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Offlinegopher
Coffee Bean Extraordinaire
I'm a teapot


Registered: 11/22/17
Posts: 12,990
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Last seen: 14 hours, 36 minutes
How do you change your thinking?
    #27740123 - 04/18/22 12:19 PM (1 year, 9 months ago)

Most of us has thinking at times that dosnt serve us, I have thinking that can lead me into addiction

How do I change my thinking so that what now would be an immediate thought seeing something is a different thought

I tried for a month whenever I had a unwanted thought come into my mind repeating "thought crime" over and over till it left and a different thought came, but it wasn't very effective


--------------------
For most of the normies out there, an operating system is just a bootloader for Google Chrome.

Since Disney has obtained tremendous value from the public domain, knows how important the public domain is, and is firmly determined to never contribute anything to it.

My pronouns are He and Him, and my adjectives are Fat and Jazzy

:kratom:


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Anonymous #1

Re: How do you change your thinking? [Re: gopher]
    #27740130 - 04/18/22 12:26 PM (1 year, 9 months ago)

It will be situational. The important part is maintaining a conscious connection to these thought processes and halting them. Mindfulness practice. Another form would be the suggestion some depressed people get, to say nice things in to the mirror. When you have control, use it. That's all you can really do. As for someone like you you're probably going to be prone to thought loops, so I think as long as your relationship with the world around you seems healthy, it probably is. Think less when you do, and when you don't, think more.


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Offlineanatomality
Nothern Counterpart
I'm a teapot


Registered: 05/31/20
Posts: 1,354
Loc: North East
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Re: How do you change your thinking? [Re: gopher] * 1
    #27740132 - 04/18/22 12:27 PM (1 year, 9 months ago)

By not identifying with your own ideas.
They flow through, you watch them. Feelings and ideas come and go, they aren't necessarily true or even valuable. Distance, calm and perspective.

Never be convinced of anything, argue opposing point of views for fun.

Exercise. Practice.


--------------------
“The strength of a person's spirit would then be measured by how much 'truth' he could tolerate, or more precisely, to what extent he needs to have it diluted, disguised, sweetened, muted, falsified.”


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InvisibleHartford
Lawful Good
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Registered: 11/27/19
Posts: 1,106
Loc: Tennessee
Re: How do you change your thinking? [Re: anatomality]
    #27740140 - 04/18/22 12:36 PM (1 year, 9 months ago)

"By consent of my own free will, I reject (this thought, that thought, suicide, murder, insanity, etc.)."


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Anonymous #2

Re: How do you change your thinking? [Re: Hartford]
    #27740181 - 04/18/22 01:03 PM (1 year, 9 months ago)

You just lead your mind to another train of thought by changing what your senses are on.
But to do that you need awareness of the moment & the ability to remember to do the above when the time comes.


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OfflineTrancedOutBrah
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Re: How do you change your thinking? [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #27740579 - 04/18/22 04:59 PM (1 year, 9 months ago)

I can't speak for others but I will explain to you how I went from a very anxious, depressed young man into a man brimming with energy, confidence and a new drive for life that I can't even begin to describe with words. I got help, I pushed myself physically and mentally with exercise, work, school, I got out of my comfort zone and got myself a girlfriend (now my fiancée!!!). You can't be comfortable. If you are comfortable, are you really living life? Push yourself, push your mind, push your body. You can rest when you're dead homie. Live life man.

First and foremost, get help. If you know you need help, get it. There's people to talk to, services, friends, family, whatever. Shit, you can PM me and we can talk it out, I don't give a fuck. I know what it's like to want to die, to feel so much pain that death would have been the more preferable option, that there are fates worse than death itself. I've been there. I know man. That shit sucks.

Addiction is a fickle thing, it sneaks up on you, nobody thinks they are going to be a weed addict, an MDMA addict, an alcoholic, an opiate abuser and get dope sick, nobody thinks about how taking xanax/klono/valium/G can seriously fuck up your shit long term if you don't regulate it seriously. Especially GABA drugs, you can DIE from withdrawals, at least with heroin you just feel like shit/sick, but you can DIE from alcohol withdrawals, you can DIE from benzos.

If you know you got an addictive personality.... just don't. Stay away.

I can't do painkillers. I got shot up in the hospital with Opena and I went from wanting to die to the most blissful mind state I've ever been. I'll never touch an opiate again because I'm scared what I might do for that feeling.

Like I said... get help, communicate, be truthful to yourself. You can lie to others... but you can't lie to yourself.


--------------------
Lead by example, words mean little when your actions don't reflect what you say.

Spread kindness, love, empathy, compassion.

Learn from mistakes. Try and do better. Each day is a new day, try to make it a better one.

Coconut and Avocado is awesome for the skin.

MIND OVER MATTER

:mushroom2::lsd:


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Offlinegopher
Coffee Bean Extraordinaire
I'm a teapot


Registered: 11/22/17
Posts: 12,990
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 14 hours, 36 minutes
Re: How do you change your thinking? [Re: TrancedOutBrah]
    #27740773 - 04/18/22 06:50 PM (1 year, 9 months ago)

Shit I was wondering why everyone was bringing up drugs than I realized I used the word addiction

To be 100% specific Imeant sexualal thoughts, like the woman I'm working on this project with has a nice ass or sexy voice.

Instead I want to think thoughts like she does a good job or kind heart

Basically I need to tone down my fantasy and intrigue


--------------------
For most of the normies out there, an operating system is just a bootloader for Google Chrome.

Since Disney has obtained tremendous value from the public domain, knows how important the public domain is, and is firmly determined to never contribute anything to it.

My pronouns are He and Him, and my adjectives are Fat and Jazzy

:kratom:


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OfflineTrancedOutBrah
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Re: How do you change your thinking? [Re: gopher]
    #27740796 - 04/18/22 07:04 PM (1 year, 9 months ago)

Stop watching so much porn. Stop thinking and start talking to her. Focus on the project at hand. Take interest in who she is as person, ask what she likes, ask what makes her tick, whatever the conversation is at the time and where it goes.

Good luck man, socializing can be hard as fuck sometimes, especially with someone you think you might like but don't know much about them.

And honestly? If you can't help but fantasize, masturbate before you go to work/school/whatever. I bet that'll calm down at least 80% of your thoughts :shrug:


--------------------
Lead by example, words mean little when your actions don't reflect what you say.

Spread kindness, love, empathy, compassion.

Learn from mistakes. Try and do better. Each day is a new day, try to make it a better one.

Coconut and Avocado is awesome for the skin.

MIND OVER MATTER

:mushroom2::lsd:


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Offlineanatomality
Nothern Counterpart
I'm a teapot


Registered: 05/31/20
Posts: 1,354
Loc: North East
Last seen: 2 days, 4 hours
Re: How do you change your thinking? [Re: TrancedOutBrah]
    #27740837 - 04/18/22 07:28 PM (1 year, 9 months ago)

I think repressing is the opposite of what you want. You have to make peace with your shadow desires.

The unconscious dark parts must be integrated.
I mean, it's ok to think about sex.


--------------------
“The strength of a person's spirit would then be measured by how much 'truth' he could tolerate, or more precisely, to what extent he needs to have it diluted, disguised, sweetened, muted, falsified.”


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Offlinegopher
Coffee Bean Extraordinaire
I'm a teapot


Registered: 11/22/17
Posts: 12,990
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 14 hours, 36 minutes
Re: How do you change your thinking? [Re: TrancedOutBrah]
    #27740838 - 04/18/22 07:31 PM (1 year, 9 months ago)

I set my AA app for the last time I masterbated to porn
.



--------------------
For most of the normies out there, an operating system is just a bootloader for Google Chrome.

Since Disney has obtained tremendous value from the public domain, knows how important the public domain is, and is firmly determined to never contribute anything to it.

My pronouns are He and Him, and my adjectives are Fat and Jazzy

:kratom:


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Offlinegopher
Coffee Bean Extraordinaire
I'm a teapot


Registered: 11/22/17
Posts: 12,990
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 14 hours, 36 minutes
Re: How do you change your thinking? [Re: anatomality]
    #27740843 - 04/18/22 07:34 PM (1 year, 9 months ago)

Quote:

anatomality said:
I think repressing is the opposite of what you want. You have to make peace with your shadow desires.

The unconscious dark parts must be integrated.
I mean, it's ok to think about sex.





These thoughts are my trigger to relapsing on porn and masterbation

I had like 3 or 4 months and thoughts like this made me masterbated to porn and I couldn't stop for months I'd say I would stop and keep doing it


--------------------
For most of the normies out there, an operating system is just a bootloader for Google Chrome.

Since Disney has obtained tremendous value from the public domain, knows how important the public domain is, and is firmly determined to never contribute anything to it.

My pronouns are He and Him, and my adjectives are Fat and Jazzy

:kratom:


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Invisibler3volution.gurl
Female User Gallery


Registered: 10/20/21
Posts: 6,250
Loc: Canada Flag
Re: How do you change your thinking? [Re: gopher]
    #27740974 - 04/18/22 08:30 PM (1 year, 9 months ago)

Majority of addiction, no matter what, is based on having a problem and using to achieve a temporary solution.

What would you say you believe the root problem of the porn/masturbating addiction is? Besides the thoughts you mentioned.


--------------------

"Souls love. Thats what souls do. Egos dont, but souls do. Become a soul, look around, and youll be amazed-all the beings around you are souls. Be one, see one. When many people have this heart connection, then we will know that we are all one, we human beings all over the planet. We will be one. One love. And dont leave out the animals, and trees, and clouds, and galaxies: its all one. Its one energy." -Ram Dass


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OfflineTrancedOutBrah
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Re: How do you change your thinking? [Re: r3volution.gurl]
    #27741193 - 04/18/22 10:41 PM (1 year, 9 months ago)

Moderation is the key to life.

Repress your desires and you will come out ravishing with a hunger and desire you didn't know you have.

Imagine yourself if you will, not having water for 2 days in the desert, on the brink of dying and all of the sudden, someone offers you water. I bet you would drink that water faster and harder than you ever had before. That desire to survive kicks in, nothing is more important.

Go far into the deep end of addiction and you will drown in pleasure, pain, suffering and a cycle of shit that will keep repeating until you either learn the hard way or die. There's no in-between for some.

Moderation is key. Moderation is what makes you happy and healthy.

It's okay to go crazy and have fun sometimes. Maybe even too much fun.

It's okay to relax and take 10 mins out to step back, breathe, let it all out.

It's okay to cry, to rage, to get angry, to remember you are a fucking animal and it's okay to get into that side of yourself.

People forget we are nothing more than intelligent apes.

Get primal mothafucka.

This applies to drugs, this applies to porn, whatever you are addicted to. Anything in life can be addicting if you are looking for an escape. Reality is hard. Life is hard. Don't make it harder on yourself.

Peace man. I hope the best. If you need any help, feel free to PM. I'm not the best dude in the world, but honest to god, I'm trying to be better.


--------------------
Lead by example, words mean little when your actions don't reflect what you say.

Spread kindness, love, empathy, compassion.

Learn from mistakes. Try and do better. Each day is a new day, try to make it a better one.

Coconut and Avocado is awesome for the skin.

MIND OVER MATTER

:mushroom2::lsd:


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Anonymous #1

Re: How do you change your thinking? [Re: gopher]
    #27741397 - 04/19/22 05:02 AM (1 year, 9 months ago)

Quote:

gopher said:
Quote:

anatomality said:
I think repressing is the opposite of what you want. You have to make peace with your shadow desires.

The unconscious dark parts must be integrated.
I mean, it's ok to think about sex.





These thoughts are my trigger to relapsing on porn and masterbation

I had like 3 or 4 months and thoughts like this made me masterbated to porn and I couldn't stop for months I'd say I would stop and keep doing it





My guy, you can't just stop jerking off. Even monks sneak away for some pussy or learn to nut with just their mind. Your mindset of repression and unacceptance of your nature will only make it worse. I understand why you'd want to quit porn, and I understand what it feels like to be a slave to your weiner(everyone does) but your sexuality is part of who you are, fundamentally, as a human. Learn how to live in symbiosis with your weiner. It's like, why is my dog barking? Maybe take it for a walk. Doggo always wants to go for a walk. I am not obligated. But sometimes doggo needs to walk.


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Offlineanatomality
Nothern Counterpart
I'm a teapot


Registered: 05/31/20
Posts: 1,354
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Last seen: 2 days, 4 hours
Re: How do you change your thinking? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27741469 - 04/19/22 06:25 AM (1 year, 9 months ago)

Arousal seems to be tied tight with disgust?

Do you hate what you look at to jerk off? Maybe see a sex therapist?

You need to BE with the thoughts. Just saying : 'thought crime' doesn't make it go away.
Try to examine your ideas with curiosity, like 'oh this is a wierd thing to be thinking rn?'

But probably therapy is a good thing.

Are you thinking about hurting someone? (added just in case you're about to go out and commit a sex crime by accident)


--------------------
“The strength of a person's spirit would then be measured by how much 'truth' he could tolerate, or more precisely, to what extent he needs to have it diluted, disguised, sweetened, muted, falsified.”


Edited by anatomality (04/19/22 06:41 AM)


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OfflineRJ Tubs 202
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Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,010
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Last seen: 1 day, 5 hours
Re: How do you change your thinking? [Re: r3volution.gurl] * 3
    #27741867 - 04/19/22 11:35 AM (1 year, 9 months ago)

Quote:

r3volution.gurl said:

What would you say you believe the root problem of the porn/masturbating addiction is?




As social primates, most humans live relatively lonely isolated lives.

We live in boxes ("houses") and most of us aren't part of a tightly cohesive tribe or true community. 

Although we are not held in captivity (unless in prison) many of us exhibit similar repetitive behaviors that are seen in primates held in captivity. Captivity is a unstimulating monotonous and underwhelming experience (no matter how many swing structures and balls are available for chimps to play with) 

Many animals cope with this stress in ways not observed in nature - pacing, bar biting, repetitive masturbation, trichotillomania (repetitive hair plucking) and regurgitation & reingestation (the practice of repetitively vomiting and eating the vomit).

One report suggests that 36% of all Americans, including 61% of young adults and 51% of mothers with young children, feel intense loneliness.

The numbers are probably much worse - but many folks are unwilling to admit it due to shame.

During periods of my life I've felt empty & isolated, I've engaged in a lot of self-harm and masturbation.

(I seem to prefer pain to feelings of emptiness.  At least I feel a bit human when I'm in pain.)


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InvisibleThe Blind Ass
Bodhi
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Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,657
Loc: The Primordial Mind
Re: How do you change your thinking? [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
    #27742199 - 04/19/22 03:15 PM (1 year, 9 months ago)

Goph, do you have an understanding girlfriend?  Sounds like you need a partner in crime to explore your sexuality with - just my imho&e.

Integration of the shadow / balanced if possible.


--------------------
Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps


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Anonymous #1

Re: How do you change your thinking? [Re: The Blind Ass]
    #27743141 - 04/20/22 06:18 AM (1 year, 9 months ago)

Maybe it would help gopher to hear some of our experiences

Personally, I'm mostly normal. A little on the neurotic side of being not normal but my life is straight. I love my wife, I'd do anything for her and I'd never cheat on her. But when I see a piece of ass I take a look. It's almost a reflex, like a sneeze. We were at the wife's (younger lol) sister's place the other day and she had the titties on display, and it's like, I know what her sister's(my wife's) tits look like. Easy 9/10 titties. And I'm looking her in the eye but trying not to look at her titties is like.. when you look in to the sun. I'm almost squinting, it feels like the equivalent of lifting something heavy with my eyeballs because I'm fighting my gaze. A man likes the titties.  Have I often thought, man I kind of wish I didn't have a dick? Certainly, yes. Rogan once compared having a dick to being a werewolf because one minute you're normal, the next you have these incredible urges and then you wake up not knowing where you are, filled with regret. :lol: and while I think there are levels to all of this, I think it's important to say that being a man is pretty universal. The matriarchal relationship probably has a big impact on this but overall most guys have a little brain that wanders and it's name is penis. And when you don't get laid it's only worse. It builds and it can feel all encompassing because, as a man, our biological urge is to spread that seed. Just like it's a woman's biological urge to size a man up and make herself look presentable. Think how a woman may obsess with her image. She walks past a store and you see her looking, then you realize she's using the window as a mirror. She's sitting there and fixes her hair or adjusts her clothing. She fishes for a compliment. That is the female equivalent of the biological obsession. Not that they don't obsess over sex because obviously they do, but more on a "this is my bits" kind of level. That need to release. But comparatively it's not the same.


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Invisibler3volution.gurl
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Registered: 10/20/21
Posts: 6,250
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Re: How do you change your thinking? [Re: RJ Tubs 202] * 1
    #27743321 - 04/20/22 09:24 AM (1 year, 9 months ago)

Thank you for your insight. I completely agree and am familiar with what you've shared. I specifically asked Gopher because it's important what he thinks and believes his root problem is in order to figure out a long term solution rather than a band-aid short term one.


--------------------

"Souls love. Thats what souls do. Egos dont, but souls do. Become a soul, look around, and youll be amazed-all the beings around you are souls. Be one, see one. When many people have this heart connection, then we will know that we are all one, we human beings all over the planet. We will be one. One love. And dont leave out the animals, and trees, and clouds, and galaxies: its all one. Its one energy." -Ram Dass


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OfflineRJ Tubs 202
Male


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,010
Loc: USA Flag
Last seen: 1 day, 5 hours
Re: How do you change your thinking? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #27743928 - 04/20/22 04:35 PM (1 year, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:

... most guys have a little brain that wanders and it's name is penis.




I find this a very narrow viewpoint that ignores a huge part of reality. 

Unfortunately, males (and females) are taught this belief starting in childhood.  We are taught that physical intimacy between a man and a woman means sexual intercourse.  How often do men have a physically intimate relationship with a female that doesn't include sexual intercourse? Oh my God people say - that's not really an option because if a male gets an erection, it becomes a difficult situation (that might be dangerous - oh that nasty testosterone)

A neglected erection is tragic & painful!  He will have BLUE BALLS!  Oh, the horror. 

About a month ago I asked a close (single) female friend to spend some time being physically close.  I've known her for 30 years. We've spent quite a bit of time together - dinners & late night parties with friends.  I made it clear I was wanting to be close - with clothes on. I wasn't looking for sex. From what she replied, she clearly misunderstood me.  I tried to explain to her there are ways to be physically close without engaging in sexual intercourse.  She didn't comprehend the idea.   

I would have enjoyed being close with her without sex. I'm an affectionate person and I could have given her a nice shoulder rub or massaged her feet, but the idea of physical intimacy with a man without sex was so foreign to her she couldn't understand it.  I felt sad for her.

The term "unconsummated love" or "unconsummated relationship" reveals this hidden sickness in our society.

The word "unconsummated" means > not finished, not completed

That's plain insane.  Sex is the hallmark of love?!  That idea is pure poison.


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