|
 Rache2020
Stranger
Registered: 10/18/20
Posts: 315
Last seen: 2 months, 5 days
|
|
I live in the UK. None of my friends have guns or have to worry about their kids being massacred in school. No teenager here is gonna have access to a gun unless their dad is very negligent in leaving his shotgun for hunting laying around. It doesn't happen, we have very strict gun laws.
None of that changes the fact this awful situation has already happened and kids are gonna have trauma and PTSD. It's not just about me it's about how we can make everyone's lives less traumatic.
|
 redgreenvines
irregular verb
Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 38,173
|
 Re: Memories being wrong  [Re: Rache2020]
#27792419 - 05/25/22 02:14 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
|
|
so your wish is to scrub other people's minds, or to propose that I figure out a way to edit their memories which I think is not exactly possible, so I cannot be motivated.
--------------------
 _  🧠_ 
|
Rache2020
Stranger
Registered: 10/18/20
Posts: 315
Last seen: 2 months, 5 days
|
|
No but you won't even entertain the idea in theory because you seem to think it'd be an exclusively negative thing and we all have to learn to live with trauma.
I don't have any say over other peoples minds, I'm just proposing if such a thing were possible it'd be a good thing to have the choice. I expect it'd have to be done under strict conditions and obviously the person in question would have to agree to it. It'd be some sort of therapy. We have medications to rid people of their psychotic delusions for a start.
Edited by Rache2020 (05/25/22 03:11 PM)
|
redgreenvines
irregular verb
Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 38,173
|
Re: Memories being wrong [Re: Rache2020]
#27792693 - 05/25/22 06:16 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
|
|
sure, lots of times i say I wish I didn't see that - which sounds coy if you use the right timing,
but I never think about erasing my mind, just minimizing my revulsion.
while retelling my life story I edit for the listener as suits the situation.
--------------------
_ 🧠_
|
Rache2020
Stranger
Registered: 10/18/20
Posts: 315
Last seen: 2 months, 5 days
|
|
Well it depends on what you've seen, I'm not going to pry. You are lucky if you never thought about erasing any of it.
My dad died of cancer, it took 8 years to get over it. I could've done with having my mind wiped of the suffering he went through. Absolutely no need for that to be the lasting memory. Since they won't let people die peacefully, at least let the ones who are left not have to keep picturing the last weeks/days whatever. My life was ruined ever since then. I'm a worse person for having those memories, bitter, resentful etc. (can you tell?!)
I was attacked by our pet dog as a child, I don't remember it because I was too young. I don't need to remember it, I'm better for not being able to remember it. I don't see why it wouldn't be better as an adult not to have memories like that. People turn to addiction to try and block things out. Making people into drug addicts and alcoholics because they can't live with something is not a good way to live. This world is screwed up because of all the trauma people have to go through.
|
redgreenvines
irregular verb
Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 38,173
|
Re: Memories being wrong [Re: Rache2020]
#27793623 - 05/26/22 11:43 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
|
|
well you cannot blot out 8 yrs of cancer debilitation, but you can revel in the memories of the years before that, and when some cancer stuf comes up keep relaxed, let relaxing and calming down be the only response to cancer, debilitation, or anything specific about your dad dying.
instead you can bring his living memories to life and enjoy them.
In any life we are all attacked by dogs and lose our parents in various ways, me - I was crippled for 3 years at 3.5 years old till grade one - it leaves a lasting impression, but it is not the only thing from that time, and though I wore a brace and went to a special school and was not permitted to play, I wear it with no resentment.
It is not necessary to compare wounds, ailments, or how bad your child hood was https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_Yorkshiremen_sketch
though it can be amazing fun too.
In any case, this is really all I can say about your black hole of deep suffering that no one can escape, do'nt go there, and if you find yourself there, relax, it will pass.
--------------------
_ 🧠_
|
Rache2020
Stranger
Registered: 10/18/20
Posts: 315
Last seen: 2 months, 5 days
|
|
Ironically I can't really remember that much from before he was ill. I've forgotten him. He wasn't ill for 8 years (well technically he was but we didn't know) I meant that's how long it took me to get over his death. Time heals and all that, but I really didn't have 8 years to spare of my life to get over it! I only need to block out a few especially terrible things but it's a bit late now anyway. But I'd take it if someone was offering an amnesia pill!
I had a good childhood except that one event, my point is I don't remember being attacked by the dog. I loved that dog, I cried when it died. If I had remembered being bitten by it I probably would've been terrified of it. Because I don't remember I had no trauma around it-see how easy that is? Why can't all life be that easy? Maybe easy is the wrong word, I don't expect an "easy" life I just think we can make it far less unpleasant.
I'm surprised you remember so much from when you were that young. Sounds like a horrible experience-I would think there are probably certain aspects you don't remember though due to childhood amnesia and again I think that's a good thing.
Good advice there I'll try it. Some people are just more prone to rumination than others though. I get the feeling you are a very practical, down to earth guy with a lot of willpower who remains unaffected by most things. Not so easy for some of us.
|
redgreenvines
irregular verb
Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 38,173
|
Re: Memories being wrong [Re: Rache2020]
#27794196 - 05/26/22 06:54 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
|
|
deeply affected, but
lucky to have the time to be active here
--------------------
_ 🧠_
|
nooneman
Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 14,700
Loc: Utah
|
Re: Memories being wrong [Re: Rache2020]
#27794545 - 05/27/22 12:18 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Erasing memories would be a mistake, it sucks not being able to remember things, even bad things.
Those memories make us who we are, and without them, we lose a part of ourselves too. That sounds very abstract and BS unless you've actually lost memory, and then it's very real and very shitty.
Also those things still affect you, you just can't remember them. They still happened, but now you have no idea what they are. From the worst things in life, we grow and change and erasing that erases a lot more with it, it changes who someone is.
Our past is affected by the bad things that happened further in our past, and if we lose the bad things that happened, then we lose the connection as well to why we did certain things or why we felt a certain way. It can change how you act, and that changes your relationships with other people, you become someone else, and your motives for past actions become hazy which further disconnects you from yourself and your identity.
|
sudly
Quasar Praiser
Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 11,369
|
Re: Memories being wrong [Re: Rache2020]
#27794577 - 05/27/22 01:45 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Yeah man, might sound like a cliche but I prefer being honest with myself and I try to express when I don't have a clear memory of something.
I say I think, I say I might not be right about that, that maybe I'm right about something but I can't remember for sure etc.
Some things I'm pretty confident about remembering like a species of bird or their specific species bound behaviours.
I feel like I at least can remember whether my memory on a certain topic or situation has a solid foundation.
Idk it's like I think there's some sort of foundation to my memories. I don't intend to speak for others and I'm just spouting my 2c atm but I think I have memory relative to what I have remembered.
Or I think that I remember the times I've remembered things and reflecting on that I think helps lean me towards being honest with myself and others.
Sometimes topics are personal and I think that I can choose to omit certain personal details that paint a framed picture.
It's like I can choose my own sort of Overton window and remember where I am within it.
As I've grown I think I've become somewhat more competent and confident in my choices.
So I think that our memories are as accurate as we choose them to be, and that we have the capability and potential to frame and relate our memories to real experiences, information and details.
I think that I can relate my subjective memories to infer their accuracy through a process or form of objective relativity, or relating subjective memories objectively, to inform me on the accuracy of my memories.
And so I can decide upon the accuracy of my memories in my opinion.
--------------------
I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
Edited by sudly (05/27/22 02:19 AM)
|
Rache2020
Stranger
Registered: 10/18/20
Posts: 315
Last seen: 2 months, 5 days
|
Re: Memories being wrong [Re: nooneman]
#27796295 - 05/28/22 10:15 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
nooneman said:
Erasing memories would be a mistake, it sucks not being able to remember things, even bad things.
Those memories make us who we are, and without them, we lose a part of ourselves too. That sounds very abstract and BS unless you've actually lost memory, and then it's very real and very shitty.
Also those things still affect you, you just can't remember them. They still happened, but now you have no idea what they are. From the worst things in life, we grow and change and erasing that erases a lot more with it, it changes who someone is.
Our past is affected by the bad things that happened further in our past, and if we lose the bad things that happened, then we lose the connection as well to why we did certain things or why we felt a certain way. It can change how you act, and that changes your relationships with other people, you become someone else, and your motives for past actions become hazy which further disconnects you from yourself and your identity.
I'm not saying erase huge parts of memory. As I said before, a person who gets in a high speed car crash doesn't remember the impact-I don't think they are missing out by not remembering hitting a tree at 80mph. The brain does protect you from things sometimes. You can still know you had a car crash and not remember all the specific details around it.
How can you be affected by something you can't remember? It comes up quite a lot and I'm genuinely curious how anyone can know? Do you have any sources for that.
I also think peoples views might change when it comes to other people. It's alright saying you can get over a bad thing happening to yourself, but what about others? If your kid had been in a lot of pain wouldn't you not want them to remember it later on? They say a parent would take all their kids pain away if they could, although I don't know how true that is seeing as most people seem to think pain is something kids need to go through.
Kids don't remember most of their childhood anyway, do you think childhood amnesia is a bad thing? Should a kid be able to remember most of what happened when they were 3 years old?
|
redgreenvines
irregular verb
Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 38,173
|
Re: Memories being wrong [Re: Rache2020]
#27796453 - 05/28/22 01:04 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
|
|
well if you can remember how it was to be a three year old, probably the thoughts racing around in your brain at that time were mostly non-verbal and largely related to being one of the smallest people in every situation. The positions you sat in, (high chair, crib, car seat, floor, being carried) and your limited freedoms and access to your toys and books also represents something that is way different in adulthood - so you may have few sensory cues in your adult form that will create perceptive reflexes that pertain to being 3 yrs old or younger.
but if you work it, you may gain access to some interesting stuff.
it is not so much about how long ago it was, but what else you were doing, how that felt and how things feel now. if things do not feel similar in some way, then the memories remain inaccessible.
--------------------
_ 🧠_
|
sudly
Quasar Praiser
Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 11,369
|
Re: Memories being wrong [Re: Rache2020]
#27796494 - 05/28/22 02:00 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
|
|
I don't remember much clearly before I was 9 maybe, bits and bobs before then.
I can't speak for kids, but I think adults can learn from pain to build better boundaries and to be able to realise dangers or risks in physical, emotional and relationship situations.
Trauma is one we can learn from, but in being trauma I don't think it's almost possible to forget, just that they fade slowly reminisced to understanding. But f, the process of understanding trauma can probably be more painful sometimes so there's that!
--------------------
I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
|
Rache2020
Stranger
Registered: 10/18/20
Posts: 315
Last seen: 2 months, 5 days
|
Re: Memories being wrong [Re: sudly]
#27798819 - 05/30/22 09:28 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
|
|
@redgreenvines Great insight, hadn't thought of it like that before.
@sudly yeh I don't remember much before that age either. I have friends who lost a parent at like 8 and they barely remember them. That just blows my mind that you spend your entire early years with your parents (except when in school) and if they die young you won't even remember hardly any of it or them.
|
RJ Tubs 202
Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,175
Loc: USA 
Last seen: 6 days, 1 hour
|
Re: Memories being wrong [Re: Rache2020]
#27798841 - 05/30/22 09:45 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
|
|
My mother died when I was 18 months old. When I look at a photo of her, she appears familiar to me. I think it's the look in her eyes. And her smile. Probably something that will always be with me. I wish I could hear a recording of her voice. I'd love to hear that.
|
Rache2020
Stranger
Registered: 10/18/20
Posts: 315
Last seen: 2 months, 5 days
|
|
Quote:
but if you work it, you may gain access to some interesting stuff.
If you have any tips I'd love to hear about it-I know you touched on it before in another thread, it was either hypnosis or regression right? Is it something you think someone can do by themselves? My memory seems especially bad, I need to regress to remember even 80% of my life as a 17 year old and it wasn't that long ago...
Quote:
My mother died when I was 18 months old. When I look at a photo of her, she appears familiar to me. I think it's the look in her eyes. And her smile. Probably something that will always be with me. I wish I could hear a recording of her voice. I'd love to hear that.
I get a lot of comfort from watching old home movies and seeing my family again-probably not a great thing to look so much into the past but it's helping me right now. Sorry about your mother, it's a shame you have no voice recordings. I'm not surprised she seems familiar even though you don't consciously remember her.
|
Tulipslave
Homo sapiens sapiens, lol
Registered: 07/25/17
Posts: 11,743
|
Re: Memories being wrong [Re: Rache2020]
#27806051 - 06/04/22 07:05 PM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Rache2020 said:
Ever had that? I used to keep a diary and read it back once and was so surprised I'd written about something in it I didn't think I knew at the time. Couldn't believe it. How accurate are our memories? I know there was a scene from a film I remembered really well but hadn't watched it for years. When I watched it again I had the scene right but the perspective and camera angle was completely different to what I had remembered. Can we even trust our memories? What about manipulating them?
Do you think we should be able to block painful memories? I would support that, I think life would be much better. I know everyone says you have to learn from the bad and that suppressing something is worse but I don't agree. Imagine a war veteran not having to live with PTSD or a drug addict (or any addict) being able to forget what it feels like to be addicted and wasting their life. Would that make life too easy though?
Quote:
Rache2020 said:
Ever had that? I used to keep a diary and read it back once and was so surprised I'd written about something in it I didn't think I knew at the time. Couldn't believe it. How accurate are our memories? I know there was a scene from a film I remembered really well but hadn't watched it for years. When I watched it again I had the scene right but the perspective and camera angle was completely different to what I had remembered. Can we even trust our memories? What about manipulating them?
Do you think we should be able to block painful memories? I would support that, I think life would be much better. I know everyone says you have to learn from the bad and that suppressing something is worse but I don't agree. Imagine a war veteran not having to live with PTSD or a drug addict (or any addict) being able to forget what it feels like to be addicted and wasting their life. Would that make life too easy though?
There's research out there with some results showing that memory is often wrong.
Your brain isn't always your friend.
|
redgreenvines
irregular verb
Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 38,173
|
Re: Memories being wrong [Re: Tulipslave]
#27806544 - 06/05/22 04:42 AM (1 year, 10 months ago) |
|
|
your brain is totally your best friend.
basically it is a familiarity machine.
in the heat of the moment you can remember and write so many things that pertain to what you are feeling.
after that moment, you will be in another moment, so many other things to write down.
all real, all intense, most soon forgotten, but still part of the familiar framework of perception.
--------------------
_ 🧠_
|
|
Threaded
Previous
Index
Next
Bulk Cannabis Seeds 
Red Vein Kratom 
North Spore Mushroom Grow Kits & Cultivation Supplies
Edit 
Reply 
1 2 all )
OldWoodSpecter
eMotionALLmotion
Dead Shaman
question_for_joo
Swami
ChubbSubb
lucid