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starpig
Stranger
Registered: 07/09/21
Posts: 290
Last seen: 20 days, 2 hours
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Is the key to just let things happen?
#27856700 - 07/09/22 09:33 PM (1 year, 6 months ago) |
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Wisdom says that if you try too hard to enter into a relationship then you're gonna blow it, that you have to just let it happen at it's own pace and allow things to unfold. Butterfly on your shoulder and all that. Lots swear by it and I wanna know if people here say the same.
I have a very hard time just letting things flow, I'm so outcome focused that I try to do everything in my power to get them to like me but on the off chance it works I'm lost as to what to do next. I'm a people pleaser and it's a bad habit I'm working on. I'm afraid to be vulnerable in case things don't work out, but I know firsthand the pain that comes from lying to someone else. Lets just say it ended badly.
It's hard to be alone because it's been that way for a lot of my life. Friends are hard let alone relationships. I work so hard to get others to like me but when it works it feels shallow because they aren't with the person they thought they were. But being alone is so painful that I don't want to risk it by being myself.
I guess the general point here is, am I trying to hard? Should I just relax? How do you guys work with it?
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DBoone01
Newbie

Registered: 04/26/20
Posts: 41
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Re: Is the key to just let things happen? [Re: starpig]
#27856857 - 07/10/22 01:22 AM (1 year, 6 months ago) |
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Dear Starpig,
I can only relate to you my experience on life on this planet. I was married for 12 years, with 3 wonderful children when my first wife told me she needed a divorce. That set me into the darkest period of my life. I decided to set out to socialize as best I could with dancing venues and parents without partners for 8 years until the love of my life appeared. After 20 years of second marriage, we are still getting to know each other for our faults and strong points.
My wife is also a people pleaser. She picks up things that I cannot. I cherish her though she drives me crazy most days.
My suggestion to you is to go out to any and all social venues that you feel comfortable with to meet as many potential mates as you can. Be as honest and straightforward as you can be in presenting yourself and see what may happen. We are all created by The Great Spirit. and i believe The Great Spirit does not want us to be alone.
Responding to you with greatest hopes,
T
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starpig
Stranger
Registered: 07/09/21
Posts: 290
Last seen: 20 days, 2 hours
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Re: Is the key to just let things happen? [Re: DBoone01]
#27857033 - 07/10/22 08:30 AM (1 year, 6 months ago) |
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Quote:
DBoone01 said: Dear Starpig,
I can only relate to you my experience on life on this planet. I was married for 12 years, with 3 wonderful children when my first wife told me she needed a divorce. That set me into the darkest period of my life. I decided to set out to socialize as best I could with dancing venues and parents without partners for 8 years until the love of my life appeared. After 20 years of second marriage, we are still getting to know each other for our faults and strong points.
My wife is also a people pleaser. She picks up things that I cannot. I cherish her though she drives me crazy most days.
My suggestion to you is to go out to any and all social venues that you feel comfortable with to meet as many potential mates as you can. Be as honest and straightforward as you can be in presenting yourself and see what may happen. We are all created by The Great Spirit. and i believe The Great Spirit does not want us to be alone.
Responding to you with greatest hopes,
T
I appreciate it.
In all honesty the hardest part for me would be to present myself honestly. I always try to behave and say things in a way that people would like and approve of but I know in the long run that doesn't work, because then our relationship would be built on a lie.
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LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,325
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Re: Is the key to just let things happen? [Re: starpig]
#27931666 - 09/03/22 05:02 AM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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The old saying "Honesty is the best policy" really applies here. Faking a personality or interests is also mentally taxing and in the end, u will feel empty and unfullfilled as people may prefer your fake personality than your natural personality.
Being true to oneself and appreciating one's inner self is an essential part of being happy.
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starpig
Stranger
Registered: 07/09/21
Posts: 290
Last seen: 20 days, 2 hours
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Re: Is the key to just let things happen? [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
#27931830 - 09/03/22 08:15 AM (1 year, 4 months ago) |
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In my experience being true to yourself just leaves you alone and unhappy. People say to be yourself but I think only people who already made it think that works. People only want it if the real you is something they like.
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