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Anonymous #1

Girlfriend Extremely Cheap or Just Dirt Poor
    #27952260 - 09/16/22 01:00 AM (1 year, 4 months ago)

My girlfriend lives an hour away.  However, we use the commuter train to visit each other cheaply.  Many times I drive her back on Sunday because the train doesn't run then.  This weekend she wants me to go there and work on her car.  No problem, but I'd also like to stay until Sunday and have her drive me home in the evening.  That way we can spend more time together.  It's something she has never done and we've been dating for 1.5 years. She said she doesn't have any money and wants me to pay for the gas to get me home.  I've been paying for a few car parts recently.  Plus my time to fix her car issues and parts...and she also wants me to pay for the gas to get me home?  Is she extremely cheap or dirt poor?  Or am I just being suckered?  I think not because we are having sex and recently unprotected.  In this relationship I pay the majority of expenses because she's on a student visa and has high cost for school, car insurance, and just a mediocre job.  If I marry her soon she can apply her BS degree received in South America toward a USA career.  I believe she will then pay a fair share of expenses. Thoughts?


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Anonymous #2

Re: Girlfriend Extremely Cheap or Just Dirt Poor [Re: Anonymous #1] * 4
    #27952293 - 09/16/22 01:39 AM (1 year, 4 months ago)

One option is to break up over gas money.
Another would be to talk to her about it.


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Anonymous #3

Re: Girlfriend Extremely Cheap or Just Dirt Poor [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #27952522 - 09/16/22 08:46 AM (1 year, 4 months ago)

I would talk to her about how things have been a bit unfair in the relationship. Communication is important when you feel like things aren't equal.


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Invisiblejack_straw2208
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Re: Girlfriend Extremely Cheap or Just Dirt Poor [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #27952547 - 09/16/22 09:07 AM (1 year, 4 months ago)

Think of all the money you could have saved just going to hookers!

You could always get a second job and start seeing hookers on the side and keep paying for your girls shiz


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If you can’t tell what you desperately need, it’s probably sleep.


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InvisibleMr.GuessWork
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Re: Girlfriend Extremely Cheap or Just Dirt Poor [Re: jack_straw2208]
    #27954063 - 09/17/22 07:03 AM (1 year, 4 months ago)

If you feel like you're being treated unfairly, then you need to address that. What you're describing sounds unfair to me, so I think it's a reasonable concern from an objective viewpoint, and if it can't be addressed in a reasonable way, then that would be a red flag for me. She might be on a really tight budget and legitimately not have the money, or she might be exploiting you. Either way, you need to address the unfairness and establish some boundaries for yourself to make sure you don't feel exploited. You won't be able to trust her if you don't trust your boundaries.


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OfflineMLPismyOPSEC
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Re: Girlfriend Extremely Cheap or Just Dirt Poor [Re: jack_straw2208]
    #27954072 - 09/17/22 07:08 AM (1 year, 4 months ago)

You could talk to her about it but man, paying for her parts, fixing her car yourself, you're paying for all the gas? She's using you. The absolute least she could do is pay for gas after you've fixed her car, and any decent person would have bought the parts themselves so you'd only be using your time to fix it. The cherry on top is that this type of behavior has been going on for 1.5 years now, she's now so accustomed to it, so if you were to keep dating (or god forbid get married), do you really think things would change? Newton's third law homie. Having said that, obviously we're limited to the info you've presented here so we only know so much.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Girlfriend Extremely Cheap or Just Dirt Poor [Re: MLPismyOPSEC]
    #27955990 - 09/18/22 12:27 PM (1 year, 4 months ago)

hmm...she is living paycheck to paycheck and I'm not.  I know her cost for school is high $2000 for 1 semester, $900 for 6 months car insurance, and $500 rent a month.  I'm only talking about a couple air filters for car parts and a bottle of seafoam.  I think once we get married and she can work a normal paying job (not cash under the table) she will be able to afford cheaper insurance, paying half the expenses. Everyone agrees she's a nice person. When I'm in her town I'm not paying for her gas and we do a lot of outdoor activities together. When we go shopping she always picks a few things to pay herself.  I think she is being kind. more often I have her take the train to me because we have more privacy.  I consider her time to travel here meaningful too. Yesterday she did say she'd drive me home today if I wanted.  I know she's trying to use her money wisely.  Plus she has a bachelors degree from South America, so if she can find a career once a citizen and we're married it would be great for both of us.


Edited by Anonymous (09/18/22 12:38 PM)


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Anonymous #4

Re: Girlfriend Extremely Cheap or Just Dirt Poor [Re: Anonymous #1] * 3
    #27956047 - 09/18/22 01:06 PM (1 year, 4 months ago)

I hope you're better at unprotected sex than I was. I have 4 kids.:strokebeard2:


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OfflineTight Lunchbox
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Re: Girlfriend Extremely Cheap or Just Dirt Poor [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27956634 - 09/18/22 08:56 PM (1 year, 4 months ago)

Sounds like she doesn't have much to spare. I wouldn't worry about it tbh, it's just a little bit of money and she seems like she is good to you. You're doing a good thing by helping her out.


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Offlinehalo
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Re: Girlfriend Extremely Cheap or Just Dirt Poor [Re: Tight Lunchbox]
    #27960009 - 09/21/22 12:57 AM (1 year, 4 months ago)

OP do you love her? Do you think you might marry her and have kids? If so, I wouldn't worry about it, that's what a relationship is, it's honestly unnatural to expect a woman to earn as much as you and pay for all her shit, it rarely works out that way. Imo if you're planning on being with her for a long time, don't worry about it. She sounds poor, and sounds like she tries to spend her money responsibly but just doesn't have much. I wouldn't worry about it, seems wrong to make this a big deal imo


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OfflineManianFHS
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Re: Girlfriend Extremely Cheap or Just Dirt Poor [Re: halo] * 2
    #27963697 - 09/23/22 12:47 AM (1 year, 4 months ago)

Dude wtf are you setting yourself up for. All this shit about her money issues oh yeah also I decided to start having unprotected sex with her

Dude slap yourself in the face. Then tell yourself HAVE PROTECTED SEX. Then set limitations for the expenses you will pay. The threshold is you end it if she can’t get her financial shit together. Personally, gas money and a few other things for you to dick her in whatever way is totally worth it. But don’t start paying her rent or anything.


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InvisibleAsante
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Re: Girlfriend Extremely Cheap or Just Dirt Poor [Re: ManianFH]
    #27967505 - 09/25/22 12:38 PM (1 year, 4 months ago)

nobody who owns a car is dirt poor.


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InvisibleMr.GuessWork
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Re: Girlfriend Extremely Cheap or Just Dirt Poor [Re: Asante] * 2
    #27968980 - 09/26/22 01:15 PM (1 year, 4 months ago)

You can definitely be dirt poor and own a car in the US. public transportation doesn't exist outside most cities and lots of people need a car more than they need other things. Plenty of people live in cars, and they count as dirt poor in my book. You can own a car and still not be able to afford to eat.

That aside. It doesn't sound like she's exploiting the guy. An air filter is pretty cheap, and I'd easily accept that as a gift myself. I was thinking she was taking hundreds of dollars in parts and repairs from the guy. All in all, she sounds nice enough, and I think she's just poor and counting her pennies. I'd wear a condom though, unless you're both sure you're ready for kids.


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Anonymous #5

Re: Girlfriend Extremely Cheap or Just Dirt Poor [Re: Asante]
    #27970434 - 09/27/22 10:11 AM (1 year, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Asante said:
nobody who owns a car is dirt poor.




This is an opinion I hella agree with


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InvisibleAsante
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Re: Girlfriend Extremely Cheap or Just Dirt Poor [Re: Mr.GuessWork]
    #27970459 - 09/27/22 10:31 AM (1 year, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Mr.GuessWork said:
public transportation doesn't exist outside most cities and lots of people need a car more than they need other things. .




hence, there are millions of Americans who cant go anywhere if they cant get a ride, anbd you don't see them because never in their life are thgey going places where you'd see them.

Poverty isnt about what you need, its about what you CAN. If you can't, your world either gets smaller still or you die.

If its autumn and you got holes in your shoes, you wear a plastic bag over whats left of your sock, with an insole of cut up water bottle or you get trench foot and you can no longer walk.

Poverty is that little bit of third world level misery hidden from view in the city where you live.

Kids going to school hungry with a bit of malnourishment edema just like in Sierra Leone. Happens!


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InvisibleMr.GuessWork
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Re: Girlfriend Extremely Cheap or Just Dirt Poor [Re: Asante] * 1
    #27971233 - 09/27/22 08:17 PM (1 year, 3 months ago)

I don't know man. They're called the needy for a reason. I've seen some dirt porn people with cars and some without them. The US is a pretty large place, and there are plenty of urban homeless living in tent cities, but I've definitely seen that same kind of poverty in cars. Lots of people use cars as tents when they don't have anywhere to go. I don't think they're any better off than the people in the tents. Sometimes they're worse off.

I think the social inequality has a lot to do with it in the US. Way worse poverty in the third world seems much more tolerable, partly because your neighbors are there with you. The homeless in the US don't really have that kind of support even though they have more material wealth to work with. The suffering is more damning when you know you could do a lot better with just a little help that'd be so easy to give. I drove past a homeless dude the other day after he walked away from the traffic stop where he was begging with nothing to show for it. I heard him tell himself "They don't care it's your birthday." as I slowly drove away. He was right. That's poverty.


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InvisibleAsante
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Re: Girlfriend Extremely Cheap or Just Dirt Poor [Re: Mr.GuessWork]
    #27976413 - 10/01/22 09:55 AM (1 year, 3 months ago)

There is a level of poverty where you have to sell your car because you cant afford not to sell it - not because you cant afford its upokeep but because you can't afford not selling an item of value that is in your possession.


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OfflineJewstress
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Re: Girlfriend Extremely Cheap or Just Dirt Poor [Re: Asante]
    #27976742 - 10/01/22 01:54 PM (1 year, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Asante said:
There is a level of poverty where you have to sell your car because you cant afford not to sell it - not because you cant afford its upokeep but because you can't afford not selling an item of value that is in your possession.





Its so sad seeing the subaru that I had to sell for my kids christmas presents sit across the street.

it makes me smile because I loved driving that car all over the country but makes me sad I had to sell it just because my baby daddy wont pay child support ever


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Anonymous #5

Re: Girlfriend Extremely Cheap or Just Dirt Poor [Re: Jewstress]
    #27977127 - 10/01/22 07:13 PM (1 year, 3 months ago)

I really like the part of the conversation where we were talking about putting in a girl's ass. You know a girl can be dirt poor or super Bill Gates financially rich and putting it in her anus is still a very pleasurable experience for the one that wants to thrust the penis into her ass. Quite enjoyable. Quite the best part of this conversation if you ask me. Things of that nature.

When it comes to sex who cares about the money? Forgive me I'm just a timid anon


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InvisibleMr.GuessWork
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Re: Girlfriend Extremely Cheap or Just Dirt Poor [Re: Asante]
    #27977523 - 10/02/22 05:46 AM (1 year, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Asante said:
There is a level of poverty where you have to sell your car because you cant afford not to sell it - not because you cant afford its upokeep but because you can't afford not selling an item of value that is in your possession.





A car is a strait up necessity for lots of people, and people living out of cars often can't afford to sell them. If you're living out of an old POS then you'd be way better off using it to get things you need, even if that means using it drive to the city and beg. And if you live 20-30 miles away from a grocery store with no job or utilities, then you still need a car to get access to basic needs, plus you have shelter that you can't get evicted from. There's also not a lot to be gained by selling an old lived-in POS car. Nobody wants to buy it except the junk yard.


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