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Anonymous #1

Re: How could I ever get a boyfriend? [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #27768281 - 05/08/22 08:19 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

So advising a woman to reciprocate interest when she is looking for a potential relationship is bad advice? What do you advise she do? I’ve said my piece, she can take my advice to heart or she can ignore it. Either way I hope she can find happiness.

Also to not let the OP languish in a derailed thread I think she can also find love eventually although she may need to be more judicious and patient. But I can say for sure there are guys who would have no problem dating a trans woman, even one that hasn’t fully completed their transformation. They might not be her specific cup of tea looks wise but there are lots of lonely dudes out there. Might be harder in small towns perhaps but for sure in a decent size city there are gonna be lonely dudes who would be happy to have a woman show any interest in them. The fact a guy asked her out already proves that she isn’t undateable. Just maybe needs a little more time to find the right one she is comfortable with and don’t write guys off too quickly.


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Anonymous #2

Re: How could I ever get a boyfriend? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27768289 - 05/08/22 08:26 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

I know this has all probably been beyond your comprehension, and that’s okay, but for now just run along and go play with your dolls. 

P.s. I know you secretly wish Glacie would walk up off the streets and ask you if you’d immediately be willing to be her husbando.  How about giving the ol balls a lil tug,  being a man, and asking her first via :pm:?    See how well that works out for the both of ya. 


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Anonymous #1

Re: How could I ever get a boyfriend? [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #27768297 - 05/08/22 08:31 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Why are you talking about me? I’m not the one looking for a date/relationship here. What advice do you have for the ladies who are actually expressing a desire to find a partner? I’ve given them my advice while you’ve done nothing but try and say it’s bad advice without offering even a single alternative.


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OfflinePatchouli_Savage
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Re: How could I ever get a boyfriend? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27768310 - 05/08/22 08:45 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Being nice to someone doesn't always convey sexual interest. Certainly there is no harm in asking someone to hang out if you are interested, but to assume that any act of kindness means someone wants to date you or fuck you is a bad mindset to be in.

I'm also not about encouraging someone to reciprocate interest from strangers at the grocery store just because they checked you out. Take it as a silent compliment and continue working towards whatever a happy life looks like for you.

And Anon, you laid your views put pretty clearly in one post- there is nothing to "assume."


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"You are a ghost driving a meat coated skeleton made from stardust. What do you have to be scared of?"


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Anonymous #1

Re: How could I ever get a boyfriend? [Re: Patchouli_Savage]
    #27768342 - 05/08/22 09:05 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

I’m not saying she should drop to her knees cause some dude winked at her in a grocery store. What I’m saying is that if she wants to get asked out she needs to send some signals back. Most average guys these days are not going to pressure women the way some players will, especially if they do not receive any return signals. This isn’t the 80’s anymore. All I’m saying is many regular guys have been socially conditioned to not pressure or strongly pursue women. They might put out a signal and if it’s not returned they will leave it alone. Especially in a work setting. Also if she really does like a guy she shouldn’t be afraid to do the asking, most average guys would be happy to be asked out by a woman. It’s freaking 2022, women can ask men out if they want.

Maybe my use of the words Simp and Beta have triggered you so hard you have no choice but to argue with me. But you haven’t offered a single piece of useful advice thus far. Life isn’t a Disney film, Prince Charming isn’t around every corner, and sometimes people have to step out of their comfort zones and adapt to our changing social dynamics. At the end of the day she can either take my advice and put herself out there more or, she can do what you seem to suggest (though you haven’t made a single real suggestion thus far) and just wait for some dude to come on real strong.


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Anonymous #2

Re: How could I ever get a boyfriend? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27768479 - 05/08/22 10:50 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Woah there nelly!  Easy there, easy now!  We didn’t mean for you to get all riled up!

The thing is…so far that’s just the beginnings of the ABC’s of the hunt for a suitable partner.

My advice (to you) is to try not to read so much of yourself into things, especially between anons online. 

While we’re reiterating the abc’s of basic social skills as related to the topic at hand, why not

throw in how both verbal & non-verbal communication are key!

That way you can come across as more of a dotard while at the same time relying upon

projection for the better part of your contributions to the dialogue.  :lol:


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Anonymous #1

Re: How could I ever get a boyfriend? [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #27768553 - 05/08/22 11:28 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Where do I say anything to exclude non verbal communication? What do you think I mean when I say “signals?” Where do I read anything into myself other than what you overtly directed towards me? Great cope. Excellent strawmen. I’m simply giving the same advice I will give to my own daughter:

-don’t overlook average guys
-don’t be swept up by flashy dudes
-reciprocate attention if you want to convey interest
-don’t be afraid to talk to people you have an interest in

I’ll give similar advice to my son when his time comes as well. Sorry if my use of based language has triggered you to the point where you’re just feeding straw man narratives to keep up. FYI not everyone who uses redpill language is an incel or a PUA, in fact incels are mostly black pilled these days.


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OfflinePatchouli_Savage
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Re: How could I ever get a boyfriend? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27768707 - 05/08/22 01:39 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Where do I say anything to exclude non verbal communication? What do you think I mean when I say “signals?” Where do I read anything into myself other than what you overtly directed towards me? Great cope. Excellent strawmen. I’m simply giving the same advice I will give to my own daughter:

-don’t overlook average guys
-don’t be swept up by flashy dudes
-reciprocate attention if you want to convey interest
-don’t be afraid to talk to people you have an interest in

I’ll give similar advice to my son when his time comes as well. Sorry if my use of based language has triggered you to the point where you’re just feeding straw man narratives to keep up. FYI not everyone who uses redpill language is an incel or a PUA, in fact incels are mostly black pilled these days.




If you don't want to be classified as an incel, then don't utilize their vocabulary and spout their ideals under an anonymous screen name on the internet, and don't get butthurt when you're met with resistance for sounding like an asshole. Incels have literally murdered people because they feel entitled to attention from women they did not get, so if you don't want to be classified as such, don't present yourself as such.

My advice for dating?

The one thing I can agree with anon1 is not to be afraid to talk to people you're interested in.

Ask yourself if you want a quality partnership or if you just want to feel less lonely. If you want a quality partnership, keep reading. If you just want to feel less alone, then anon1s advice is fine for a temporary fix.

I think if you're super pre-occupied with wanting a partner, best practice is to stop worrying about it so much. Fixating on wanting a partner is a great way to justify putting your life on hold and placing unrealistic expectations on people you barely know. Get yourself to a point where you legitimately don't care if you find a partner or not. Practice non-attachment. Partners come and go.

Take care of your relationship to yourself, because that is the only person you will truly spend the rest of your life with.

1. Picture the life you imagine you want with a partner. Now picture that same life without a partner. Is that still the life you want? Then start building that life for yourself. 

2. Write down the qualities you find important in a partner. Do you also have those qualities? If you do not, what can you do to cultivate those same qualities? You can't expect to find a partner who possesses qualities you yourself do not have. (Kindness, intelligence, empathy, sense of humor, independence?)

3. Be open to meeting people without worrying whether you'll form a sexual or romantic relationship. Just be willing to meet people for the sake of meeting people. Get to know them for who they are. If you find that you're interested, ask if you can get to know them more.

4. Make sure your finances are in order. I cannot stress this enough. Always have some money stashed away that you don't touch and potential partners do not know about. I have seen way to many friends (male and female) get swept up into relationships when they find one, become reliant on each other for things like housing and transportation, and then find that they're stuck with each other out of necessity despite being miserable together after the honeymoon phase ends.

5. If you find yourself thinking you can't start the life you want without being partnered, ask yourself why that is.

6. If, while not partnered, you find yourself thinking of a need that you feel only a partner can fill, ask yourself how you can meet that need for yourself, and then meet that need for yourself.

7. Make changes to your appearance based on what YOU like, not what you think potential partners will like.

8. Pursue your own hobbies and interests and keep yourself busy, challenged, and engaged. Have your own personal goals and keep working towards them.

9. Don't view members of whatever gender you're interested in as potential partners. They're people. Get to know them as such.

10. Run away from any guy who complains about being put in the "friend zone."

11. Run away from any man who complains that they're alone because women are shallow or won't give average guys attention, or only care about money, or whatever.

12. Never let anyone make you feel guilty for having standards or things you will or will not tolerate in a partnership. As your life progresses, you will find that you have deal breakers. Stick to them.

13. Prince charming isn't around every corner. He likely doesn't exist. Be your own prince charming and allow partners to come and go as necessary. This is easier to do when you're confident you can take care of your own needs in every aspect. (Emotional, financial, physical, etc.)


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"You are a ghost driving a meat coated skeleton made from stardust. What do you have to be scared of?"


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Anonymous #1

Re: How could I ever get a boyfriend? [Re: Patchouli_Savage]
    #27768716 - 05/08/22 01:50 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Your real name is Patchouli_Savage? Nice word castle.


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OfflinePatchouli_Savage
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Registered: 12/26/13
Posts: 712
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Re: How could I ever get a boyfriend? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27768721 - 05/08/22 01:55 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Your real name is Patchouli_Savage? Nice word castle.




The fact that you have to go double anonymous on a drug forum speaks volumes. Afraid your ratings might drop if you show your face?


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"You are a ghost driving a meat coated skeleton made from stardust. What do you have to be scared of?"


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Anonymous #2

Re: How could I ever get a boyfriend? [Re: Patchouli_Savage]
    #27768753 - 05/08/22 02:16 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Can’t you tell by his username & post history?

He’s such a kewL h0t manly man that he regularly feasts

on incels, cucks, and pussy for breakfast.

Oh wait…that’s righttt I almost forgot… :goodmorning:


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OfflinePatchouli_Savage
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Re: How could I ever get a boyfriend? [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #27768772 - 05/08/22 02:31 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

:rofl2:


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"You are a ghost driving a meat coated skeleton made from stardust. What do you have to be scared of?"


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Anonymous #1

Re: How could I ever get a boyfriend? [Re: Patchouli_Savage]
    #27768786 - 05/08/22 02:42 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

I’m not a fan of censorship. I post anon because my Ex stalks me and I don’t post on this board much because of it. I’m not an incel or a PUA or an MRA (all of whom use based language and have completely different ideologies) but I’ll use the words I feel like. I’ve not flamed anyone and so far no one has refuted any of my points. I stand by my advice and I don’t care if you don’t like it. That’s your right. Anyways apologies to the OP for the derailment. Personally I still think any woman can find a boyfriend, even trans women. They might need to be the ones to do the asking, they might need to adjust their criteria, and settings like the workplace may no longer be appropriate, but any woman can find a man if she really wants one. That’s my two cents.


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OfflinePatchouli_Savage
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Re: How could I ever get a boyfriend? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27768878 - 05/08/22 04:05 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

I also apologize for the derailment, OP.


--------------------
"You are a ghost driving a meat coated skeleton made from stardust. What do you have to be scared of?"


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InvisibleCreonAntigone
Stranger

Registered: 05/30/21
Posts: 2,875
Re: How could I ever get a boyfriend? [Re: Patchouli_Savage]
    #27769057 - 05/08/22 07:05 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Patchouli_Savage said:
I also apologize for the derailment, OP.




I have to catch up with the argument to see where I stand.

I appreciate everyone's gender-affirming language but part of the problem is I don't really feel like a woman yet myself - I want to be but no one considers me that way yet. So the issue is I don't always get treated outwardly like a woman does. I hardly ever do.

So I really just need to find someone who is is into my style, knowing it is still a trans style and not yet everything I want. I can't comment on how that fits into what has been argued... I'll have to dig into it.


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OfflineGlacia
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Registered: 02/28/19
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Re: How could I ever get a boyfriend? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27769340 - 05/09/22 01:07 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Quote:

Glacia said:
Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
I’m perhaps way off base but I have a hard time imagining any woman not being able to find a boyfriend at all. There are literally armies of simps and beta dudes who would bend over to have a woman give them the time of day. You literally just need to have a bath, not look like or smell like a bag lady, and go outside, or go online, or go anywhere and you will have dudes looking your way. Chances are these guys are either invisible to you or you’ve already rejected them mentally for reasons. Many dudes nowadays understand that if they are perceived as low value by a woman, any advances they may make can be considered harassment. If it’s a choice between charges and being single many guys will stick with single. They’d rather make love to their own hand than be forced to make love to a cell mate.

Any woman who isn’t horribly disfigured or 600lbs can get a boyfriend easily. Odds are you’ve already overlooked many potential ones. Hell even the 600 pounders can find a feeder. The lack of global wars has increased the male population to levels not seen before in history. But the historical way that we dealt with such a dearth of men hasn’t disappeared, and evolution still plays a major role. If you’re willing to settle for an average dude go ask one out. I 💯 guarantee that you won’t have to try very long.

:twocents:




I think I look half decent, I have pretty good hygiene, short, slim, long brown hair which I tinted dark pink/red recently. I don't get romantic attention from guys. Guys check me out occasionally in public and grown men (I am 20F so am a woman I guess) look at me but it could be I look weird or something. I have eczema but I don't think it looks too off-putting. Some guys talk to me at work, some avoid me. My crush at work offered me a ride home once but otherwise nada, nothing. Even tho I look better than I used to, I just don't seem to get attention. But I am an introvert and find it hard to talk to guys on top of that. It's a hard feeling when most of your coworkers have someone but you don't. No being asked out or anything.




You have guys checking you out? Your crush offered you a ride home? Shit you are not paying any attention and obviously not returning any signals. Guys are not going to ask a woman out in 2022 if they don’t think they’re interested, especially in a work setting. You have to return some signals. No guy wants to be fired or charged with a sex crime these days. Guys are introverted too and often get 100’s of rejections. But now with the understanding that when a less attractive guy shows interest it can be construed as harassment, most guys who are not Chads will not be overly aggressive. Fishing in the company pond is far more risky these days as well, so something like offering a ride home should be a pretty clear signal. You likely won’t get anything more overt than that.




Omg I thought being offered a ride home was normal cos my female coworkers offer me rides altho only 1 guy has. I accepted at first then had to decline as it didn't fit my plans. Recently this guy stopped talking to me altogether so that gave me an opportunity to approach him and come out of my little introverted shell. I've been approaching him and he's started talking to me again.

Also sorry to OP for the sidetrack.


Edited by Glacia (05/09/22 01:14 AM)


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Anonymous #1

Re: How could I ever get a boyfriend? [Re: Glacia]
    #27769387 - 05/09/22 03:40 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

I’m not saying that every single act of kindness has to have an ulterior motive behind it but, in many cases a guy these days is going to do something like that to express his interest. We don’t live in a time where acting rapey like Pepe la peu is considered an acceptable way for guys to pursue a woman anymore. Chads and PUA’s may still act pushy but most average guys will not. They will make a small gesture, see how it’s received, and based on that either do something more overt or take the hint and go on his way.

Glad you were able to come out of your shell and talk to him. Even if it doesn’t go anywhere I think it’s a fine thing for women to approach guys who they are interested in. I’m an introvert as well so I applaud you doing what feels difficult and unnatural.


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OfflineGlacia
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Re: How could I ever get a boyfriend? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27770391 - 05/09/22 09:05 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
I’m not saying that every single act of kindness has to have an ulterior motive behind it but, in many cases a guy these days is going to do something like that to express his interest. We don’t live in a time where acting rapey like Pepe la peu is considered an acceptable way for guys to pursue a woman anymore. Chads and PUA’s may still act pushy but most average guys will not. They will make a small gesture, see how it’s received, and based on that either do something more overt or take the hint and go on his way.

Glad you were able to come out of your shell and talk to him. Even if it doesn’t go anywhere I think it’s a fine thing for women to approach guys who they are interested in. I’m an introvert as well so I applaud you doing what feels difficult and unnatural.




Thank you, you must understand how hard it is for an introvert. It took me 6 months to even say hi to him. I will keep approaching him. He stopped talking to me completely recently, but he's been friendlier towards me since I said hi the other day. He came into the lunchroom on his day off so I was surprised, he said hi and I said hi back. I know our old connection eg. where he gave me hi fives and was friendly towards me can be restored.


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InvisibleCookieCrumbsM
Fucked off to the pub
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Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
Re: How could I ever get a boyfriend? [Re: Glacia]
    #27771775 - 05/10/22 07:41 PM (1 year, 8 months ago)

That's not being an introvert, that's social anxiety.


--------------------
          :dancingbear: Free time is the only time :dancingbear:                    :thatsinteresting:


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OfflineNicko80
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Re: How could I ever get a boyfriend? [Re: CreonAntigone]
    #27779782 - 05/16/22 03:22 AM (1 year, 8 months ago)

Hi I'd like to go on the record and say that who you are is shouldn't be defined by what is between your legs if an honest guy sees the beauty within you makeup or no make-up then that's the guy that would do anything just to make you smile if you would like to chat feel free to contact me at sillycripple@gmail.com my name is Nick and I'm from the Gold Coast Queensland Australia


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