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CreonAntigone
Stranger

Registered: 05/30/21
Posts: 2,875
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How could I ever get a boyfriend?
#27721489 - 04/04/22 09:51 PM (1 year, 9 months ago) |
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I need your help shroomery.
Let me explain my situation. Some of you might have read some of my other posts - bizarre posts about cannabis and estrogen.
And I trans'd. I actually started the hormones over a year ago and it went bad, but I started again about 1.5 months ago and going strong.
I am finding myself in a situation where I'm really really desperately needing to expand my social network. I want to get dates.
I am taking estrogen but I don't pass in any way as a girl unless I'm wearing a lot of makeup and I don't like to do that. It will take me at least 1 more year of hormones to be comfortable.
How can I date when I'm basically selling an 'iou' of gender, knowing full well the fact that I won't look the same after a year or two? Do I need someone who is interested in the process?
Are there guys who are attracted to the middle and not the extremes?
And besides the trans thing I fundamentally struggle to date because of who I am, I am weird and strange, I am very friendly to friends but rub people the wrong way. I nearly never approach people and find it very hard.
Most guys will not date someone with my gender situation so that eliminates most of the pool. We can include trans people as well as guys - so what pool is left? Where do I find this segment that is looking for people like me?
And indeed, as to the social awkwardness, there's no remedy for that.
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CreonAntigone
Stranger

Registered: 05/30/21
Posts: 2,875
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Re: How could I ever get a boyfriend? [Re: CreonAntigone]
#27721560 - 04/04/22 10:43 PM (1 year, 9 months ago) |
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Scratch this post! It's all wrong!
I talked about need this or that amount of time on hormones - am I going to suffer guys who aren't patient with me? No!
I want to find a guy who wants me for me, not wants me for a few more years of hormones.
I am owning shit a lot more now with hormones, I got some very small boobs. I am way more dateable. The estrogen helps immensely even after 1 month.
I need to start again.
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CreonAntigone
Stranger

Registered: 05/30/21
Posts: 2,875
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Re: How could I ever get a boyfriend? [Re: CreonAntigone]
#27721573 - 04/04/22 10:55 PM (1 year, 9 months ago) |
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I am basically only dealing with toxicity from work, so I just want someone who actually wants to spend time with me, if that's too much to ask.
I will post again if any of my pathetic efforts results in me finding a guy (they won't).
It doesn't matter what hormones I take, it doesn't matter what gender I go for, I don't get laid.
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r3volution.gurl



Registered: 10/20/21
Posts: 6,250
Loc: Canada
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Re: How could I ever get a boyfriend? [Re: CreonAntigone]
#27726461 - 04/08/22 10:52 PM (1 year, 9 months ago) |
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Maybe that fetish website fetlife someone suggested for someone in the other thread? Not saying that dating a person in transition is a fetish at all, but just cause those people on there are probably more open and I'm sure it's worth a try even if you just make some friends out of it. Regular dating sites are full of crappy people probably, I wouldn't know, but my single friends tell me the stories lol
Congrats on the titties also.
What's your fitness level like btw?
--------------------
  "Souls love. That’s what souls do. Egos don’t, but souls do. Become a soul, look around, and you’ll be amazed-all the beings around you are souls. Be one, see one. When many people have this heart connection, then we will know that we are all one, we human beings all over the planet. We will be one. One love. And don’t leave out the animals, and trees, and clouds, and galaxies: it’s all one. It’s one energy." -Ram Dass
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CreonAntigone
Stranger

Registered: 05/30/21
Posts: 2,875
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Thank you very much for the response.
Quote:
r3volution.gurl said:.
What's your fitness level like btw?
I understand why you'd ask this - but my situation is not usual. The health issues are not on the side of weight gain but the opposite. Since I started hormones - I started them over a year ago and stopped and then am just restarting now - since that first time, I have never been able to eat as much as I used to.
I understand the simple mechanics that the hormones as basically asking me to have a smaller body, so I eat a LOT less. But it is a bit disappointing. I am going to see my doctor to make sure nothing unhealthy is going on.
I am like 135 to 140 pounds. I think my body is shaping up super well. I think it has that shape that people like, where it sort of goes in in the middle - the hourglass.
In some ways I am physically very healthy. I walk all the time and lift heavy objects. But I struggle with chronic digestive issues since youth.
I think my body could be really good for all sorts of clothes, but I am still too unconfident to wear anything that doesn't essentially disguise my body shape. That's all I've been wearing, big coats, for my whole transition, explicitly not to look trans.
But now my body might be something, so perhaps I can show it some kinda way. I have yet to buy new clothes for the transition. I get my paycheck april 29 and will go on a clothes shopping spree, but I might buy some simple second-hands before then.
What do you suppose would be good to show a shape but carefully? I don't want it to be really obvious that my body is shaped like this, but maybe obvious to the people interested in looking, haha.
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r3volution.gurl



Registered: 10/20/21
Posts: 6,250
Loc: Canada
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Re: How could I ever get a boyfriend? [Re: CreonAntigone]
#27728648 - 04/10/22 10:48 AM (1 year, 9 months ago) |
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Nice that's great! Yeah I was just asking cause when we take care of ourselves physically and mentally, naturally we are considered more attractive right.
Sorry about the digestive issues, I can somewhat relate cause I really have to watch what I eat.
Oo that's a tough one, what would you say your style is? I love more classy casual looks cause they do show some shape, but nothing super form fitting. I feel like that would be great for you as well since that's kind of what you're looking for and it's very attractive I think.

This was my outfit last night.
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  "Souls love. That’s what souls do. Egos don’t, but souls do. Become a soul, look around, and you’ll be amazed-all the beings around you are souls. Be one, see one. When many people have this heart connection, then we will know that we are all one, we human beings all over the planet. We will be one. One love. And don’t leave out the animals, and trees, and clouds, and galaxies: it’s all one. It’s one energy." -Ram Dass
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CreonAntigone
Stranger

Registered: 05/30/21
Posts: 2,875
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I love those coats! I love the idea of wearing an outfit under that and a free-flowing coat. I love the black shirt-pants combo in the second pick with the big coat.
I shaved yesterday and tomorrow morning I'm going thrifting for my first day as a proud lady.
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r3volution.gurl



Registered: 10/20/21
Posts: 6,250
Loc: Canada
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Re: How could I ever get a boyfriend? [Re: CreonAntigone]
#27730882 - 04/11/22 10:44 PM (1 year, 9 months ago) |
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Awesome! Let me know how it goes(if you want to of course).
I love those kinds of coats too. Wish I had that brown one, it's really nice. This is the one I have
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  "Souls love. That’s what souls do. Egos don’t, but souls do. Become a soul, look around, and you’ll be amazed-all the beings around you are souls. Be one, see one. When many people have this heart connection, then we will know that we are all one, we human beings all over the planet. We will be one. One love. And don’t leave out the animals, and trees, and clouds, and galaxies: it’s all one. It’s one energy." -Ram Dass
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CreonAntigone
Stranger

Registered: 05/30/21
Posts: 2,875
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Quote:
r3volution.gurl said: Awesome! Let me know how it goes(if you want to of course).
I love those kinds of coats too. Wish I had that brown one, it's really nice. This is the one I have

The scarf is great. I'd love to add that but it isn't the weather for it.
What else can I use to complete a look?
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r3volution.gurl



Registered: 10/20/21
Posts: 6,250
Loc: Canada
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Re: How could I ever get a boyfriend? [Re: CreonAntigone]
#27731183 - 04/12/22 09:04 AM (1 year, 9 months ago) |
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Honestly it's mostly blazers, coats, jackets, cardigans, stuff of that nature. I don't wear a scarf with that coat all the time, only in cold spring or fall.
Belts, nice shoes to go with the outfit and a purse or handbag also. Plus jewelry, that's really all you can do.
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  "Souls love. That’s what souls do. Egos don’t, but souls do. Become a soul, look around, and you’ll be amazed-all the beings around you are souls. Be one, see one. When many people have this heart connection, then we will know that we are all one, we human beings all over the planet. We will be one. One love. And don’t leave out the animals, and trees, and clouds, and galaxies: it’s all one. It’s one energy." -Ram Dass
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Glacia



Registered: 02/28/19
Posts: 224
Loc: The Winterless North
Last seen: 1 day, 13 hours
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I don't know if this post is welcome but I can kinda relate.
I'm 20F and never had a boyfriend. I think I look decent. It gets to me. I am really introverted however.
It sucks.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: How could I ever get a boyfriend? [Re: Glacia]
#27767846 - 05/07/22 08:34 PM (1 year, 8 months ago) |
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I’m perhaps way off base but I have a hard time imagining any woman not being able to find a boyfriend at all. There are literally armies of simps and beta dudes who would bend over to have a woman give them the time of day. You literally just need to have a bath, not look like or smell like a bag lady, and go outside, or go online, or go anywhere and you will have dudes looking your way. Chances are these guys are either invisible to you or you’ve already rejected them mentally for reasons. Many dudes nowadays understand that if they are perceived as low value by a woman, any advances they may make can be considered harassment. If it’s a choice between charges and being single many guys will stick with single. They’d rather make love to their own hand than be forced to make love to a cell mate.
Any woman who isn’t horribly disfigured or 600lbs can get a boyfriend easily. Odds are you’ve already overlooked many potential ones. Hell even the 600 pounders can find a feeder. The lack of global wars has increased the male population to levels not seen before in history. But the historical way that we dealt with such a dearth of men hasn’t disappeared, and evolution still plays a major role. If you’re willing to settle for an average dude go ask one out. I 💯 guarantee that you won’t have to try very long.
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Patchouli_Savage


Registered: 12/26/13
Posts: 712
Loc: Somewhere between here an...
Last seen: 7 hours, 36 minutes
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Re: How could I ever get a boyfriend? [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#27767935 - 05/07/22 09:48 PM (1 year, 8 months ago) |
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So, fetlife might be a good resource not to find dates, but to expand your support system. From what I understand, a lot of trans women in my area have found a great deal of support and camaraderie as well as mentors on fet. (Not that you couldn't find dates, too.)
That is absolutely not to imply that you should only hang around other trans women- just that cis women may not be able to empathize with that part of your journey, even if they are also part of your support system.
-------------------- "You are a ghost driving a meat coated skeleton made from stardust. What do you have to be scared of?"
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Glacia



Registered: 02/28/19
Posts: 224
Loc: The Winterless North
Last seen: 1 day, 13 hours
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Re: How could I ever get a boyfriend? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#27768093 - 05/08/22 02:08 AM (1 year, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #1 said: I’m perhaps way off base but I have a hard time imagining any woman not being able to find a boyfriend at all. There are literally armies of simps and beta dudes who would bend over to have a woman give them the time of day. You literally just need to have a bath, not look like or smell like a bag lady, and go outside, or go online, or go anywhere and you will have dudes looking your way. Chances are these guys are either invisible to you or you’ve already rejected them mentally for reasons. Many dudes nowadays understand that if they are perceived as low value by a woman, any advances they may make can be considered harassment. If it’s a choice between charges and being single many guys will stick with single. They’d rather make love to their own hand than be forced to make love to a cell mate.
Any woman who isn’t horribly disfigured or 600lbs can get a boyfriend easily. Odds are you’ve already overlooked many potential ones. Hell even the 600 pounders can find a feeder. The lack of global wars has increased the male population to levels not seen before in history. But the historical way that we dealt with such a dearth of men hasn’t disappeared, and evolution still plays a major role. If you’re willing to settle for an average dude go ask one out. I 💯 guarantee that you won’t have to try very long.

I think I look half decent, I have pretty good hygiene, short, slim, long brown hair which I tinted dark pink/red recently. I don't get romantic attention from guys. Guys check me out occasionally in public and grown men (I am 20F so am a woman I guess) look at me but it could be I look weird or something. I have eczema but I don't think it looks too off-putting. Some guys talk to me at work, some avoid me. My crush at work offered me a ride home once but otherwise nada, nothing. Even tho I look better than I used to, I just don't seem to get attention. But I am an introvert and find it hard to talk to guys on top of that. It's a hard feeling when most of your coworkers have someone but you don't. No being asked out or anything.
Edited by Glacia (05/08/22 02:10 AM)
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Anonymous #1
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Re: How could I ever get a boyfriend? [Re: Glacia]
#27768194 - 05/08/22 06:31 AM (1 year, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Glacia said:
Quote:
Anonymous #1 said: I’m perhaps way off base but I have a hard time imagining any woman not being able to find a boyfriend at all. There are literally armies of simps and beta dudes who would bend over to have a woman give them the time of day. You literally just need to have a bath, not look like or smell like a bag lady, and go outside, or go online, or go anywhere and you will have dudes looking your way. Chances are these guys are either invisible to you or you’ve already rejected them mentally for reasons. Many dudes nowadays understand that if they are perceived as low value by a woman, any advances they may make can be considered harassment. If it’s a choice between charges and being single many guys will stick with single. They’d rather make love to their own hand than be forced to make love to a cell mate.
Any woman who isn’t horribly disfigured or 600lbs can get a boyfriend easily. Odds are you’ve already overlooked many potential ones. Hell even the 600 pounders can find a feeder. The lack of global wars has increased the male population to levels not seen before in history. But the historical way that we dealt with such a dearth of men hasn’t disappeared, and evolution still plays a major role. If you’re willing to settle for an average dude go ask one out. I 💯 guarantee that you won’t have to try very long.

I think I look half decent, I have pretty good hygiene, short, slim, long brown hair which I tinted dark pink/red recently. I don't get romantic attention from guys. Guys check me out occasionally in public and grown men (I am 20F so am a woman I guess) look at me but it could be I look weird or something. I have eczema but I don't think it looks too off-putting. Some guys talk to me at work, some avoid me. My crush at work offered me a ride home once but otherwise nada, nothing. Even tho I look better than I used to, I just don't seem to get attention. But I am an introvert and find it hard to talk to guys on top of that. It's a hard feeling when most of your coworkers have someone but you don't. No being asked out or anything.
You have guys checking you out? Your crush offered you a ride home? Shit you are not paying any attention and obviously not returning any signals. Guys are not going to ask a woman out in 2022 if they don’t think they’re interested, especially in a work setting. You have to return some signals. No guy wants to be fired or charged with a sex crime these days. Guys are introverted too and often get 100’s of rejections. But now with the understanding that when a less attractive guy shows interest it can be construed as harassment, most guys who are not Chads will not be overly aggressive. Fishing in the company pond is far more risky these days as well, so something like offering a ride home should be a pretty clear signal. You likely won’t get anything more overt than that.
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Patchouli_Savage


Registered: 12/26/13
Posts: 712
Loc: Somewhere between here an...
Last seen: 7 hours, 36 minutes
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Re: How could I ever get a boyfriend? [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#27768225 - 05/08/22 07:13 AM (1 year, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #1 said:
Quote:
Glacia said:
Quote:
Anonymous #1 said: I’m perhaps way off base but I have a hard time imagining any woman not being able to find a boyfriend at all. There are literally armies of simps and beta dudes who would bend over to have a woman give them the time of day. You literally just need to have a bath, not look like or smell like a bag lady, and go outside, or go online, or go anywhere and you will have dudes looking your way. Chances are these guys are either invisible to you or you’ve already rejected them mentally for reasons. Many dudes nowadays understand that if they are perceived as low value by a woman, any advances they may make can be considered harassment. If it’s a choice between charges and being single many guys will stick with single. They’d rather make love to their own hand than be forced to make love to a cell mate.
Any woman who isn’t horribly disfigured or 600lbs can get a boyfriend easily. Odds are you’ve already overlooked many potential ones. Hell even the 600 pounders can find a feeder. The lack of global wars has increased the male population to levels not seen before in history. But the historical way that we dealt with such a dearth of men hasn’t disappeared, and evolution still plays a major role. If you’re willing to settle for an average dude go ask one out. I 💯 guarantee that you won’t have to try very long.

I think I look half decent, I have pretty good hygiene, short, slim, long brown hair which I tinted dark pink/red recently. I don't get romantic attention from guys. Guys check me out occasionally in public and grown men (I am 20F so am a woman I guess) look at me but it could be I look weird or something. I have eczema but I don't think it looks too off-putting. Some guys talk to me at work, some avoid me. My crush at work offered me a ride home once but otherwise nada, nothing. Even tho I look better than I used to, I just don't seem to get attention. But I am an introvert and find it hard to talk to guys on top of that. It's a hard feeling when most of your coworkers have someone but you don't. No being asked out or anything.
You have guys checking you out? Your crush offered you a ride home? Shit you are not paying any attention and obviously not returning any signals. Guys are not going to ask a woman out in 2022 if they don’t think they’re interested, especially in a work setting. You have to return some signals. No guy wants to be fired or charged with a sex crime these days. Guys are introverted too and often get 100’s of rejections. But now with the understanding that when a less attractive guy shows interest it can be construed as harassment, most guys who are not Chads will not be overly aggressive. Fishing in the company pond is far more risky these days as well, so something like offering a ride home should be a pretty clear signal. You likely won’t get anything more overt than that.
Oh my god girl never take dating advice from a guy who uses words like "simps" or "chads" or any man who implies the problem is that you are single because you won't "settle for average guys." Or a guy who assumes that men get charged with sex crimes because they are just some less than average looking dude innocently flirting with a woman. Jesus.
Especially a guy who makes all these claims while using the anon funtion. If you can't say it under your username, you are showing us that you know you sound like a jerk.
-------------------- "You are a ghost driving a meat coated skeleton made from stardust. What do you have to be scared of?"
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Anonymous #1
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So you’re saying I’m wrong and she shouldn’t show these guys she is interested in that she is interested simply cause of the vernacular I’m using? What advice would you give then? To just sit back and do nothing? Seems like that ain’t working for her.
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Patchouli_Savage


Registered: 12/26/13
Posts: 712
Loc: Somewhere between here an...
Last seen: 7 hours, 36 minutes
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Re: How could I ever get a boyfriend? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#27768242 - 05/08/22 07:28 AM (1 year, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #1 said: So you’re saying I’m wrong and she shouldn’t show these guys she is interested in that she is interested simply cause of the vernacular I’m using? What advice would you give then? To just sit back and do nothing? Seems like that ain’t working for her.
An entire attitude and way of thinking isn't vernacular.
-------------------- "You are a ghost driving a meat coated skeleton made from stardust. What do you have to be scared of?"
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Anonymous #1
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Quote:
Patchouli_Savage said:
Quote:
Anonymous #1 said: So you’re saying I’m wrong and she shouldn’t show these guys she is interested in that she is interested simply cause of the vernacular I’m using? What advice would you give then? To just sit back and do nothing? Seems like that ain’t working for her.
An entire attitude and way of thinking isn't vernacular.
You are not answering the questions or addressing anything beyond what you think you perceive about my character based on a few posts. I'm saying to her that when a guy she likes offers her a ride home that she should take that as a signal. That if men are showing interest in her that she needs to show interest back. What advice do you have for her?
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Anonymous #2
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Re: How could I ever get a boyfriend? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#27768268 - 05/08/22 08:04 AM (1 year, 8 months ago) |
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You’re a dumb as shit Anon giving bad advice. I’m a dumb as shit Anon pointing it out.
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