Before I transcribe the trip report from a massive text my friend sent me let me give you a little back story: This friend of mine has never done drugs, smoked weed maybe twice when he was in college ~15 years ago and didn't like it, rarely drinks more than a few beers and is all around a very straight laced person. He's done a lot of research about psychedelics and has always been curious so about a year ago I gave him 3, 1g chocolates of middle of the road cubes. He ate one - nothing. The next day ate 2 - still nothing. So the next day, I gave him a 1.75g PE chocolate thinking that would do the trick and it did nothing. Yesterday he reached out and asked for another chocolate because his wife is out of town and he wanted to try it again. I gave him a 1.75g PE chocolate and 3.5g dried Yeti thinking that if the chocolate didn't work he could eat the full 3.5g Yeti another time. Well, for his first ever trip he went hard in the paint and consumed all 5.25g and this is the trip report that was sent to me:
"I've been looking into psychedelics for a long time. Reading, watching docs, trying to learn. I finally felt I had accumulated the knowledge and I went in. I was looking for answers to those questions that live at the periphery but never quite get fully vetted. Who am I? What am I? Why is this the way things are? All those things. I'm not a religious or even spiritual person at all. None of that stuff ever made any reasonable sense to me. So, I figured I'd try to investigate it for myself.
What happened was not at all what I expected. It began slowly. I would yawn and experience a wave of sound that felt like rushing water into my ears. This happened several times over, what I assume, was about an hours. After that ended, I began experiencing heavy geometric hallucinations. Everything took on a water, floaty texture. I felt light, almost weightless. The edges of everything became almost indistinguishable. Everything seemed to be flowing into one another. Then, something altogether different hit.
It was a full body shockwave. It felt incredible. Like pure ecstasy racing through every nerve in my body. Laughter spilled out in uncontrollable peals. Each quake sent me further down a rabbit hole. When I reached the bottom, I had, as best as I can describe it, fully dissociated with myself.
I wasn't anything. My hands ceased being my hands. They were hands. I could move them, but it seemed of little consequence that I did. The visual hallucinations went to a new level. Everything moved and flowed, in and out. Back and forth, undulating and coursing. I began to see great detail in everything I looked at The fibers of the couch were magnificent, swaying this way and that, as if guided by some unseen energy.
At this point, I became consciously aware that I had gone somewhere new. I wasn't where I started. Where I was didn't seem to matter. I remember saying that I was "on the other side."
I had a conversation with a light. It told me, "we are all beings of light." I laughed way too much at this and then denied it. I said, "No, we're not. That's ridiculous. We're flesh and blood. We're here. We're not light." That seemed a satisfactory end to the conversation. Then, the edge of a wall presented itself as "The Rules." I found this to be also utterly absurd. "Rules were made by people who need them. They're not for us.," I told the edge of the wall. It protested to some degree, but I remember dismissing it out of hand. I also became aware that I was using the term "us" a bunch. So, I decided to explore where that was coming from.
I (whoever I am in this phase) began to attempt to converse with the different parts of my brain. There were seven. All of them sort of avatars of me in some way. But it was nonsense. It was a small room and everyone was agreeing and disagreeing with one another simultaneously, talking all at the same tie. There was nothing to be gleaned, so I left.
The next part was an even further descent. The bottom of the rabbit hole. I thought I'd been there already, but there was another step down. It was a kind of madness. Not in a bad way. It's really difficult to describe this part because the dissociation was now extreme. It felt good, free. But it was also very nonsensical. As if everything was not only periphery. When I closed by eyes, neon tunnels opened and swirled before me. I felt very intoxicated. I've been blackout drunk before, and this was altogether another level. Many things happened that I don't fully recall or understand, but each was its own little episode. Time didn't mean anything. The episodes lasted lifetimes, but also were very short.
Suddenly, I snapped back to reality. I was back on my basement couch. Clear headed, no hallucinations. Don't worry, they came back.
At this point, I was about 6 hours into the journey. I wanted it to be over. I wanted to sleep. But each time I closed my eyes, fantastic pools of light and geometric patterns moved and danced. I was exhausted. But sleep would not come.
I put a movie on. Catch Me If You Can. No idea why that was the choice, but I can say it felt somehow grounded in reality. It distracted me long enough to ride out the rest of the trip.
You might be wanting to know, at this point, what answers I received. What I came to know and fully understand is that the answers I was seeking do not exist. There is no "why." There isn't actually anything down the rabbit hole except a disconnected, happy insanity. There's certainly no "ultimate truth" down there. I came away feeling that there is no great beyond. No mystical realm we can access. Whatever communion I had with these experiential manifestations were bullshit. They didn't mean anything, mostly because there is no deeper meaning.
I'm here. I'm alive. That's it. That's all there is. There's nothing beyond this, right here and now. Stripping away the layers just lays bare the vast nothingness. But it's not said, either. It's a revelation in its own way. Just try to be happy. That's all you've got and all you'll ever have.
To say I didn't learn anything is a stretch, but it's not far off. I came back feeling mostly the same as I did before. Only, I think I know what it must feel like to lose your sense of self. It's not enlightening, per se. It's just a thing.
If you've been curious about this, as I was, I'd say don't expect much. the feelings of full body pleasure were great. Maybe the best tactile feeling I've had in my entire life. But's not something I'd do again.
Thanks for enduring. Be happy."
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I 5318008 NOT a virgin!
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