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Invisibler3volution.gurl
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Re: How to get a personality or make friends? [Re: starpig] * 1
    #27920587 - 08/27/22 02:04 AM (1 year, 4 months ago)

Do you have any loved ones? People or any life you care about? Like have you had any pets?

Usually what people do when unfortunately what they truly want to do in life doesn't make any money; they have the safe job, but then also do what they love in their leisure time.

Life is about balance and I think you just haven't found the right balance for you yet.

Taking care of animals generally gives people a reason to live and animals provide therapy in a way nothing else does.

You're interested in the ocean, maybe an aquarium with species you love could cheer you up. Give you some motivation. Just a suggestion based on what I know about you thus far from this thread. I need to know more about you to really help though which is why I asked those questions and will probably ask a few more based on your answers.


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Offlinestarpig
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Re: How to get a personality or make friends? [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
    #27920665 - 08/27/22 05:29 AM (1 year, 4 months ago)

A lot of evidence and experiences from others show that the results are mixed. From what I got it mostly just reinforces what you already believe. In any case it doesn’t make you more interesting or give a personality.


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Offlinestarpig
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Re: How to get a personality or make friends? [Re: Markamello]
    #27920666 - 08/27/22 05:30 AM (1 year, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Markamello said:
The op has a personality, its just a negative, argumentative, know-it-all personality. People with personalities like this come across as dickheads so other people distance themselves from people like that.



Your idea was a bad one just because you made it out ok doesn’t make it good. Going to a country with no money and not speaking the language doesn’t usually end well.


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Offlinestarpig
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Re: How to get a personality or make friends? [Re: r3volution.gurl]
    #27920673 - 08/27/22 05:41 AM (1 year, 4 months ago)

I don’t really have loved ones. I have two dogs though but they weren’t my choice to have, they were what my family wanted after we kept promising no more dogs.

I generally see taking care of animals as a burden and not really something that gives me a reason to live. And animals don’t really provide therapy because they don’t always love you back, at least with every dog I’ve had. They all only really came to me when no one else was around.

It feels like I’m into the ocean right now but I honestly don’t know how long that would last. That’s always been my issue, nothing is really an interest or hobby it’s just a weekly obsession that gets thrown away in the end and then something else feels right. There’s nothing I can ever act on because it never lasts. I though I was into bugs and when I delved into after a week I was bored. I got a bunch of books on the ocean feeling like it was right and I couldn’t wait to get into it and even planned to see the aquarium. End of the week comes, never read the books and lost any desire to go to the aquarium.

So I don’t think I have anything inside that drives me. Nothing true or honest, just emptiness and I think that’s why I never have any luck. Because people can look at me and see essentially a husk of a person. No passion, drive, or anything significant.


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InvisibleTheStallionMang
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Re: How to get a personality or make friends? [Re: starpig]
    #27921063 - 08/27/22 11:17 AM (1 year, 4 months ago)

This is nothing more than a whiny bitch fest for OP
Closed the damn thread already


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Offlinestarpig
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Re: How to get a personality or make friends? [Re: TheStallionMang]
    #27921093 - 08/27/22 11:36 AM (1 year, 4 months ago)

Quote:

TheStallionMang said:
This is nothing more than a whiny bitch fest for OP
Closed the damn thread already



I already mentioned how your assessment of me was wrong, I don’t know what you’re trying to get at.


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Invisibler3volution.gurl
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Re: How to get a personality or make friends? [Re: starpig] * 1
    #27921096 - 08/27/22 11:38 AM (1 year, 4 months ago)

So based on that answer, it is highly likely you are going through some sort of mental imprisonment regarding the week timeline thing.  It's not necessarily your fault, it could be just a thought pattern you've stuck yourself in, nutrient deficiency or a mental disorder. Bipolar, depression, OCD. It could not be, I have a couple more questions at the end of this post. You already predict you will get bored of something so you actually do get bored of it. Realistically, if anyone believes they will get bored of something, naturally, they would. Thoughts are meant to become real or not, based on what we choose to be real or not. Which is why our brain and what we think is so important to our life.

There's something called the law of attraction. I suggest you look into it. A simple super brief summary about it:

People have life goals and everything they do, while it may seem it's not in a linear path to that goal, their thoughts and choices everyday however will eventually lead to their goals or at least open doors in regards to those goals. Some people are aware about it, others aren't so that's one of the reasons when someone gets an opportunity they wanted or a network connection they need for their goals they may say something like "I feel so lucky" for example.

I think you've lost control of your own thoughts and that's why you feel empty. Everything in your life is going exactly how you think it to go really.

For example, you don't really want the dogs and you see them as a burden, which is fine you have a right to your opinion, however, at the same time you are not happy regarding the fact they only come to you when no one else is around and actually base your opinion on animals like dogs because of that experience.

Animals are useful for therapy and they tell us nearly everything we need to know about someone. Despite your feelings towards your dogs, they still go to you because dogs love unconditionally. Why would you be their first choice when there are other family members who they know wants them and don't see them as a burden?

Because you are mentioning drive, what is your diet and exercise routine like?


--------------------

"Souls love. Thats what souls do. Egos dont, but souls do. Become a soul, look around, and youll be amazed-all the beings around you are souls. Be one, see one. When many people have this heart connection, then we will know that we are all one, we human beings all over the planet. We will be one. One love. And dont leave out the animals, and trees, and clouds, and galaxies: its all one. Its one energy." -Ram Dass


Edited by r3volution.gurl (08/27/22 11:45 AM)


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Offlinestarpig
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Re: How to get a personality or make friends? [Re: r3volution.gurl]
    #27921139 - 08/27/22 12:00 PM (1 year, 4 months ago)

Quote:

I think you've lost control of your own thoughts and that's why you feel empty. Everything in your life is going exactly how you think it to go really.




Not really. This has just been a recurring issue. It has nothing to do with me expecting it (I don’t) but rather that it’s just a pattern that happens across my life. I find something I’m excited about and get bored immediately after. Each time I have hope that I finally found something and then get crushed when it doesn’t work out. Everything in my life also didn’t go how I thought it would, the opposite in fact, but that’s a very long story.

Quote:

Animals are useful for therapy and they tell us nearly everything we need to know about someone. Despite your feelings towards your dogs, they still go to you because dogs love unconditionally. Why would you be their first choice when there are other family members who they know wants them and don't see them as a burden?

Because you are mentioning drive, what is your diet and exercise routine like?




They actually don’t tell us everything we need to know about someone, that’s a myth. I’ve seen dogs react badly to someone who never hurt them and who’s very sweet, case in point one of my dogs. Terrified of everyone who isn’t us but especially my grandmother (who did nothing to him). I think it’s a nice notion but there isn’t evidence to back that. Dogs don’t know if you think of them as a burden. My last three that I wanted and did everything for never came to me at all. One who loved the most wanted nothing to do with me no matter what I did so that sort of proves that notion of dogs wrong for me.

Diet is ok, exercise is regular, but neither really affect my drive.

The law of attraction is pure junk. It’s been proven wrong time and again, stuff happens whether you want it to or not regardless of what you’re thinking (and I can attest to that). You just have to deal with what life gives you if you can.


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Invisibler3volution.gurl
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Re: How to get a personality or make friends? [Re: starpig]
    #27921226 - 08/27/22 01:02 PM (1 year, 4 months ago)

Quote:

starpig said:
Quote:

I think you've lost control of your own thoughts and that's why you feel empty. Everything in your life is going exactly how you think it to go really.




Not really. This has just been a recurring issue. It has nothing to do with me expecting it (I don’t) but rather that it’s just a pattern that happens across my life. I find something I’m excited about and get bored immediately after. Each time I have hope that I finally found something and then get crushed when it doesn’t work out. Everything in my life also didn’t go how I thought it would, the opposite in fact, but that’s a very long story.




You admit it's a recurring issue, but you yourself don't know what's causing that issue. Getting excited about something isn't a reason to stay motivated. It's great you get excited, but something is causing your boredom and so far, you haven't any real answers why that is. What is your most specific reason you believe why?

You're used to getting bored, but it's not what you want and that's why you're here and made this thread.

Quote:


They actually don’t tell us everything we need to know about someone, that’s a myth. I’ve seen dogs react badly to someone who never hurt them and who’s very sweet, case in point one of my dogs. Terrified of everyone who isn’t us but especially my grandmother (who did nothing to him). I think it’s a nice notion but there isn’t evidence to back that. Dogs don’t know if you think of them as a burden. My last three that I wanted and did everything for never came to me at all. One who loved the most wanted nothing to do with me no matter what I did so that sort of proves that notion of dogs wrong for me.





So I've actually trained dogs for a living and dabbled in dog psychology. Sure, you would be right if you're talking about an unstable dog which it sounds like you have one. That alone leaves me with much more experience and knowledge than you on this topic. I've trained and rehabilitated dozens of dogs and none were unstable because of my leadership. An unstable dog is a telltale sign of an unstable owner. Not saying that's you, but someone in your household if you have a fearful nervous dog. It's not normal dog behaviour.

Everything I said was regarding stable dogs only and I have the evidence to back that up. I can bring an array of studies regarding therapy dogs for example and what they can tell doctors about their patients. You tend to base your facts solely on your perception of the world and I'm not sure that's a great idea considering you're asking for advice and help. I'm not here to argue with you, I don't talk about things I don't know much about. You have to accept that you possibly don't know everything there is to know about a given topic, for example; dogs and that could be a reason why you get bored because your desire for learning beyond your opinions and experiences doesn't exist. Therefore whatever it is you get excited about, once you've formed your given opinion on it, the desire to continue on disappears, meanwhile you can't learn everything there is to know about something within a week. It's impossible regarding topics like psychology, ocean biology, animal behaviour etc.

Quote:


Diet is ok, exercise is regular, but neither really affect my drive.





By diet is ok, what do you mean exactly? What does a day of your diet look like? Like what kind of meals and how many meals per day? Do you practice any intermittent fasting?

Exercise is proven neurologically to affect drive, otherwise people wouldn't be motivated to continue to exercise or do it regularly. What do you do exactly for exercise? Cardio? Weight training? How many times per week for both cardio and weight training? Do you know about Calisthenic exercise?

Quote:


The law of attraction is pure junk. It’s been proven wrong time and again, stuff happens whether you want it to or not regardless of what you’re thinking (and I can attest to that). You just have to deal with what life gives you if you can.




So in the field of psychology, it hasn't been proven wrong, which is where it legitimately matters as far as it's benefit to people. Thoughts are powerful. People are in cognitive behavioural therapy for negative thoughts. Negative thoughts are usually a symptom of a larger problem, not always, but their detriment to an individual thinking them no matter the reason or cause is very real. I have so many studies and sources to back that up. I can also attest to that personally, but attestations mean nothing really and I don't base my opinions solely on my perspective, but also the work scientists and experts in the field are constantly doing. You seem like you will learn until you've believed you've formed an educated opinion on something and then never bother to keep up with the ever changing information and new discoveries which could be a cause of your boredom also.

I think deep down, you are looking for an answer or reason to your issue that unfortunately either isn't true or doesn't exist. There is no magic answer here. You are the master of your universe and your thoughts and choices, are your thoughts and choices. If you feel like they weren't then you're not in control of your life period.


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Offlinestarpig
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Re: How to get a personality or make friends? [Re: r3volution.gurl]
    #27921424 - 08/27/22 03:04 PM (1 year, 4 months ago)

Quote:

You admit it's a recurring issue, but you yourself don't know what's causing that issue. Getting excited about something isn't a reason to stay motivated. It's great you get excited, but something is causing your boredom and so far, you haven't any real answers why that is. What is your most specific reason you believe why?

You're used to getting bored, but it's not what you want and that's why you're here and made this thread.




I don't know why. Maybe because all of it takes work to do? Or maybe when I get into learning more about it it's not as fun as I thought it would be. Nothing I like really lasts long to make something of it. It's all just surface level interest, nothing that keeps me going.

Quote:

I can bring an array of studies regarding therapy dogs for example and what they can tell doctors about their patients. You tend to base your facts solely on your perception of the world and I'm not sure that's a great idea considering you're asking for advice and help. I'm not here to argue with you, I don't talk about things I don't know much about. You have to accept that you possibly don't know everything there is to know about a given topic, for example; dogs and that could be a reason why you get bored because your desire for learning beyond your opinions and experiences doesn't exist. Therefore whatever it is you get excited about, once you've formed your given opinion on it, the desire to continue on disappears, meanwhile you can't learn everything there is to know about something within a week. It's impossible regarding topics like psychology, ocean biology, animal behaviour etc.




Therapy dogs don't really count because they are trained to look and respond in certain ways. Animals on their own don't do that which kind of proves my point about animals not being able to tell you everything about a person.

It's not a matter of learning everything it's that as soon as I start the motivation evaporates for no reason. Gone, and I just spent a bunch of money committing to something I have no interest in.

Quote:

Exercise is proven neurologically to affect drive, otherwise people wouldn't be motivated to continue to exercise or do it regularly. What do you do exactly for exercise? Cardio? Weight training? How many times per week for both cardio and weight training? Do you know about Calisthenic exercise?




Cardio and weight training. But the research just shows it CAN do that, it's not proven directly. In my case it doesn't change anything.

Quote:

So in the field of psychology, it hasn't been proven wrong, which is where it legitimately matters as far as it's benefit to people. Thoughts are powerful. People are in cognitive behavioural therapy for negative thoughts. Negative thoughts are usually a symptom of a larger problem, not always, but their detriment to an individual thinking them no matter the reason or cause is very real. I have so many studies and sources to back that up. I can also attest to that personally, but attestations mean nothing really and I don't base my opinions solely on my perspective, but also the work scientists and experts in the field are constantly doing. You seem like you will learn until you've believed you've formed an educated opinion on something and then never bother to keep up with the ever changing information and new discoveries which could be a cause of your boredom also.

I think deep down, you are looking for an answer or reason to your issue that unfortunately either isn't true or doesn't exist. There is no magic answer here. You are the master of your universe and your thoughts and choices, are your thoughts and choices. If you feel like they weren't then you're not in control of your life period.




It actually has. The law of attraction is not real and does not exist. There isn't really anything to back up that negative thoughts impact a person because you can't really prove that someone is having them. And in some cases, like myself, they don't affect the outcome of an action. I can't count the number of times where truly believing I would mess up or fail didn't happen, and the times when I thought I would didn't work out. Thoughts don't impact reality, they are just electrical impulses across the brain.

And if you're referring to the effectiveness of therapy, recent studies seem to place it's effectiveness at just over 50%.

I have kept up with the changing information which is how I can tell when you aren't being truthful. But in the case of the law of attraction you don't need studies to prove that is false. It was just made to sell books, that's it.

Quote:

You are the master of your universe and your thoughts and choices, are your thoughts and choices. If you feel like they weren't then you're not in control of your life period.




I don't control what I like, where I'm born, who my family is, what convinces me, what I dislike, my learning ability, my thoughts, etc etc. There is a lot we are not in control off. We aren't masters of our own universe, we just believe that because it makes life tolerable.

If I could have a passion or interest I would, but no amount of effort has made anything stick. That isn't something I can really control.


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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
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Re: How to get a personality or make friends? [Re: starpig] * 1
    #27921438 - 08/27/22 03:14 PM (1 year, 4 months ago)

Starpig, im pretty sure you have Anhedonia. You should research on it: https://www.webmd.com/depression/what-is-anhedonia

From Page 1:

Quote:

Nothing makes me tick or passionate, I don’t know what I wanna do with my time here,I strive for nothing. I haven’t really accomplished anything to my fulfillment. I mostly just find things to kill time, I have pets but they’re not really mine. I listen to anything that sounds good so it doesn’t matter, no hobbies, no one notices when I’m around. I don’t really enjoy any kind of fun and I don’t have a set sense of humor.




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Offlinestarpig
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Re: How to get a personality or make friends? [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
    #27921523 - 08/27/22 04:18 PM (1 year, 4 months ago)

It's more like there is nothing stable for me to act on, nothing lasts more than a day or a week so I end up having no real interests or passions to share or develop.


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Invisibler3volution.gurl
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Re: How to get a personality or make friends? [Re: starpig] * 1
    #27921848 - 08/27/22 09:40 PM (1 year, 4 months ago)

Quote:

starpig said:
I don't know why. Maybe because all of it takes work to do? Or maybe when I get into learning more about it it's not as fun as I thought it would be. Nothing I like really lasts long to make something of it. It's all just surface level interest, nothing that keeps me going.




The 'why' is the key to all your problems though. At least you are aware something isn't quite right. I have to agree with logical chaos. I think the professionals you saw were crap. This really sounds like Anhedonia. What's even more interesting is you've never had a baseline to compare yourself throughout your life because as you've shared, you've always been this way.

Quote:

Therapy dogs don't really count because they are trained to look and respond in certain ways. Animals on their own don't do that which kind of proves my point about animals not being able to tell you everything about a person.




You are confusing therapy dogs with service animals. Anyone's pet can become a therapy animal. Any stable dog(mostly non protective breeds) would pass this certification because dogs are naturally therapeutic when stable. The standards are really just friendliness, a clean bill of health and basic obedience. The reason breed plays a role is some breeds are aloof to strangers as they were bred for guarding and protection. However, with their family they provide those therapeutic qualities.

Quote:

Therapy dogs may be trained by just about anyone, but must meet set standards to be dog certification and registration and actively participate in the program. They are usually handled by their owners, but in some cases of Animal Assisted Therapy, the therapy dog may be handled by a trained professional.




https://www.therapydogs.com/service-dog-vs-therapy-dog/#:~:text=Therapy%20dogs%20may%20be%20trained,handled%20by%20a%20trained%20professional.

This link above has multiple studies of therapy animals and their benefits. Again, these are not service animals. Service animals are not allowed to behave like dogs while working as they have a specific task to perform(I can elaborate what this means).

This is why I explained to you, you don't have the knowledge or experience to come to a conclusion on whether animals would help you or not. I've estasblished you just don't like animals. Similar to the opinion regarding psychedelics. We are here to help and it seems like you prefer to argue instead of figuring out how these suggestions could actually help you. I've been there, not my whole life like you have, but listening to what other people have to say(which you do that so great!), but also applying and learning from others when they might know more than you is what you are missing in life. It pushes people away. It ruins the opportunity for any relationship, let alone a healthy one. You are subconciously telling people around you, that you know what's best and have a wall up to the possibility you might be wrong or misinformed.

When you are infact wrong or misinformed, people like myself in regards to the therapy animal topic, then don't have a desire to form a relationship with you(it isn't personal) because why bother, it's extra work for me, when I have other people in my life that would be willing to listen, do their own research to back up what they heard and apply it how it suits them. If it helps, great, if it doesn't there are 8 billion people full of suggestions. It's about trying. Which I think your effort exerted is very different from majority of people's.

Quote:


It's not a matter of learning everything it's that as soon as I start the motivation evaporates for no reason. Gone, and I just spent a bunch of money committing to something I have no interest in.




Hmmm see that's an issue. I've never spent any money on something until I've expelled all the free resources online which usually takes months. Don't get me wrong though, I've gotten into something like video game streaming for months, spent all the money on it then quit because I wasn't interested anymore. That happens to everyone, but within a week? That's a red flag. It almost sounds like manic episodes. You get excited about something, put everything you got into it, your expectations weren't met and you're back at square one.

Quote:

Cardio and weight training. But the research just shows it CAN do that, it's not proven directly. In my case it doesn't change anything.




No... I'm sorry, you are wrong(again).

This literature is more general on all the benefits of exercises, not much tangible evidence in regards to devices used.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5928534/#!po=1.16667

This literature is specific to the neurological effect of exercise on the chemicals of the brain.(plenty of evidence)

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4061837/

This literature is specific to the neurological effect to the prefrontal cortex.(plenty of evidence, even uses neural imaging)

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3951958/


This what the prefrontal cortex is 'responsible for'. Self efficacy..

https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychpedia/prefrontal-cortex

So... I just have one question. What motivates you to work out and why?

Quote:

It actually has. The law of attraction is not real and does not exist. There isn't really anything to back up that negative thoughts impact a person because you can't really prove that someone is having them. And in some cases, like myself, they don't affect the outcome of an action. I can't count the number of times where truly believing I would mess up or fail didn't happen, and the times when I thought I would didn't work out. Thoughts don't impact reality, they are just electrical impulses across the brain.




I really didn't want to have to explain this, but yes, the term "law of attraction" is coined. However, there is scientific data to back up positive and negative thoughts and how it affects our physical and mental health which affects outcomes in our life. Unfortunately, because of how the term was used to make money, science is more behind than they should be in that regard, but there is still ample evidence to support how one's thoughts matter in quality of life. Also, I don't even know the "laws" of attraction. It's really the concept I know and how it makes a difference in people's lives and how people use the concept to achieve what they want in life. Meditation is another form relating.

This will be the last time I post studies to support my arguments because I didn't write in this thread to argue with you.

This literature is regarding positive thoughts.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3788860/

This literature is about negative thoughts.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6554130/

This one is about negative thoughts and how it relates to anxiety and depression which we know affects decision making and outcomes.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2899011/

Another negative thought study and how they hinder learning, affect tasks, interpersonal relationships, achievement goals and cognitive resources.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5836010/

This article resonates with you.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4830281/

Some negative thoughts are infact beneficial in specific circumstances for motivation, but in your case, let's agree they aren't or you wouldn't be here.

Quote:


And if you're referring to the effectiveness of therapy, recent studies seem to place it's effectiveness at just over 50%.




Feel free to post any study. Based off of everything else, I'm going to go out on a limb and think you are generally misinformed. Cognitive behavioural therapy is a very specific type of therapy. You're probably talking about therapy in general by any therapist. I really don't care because I've wasted hours sourcing all this info and this is potentially why you don't have meaningful relationships because people feel like you waste their time. You're wasting my time with these arguments. But again, nothing personal. I waste my time a lot here, but not like this and I personally dislike it and wish to not continue putting effort in proving what I know because if I don't know something, I usually wouldn't bother saying it.

Quote:


I have kept up with the changing information which is how I can tell when you aren't being truthful. But in the case of the law of attraction you don't need studies to prove that is false. It was just made to sell books, that's it.




This isn't about truth. It is about knowledge, information and lack thereof. Law of attraction is a basic concept helpful for a lot of people working towards their goals in life. You used attestation as a source for evidence. Law of attraction has tons of non profitable personal attestations of success in life. It really depends on one's definition of success.

Quote:

I don't control what I like, where I'm born, who my family is, what convinces me, what I dislike, my learning ability, my thoughts, etc etc. There is a lot we are not in control off. We aren't masters of our own universe, we just believe that because it makes life tolerable.

If I could have a passion or interest I would, but no amount of effort has made anything stick. That isn't something I can really control.




Yeah.. you need a lot of help my friend. I strongly suggest you head on back to a professional, probably completely different like a PhD psychologist if you truly believe you can't control your own thoughts. Sure there are moments when thoughts are uncontrollable, but majority of the time, you should be capable, if not you need to learn the tools to. Psychology provides those tools.

I do agree that we have certain beliefs to make life tolerable. Have you seen our civilization? It's absolutely horrifying. It's not tolerable without effort. I prefer to make the best of what I can control. I've got life goals of living off grid and nurturing the natural environment and want a variety of animals to experience daily. Not excited about the burden of their care, but there are trade offs life. A balance as mentioned earlier of things we don't want to do to have things we do want.

You need professional help 100%. As someone said earlier, you are your own worst enemy, but only you can ultimately help yourself. No one else has any answers that will help you because you've made that clear. You need someone to help you find those answers that you respect and admire. And based on all the misinformation, I can't even be sure everything you write here is accurate so I definitely cannot help you find those answers. But the reason you workout may give a hint to something else.


--------------------

"Souls love. Thats what souls do. Egos dont, but souls do. Become a soul, look around, and youll be amazed-all the beings around you are souls. Be one, see one. When many people have this heart connection, then we will know that we are all one, we human beings all over the planet. We will be one. One love. And dont leave out the animals, and trees, and clouds, and galaxies: its all one. Its one energy." -Ram Dass


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Invisibler3volution.gurl
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Registered: 10/20/21
Posts: 6,250
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Re: How to get a personality or make friends? [Re: r3volution.gurl]
    #27921851 - 08/27/22 09:41 PM (1 year, 4 months ago)

Yeah I know y'all

:tldr:

I can't summarize this anymore. Apologies.


--------------------

"Souls love. Thats what souls do. Egos dont, but souls do. Become a soul, look around, and youll be amazed-all the beings around you are souls. Be one, see one. When many people have this heart connection, then we will know that we are all one, we human beings all over the planet. We will be one. One love. And dont leave out the animals, and trees, and clouds, and galaxies: its all one. Its one energy." -Ram Dass


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Invisibler3volution.gurl
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Registered: 10/20/21
Posts: 6,250
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Re: How to get a personality or make friends? [Re: r3volution.gurl]
    #27921871 - 08/27/22 09:58 PM (1 year, 4 months ago)

Quote:

I can't count the number of times where truly believing I would mess up or fail didn't happen, and the times when I thought I would didn't work out.




I also want to comment on this.

You have misunderstood the concept of law of attraction or at least what I meant on it.

Believing without any effort is absolutely useless.

For a real example in my daily life, I can believe all day this endometriosis disease I have won't affect me any longer, but if I don't actually do anything to support that it's useless. If I continue to drink alcohol or put harmful foods in my body, I am not actually practicing in real life what I think. Which is what I meant in regards to making thoughts real and the choices which follow them. Thoughts are the start of this process, not the entirety it alone.

Shit also happens so unless you are specific on what exactly you're talking about, it really holds no weight.

Someone could want to exceed a certain percentage on an exam and think they were going to, but didn't. There are a lot of variables. There are a lot of variables we aren't in control of, but there are some variables we are in control of. It is factually incorrect to disagree and think we as humans have no control over anything at all especially our own thoughts and choices majority of the time.

I just thought about what I'd like to eat and what pertains to what I should eat vs what I shouldn't based on my disease and the choices I have at home in stock. I'm hungry too.


--------------------

"Souls love. Thats what souls do. Egos dont, but souls do. Become a soul, look around, and youll be amazed-all the beings around you are souls. Be one, see one. When many people have this heart connection, then we will know that we are all one, we human beings all over the planet. We will be one. One love. And dont leave out the animals, and trees, and clouds, and galaxies: its all one. Its one energy." -Ram Dass


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Offlinestarpig
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Registered: 07/09/21
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Re: How to get a personality or make friends? [Re: r3volution.gurl]
    #27921933 - 08/27/22 11:16 PM (1 year, 4 months ago)

That research is iffy as there isn't really a meaningful way to show what is a positive or negative emotion, that sounds too arbitrary to be considered science, so those studies aren't worth much.

Quote:

This is why I explained to you, you don't have the knowledge or experience to come to a conclusion on whether animals would help you or not. I've estasblished you just don't like animals.




You actually haven't you just jumped the gun on that one. I like animals just not having to care for them as pets. And I do know that animals can't tell you about a person.

Quote:

You are subconciously telling people around you, that you know what's best and have a wall up to the possibility you might be wrong or misinformed.




More like it's all the same advice that hasn't worked.

Quote:

No... I'm sorry, you are wrong(again).

This literature is more general on all the benefits of exercises, not much tangible evidence in regards to devices used.




Again, no. IT just says that it can, it's not a sure thing and in my case it didn't make any difference in mood or drive. I felt the same either way.

Quote:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6554130/




This is meaningless as it just quotes a bunch of self-help books.

Quote:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2899011/




Also meaningless as it was just self-reporting, it doesn't prove negative thinking and I mentioned how arbitrary that label is.

Quote:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5836010/




This one literally mentions the findings are variable.

Quote:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4830281/




Again, meaningless because negative and positive are arbitrary.

Quote:

Law of attraction is a basic concept helpful for a lot of people working towards their goals in life. You used attestation as a source for evidence. Law of attraction has tons of non profitable personal attestations of success in life. It really depends on one's definition of success.





Except it isn't. It's not a real thing that helps or impacts people. How you think or feel about a situation doesn't affect the outcome of it. They've even tested it and found it to be false. Those attestations are meaningless as there is no way to know if it really is the law of attraction or bias, and it doesn't measure the thousands of failures either.

Quote:

Yeah.. you need a lot of help my friend. I strongly suggest you head on back to a professional, probably completely different like a PhD psychologist if you truly believe you can't control your own thoughts. Sure there are moments when thoughts are uncontrollable, but majority of the time, you should be capable, if not you need to learn the tools to. Psychology provides those tools.




NO it doesn't. You can't control your thoughts, psychology even says so. Why do you think the pink elephant is a popular experiment to demonstrate that you have no control over your thoughts. Even tons of eastern philosophy agrees with that.

I've been to professionals but they couldn't do anything about it, no meds would work either they all just made me feel worse.


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Offlinestarpig
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Last seen: 20 days, 2 hours
Re: How to get a personality or make friends? [Re: r3volution.gurl]
    #27921939 - 08/27/22 11:23 PM (1 year, 4 months ago)

Quote:

You have misunderstood the concept of law of attraction or at least what I meant on it.




This is a common defense when pointed out that it's not real.

Quote:

It is factually incorrect to disagree and think we as humans have no control over anything at all especially our own thoughts and choices majority of the time.




It's actually not, especially considering recent psychological research that contests the notion of free will. We really don't have control over a lot of stuff in life. Where you are born dramatically impacts you and you can't control that. Nor your parents, how you are raised, what convinces you, what you like or dislike or your thoughts. So, with so much out of control we really aren't masters of our destiny and it's delusional to think we are.

Quote:

Believing without any effort is absolutely useless.




And now you know why the law of attraction is useless.

What you are describing is just plain old trying, which isn't impacted by belief as I showed already. Thoughts don't affect reality because thoughts aren't reality (to borrow buddhist thought).

There just isn't anything to support your claim. I and others can attest how we think about a situation has no bearing on the outcome or the effort, like I tried to explain. I can believe something won't work but when tried it does, and vice versa. There just isn't a tie between the two.


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Offlinestarpig
Stranger
Registered: 07/09/21
Posts: 290
Last seen: 20 days, 2 hours
Re: How to get a personality or make friends? [Re: starpig]
    #27921950 - 08/27/22 11:52 PM (1 year, 4 months ago)

But to answer I only worked out for the approval of other people, I didn’t really enjoy doing it. Still don’t.


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OfflineMarkamello
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Registered: 04/13/20
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Re: How to get a personality or make friends? [Re: starpig]
    #27921954 - 08/28/22 12:02 AM (1 year, 4 months ago)

Surely op is trolling.
Close the thread.


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Invisiblecubedryeguy
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Registered: 07/24/15
Posts: 536
Re: How to get a personality or make friends? [Re: Markamello] * 1
    #27921966 - 08/28/22 12:21 AM (1 year, 4 months ago)

I’ve briefly read over everything being said so I may have missed a lot. With that said I think bringing awareness to the decisions ‘we make’ helps us to choose the best possible outcome. When I’m in a negative mood and have lost my awareness in negative thought loops I will be influenced by emotional habitual responses. This is usually the ‘wrong’ choice. If I’m bringing awareness to the situation and not getting so absorbed into my emotional state and the accompanying thoughts, or vice versa, I make the ‘better’ choice.

This then will lead to a more positive outlook and I’ll notice all of the good that happens to me even though the bad is also still there. I’m just less absorbed in it. It then seems like I’m attracting more positivity into my life, which I am with better decision making, while not being as impacted by the bad events. If this wasn’t so coherent I apologize, I’ve had a 🥃 and a 💨


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