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OfflineTrancedOutBrah
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Registered: 08/17/21
Posts: 1,303
Last seen: 1 day, 55 minutes
Re: Getting over someone important to you? [Re: r3volution.gurl]
    #27891910 - 08/05/22 10:13 PM (1 year, 5 months ago)

Yep I know what you mean.

It's easy to spiral when you stop self-care and when you stop self-care, it's easy to fall into a habit of not even wanting to practice self-care.

I'm struggling right now personally with leaving my ex fiancee, its hard to even put into words how desperate I am for her love and how much I'll never have it anymore.

It's a weird feeling to love someone you know you can't be with

My best advice? Get outside, get some sun, try out a new hobby, maybe meet some new friends in said hobby, try new shit, do different things until you find something you enjoy

Life is full of surprises, but you can't just get stuck. I say this for me as much as I'm saying this for anyone else.

If you meet someone new, great. If you just make some friends along the way, even better.


--------------------
Lead by example, words mean little when your actions don't reflect what you say.

Spread kindness, love, empathy, compassion.

Learn from mistakes. Try and do better. Each day is a new day, try to make it a better one.

Coconut and Avocado is awesome for the skin.

MIND OVER MATTER

:mushroom2::lsd:


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Invisibler3volution.gurl
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Registered: 10/20/21
Posts: 6,250
Loc: Canada Flag
Re: Getting over someone important to you? [Re: TrancedOutBrah]
    #27891963 - 08/05/22 11:02 PM (1 year, 5 months ago)

I definitely feel stuck now.

I believe I've developed some sort of mental illness on top of a couple physical health issues I'm in the middle of hopefully fixing. I possibly have hyper responsibility OCD.

For example, I went out to the garden today in the backyard to pick some veggies just to get outside thinking it would be good for me, I let the dog go out with me and I'm fairly positive she ate a rotten peach including the pit from the neighbours tree that fell in our yard. I basically regretted going outside and have been mentally not well wondering if she's going to get cyanide poisoning because I know it's not the first time it's happened and it can accumulate.

She probably will be ok, but I can't live like this, in constant fear of bad things happening and feeling so responsible I make myself sick.

I have loads of friends I love, but I avoid them when I'm not functional. I've become expert at isolating myself. I'm pretty sure the last 6 months my friends think I've been physically ill every week and they're not necessarily wrong in thinking that.

I'm hoping if I could get rid of this one infection that has plagued me for two months I can actually feel better to get my ass up and get into routine.

Thanks for sharing your story tranced and for the advice. I've read a lot of your posts. I hope it works out for you and you figure it out.

If you don't mind sharing, I'm curious why you can't be with her.


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OfflineTrancedOutBrah
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Re: Getting over someone important to you? [Re: r3volution.gurl]
    #27892426 - 08/06/22 11:25 AM (1 year, 5 months ago)

Well she went pyscho on me, literally yelling at me hours on end every single day, for about a month straight. She was just yelling about shit that didn't even make sense

Then she started to get physical with me, quite literally punching me and she threw a gift I just bought her straight at my face and hit my eye/ear (it was a box of really nice bluetooth headphones, the charging case actually weighs a decent bit). On our last day together, I was gathering my things up to leave and she took my important documents (it has all birth cert, SSN, banking info) and she refused to give it back and was going to run off with it to her parents and I had to literally rip the bag out of her hands and she kicked me. She kept calling me unreliable, despite the fact I've been supporting her financially for the past year as she hasn't even had a job and when she had a job, it's never been longer than for a month.

All of this behavior was really fucking weird and almost like she just had a psychotic meltdown from stress. She never yelled at me before this and she had never ever gotten physical with me. I was with her every day for over 2 1/2 years as we lived together and I had just boughten her a ring to get married in october. We never argued, we always had a great time with each other, all of this behavior was super out of the blue and all happened in our last month together back in May.

She ran away to her parents after I told her I was leaving her and just never came back. Told her parents and texted my parents a whoooooooole bunch of bullshit about drug use, some of which was true and some of which was just wrong. I don't even care if my parents know I use GHB, my mom already knew I did a plethora of drugs anyway. It was a shock to my dad but I'm an indepedent man and can do whatever I want. They saw me in person and saw how many bruises and how fucked up she got me.

I'm a pretty strong dude especially when I was taking steroids and GHB all the time, it's the only reason why I healed up so fast.

It's a much longer story than this, but nothing I did ever warranted being attacked, let alone being yelled at for countless hours a day.

It's weird writing this out, because it makes it hard to believe I could still love someone who did all this to me, but prior to May, we had an incredible relationship and like I said, I literally don't understand what happened.

She was my best friend and someone I laughed with for hours every single day. We had everything in common except for drug use, which she had no problem with me using drugs and fully supported me using shit.

It really destroyed me. I moved back into my parents place and got sober because I knew abusing drugs wasn't going to help me get past this shit.

I'm doing a lot better now but it still doesn't sit right with me. The most painful thing was I never got an explanation from her about why the fuck she did those things, her parents never reached out to me at all and she was just super spiteful at the end.

She was always the person to help me get nursed back to health, always made sure I went to the doctor, always pushed me to be better and healthier and just a better person in general. Like I said, none of her behavior made sense to me, it was the complete opposite of who I've known her to be for almost 3 years


--------------------
Lead by example, words mean little when your actions don't reflect what you say.

Spread kindness, love, empathy, compassion.

Learn from mistakes. Try and do better. Each day is a new day, try to make it a better one.

Coconut and Avocado is awesome for the skin.

MIND OVER MATTER

:mushroom2::lsd:


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Invisibler3volution.gurl
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Registered: 10/20/21
Posts: 6,250
Loc: Canada Flag
Re: Getting over someone important to you? [Re: TrancedOutBrah]
    #27892462 - 08/06/22 11:49 AM (1 year, 5 months ago)

Wow man that's insane. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

Not getting closure is going to bother you for sure.

Maybe if she gets a sane mind again hopefully you can get some closure because that is truly worst case scenario as far as breakups or breaks go.

As a woman I have my crazy moments due to unbalanced hormones. I PMS really bad. This though, sounds like something a lot more serious.


--------------------

"Souls love. Thats what souls do. Egos dont, but souls do. Become a soul, look around, and youll be amazed-all the beings around you are souls. Be one, see one. When many people have this heart connection, then we will know that we are all one, we human beings all over the planet. We will be one. One love. And dont leave out the animals, and trees, and clouds, and galaxies: its all one. Its one energy." -Ram Dass


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OfflineTrancedOutBrah
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Last seen: 1 day, 55 minutes
Re: Getting over someone important to you? [Re: r3volution.gurl]
    #27892529 - 08/06/22 01:06 PM (1 year, 5 months ago)

Well she ignored all attempts of me reaching out to her just to talk, even just talks about regarding the rental house we had because the lease was almost up anyway. My name wasn't even on the lease so it was kinda sketchy for me to be there with a bunch of drugs even though I was the one paying the rent for us

She did a bunch of spiteful things and she was just super angry. She had been on a new birth control and it honestly makes me wonder if the stress and high hormones caused some kind of psychotic meltdown. My mom has hyperthyroidism which caused her to have some psychotic freakouts when I was growing up and honestly it was a lot like what happened.

I dunno. It's just painful thinking about it because we were best friends in every way. All of this shit was super left field out of the blue.

I don't even know that I want closure anymore. I just wish I could move on and stop thinking about it and get on with my life. For the most part I'm fine but every now and then I'll just see something that triggers my memory of the shit and it just brings me back to a really negative mindstate

I just need to get out more and just do more shit. I really want a supportive partner back in my life because living life alone is pretty dull in comparison to have a really good partner who is basically your best friend.

The lack of really good sex is also a major bummer. :lol:


--------------------
Lead by example, words mean little when your actions don't reflect what you say.

Spread kindness, love, empathy, compassion.

Learn from mistakes. Try and do better. Each day is a new day, try to make it a better one.

Coconut and Avocado is awesome for the skin.

MIND OVER MATTER

:mushroom2::lsd:


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Anonymous #1

Re: Getting over someone important to you? [Re: BlueAndOrange]
    #27892902 - 08/06/22 07:31 PM (1 year, 5 months ago)

Quote:

BlueAndOrange said:
I wish you the best with this. As a survivor of the psychiatric industry who was once so depressed I was hospitalized, the things that got me off the meds and back into life (and I know this is easier said then done) was diet, exercise, sleep discipline, sunshine (vitamin D), and giving up all beverages except water, and drinking 1/2 gallon+ daily.

It’s hard work, especially when you’re depressed. Biggest changes came after giving up grain, sugar, and then processed food. Later improvements came from giving up caffeine. Definitely quit drinking and pot if you’re using them. Mushrooms are good though, but be careful while on serotonin meds.

Just my experience. YMMV.




Thank you :heart:
I have noticed I'm more anxious - I have anxiety already and drove dangerously on accident while anxious just now. I've been cutting out junk food for over half a year, long story but I feel so much better than before. I allow myself to eat junk food 3 days a week and I really need the sugar high nowadays.

I don't get too much exercise due to Daylight Savings but now the sun is setting later, I can start doing long walks as a coping mechanism for this guy which would also be exercise.


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OfflineBlueAndOrange
Psychedelic success story…
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Registered: 01/11/22
Posts: 1,076
Last seen: 9 hours, 36 minutes
Re: Getting over someone important to you? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27893118 - 08/06/22 11:32 PM (1 year, 5 months ago)

Long walks are great exercise. Walking 3 miles/day  will totally change you. Depending on your speed, that should be about an hour. 90 minutes if you’re slow. Less if your fast. If you can’t do 3 miles because you’re slow, walking an hour a day at whatever speed you can handle will up your stamina fast enough. 5 days pre week will do a lot too. Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good. 30 minutes 3 days/week is better than none.

The sugar is a nice short term fix, but long term it’s working against you. Again, don’t let perfect be the enemy of good. Starting by cutting back to 3 days per week is a good start. Try to keep lowering the amount a little each week. Just a little. Cut back by 10%/week.

Best of luck. Keep at it. Mushrooms are more effective than SSRIs.


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OfflineTrancedOutBrah
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Registered: 08/17/21
Posts: 1,303
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Re: Getting over someone important to you? [Re: BlueAndOrange]
    #27893131 - 08/07/22 12:04 AM (1 year, 5 months ago)

Walking is a great way to exercise and stretch the legs. It's probably the most underrated exercise.

If you're sedentary, it's the perfect way to start.

Getting outside in nature and getting some fresh air is always a good start.


--------------------
Lead by example, words mean little when your actions don't reflect what you say.

Spread kindness, love, empathy, compassion.

Learn from mistakes. Try and do better. Each day is a new day, try to make it a better one.

Coconut and Avocado is awesome for the skin.

MIND OVER MATTER

:mushroom2::lsd:


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Anonymous #1

Re: Getting over someone important to you? [Re: TrancedOutBrah] * 1
    #27895342 - 08/09/22 12:22 AM (1 year, 5 months ago)

Thanks guys, today I walked for an hour and it was good, I think I will do it again tomorrow.


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