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OfflineShiroiTora
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Registered: 03/16/21
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Mystical Experience - 15g of Cactus Skins * 2
    #27728540 - 04/10/22 11:32 AM (2 months, 20 days ago)

This experience was an experiment to determine the potency of some T. bridgisii cactus skins I harvested some weeks earlier. The cacti were cut into stars and the dark green bits of skin were removed, then dried and finally ground up in an electric coffee grinder. Thus far it has been my best recipe for preparing cactus, I would highly recommend.

So at around 9AM on a rainy Saturday I consumed 15g of the dried material, following online mescaline content averages, I worked out that the 15g contained roughly 300mg of mescaline, not too much but certainly not an  underwhelming dosage level for a test. Into 11 size 00 caps I put 9g of the cactus, and mixed the remaining 6g into some hot water to make a tea. Along with that I made a tea consisting of water, lemon juice and honey(the sour taste helping with the bitterness of the cactus and also to lower the pH of the stomach for better absorption, like cactus lemon tek). It was surprisingly easy to ingest compared with my previous 3 times trying cactus, I think the finely ground cactus makes the difference.

First alerts were felt around 40 minutes after dosing, and at an hour I was too uncomfortable to stay in my apartment, so I went for a walk. On the way I noticed colours beginning to deepen, and a compulsive energy sweeping my body, I had to keep walking. I walked to a nature reserve about 6km from my house and then proceeded to explore the wildlife. Unfortunately there wasn't a lot as the weather was very cloudy, real "a-storm-a-brewin" weather, so I decided to walk back home. On the walk home everything was still fine(this was at T+2h), and things only started picking up when I entered my apartment again at T+3.5h(I seem to have walked slower and slower coming back).

As soon as the peak hit I had no recollection of time, and was immersed in some extra-surreal tripping space I have never been to before. I was stripped of my ego completely, and became all manner of different things, sort of arranged into layers of experience that eventually connected up. I was both the observer and the observed, becoming for the first time aware of the interplay of existence. I was at once a multitude of populations of different animals, and the environment they were living in. I came to see that not only do plants need animals for photosynthesis, they need our very sense-faculties for literally existing on a quantum level.

Over the next 12 hours I would grow immeasurably confused as to who or what I actually was(I would not recommend tripping alone on high doses of cactus, especially for beginners). I came to see familiar scenes from throughout history, I was Krishna riding into battle, I was Cain and Abel, I was Horus and Set, I was myself looking from a million different faces. All the meaningless quibbles I judged the Hindu gods for I intrinsically understood, I understood what a curse it must be to exist as a god. I was dragged into something or other, not of my choosing, wherein I was responsible to maintain reality as we know it, reduced to a single feedback loop that was quite inescapable. It must have been a puzzle given to me by Huachuma.

One interesting side-show, or element of psychosis, I'm not exactly sure, was the introduction to a being I call "Jean-jaques" for short(his full name I cannot understand nor pronounce, and due to it being french I cannot begin to guess at correct spelling). This was a being that was more of an archetype(in the sense that I could recognise Jean-Jaques in a lot of my friends) than a corporeal organism, but was half human, half frog and all nasty. So basically Jean-Jaques' entire existence is a scandal. He is so grotesque and annoyingly overbearing that people know to stay the fuck away from him without even speaking a word to him. The worst part of it all is that it's not even his fault, he was born that way, and he even has the saintly wisdom to know that this was his path, he is clearly aware of his shortcomings and even plays into the joke, adding to the gut-wrenching hilarity of his existence. I identified Jean-Jaques' problem as him trying NOT to be someone(like one of his parents), instead of trying to be someone. He of course, as a being created outside of time, knows the whole story, he knows why he is the way he is, and he knows what must be fixed, but he is sadly locked up inside the human unconscious, forever serving humans by being absolutely revolting, and hoping silently for the sweet release of death as all humans let go of their erroneous ways and just realise they can truly be who they choose.

At around T+12h I was legit starting to panic, I still had no idea who/what I was and had completely forgotten my life prior to drinking the cactus. I was trapped in time, and was feeling quite crazy by the end. My only anchor to the real world was that I had taken a drug, that it lasted 8-14 hours(whatever the fuck that meant), and that I would be normal as soon as it left my system. I cannot stress how scary it is to legit just have FAITH that I would return to some form of normalcy, not being guaranteed that I would ever be the same(I mean I'm not.. this trip obviously changed my life). I managed to eat something at T+14h, and also smoked some weed to be able to sleep, to no avail. I was still having visuals and tripping balls and could finally drift off at 4:30AM(almost 20 hours since ingestion!!).

Needless to say I think the cactus contained a bit more than 300mg of mescaline, and I will not in future drink cactus with impunity, "just as an experiment". I was shown that there are headspaces you do not want to mess with, and psychoses/puzzles exist that will readily consume your tiny human mind. Even though I learned a lot, I feel a degree of mental scarring, as I tried to 'lift a weight I was not yet ready for'. Having said that I feel I got a lot more out of it than an acid trip of the same intensity(about 600ug) would have given me, and I will be taking cactus again in the near future(just with a lot more preparation).


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InvisibleHartford
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Registered: 11/27/19
Posts: 678
Loc: United States
Re: Mystical Experience - 15g of Cactus Skins [Re: ShiroiTora] * 1
    #27729290 - 04/10/22 08:41 PM (2 months, 20 days ago)

It must have been so disappointing and dehumanizing, after seeing yourself embodied in such great legendary characters, to need to fixate on a frogman.

It sounds like the visions got less pleasant as the trip wore on.


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OfflineShiroiTora
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Registered: 03/16/21
Posts: 174
Loc: South Africa Flag
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Re: Mystical Experience - 15g of Cactus Skins [Re: Hartford] * 1
    #27730960 - 04/12/22 03:19 AM (2 months, 18 days ago)

No the frogman was over and above the gods, in a way he even pre-dated them, temporally as well as in the trip. Thinking back I think he is a projection of some sort, of a fundamentally flawed way of going about things that gods are as guilty of as people are. But fuck he was funny, probably the most hilarious single thing in all of my trips thus far, even though I don't even understand French. Also the parts where I were gods were pretty unflattering, mostly fixated on fundamental differences echoing throughout eternity, and how conflict between all things will not only never end but is necessary, as without it we would not know peace either.

All the visions were utterly divine, the thing was that I was so fully and completely gone I started missing my body and normal reality, and then I had to sit for another couple million years, that was the mentally scarring part, like I have no clue how I handled it psychologically.


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