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Invisiblemetalfaith
Moron
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Registered: 03/30/11
Posts: 1,842
Loc: FL
Faking Drug Tests * 1
    #27045369 - 11/18/20 11:16 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Folks, can we discuss how silly drug tests are and how easily faked they are?

Tell stories of when you faked one and how you did it. Bonus points if you almost got caught.

I have heard fake pee works and I think I plan to use it soon on an upcoming drug test. Stories? Advice?


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OfflineschmutzenS
King of the side-pins
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Re: Faking Drug Tests [Re: metalfaith]
    #27045448 - 11/18/20 12:08 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Elmer's Glue bottle with an o-ring for additional leak prevention concealed in a double layer of tight boxers.  Was worried it would be spotted during hernia check, luckily no cough test that day.


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"Blow up your TV, throw away your paper.  Go to the country, build you a home."


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OfflineGrungeman17
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Registered: 05/06/09
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Re: Faking Drug Tests [Re: schmutzen]
    #27045579 - 11/18/20 01:46 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

I'll help you out one time, if you cant get real human clean piss, the synthetic bottled urine on the shelf is 99.9% outdated and what you need is the powdered form of synthetic urine called "quick fix" that gets made up the day of. Thats all I got.


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Offlinesearching
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Registered: 06/08/11
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Re: Faking Drug Tests [Re: Grungeman17]
    #27046099 - 11/18/20 06:39 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

I'll tell you a good one. I faked a drug test to get this job years ago. A friend pissed in a bottle right outside the drug test place and I put it in a travel shampoo bottle in my underwear. Worked like a charm and I got the job. But that's not the close call part...

I kept smoking weed daily for a couple of years at the job and one day HR came up and told me I was selected for a random drug test. She said to go down to the room at the end of the hall but I could finish what I was doing first. I had a moment of panic but I went to get my fake piss from my car. I microwaved the fake piss in the lunch room to get it up to temperature! Luckily no one walked in. I then found a roll of duct tape and taped it to my leg in the bathroom. I went in, ripped the duct tape off along with my leg hair which was painful, poured it into the cup and passed. Crisis averted.

I kept smoking for like 2 years more while working there like a dumbass and got word that random drug tests were happening again one day. This time my synthetic pee was at home. I took an early lunch, went home, warmed up the fake pee bottle, and taped it to my leg, and went back to work. My friend got selected but I didn't. I kept the pee on me just to be sure because I was sweating bullets. I was sitting at my desk and felt a wetness sensation in my pants. I went to the bathroom to check for leaks and didn't see anything really. So I continued my day and felt more wetness. Went to the bathroom again with a plastic bag planning on sealing the pee bottle inside. There was definitely a small leak any my pants were damp in the Gooch area! Not good. So now I'm walking around with a pee spot on my pants and the plastic bag is making noise when I walk like I'm wearing fucking adult diapers. I must have gone to the bathroom 6 times after lunch checking for leaks. I never ended up getting tested that day, but it was hell.

These days I just quit for a month before getting a new job. It's less anxiety I think. Although one time I quit for like 40 fucking days and still failed a drug test for a job at Amazon. I like to think I dodged a bullet there anyway. At my new job they told me I would likely never get drug tested again unless I got hurt. I still only smoke weed occasionally because I don't ever want to go through that bullshit again. I still like weed though and wish it was just legal here so I couldn't get fired for it. Fuck drug tests I hate it all with a passion. Just let me live my life goddammit.


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InvisibleDemonic_Chronic
The Plague Doctress
Trans-female


Registered: 08/10/08
Posts: 4,199
Loc: PNW Flag
Re: Faking Drug Tests [Re: searching]
    #27046253 - 11/18/20 07:34 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Trying to fake drug tests, especially for legal reason (probation, parole etc) never works out in the long run unfortunately.. That being said, simple dip sticks can be fooled with fake piss, dilution, and simple abstinence is your 100% sure fire way. not to be that person lol.


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The Real violence, the violence that I realized was unforgiveable
Is the violence that we do to ourselves
When we are too afraid to be, who we really are.


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OfflineRegan
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Registered: 03/16/22
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Re: Faking Drug Tests [Re: Demonic_Chronic]
    #27769635 - 05/09/22 10:25 AM (1 year, 9 months ago)

Never did this before. Has anybody managed?


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Invisibleseldom seen
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Registered: 11/03/07
Posts: 1,033
Re: Faking Drug Tests [Re: Regan]
    #27769828 - 05/09/22 01:47 PM (1 year, 9 months ago)

I've used the "vail" type cleanse, fake pee, and a friend's pee all with equally passing results. 

When using my friend's pee I actually used a day to take random temperature samples of my grundel to ensure it was warm enough to keep the pee at temp.  It was.


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OfflineMeaux Da Fun Guy
Clone Wars
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Registered: 10/26/21
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Re: Faking Drug Tests [Re: metalfaith]
    #27769971 - 05/09/22 03:33 PM (1 year, 9 months ago)

Make sure to take the pour spout off the bottle it will make a loud sucking noise about half way through pour.


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InvisibleCapSlinger
Male

Registered: 05/17/11
Posts: 1,003
Loc: Colorado rocky mountain high Flag
Re: Faking Drug Tests [Re: Meaux Da Fun Guy]
    #27769988 - 05/09/22 03:46 PM (1 year, 9 months ago)

:takingnotes:


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OfflineNorthernerM
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Re: Faking Drug Tests [Re: CapSlinger]
    #27770221 - 05/09/22 06:25 PM (1 year, 9 months ago)

They do saliva swab tests at my work. It's rare that I'd actually take a drug that would show up on a test, less than once a year. But one time after a weekend long amphetamine bender I finished it off with benzos so I could sleep a while, then went to work maybe 6 hours later and got Murphy's Law got randomly tested.
Rinsed my mouth with mouthwash, brushed all of it, every part of my mouth with a shitload of carbon toothpaste and then rinsed again with mouthwash. My mouth went completely dry. Took a sip of water just before I walked in so there'd be enough moisture for a sample. So stressful sat there waiting to find out I had passed... 10 hours earlier I'd been doing lines and eating pills. :tongue:


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The nearest we ever come to knowing truth is when we are witness to paradox.


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OfflineSugabearcrisp
Not Your Average Bear
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Registered: 10/14/19
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Re: Faking Drug Tests [Re: Northerner]
    #27770306 - 05/09/22 07:29 PM (1 year, 9 months ago)

When I was changing jobs to my current employer and was expecting an offer it occurred to me that I should google the employer and I found out they do pre-employement screens.
In a panic i did some research and ordered a kit from a popular site, paid for overnight shipping and got it the next day. The fedex guy literally handed it to me along with the offer letter which I had to sign for. The offer stated I had 48 hours to complete the drug screen and listed a couple choices of testing facilities. I did some searching and couldn't really find any reviews so I picked the one in the most high class area.

The kit was a flat bag like an IV drip bag but smaller with a clear tube and a little clamp thing to start stop the flow along with a hand warming pad to heat and hold the urine at temp.

I taped tbe pee bag to my stomach and carefully taped the tube under me penis with clear medical tape. I then practiced releasing the clamp with one hand a few times with the bag side clamped.

With a 20 minute drive I taped on the heatpad and headed to the testing spot. The registered me and called me in back. I was handed a cup and told to go into the bathroom but leave the door open and provide my sample while the attendee sat outside.

My practice paid off as i was able to easily release the flow into the cup and then let the rest go into the toilet.

Passed and still working there 15 years later.

I also cheated on a piss test for life insurance 20 years ago but that was easy as they came to my house and I was just able to stash a clean sample with a heating pad in the bathroom and pour it into the cup.


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OfflinePainkiller
shaman
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Registered: 10/08/15
Posts: 1,060
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
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Re: Faking Drug Tests [Re: metalfaith]
    #27770328 - 05/09/22 07:46 PM (1 year, 9 months ago)

I remember reading that putting some bleach in a urine sample would make the drugs undetectable.

Here's an article on the topic you may enjoy.


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OfflineNorthernerM
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Re: Faking Drug Tests [Re: Painkiller]
    #27770358 - 05/09/22 08:17 PM (1 year, 9 months ago)

You'd have to be pretty dumb or desperate to think putting bleach in the sample would work.


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The nearest we ever come to knowing truth is when we are witness to paradox.


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OfflinePainkiller
shaman
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Re: Faking Drug Tests [Re: Northerner]
    #27770374 - 05/09/22 08:32 PM (1 year, 9 months ago)

I just read it one time. I've never tried it so I can't say for sure if it works or not.


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Invisibletr20josh
Boomer
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Registered: 06/05/10
Posts: 494
Re: Faking Drug Tests [Re: Painkiller]
    #27770848 - 05/10/22 08:10 AM (1 year, 9 months ago)

When I was on federal probation 8-9 years ago, I was routinely using a pissinator (whizzinator knockoff) to fake drug tests. I was on a color system that I had to call daily to find out if I had to go into a local substance abuse treatment facility to test. I occasionally used synthetic urine but usually used my own pee that I had frozen before I started smoking again.

Eventually I did get caught because I was diluting my frozen pee with distilled water to make it last longer so I wouldn't have to stop smoking again to collect more, since it was a lot harder to get synthetic urine in those days. I over-diluted once and had to go into the probation office to re-test. I wasn't willing to risk the pissinator considering the metal detectors and heightened scrutiny so I went in and failed.

I was then given a choice between drug court or going to a medium security BOP facility. The obvious choice meant that I was legitimately clean (except for one mushroom trip) for the next year after that.

Employment tests are stupidly easy though. I find the single shot bottles of Fireball have plenty of surface area to keep fluid at body temp and hold just the right amount. Now that I have a medical card though, this is no longer a problem.


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Invisiblemetalfaith
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Registered: 03/30/11
Posts: 1,842
Loc: FL
Re: Faking Drug Tests [Re: Regan]
    #27771013 - 05/10/22 10:55 AM (1 year, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Regan said:
Never did this before. Has anybody managed?



Yes I've done it now multiple times in the past.

Get drug-free urine, preferably within 24 hours of the test. Keep cool in the fridge until 2-3 hours prior to test. Tape to leg inside boxers for 2-3 hours prior to test.

You could test run with a bottle of water to ensure the temperature is correct prior to using it, but I didn't.

Best is if you can get someone to pee like 1-2 hours prior to test, then bottle and use that.

Definite No-Nos:
1. Don't ever add anything to the urine. Even distilled water. If you can't get real drug-free urine, get the synthetic urine. QuickFix seems to have a long lasting reputation for being the standard for this. Get the newest version if you must. It also works fine.

2. Do not let urine sit at room temperature for more than a few hours. Urine can degrade and change smell quickly. This is a clear red flag. Really urine never smells old.

3. Don't leave urine in fridge for over 24 hours. Freeze it if you must.

4. Don't overcomplicate this. It works. Take a low-dose beta blocker like propranolol if you can't keep your nerves under control.

5. Don't get sloppy with attaching it to your leg. Use whatever you need to be absolutely certain you can take it out quickly and put it back just as quickly. They often time you.

Definitely do know what the standard is for your test; i.e. will they just put you in a room with the door locked? Will they watch from across the room? Will they want to touch to dick and taste the pee? Lol

This is the post I was hoping for when I posted this thread originally.


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