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3 Go D3ath
Student Of Life


Registered: 01/21/20
Posts: 104
Loc: Earth
Last seen: 2 months, 13 days
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Mindfulness
#27808943 - 06/06/22 09:26 PM (1 year, 7 months ago) |
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I’ll start by saying that I have been in a relationship for a little over a year now. My girlfriend has been telling me for a while that I don’t pay attention. To her, my surroundings, any/everything really. I can’t say I disagree with her as I’m often stuck in my head and paying attention to most other things (that seem insignificant to me) doesn’t interest me.
She’s been asking me for a month or 2, to listen to a book on Audible about mindfulness. I’ve listened to about 20 minutes of it and honestly it bored the living shit out of me. It’s also written by a Buddhist, and although I have nothing against Buddhism, it’s really not my cup of tea.
I in turn get frustrated with her because I feel like she’s trying to force this upon me & change me. I’m open to change, I’m willing to do what’s necessary to learn & grow as a person, but I always push back when others try & get me to do what they want.
Basically I’m wondering how to practice mindfulness, or learn to get better at it without a Buddhist rambling on in a monotone voice. I’m open to any & all suggestions.
-------------------- We are the music makers, & we are the dreamers of the dreams...
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r3volution.gurl



Registered: 10/20/21
Posts: 6,250
Loc: Canada
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Alan Watts' lectures on YouTube are pretty good.
The Power of Now is a great book by Ekhart Tolle
I really enjoy this YouTube channel called After Skool. They illustrate tons of philosophers' and speaker's lectures to make it more visually interesting.
Are you distracted by something else or just don't feel the need pay attention?
I tend to be stuck in my head from time to time so I understand feeling unaware of surroundings.
Smartphone usage affects attention spans making someone prone to more distractions. Also unaware of time and their surroundings in their daily life.
Are you in your 20s 30s or 40s?
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  "Souls love. That’s what souls do. Egos don’t, but souls do. Become a soul, look around, and you’ll be amazed-all the beings around you are souls. Be one, see one. When many people have this heart connection, then we will know that we are all one, we human beings all over the planet. We will be one. One love. And don’t leave out the animals, and trees, and clouds, and galaxies: it’s all one. It’s one energy." -Ram Dass
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3 Go D3ath
Student Of Life


Registered: 01/21/20
Posts: 104
Loc: Earth
Last seen: 2 months, 13 days
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I’m somewhat distracted by the things that don’t seem to be going right in life. It’s just easier to zone out and not think about anything than it is to focus on life’s problems. & I am 39.
I’ll definitely look into the suggestions you made, thanks for your input. 👍
-------------------- We are the music makers, & we are the dreamers of the dreams...
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syncro
Registered: 01/14/15
Posts: 2,697
Last seen: 1 hour, 25 minutes
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Mindfulness is wakeful observation. It could be of the breathing, sensations and movement, things in nature, things on the wall. It could be observation of wakefulness itself, of mind without division or conceptualization. Meditation can be a form of mindfulness, as we may focus objects of concentration, the breathing, a mantra or prayer, locations in the body. For some, deep silence, non-movement of thought, is the object. It refines in depths, and can become spontaneous or natural.
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RJ Tubs 202



Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,010
Loc: USA
Last seen: 1 day, 5 hours
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Quote:
Jakenew101 said:
My girlfriend has been telling me for a while that I don’t pay attention.
The mind tends to bounce around and engage in 3 different modes. Ruminating about the past, noticing what is actually going on at the present moment, and anticipating the future. If your girlfriend wants you to change, she may want to feel more "seen" by you. The word "seen" meaning that maybe you listen a bit more closely to her or pay more attention to her. Of course I don't know the situation so I'm guessing. You could ask her. She'd likely appreciate that. Asking people about what they care about is usually very meaningful.
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