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Rotnpins
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Registered: 01/11/22
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Relative with dementia... 1
#27731076 - 04/12/22 06:54 AM (1 year, 9 months ago) |
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So, i have a relative with late stage dementia, and he has gotten to the point where he is a real hand full.. Usually from the time he wakes up in the morning, until he goes to bed at night, he is non-stop belligerent to everyone he sees.. It doesn't stop when he's alone. He will sit in a room alone, yelling, cussing, and talking to himself non-stop.. I'm not his primary care giver, nowhere relative is, and I go over to his house for a couple hours every day to try and help out.. It seems like everything we have tried to do, to get him to be a little more calm, has failed. Have any of you been in a similar situation with a relative? Did you find something that worked for you and helped make the situation a little less stressful?
Edited by Rotnpins (04/12/22 07:43 AM)
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SharaVabdas



Registered: 03/23/22
Posts: 489
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Re: Relative with dementia... *DELETED* [Re: Rotnpins]
#27732068 - 04/12/22 10:22 PM (1 year, 9 months ago) |
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Post deleted by SharaVabdas
Reason for deletion: Shroomery is full of bigots and I'm leaving.
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Doc9151
Mycologist


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Re: Relative with dementia... [Re: SharaVabdas] 1
#27733035 - 04/13/22 03:13 PM (1 year, 9 months ago) |
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My mother had dementia before she passed away last year. That is something that I would not wish on my worst enemy!!! It crushed me the first time she looked me dead in my eyes and said "you may look like my son, but you're NOT my son"!!! I had to walk away for a minute. It only got worse before she died, all we could do was make sure that she couldn't harm herself, she couldn't walk so we didn't have to worry about her hurting anyone else, but it sounds like that's something y'all have to keep in mind. Just keep it in mind that they aren't themselves and do the best you can to keep the person clean, fed and happy, knowing that you're doing the best you can.
My heart goes out to everyone involved, especially the person suffering, just imagine what hell they are living.
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Edited by Doc9151 (04/13/22 03:14 PM)
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Fixx
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Re: Relative with dementia... [Re: Doc9151] 1
#27733150 - 04/13/22 04:23 PM (1 year, 9 months ago) |
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It may pay to get your relative checked out for a UTI (urinary tract infection), it can cause the verbal aggression etc you are describing. My mother has severe dementia, she's not aware of who I am, phases in and out knowing Dad, cannot talk properly and is slowly losing the ability to feed herself etc. She used to get very verbally aggressive and non cooperative, and very demanding of my Dad, and still can on occasions but no where near as bad. Had her checked out by the doctor to find she had a UTI, after a course of antibiotics to clear it Mum became a much more pleasant person to be around and easier to handle. Apparently this is quite common in dementia sufferers. hope this helps.
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Rotnpins
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Re: Relative with dementia... [Re: Fixx]
#27733171 - 04/13/22 04:36 PM (1 year, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Fixx said: It may pay to get your relative checked out for a UTI (urinary tract infection), it can cause the verbal aggression etc you are describing. My mother has severe dementia, she's not aware of who I am, phases in and out knowing Dad, cannot talk properly and is slowly losing the ability to feed herself etc. She used to get very verbally aggressive and non cooperative, and very demanding of my Dad, and still can on occasions but no where near as bad. Had her checked out by the doctor to find she had a UTI, after a course of antibiotics to clear it Mum became a much more pleasant person to be around and easier to handle. Apparently this is quite common in dementia sufferers. hope this helps.
Very good to know... we have a doctors appointment coming up, and that will definitely be something that I bring up when speaking with his doctor...
Thank you all for your replies..
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Doc9151
Mycologist


Registered: 02/23/17
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Re: Relative with dementia... [Re: Fixx]
#27733174 - 04/13/22 04:38 PM (1 year, 9 months ago) |
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FIXX, you bring up an excellent point!!! It's crazy how a uti can affect your mental state after a certain age or with certain disabilities.
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Rotnpins
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Re: Relative with dementia... [Re: Doc9151]
#27733180 - 04/13/22 04:41 PM (1 year, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Doc9151 said: FIXX, you bring up an excellent point!!! It's crazy how a uti can affect your mental state after a certain age or with certain disabilities.
I'm glad you guys mention it. I never would have thought of something like that, and I at least want to make sure we rule out the possibility.. It would be amazing if something could be done to help him out a little bit.
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Doc9151
Mycologist


Registered: 02/23/17
Posts: 13,753
Loc: Gulf Coast USA
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: Relative with dementia... [Re: Rotnpins]
#27733188 - 04/13/22 04:51 PM (1 year, 9 months ago) |
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It has to be taxing for the old fella, waking up everyday in an endless groundhog day like scenario. I can only imagine from the things that I've witnessed over the years what it must be like for these people. I'm sure its scary, even for the toughest soul, so keep that in mind.
--------------------
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Patchouli_Savage


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Re: Relative with dementia... [Re: Doc9151]
#27733244 - 04/13/22 05:30 PM (1 year, 9 months ago) |
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Assess for UTI and talk to the doctor about med changes. Sometimes daily SSRI or mood stabalizer can help, or PRN ativan or haldol are sometimes ordered.
-------------------- "You are a ghost driving a meat coated skeleton made from stardust. What do you have to be scared of?"
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anatomality
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Re: Relative with dementia... [Re: Rotnpins]
#27733274 - 04/13/22 06:10 PM (1 year, 9 months ago) |
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You can ask for medications like haldol or benzos to try and mellow her out...
I'm just suggesting, because it might make things better for everyone involved.
There's an invisible epidemic of neurocognitive decline, and it's about to get into high gear.
-------------------- “The strength of a person's spirit would then be measured by how much 'truth' he could tolerate, or more precisely, to what extent he needs to have it diluted, disguised, sweetened, muted, falsified.”
Edited by anatomality (04/13/22 07:14 PM)
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kreg
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Registered: 09/14/21
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Re: Relative with dementia... [Re: anatomality]
#27733389 - 04/13/22 07:50 PM (1 year, 9 months ago) |
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watching thread
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Rotnpins
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Re: Relative with dementia... [Re: anatomality] 1
#27733770 - 04/14/22 01:43 AM (1 year, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
anatomality said: You can ask for medications like haldol or benzos to try and mellow her out..
This was actually my plan for the doctors appointment before reading about the UTI possibility... now both are on my list of things to discuss with the doctor... hopefully we can come up with something that will help make the situation a little more manageable..
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Relative with dementia... [Re: SharaVabdas]
#27736430 - 04/15/22 08:11 PM (1 year, 9 months ago) |
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My heart goes out to anyone in this position. My grandmother was always mean, but she had a stroke and it ramped up the intensity of abuse, completely uninhibited. My mom and I moved to try to get her better, but she went out of her way to continually try to destroy my life with planned out malicious intent. The best archetypal example I can think of would be Tony Soprano's mom Olivia.
We were in the process of getting her into a decent nursing home but she ran away, issued a no contact order by telling the hospital we were beating her, and got herself into the Medicare system.
Good about taking preventative measures early on to combat any genetic predispositions
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TrancedOutBrah
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My grandmother on my fathers side had Alzheimer's, let me tell you a story:
When I was 10, my parents realized that my grandmothers mental health was going down badly, she use to power walk/exercise daily for at least 30 mins to an hour. She use to run marathons even when she was 60. At 74, she really started to go down south. She was undiagnosed at this point, but they knew something was wrong. She refused to go in to get help, she "knew" she was fine.
So my parents decided to build a house with an extra room, thinking they could care for her. So the house gets built and at this point I'm age 11 before puberty hit. Pretty small and short kid at this point, squeaky voice. The whole 9 yards.
One night, unlike all the rest, we were having dinner at the dinner table, and she freaks the fuck out, she panics and stares at me and no longer recognizes who I was. She thought I was intruder, she grabbed my neck and tried to choke the ever living shit out of me. Mind you, she was a very fit, strong old woman, despite taking care of herself, Alzheimer's still came and took over.
That was the day my parents realized they could no longer house her here, that she had to get sent to a mental/retirement home where she could be properly taken care of.... and not hurt their son/daughter, because it could have been me or my sister, honestly. Or maybe it would have been my mom next? Who knows.
I watched her go from a shining bright, strong old woman with vigor and passion you haven't seen before into a shell of a human being, with no memories, nothing... there was nothing left.
It's also why I started taking Racetam Nootropics, because they are prescribed to fight against Alzheimer's.
Honestly, nothing scares me more than dementia and losing all the memories we hold close and dear to us.
-------------------- Lead by example, words mean little when your actions don't reflect what you say. Spread kindness, love, empathy, compassion. Learn from mistakes. Try and do better. Each day is a new day, try to make it a better one. Coconut and Avocado is awesome for the skin. MIND OVER MATTER

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