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Anonymous #1

Unsatisfied woman needs advice *DELETED* * 2
    #27673250 - 02/25/22 03:36 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Post deleted by Anonymous

Reason for deletion: delete


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Anonymous #2

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #1] * 3
    #27673253 - 02/25/22 03:44 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Get him to practice keegles. Buy him a drum set to build coordination. Discuss your fantasies with him.


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OfflineBlue Cthulhu
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Posts: 495
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Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #2] * 2
    #27673309 - 02/25/22 04:44 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

How about sex while tripping together, or on the come-down from tripping? Just asking since psychedelics tend to dissolve old patterns and enhance creativity and openness


--------------------
"Things are true that I forget, but no one taught that to me yet." :aliendance:
A disembodied-re-embodied consciousness be-ing
(With all the accoutrements.)


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Anonymous #3

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #1] * 3
    #27673392 - 02/25/22 05:50 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Print out your post and give it to him,
some people can't take hints...

Get him some viagra,  it makes me last longer...

Take him to a sex shop and yall pick out stuff that you'd like (be it a strap on for him to wear if he needs to, if he's iffy about it just tell him it's for double penatration but don't let him stop till you come.)

I'd tell him exactly what you told us tho... communication is key


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Anonymous #1

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice *DELETED* [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #27673517 - 02/25/22 08:14 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Post deleted by Anonymous

Reason for deletion: delete


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InvisibleMr.GuessWork
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Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27673896 - 02/26/22 06:54 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

I don't know him or you, but I believe there's hope. I think you should keep pushing him a bit and be careful to avoid frustration. I'm tempted to call him a lazy bastard myself, so I get where your coming from, but I suspect there are psychological hangups at play that are better addressed within a supportive environment. That doesn't mean you should settle for anything less than his best efforts though. You can playfully tease him a little and egg him on during sex if he won't do easy stuff or try new things; it's important to encourage experimentation so people can test new and old boundaries, and doing it playfully can make it feel less threatening and more engaging. You can also have some supportive pillow talk if he's dropping the ball on something too easy to miss like wiggling his hips (come on guy...); I'd use that space to talk about stuff where you don't feel understood, and I'd be careful to make sure to keep the tone supportive. Be clear about what you want, but make sure you don't push too hard and that you give him a way to stay productively engaged in the problem space. It's kind of like teaching a kid to tie his shoes; you need to be both supportive and honest with feedback\criticism. Too little criticism and the shoes won't stay tied, and with a lack support the kid won't even try and he won't listen to the criticism. If you keep constructively working on the problem and stay somewhat goal focused, then the real reasons for the hangups should either come to light or resolve themselves. You have to take some risks when you communicate though. Otherwise you're not going to be heard or taken seriously, and you'll only have yourself to blame when you settle for vanilla inorgasmic sex (come on lady...).


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Anonymous #4

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Mr.GuessWork] * 2
    #27673906 - 02/26/22 07:03 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

I don't know, I'm not sure how much this is resolvable to some extent. To do freaky things you got to be a bit of a freak. Interesting topic, excited to hear more. Either way, you both will need to make compromises if the chemistry isn't perfect.


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Anonymous #5

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #27674024 - 02/26/22 09:50 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Sorry to say it but your husband doesn't prioritize your sexual needs.  Saying his wrist doesn't move that way is a lame excuse
I make my lady squirt sucking her clit and fingering her g-spot and it hurts but I do it anyway

You seem like an awesome partner and seriously, reaching around to rub the clit isn't difficult.  To me, seeing my woman get off is just as good as getting off myself

Sorry your man is a selfish prick.  Sounds like you've been reasonable and said enough things already that if he gave a shit he would've done something about it by now

I say cut him off cause it's clearly one sided


Edited by Anonymous (02/28/22 12:00 AM)


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Anonymous #4

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #27674082 - 02/26/22 10:57 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Bro how are you going to say "cut him off" to someone who is the father of her children AND is someone she clearly loves because they aren't sexually compatible?


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Anonymous #5

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #4] * 1
    #27674117 - 02/26/22 11:35 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Not compatible?  What kind of person would you say is compatible with an obviously a selfish asshole?  He doesn't care about her sexual needs so why should his be fulfilled? 

IMO OP has allowed herself to be taken advantage of by showing that she's a giver.  Most men would love to have a woman like that but this guy doesn't deserve her.  She needs a man, not a boy


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Anonymous #1

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice *DELETED* [Re: Anonymous #5] * 1
    #27674146 - 02/26/22 11:55 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Post deleted by Anonymous

Reason for deletion: delete


Edited by Anonymous (02/26/22 12:05 PM)


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Anonymous #5

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #27674155 - 02/26/22 12:04 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Sorry to take things in a direction you didn't like.  I just don't understand men that don't want their women as satisfied as possible and I hate seeing things out of balance in relationships
Is he by any chance religious?


Edited by Anonymous (02/28/22 12:02 AM)


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Anonymous #1

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice *DELETED* [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #27674213 - 02/26/22 12:36 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Post deleted by Anonymous

Reason for deletion: delete


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Anonymous #5

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27674254 - 02/26/22 01:04 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

I was asking because sometimes religion makes people feel too dirty to really explore their darker sexual side.

I know this sounds like a dangerous game, but if played correctly it could pay off big time for both of you.  Try explaining that his lack of concern for your needs that you have expressed is leaving you feeling unimportant and that your mind can't help but drift into thinking of being with other men that would be more willing to fulfill you.  Sometime jealousy works, sometimes it backfires so you have to be careful if you play that card


Edited by Anonymous (02/28/22 12:04 AM)


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Anonymous #5

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27674264 - 02/26/22 01:11 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
then he likes to bend me over a table and have sex until HE cums. He never tries to stimulate me. I have a magic wand Vibrator that we will bring into the mix sometimes for clit stimulation, but that is the only way I will cum. I have never had an orgasm with him without a toy.




This is very telling and after reading your first post again, it's pretty fucked up that you're so willing to do these things that most women won't and yet he has never made you cum without a toy?

It sounds like he thinks of you as a sex doll


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Anonymous #4

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #27674313 - 02/26/22 01:44 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

I remain of the opinion that not everyone is into the openess that other's are and there isn't much you can do-- if someone doesn't like a finger in their butt, they're not going to suddenly like a finger in their butt (I say this as someone who has had more than a finger in his butt). I think ultimately y'all should try and experiment but also, people are people. You may not be 100% compatible and I hesitate to say the grass is always greener, because the grass is always green unless you stop watering it. But also grass that is brown can be green again. So I personally just water my own damn grass and don't really care about other's grass enough because I KNOW my grass is greener. You catch my drift?

It's great to fantasize but I would not recommend chasing fantasy. You *could* have better sex but you ARE having good sex.


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Anonymous #5

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #4] * 1
    #27674326 - 02/26/22 01:57 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Good sex happens when both people get off by what the other person does.  From what OP said, she doesn't cum that often by her husbands actions

Yes, some people aren't that into experimenting and that's a shame.  I tried some kinky stuff a couple times.  It wasn't my thing though so it only happened twice.  The second time was just to make sure I wasn't going to get into it

Fast forward a couple years and I found out she told some people about it so no more kinky shit for her anymore!
:babypalm:


Edited by Anonymous (02/28/22 12:11 AM)


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Anonymous #1

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice *DELETED* [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #27674341 - 02/26/22 02:07 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Post deleted by Anonymous

Reason for deletion: delete


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Anonymous #5

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #1] * 2
    #27674372 - 02/26/22 02:23 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
I love him, and I can't have an affair. I can't lie, and say it had never crossed my mind. But how selfish would that be! It's not all about me, I can get a orgasam with a Vibrator.




The fact that you don't want to make it all about you says you're a kind and decent woman and honestly I'm feeling a little jealous of your husband.  It's hard to find that balance of having the appropriate level of making things about ourselves while not excluding other peoples' feelings.  I think he's luckier to have you than he realizes.  I don't know how much you've tried to communicate these needs to him but I wish you luck and hope you can get through to him


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Invisibler3volution.gurl
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Registered: 10/20/21
Posts: 6,250
Loc: Canada Flag
Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #5] * 2
    #27674710 - 02/26/22 07:12 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

If you don't already do this, use the wand vibrator on your clit while he is fucking you from behind.

He needs to masturbate more often so he can last longer. If he's not willing to do that, viagara will definitely make him last longer. It's not something to be ashamed of. It's not like he has an issue of getting it up and you should explain that to him. MDMA works too, but he wouldn't want to do that all the time lol

You need to communicate to him none of this is to hurt his feelings because if anything your feelings really should be hurt cause he is not that interested in making you orgasm lol 

As far as him performing oral on you or fingering you.. you need to ask him why he isn't interested in it cause honestly from my experience I haven't met a guy who isn't. Mind you a lot of them are terrible at it.


--------------------

"Souls love. Thats what souls do. Egos dont, but souls do. Become a soul, look around, and youll be amazed-all the beings around you are souls. Be one, see one. When many people have this heart connection, then we will know that we are all one, we human beings all over the planet. We will be one. One love. And dont leave out the animals, and trees, and clouds, and galaxies: its all one. Its one energy." -Ram Dass


Edited by r3volution.gurl (02/27/22 09:59 AM)


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Invisiblestagger
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Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Blue Cthulhu]
    #27674984 - 02/27/22 12:48 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

..


Edited by stagger (02/27/22 01:44 AM)


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Offlineblackhawk
Newton's Law of Majesticity
I'm a teapot


Registered: 04/02/11
Posts: 8,465
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Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #27675168 - 02/27/22 08:14 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #3 said:
Get him some viagra,  it makes me last longer...






I don't last very long in doggystyle, but the longest i've lasted and been able to really pound away fiercely without cumming was when I drank some poppy seed tea. That is probably the worst advice, though. There were also times with 4-aco-dmt where I've struggled to cum while masturbating no matter how hard I was jacking it, but I'm not sure how it would work during sex.

I have tried cialis, but that did nothing different for me as far as enurance goes.

Quote:

Anonymous #5 said:
Sorry to say it but your husband doesn't prioritize your sexual needs.  Saying his wrist doesn't move that way is a lame fucking excuse
I make my lady squirt all the time sucking her clit and fingering her g-spot and with my spinal injury it hurts like hell but I do it anyway



My wrist and forearms will burn with lactic acid and I wont stop until she squirts. I just really wanted to see the end result.


--------------------


Edited by blackhawk (02/27/22 08:25 AM)


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Anonymous #5

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: blackhawk]
    #27675424 - 02/27/22 12:05 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Quote:

blackhawk said:
My wrist and forearms will burn with lactic acid and I wont stop until she squirts. I just really wanted to see the end result.





:fistbump:


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Anonymous #1

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice *DELETED* [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #27676061 - 02/27/22 07:43 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Post deleted by Anonymous

Reason for deletion: delete


Edited by Anonymous (02/27/22 09:52 PM)


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Anonymous #1

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice *DELETED* [Re: Anonymous #1] * 9
    #27676309 - 02/27/22 10:27 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Post deleted by Anonymous

Reason for deletion: delete


Edited by Anonymous (02/27/22 10:41 PM)


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Invisibler3volution.gurl
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Registered: 10/20/21
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Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #27676334 - 02/27/22 10:48 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

:youshouldtapthat::lol::heart:

Why delete them, you're anonymous anyways
:leocheers:


--------------------

"Souls love. Thats what souls do. Egos dont, but souls do. Become a soul, look around, and youll be amazed-all the beings around you are souls. Be one, see one. When many people have this heart connection, then we will know that we are all one, we human beings all over the planet. We will be one. One love. And dont leave out the animals, and trees, and clouds, and galaxies: its all one. Its one energy." -Ram Dass


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Anonymous #1

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice *DELETED* [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27676339 - 02/27/22 10:50 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Post deleted by Anonymous

Reason for deletion: delete


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Invisibler3volution.gurl
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Registered: 10/20/21
Posts: 6,250
Loc: Canada Flag
Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27676351 - 02/27/22 10:58 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Actually, not for the moderators of this specific forum.:smilingpuppy:

My bad, I just looked it up.

For everyone else you are totally anonymous though.
:awedance:


--------------------

"Souls love. Thats what souls do. Egos dont, but souls do. Become a soul, look around, and youll be amazed-all the beings around you are souls. Be one, see one. When many people have this heart connection, then we will know that we are all one, we human beings all over the planet. We will be one. One love. And dont leave out the animals, and trees, and clouds, and galaxies: its all one. Its one energy." -Ram Dass


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Anonymous #1

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice *DELETED* [Re: r3volution.gurl]
    #27676353 - 02/27/22 11:01 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Post deleted by Anonymous

Reason for deletion: delete


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Invisibler3volution.gurl
Female User Gallery


Registered: 10/20/21
Posts: 6,250
Loc: Canada Flag
Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27676365 - 02/27/22 11:09 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

:nogodno:

I'm not a moderator, so you're anonymous to me:awesome:


--------------------

"Souls love. Thats what souls do. Egos dont, but souls do. Become a soul, look around, and youll be amazed-all the beings around you are souls. Be one, see one. When many people have this heart connection, then we will know that we are all one, we human beings all over the planet. We will be one. One love. And dont leave out the animals, and trees, and clouds, and galaxies: its all one. Its one energy." -Ram Dass


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Anonymous #1

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice *DELETED* [Re: r3volution.gurl] * 3
    #27676382 - 02/27/22 11:18 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Post deleted by Anonymous

Reason for deletion: delete


Edited by Anonymous (02/27/22 11:38 PM)


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Anonymous #5

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #1] * 2
    #27677067 - 02/28/22 03:17 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

:dealwithwhat:


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Offlineblackhawk
Newton's Law of Majesticity
I'm a teapot


Registered: 04/02/11
Posts: 8,465
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Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #5] * 4
    #27677109 - 02/28/22 04:06 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)



Diggin' the fur


--------------------


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OfflineStrech
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Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: blackhawk]
    #27677299 - 02/28/22 07:04 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Sorry to hear of your troubles.




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Anonymous #1

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice *DELETED* [Re: blackhawk] * 4
    #27677534 - 02/28/22 10:03 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Post deleted by Anonymous

Reason for deletion: delete


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Anonymous #1

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice *DELETED* [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #27677640 - 02/28/22 11:19 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Post deleted by Anonymous

Reason for deletion: delete


Edited by Anonymous (03/01/22 01:16 PM)


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Offlineschpat
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Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #1] * 2
    #27679242 - 03/02/22 07:10 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

If he finishes pretty quickly then you may not be able to that long hard pounding you're looking for.  But all is not lost. 

While you may not get everything you want right away you can work within the parameters you have and start with something that has a low barrier to entry.

As an example get a nice penetrative dildo toy, lie on your back while he lies next to you kissing you and use it on yourself. Then once you have your rhythm get him to take over with the toy.  It'll be much easier and won't require contortion.  Give him as much attention as possible while you are busy, make sure you cum before he stops.

PS: I didn't see page two before I posted... those are some pretty sexy pics! Congratulations.


--------------------


Edited by schpat (03/02/22 07:14 AM)


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OfflineChhinnamasta
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Registered: 03/02/22
Posts: 47
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: schpat]
    #27679482 - 03/02/22 09:53 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

IMO just have an affair.
The western mind has been so poisoned by Romanticism and especially Goethe.

Before Romanticism, a marriage was closer to a business arrangement that was based on rational choice and what was best for raising children and gaining wealth. The Disney rated G version of marriage is just a retelling of classic Romanticism.

We just aren't monogamous birds that mate for life. There is nothing immoral about violating ideas from fiction just because the ideas are so ubiquitous that most people have forgot these ideas are from fiction.


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Anonymous #4

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Chhinnamasta] * 2
    #27679741 - 03/02/22 01:33 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

You could argue that point, but the caveat is that you should have an open conversation with the other party involved about that. You're fucked up in my book if you play in the shadows knowing full well you would be causing psychological harm to the person you're hiding from.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice *DELETED* [Re: Anonymous #4] * 4
    #27679763 - 03/02/22 02:09 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Post deleted by Anonymous

Reason for deletion: delete


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Anonymous #2

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27679778 - 03/02/22 02:30 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Invest in a fucking machine!

You could explore other avenues too, such as role play, bondage, etc, see where that gets ya.

The two of you could always look into swinging also.

The solutions are everywhere the problem isn't.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice *DELETED* [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #27679789 - 03/02/22 02:45 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Post deleted by Anonymous

Reason for deletion: delete


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Anonymous #6

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27679807 - 03/02/22 02:59 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Is this something new or has he always been lame in bed? 10 years is along time to go unsatisfied....


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Anonymous #4

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #6] * 2
    #27679816 - 03/02/22 03:10 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

There are definitely attractive swingers. You just have to find the right crowd


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Anonymous #7

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #27680394 - 03/03/22 12:57 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Hot pics. :wink:

Thanks for sharing :yesnod:

Some guys just arent built for wild and crazy "porn sex". Its like a gift for some guys. I think you have no choice but to open up your marriage to other guys and in trade, he gets to have sex with other women, to keep everything fair.

I feel like monogamy in the long run just isnt practical.


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Invisiblehummingbird

Registered: 06/29/14
Posts: 2,134
Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #7] * 1
    #27681907 - 03/04/22 02:41 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

I think it's important to remember the fact that it sounds like everything else but sometimes the sex is going well. That's what is actually hard to find in someone. Don't play games or cheat, that's not going to help in the end. It sounds like you have good morals and won't go that route anyways, which is cool. I don't think you should lose hope with this.

Definitely have more sex and talk about it as well while tripping together. Sex on mushrooms can be awesome, as well as the ability to connect deeper about stuff. I'm not usually interested in sex when I'm full blown tripping, and physically it doesn't usually work then...but towards the beginning or the end of a trip it seems to work out better. If you have access to MDMA and are interested, that would be a good thing to try together too. I definitely last longer having sex on that, and it's a great tool for talking about things as well. Alcohol can negatively affect sex(and communication) sometimes, especially a little too much...maybe keep an eye on that.

It would probably help if he masturbated more, but you can't exactly make someone do that. You should play around with edging with him though, I think that would help for sure. Not fingering while eating pussy is lazy, sorry, that's not difficult(my apology if he has bad wrists, lol) Reach around clit rub from behind is more tricky especially if you want him to do that while giving it to you rough. You should get a foam wedge or put pillows under your lower back/hips so he can hit your g spot easier if he doesn't want to/can't work angles.

Communication is key obviously. If you bring this kind of stuff up in a cute playful way, especially in the moment...you're much more likely to get through how you want to IMO. Maybe you can gradually turn him into the beast you want him to be sometimes.


Awesome body, btw. You have nice nipples and perfect pubic hair length.


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Anonymous #8

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27682140 - 03/04/22 07:49 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

I am like the male version of you. But worse.
In my 50s. Married for 25 years to a woman who never "enjoyed" sex.
I LOVE SEX!

I would try to go down on her and she would push me away.
She never let me lick her. Just the old in and out. A few times when I beg she would reluctantly suck me in the early days.
Sex became less and less frequent, and feel more rapey.  She says it's uncomfortable.
She would NEVER reach out and touch my body unless I ask her to.

I can only fantasize about what it would be like to have a wild woman again.
Mostly I miss licking pussy.
(I have had several ex-girlfriends who enjoyed having sex!)

She also hates all drugs except alcohol.  And my state just legalized cannabis. :rolleyes:
But I love her, so that's it.


Edited by Anonymous (03/04/22 07:35 PM)


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Anonymous #7

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #27682450 - 03/04/22 12:06 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

That sounds awful Anon #8. I couldn't do it.

Anon #1 Ive read that even lesbians like gay porn in some cases. Im sure many women dream of a threesum with 2 guys who are bi. Women seem to be more open minded about sex and attraction in my experience.


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Invisibler3volution.gurl
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Registered: 10/20/21
Posts: 6,250
Loc: Canada Flag
Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #7] * 1
    #27682575 - 03/04/22 02:18 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #7 said:
Im sure many women dream of a threesum with 2 guys who are bi.




Hell yeah


--------------------

"Souls love. Thats what souls do. Egos dont, but souls do. Become a soul, look around, and youll be amazed-all the beings around you are souls. Be one, see one. When many people have this heart connection, then we will know that we are all one, we human beings all over the planet. We will be one. One love. And dont leave out the animals, and trees, and clouds, and galaxies: its all one. Its one energy." -Ram Dass


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Anonymous #1

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice *DELETED* *DELETED* [Re: r3volution.gurl] * 1
    #27686839 - 03/07/22 11:18 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Post deleted by Anonymous

Reason for deletion: delete


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Invisiblehummingbird

Registered: 06/29/14
Posts: 2,134
Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #27686876 - 03/08/22 12:04 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

I bet not very many guys dream of having a threesome with 2 bi girls though...j/k.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice *DELETED* [Re: hummingbird]
    #27686881 - 03/08/22 12:17 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Post deleted by Anonymous

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Invisiblehummingbird

Registered: 06/29/14
Posts: 2,134
Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #1] * 2
    #27686883 - 03/08/22 12:22 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Yeah, there's probably a couple of them out there I bet.


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Invisiblenooneman
Male

Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 14,555
Loc: Utah
Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27686900 - 03/08/22 12:45 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

First of all, you should tell your boyfriend/husband all of this stuff if you haven't already. That's step 1.

Let's say things stay the same forever. How long could you live like that? It's a legit choice to choose to live like you are now forever, but that would be the choice you'd have to make. You'd be choosing the person you're with over your sexual fulfillment, and if you love that person enough that can be a legitimate decision. Many people have done it for many generations.

The alternative seems like breaking up, either now or eventually. But that comes with risks too; you might find yourself in the same situation with someone else, or with different problems altogether. You have to choose what you're willing to deal with, and it's a gamble every time. You never know how things are going to turn out.

If you tell him and nothing changes in the long run, then you really have to decide how important this is to you, and whether or not you're willing to try again with someone else. Things there might be worse, or better, who knows. You'll have to decide for yourself if you want to choose that over this, and it comes down to how important this is to you compared to the other things in your relationship.

If it's very important to you, then you should probably gamble.


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Invisibler3volution.gurl
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Registered: 10/20/21
Posts: 6,250
Loc: Canada Flag
Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27686948 - 03/08/22 02:43 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Quote:

r3volution.gurl said:
Quote:

Anonymous #7 said:
Im sure many women dream of a threesum with 2 guys who are bi.




Hell yeah




I second that "Hell yeah"!

Gurl! I just finished a book tonight and I think you will LOVE it! It's goodness...


If you don't audible yet, I can send to you as a gift




OoOoo looks good I would love that! We'll be in touch:wink:

I was actually thinking about you the other day while I was watching the Amy Wong: Don Wong Netflix comedy special. I feel like you'd enjoy it too.

If you don't have Netflix I can send you a link.


--------------------

"Souls love. Thats what souls do. Egos dont, but souls do. Become a soul, look around, and youll be amazed-all the beings around you are souls. Be one, see one. When many people have this heart connection, then we will know that we are all one, we human beings all over the planet. We will be one. One love. And dont leave out the animals, and trees, and clouds, and galaxies: its all one. Its one energy." -Ram Dass


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Anonymous #1

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice *DELETED* [Re: r3volution.gurl] * 7
    #27694495 - 03/14/22 12:27 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Post deleted by Anonymous

Reason for deletion: delete


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Offlinepslyke
fantasmagoric
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Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27694865 - 03/14/22 10:37 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

🍆


--------------------
"What appears impenetrable to us does exist, manifesting itself in the deepest wisdom and the most radiant beauty" Einstein

"The conservatives of 70 years ago would be outraged at what has come to pass. It embodies everything they took up arms for to defeat"Asante


:kratom:


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Anonymous #7

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27695034 - 03/14/22 01:29 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Very sexy and creative! You are a catch :wink:


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Offlineasterix
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Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #7] * 1
    #27695580 - 03/14/22 08:25 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

I used to have wild and crazy sex several times a day with my partner.  Better, more satisfying sex that I knew was actually possible until I found out it was.  She would squirt like MAD and multiple orgasm and let me stick it wherever I wanted and everything. 

It was a wet dream come true. 

Then she totally lost her mojo for it.  She doesn't understand why, I don't understand why.

Im still with her and love her very much, won't leave her, and I would never cheat, but she's turned me into an incel.

Oh well, at least there's still porn.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice *DELETED* *DELETED* [Re: asterix]
    #27695667 - 03/14/22 09:40 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Post deleted by Anonymous

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Offlineasterix
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Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #27695744 - 03/14/22 10:42 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

We are both in our late 40's.  Been together about 10 years,

I guess it must be the menopause.  But it happened so suddenly.  Like someone flicked a switch.

The last time we did it, it was as if she found her own orgasms uncomfortable.

Our sex was so pleasurable and uninhibited. I felt things I never knew could be felt.  And she would just come and come and come, we would go through a few towels every time we did it. I didn't think she'd ever get tired of it.


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Anonymous #9

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: asterix]
    #27695769 - 03/14/22 11:17 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Meth and Molly makes you do things you don’t normally do sexually and  once you break the ICE there’s no going back keep the ball ROLLIN !!


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Anonymous #1

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice *DELETED* [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #27695795 - 03/14/22 11:59 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Post deleted by Anonymous

Reason for deletion: delete


Edited by Anonymous (03/15/22 09:01 AM)


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Anonymous #9

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27696142 - 03/15/22 10:07 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Yea sure I’ll be right there. As soon as I let my parole officer know I’m leaving. :smile:


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Anonymous #1

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice *DELETED* [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #27696206 - 03/15/22 11:09 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Post deleted by Anonymous

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Anonymous #10

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #1] * 2
    #27697257 - 03/16/22 04:55 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

I'm feeling unsatisfied with my current partner too.

In the past, I've had wild, amazing sex with girls. Sex is always better when you get to know a woman and gain her trust and smash boundaries together.

I've been with my girl now for 4 years and she is sexy as fuck but we never clicked sexually. I don't think we will ever be in sync but she is a great match as a life partner.

Unfortunately she just doesn't seem like she'll ever be a nasty girl that will blow my mind. I think someone's that I should just fool atound to scratch that itch.

edit

Anon 1, you're a babe, you deserve whatever you crave.


Edited by Anonymous (03/16/22 04:57 AM)


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Anonymous #1

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice *DELETED* [Re: Anonymous #10]
    #27697800 - 03/16/22 03:27 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Post deleted by Anonymous

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Offlineasterix
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Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27697906 - 03/16/22 04:42 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Actually there was one other factor that slipped my mind.

My partner was sexually abused as a child repeatedly by her uncle.  He has since died and when the news of that reached her, that's really when this issue arose.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice *DELETED* [Re: asterix] * 2
    #27698369 - 03/17/22 12:06 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

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Anonymous #11

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #1] * 3
    #27698992 - 03/17/22 02:57 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Thanks Anon#1 for starting this topic and thanks everybody else for participating. At least for me it is enlightening in different kind of ways.

I'd like to share thoughts on #1's problem:

First and most important - you should TOTALLY get your hands on some acid.
Having sex while being on a mushroom trip is one thing, but while being on acid it's not just a whole different planet, it's a different solar system, ESPECIALLY if you sleep with somebody you love.
Words cannot describe the way it feels, but there will be no problems like "meh, he didn't smash hard and long enough" etc.
Sex on acid is the holy grail of mankind(i truly believe this) and i can feel it that you and your husband will join the believers ranks instantly.

With that being said, all other thoughts are just rubbish, but here it goes:

For those men who share their seed to early, they shall try 25-50mg of sertraline in the morning they are willing to mate with their wifes.

Black maca root powder does make a diffence for him.

So does a tea of Turnera diffusa the day before the intercourse.

That sounds like a lot of planning, but if one just starts experimenting, nothing can go wrong.

Again: Sex on acid is the key. Trust me, although I'm stranger from the internet whose native language isn't english. :laugh:


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Anonymous #1

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice *DELETED* [Re: Anonymous #11]
    #27699700 - 03/18/22 02:12 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

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Anonymous #1

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice *DELETED* [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #27699708 - 03/18/22 02:35 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Post deleted by Anonymous

Reason for deletion: delete


Edited by Anonymous (03/18/22 07:25 AM)


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Anonymous #4

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #27699772 - 03/18/22 05:45 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:





Does your husband know you're posting sexy photos online for other men to look at? I ask because, by my standards, you are cheating right now if you did so without us talking about it. And as a married woman, regardless of your own personal situation and needs, you should examine that. There are different degrees of cheating, and posting sexy photos to others online when your husband doesn't know about it is the start to nullifying vows, provided those vows are traditional and involve commitment to each other physically, emotionally, spiritually and psychologically. I'm making a lot of assumptions here, but I think I can make them provided your progressing story and earlier stated values.

If you two both consented to these pics, disregard this. I get the sense that this thread is unbeknownst to your husband. Is this the case?

In response to your entry about the situation as you approached it, I truly emphasize with you. It can be extremely dismissive and disheartening for anyone to put in the effort for someone else only to be rejected, especially on the grounds that he is sexually selfish. It does seem he is sexually selfish; but this couldn't have come out of nowhere-- why does he view cumming in the way he does? What are his beliefs on pleasure? It almost sounds like he believes sexual pleasure to be obstructive; as a deed he must do. Was this always the case? Is this a new pattern? Did something significant happen that changed his attitude towards himself and his own pleasure? Did you both have a falling out? Do you both connect on issues outside of sexuality?

One of the subthemes I'm noticing is that, regardless of your statements, you are making this issue about yourself; a need to be pleasured, a need to be wanted, a need to escape (e.g. I didn't get the attention I need, now I want to smoke weed --> you're chasing pleasure, which is awfully close to escapism). I am not saying this to accuse you, rather shed another light-- that this issue likely has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with you. It is a him problem and a you problem; and you must choose how to respond to it. I think if you were single, this would be a non-issue. But as a married woman, you have a commitment to him, and he has a commitment to you. It seems you are trying to be a committed wife and prioritizing him and he is not viewing you in the same light; i.e. it seems as though he isn't putting your needs as a priority to him. Why is he so focused on himself? Is this new? If this is how he has always been, why is it bothering you now? What is the most important thing for you in a relationship? What does sex do for you? Would him having sex with you the way you want it to be had with you solve the central issue that is driving you to post these pictures in the first place?


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Anonymous #12

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #27699773 - 03/18/22 05:45 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

“I take care to make sure I have an orgasm, and It is your responsibility to make sure you have one."

Everyone is lazy sometimes but that's not how sex works between a loving couple. Both parties need to put effort in to yourself and the other. I'm sure a lot of what you said is just in the heat of the moment. Honestly the conversation could have gone worse, and I wouldn't overthink it. If he's a good man he'll take it to heart, get over it, and work toward change. But you probably need to change too, in one way or another. You have to change and evolve together, you can't just give him a list of requirements and hope he meets them.

I wanted to say much earlier in this thread, - about your title - it could have just been "woman needs advice." As humourous as I find that I know I have a point. And so do you. You are very in your feelings, and while I recognize you're frustrated the only way forward in these situations is to not get in your own head.

Just to make it clear I'm not trying to diminish your experience at all. Life is complicated. But that long winded diatribe expemplifies the type of behaviour most people don't want to deal with.  I mean lets be real here, you could tell he wanted you to be sexy or some shit or suck his dick, and your response was (from his perspective) to insult him and start an argument. It was poor timing on your part. Next time just make him eat your pussy. Guide his hand instead of telling him where and when to put it and explaining how poorly he's been using said hands. Perspective is a powerful thing.


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Anonymous #12

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #27699774 - 03/18/22 05:46 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #4 said:
Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:





Does your husband know you're posting sexy photos online for other men to look at? I ask because, by my standards, you are cheating right now if you did so without us talking about it. And as a married woman, regardless of your own personal situation and needs, you should examine that. There are different degrees of cheating, and posting sexy photos to others online when your husband doesn't know about it is the start to nullifying vows, provided those vows are traditional and involve commitment to each other physically, emotionally, spiritually and psychologically. I'm making a lot of assumptions here, but I think I can make them provided your progressing story and earlier stated values.

If you two both consented to these pics, disregard this. I get the sense that this thread is unbeknownst to your husband. Is this the case?



I agree


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Anonymous #11

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27699778 - 03/18/22 05:53 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Makes me sad to read the update and see those melancholic eyes of yours.

Won't write some stupid dalailama'ish nonsense like "it's going to be fine, just stay strong".

Pain is relative and every down can feel like a catastrophe.
People have felt the way you feel, and will feel like that on countless occasions in the future.
Dig into it, experience the pain and dissapointment and find yourself again and again and again.

It's a shame you live on the other side of the planet, otherwise i'd love to help connect you and your husband, a neutral outsider sometimes is the key.
(usa people of the shroomery, here's your opportunity to be shaman in the most origin way - take your chance and offer some help?)

My initial thought concerning the acid and sex thing remains, it will never be the same afterwards.
Especially concerning your husband - he just needs a different angle of view(or point of view?).
But also you: In his mind he is the strong male, who maybe thought for years that he is capable of pleasuring you enough.
Now that you confront him with his incapability maybe is a HUGE attack on his ego. Eventually he will see, that when he goes through this journey with you he'll be able to please you and have evidence - gaining even more value in the cis-male-system for him.

Wishing you all the best!


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Anonymous #12

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #11] * 2
    #27699781 - 03/18/22 05:59 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Confront him when? When did she confront him? Was it the right time? It's a sensitive topic for her but when it comes to him he's got a fragile ego? Yeah I'd caution against this kind of bias. "If only we could meet up I'd be SOO helpful." Lawl. Some of y'all are so creepy and transparent asf


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Anonymous #4

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #12] * 3
    #27699786 - 03/18/22 06:06 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #12 said:
Confront him when? When did she confront him? Was it the right time? It's a sensitive topic for her but when it comes to him he's got a fragile ego? Yeah I'd caution against this kind of bias. "If only we could meet up I'd be SOO helpful." Lawl. Some of y'all are so creepy and transparent asf




I'll ally with Anon #12 here and remind people that the shroomery is not a place for professional help, which I think this thread has officially arrived at. Compared to the general population, on the Shroomery you have a higher than average shot of getting advice from someone with amphetamines in their blood who have porn open in the tab just to the left of you. And to be honest, I don't think any of us would approach a random person on the street and ask for marriage advice of this caliber.

OP: would you be willing to re-start couples therapy/individual therapy so you have a safe avenue to explore these themes?


Edited by Anonymous (03/18/22 06:17 AM)


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Offlineberrymybody
great person


Registered: 03/29/16
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Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #27699953 - 03/18/22 09:34 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #4 said:
Quote:

Anonymous #12 said:
Confront him when? When did she confront him? Was it the right time? It's a sensitive topic for her but when it comes to him he's got a fragile ego? Yeah I'd caution against this kind of bias. "If only we could meet up I'd be SOO helpful." Lawl. Some of y'all are so creepy and transparent asf




I'll ally with Anon #12 here and remind people that the shroomery is not a place for professional help, which I think this thread has officially arrived at. Compared to the general population, on the Shroomery you have a higher than average shot of getting advice from someone with amphetamines in their blood who have porn open in the tab just to the left of you. And to be honest, I don't think any of us would approach a random person on the street and ask for marriage advice of this caliber.

OP: would you be willing to re-start couples therapy/individual therapy so you have a safe avenue to explore these themes?




:lol:


--------------------
boldly going nowhere :alien:


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Anonymous #1

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice *DELETED* [Re: berrymybody]
    #27699989 - 03/18/22 10:12 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

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Offlineberrymybody
great person


Registered: 03/29/16
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Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27700027 - 03/18/22 10:51 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Intimacy is hard. I wish it were just a physical thing, because that would make it a whole lot easier. Not to sound corny but maybe it will get better by enriching other parts of your relationship :shrug:


--------------------
boldly going nowhere :alien:


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InvisibleMr.GuessWork
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Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #27700057 - 03/18/22 11:18 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
I just had time to sit down, read over what I posted last night and responses. He doesn't know about this post, and would be very upset about pictures. I am obviously not handling this situation well, and feel lost and disappointed. Obviously seeking attention and lonely. I hate I even brought it up last night. He was really quiet this morning, and wants to discuss it more tonight, but I really don't want to anymore. I'm tired of thinking and worrying about it, and after the way things went last night... I just want to forget I even addressed the situation. I might discuss going to therapy with him in the future. I'm just feeling defeated and ashamed about the pics. That is not classy at all, and did not want to portray myself in a trashy manner. But feeling lonely and desperate is a dangerous thing. I'm starting to feel like I am the selfish one here, I don't know who is in the wrong, and confused on what to do next to further handle the issue. I am going to step away from this thread awhile, and just focus on work and family, keep my head down and keep moving forward. We can't have it all, and this is just something I will learn to accept. Thanks again for the input.




I get where you're coming from, and I don't blame you for feeling embarrassed. We all go crazy and fuck up sometimes. Seeing you post pics like that made me think you were a bit crazy, but reading this post makes me think you're sane. It'll all make more sense in hindsight, particularly if you work through what's going on and get a satisfying resolution to the issue. Don't be too hard on yourself right now. It won't help anybody, and it'll interfere with the productive stuff that you and your husband could be doing to find a mutually beneficial solution to the problem. It's pretty clear that you like the guy and want a happy sex life with him rather than with the fools you were experimenting with showing pics to. Take away some confidence in that from this unpleasant experience and use it to move forward with your husband. Give the dude a chance to work on the topic with you and don't wuss out on the conversation because you're scared or embarrassed by what happened here or by what could happen with him. You don't even have to confess about the pics or the thread. I'm sure he loves you and he'd get over it eventually if you told him about it, and that's up to you, but you don't have to do it now if you think it's a bad idea. You could stick to the issue at hand and just talk about the sex and what you want to try with him and how you feel. Most guys like to try solve problems when they understand them, sex problems included. I'm sure he'd be happy to try to help you out and work on it with you, even if you feel like your imposing. At the very least, it beats doing the dishes as far a favors go.


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Invisibler3volution.gurl
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Registered: 10/20/21
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Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #1] * 2
    #27700142 - 03/18/22 12:39 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

First of all, don't ever feel guilty about any attempts you make to try and feel happy. I would continue the conversation when he's ready and wouldn't let it go until there is some sort of respectful understanding or compromise. I would mention how important compromise is in a relationship in order for you both to be happy and have a successful relationship for the rest of your lives.

Also, don't feel like you've cheated or are cheating by sharing your sexy pictures. Your intentions were not because you're looking for someone else to be with and you are generally an open person sexually which people who aren't literally think flirting with someone else is cheating. I wouldn't take any advice regarding that personally cause it's the attention from the pictures you were seeking and any man who is upset about his woman's sexy photos online or on social media in general is very insecure in my opinion. If your husband held up his end of the marriage as far as compromising both your needs, you wouldn't be here making this thread.

I agree that couples therapy would definitely help and there's nothing to be ashamed of in getting professional help. I'd advise seeing a PhD psychologist. They are personally the best to provide life long tools in my opinion and I've seen many different professionals, therapists, psychiatrists, psychologists all of different levels of pricing and degrees.


--------------------

"Souls love. Thats what souls do. Egos dont, but souls do. Become a soul, look around, and youll be amazed-all the beings around you are souls. Be one, see one. When many people have this heart connection, then we will know that we are all one, we human beings all over the planet. We will be one. One love. And dont leave out the animals, and trees, and clouds, and galaxies: its all one. Its one energy." -Ram Dass


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Anonymous #4

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: r3volution.gurl] * 1
    #27700170 - 03/18/22 12:59 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Quote:

r3volution.gurl said:
First of all, don't ever feel guilty about any attempts you make to try and feel happy. I would continue the conversation when he's ready and wouldn't let it go until there is some sort of respectful understanding or compromise. I would mention how important compromise is in a relationship in order for you both to be happy and have a successful relationship for the rest of your lives.

Also, don't feel like you've cheated or are cheating by sharing your sexy pictures. Your intentions were not because you're looking for someone else to be with and you are generally an open person sexually which people who aren't literally think flirting with someone else is cheating. I wouldn't take any advice regarding that personally cause it's the attention from the pictures you were seeking and any man who is upset about his woman's sexy photos online or on social media in general is very insecure in my opinion. If your husband held up his end of the marriage as far as compromising both your needs, you wouldn't be here making this thread.

I agree that couples therapy would definitely help and there's nothing to be ashamed of in getting professional help. I'd advise seeing a PhD psychologist. They are personally the best to provide life long tools in my opinion and I've seen many different professionals, therapists, psychiatrists, psychologists all of different levels of pricing and degrees.





For the benefit of conversation, if a man or woman is open about their shadow work then yes, that's not cheating. But if you are purposefully hiding the things you otherwise wouldn't tell your partner because you know it would compromise the partnership... well that's not partnership. The actions of cheating are a spectrum in my book, and the action categorically constitutes anything that would violate the trust of a partner. It depends on how the individuals themselves define that in the context of their partnership.

In the context of this conversation, she clearly knows that there are some psychological undertones here and she isn't doing this in the name of self-love; rather something else is preventing her from self-love and she is acting out because of the inability to appropriately express herself to her partner or to herself. Which is to say, OP you must explore your inner self and get to know yourself, so you can have self-love. That may involve divorce, that may not. There's an unknowable amount of outcomes here, but the best one is where you say "yes, I want this for me because I know what I want and I care enough about myself to fight for what I want for myself." That is up to you.

OP, correct me if I jump the gun here.
RevGirl, what do you think about that?


Edited by Anonymous (03/18/22 01:34 PM)


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Invisibler3volution.gurl
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Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #4] * 1
    #27700216 - 03/18/22 01:38 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

A violation of trust is not partnership correct. Which doesn't suddenly become cheating no matter your personal made up spectrum. Violations of trust aren't exclusive to cheating or sex. According to your personal made up spectrum, lying about anything would be considered cheating.

I respect your opinion, but I wouldn't take your advice personally. Especially since you're suggesting OP has no self love and is "acting out". As a woman, that's extremely offensive to correlate asking for help, posting sexy photos and wanting to do drugs as "acting out". Everyone has different coping mechanisms and it's wrong to judge them.

Does she need to seriously talk to her husband instead of holding it in like she has? Yes.

She made a concious choice to put her husband before herself and that doesn't equate to not having self love. It just means she greatly loves her husband. It's now time for them to compromise.

I do agree though exploring the inner self is a process which should always be encouraged.


--------------------

"Souls love. Thats what souls do. Egos dont, but souls do. Become a soul, look around, and youll be amazed-all the beings around you are souls. Be one, see one. When many people have this heart connection, then we will know that we are all one, we human beings all over the planet. We will be one. One love. And dont leave out the animals, and trees, and clouds, and galaxies: its all one. Its one energy." -Ram Dass


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Anonymous #4

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: r3volution.gurl] * 1
    #27700226 - 03/18/22 01:47 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Quote:

r3volution.gurl said:
I respect your opinion, but I wouldn't take your advice personally. Especially since you're suggesting OP has no self love and is "acting out". As a woman, that's extremely offensive to correlate asking for help, posting sexy photos and wanting to do drugs as "acting out". Everyone has different coping mechanisms and it's wrong to judge them.




https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acting_out

I'm using that phrase academically, no need to take it personally. It's a well documented phenomenon and pertains specifically to the actions she has described; doing something contradictory to her goals in order to satisfy drives which are not being addressed. Not all promiscuity is acting out, but promiscuity which is being done in the way it is being done here, is by definition acting out. Any feelings of "judgement," (which I suspect what you actually mean is the feelings of guilt and shame) you are assigning to the phrase "acting out" is a projection of yours onto this.

I personally regard lying as a violation of trust and when my partner has lied in the past, I have come to realize there was significant disturbance under the surface. Our relationship is much healthier and she is able to express herself even when I will argue over it. Lying is cheating in my book, in so much it is transgressing the relationship and using falsities for personal gain; that is lying turns the relationship into a zero-sum game where as clean truthful communication allows for partnership. No reason to lie. I take a hard Kantian stance on it.


Also, for sake of good conversation, I want to point out the hypocrisy of you making the judgement that it is "wrong" to judge. Either you are wrong (you said it is wrong to judge and therefore you are wrong for judging) or you are wrong (in this scenario, you are right that it is wrong to judge, but then you are wrong saying it is wrong to judge) here; you essentially boxed yourself into a corner of being wrong about that opinion. I'd say judgment is neither good nor bad, it is necessary.

Not here to berate you, but you got to hash that standpoint out into coherency. For your own sake of being better at making points :heart: hope you take this the way I intend it to be taken, in good faith.


Edited by Anonymous (03/18/22 02:05 PM)


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Invisibler3volution.gurl
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Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #27700319 - 03/18/22 03:10 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #4 said:
Quote:

r3volution.gurl said:
I respect your opinion, but I wouldn't take your advice personally. Especially since you're suggesting OP has no self love and is "acting out". As a woman, that's extremely offensive to correlate asking for help, posting sexy photos and wanting to do drugs as "acting out". Everyone has different coping mechanisms and it's wrong to judge them.




https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acting_out

I'm using that phrase academically, no need to take it personally. It's a well documented phenomenon and pertains specifically to the actions she has described; doing something contradictory to her goals in order to satisfy drives which are not being addressed.




Her goals are to get her husband to want to make her orgasm and for her to experience more sexual avenues with him. Asking for advice, posting sexy pictures and wanting to do drugs is not contradictory to those goals.

Quote:

Not all promiscuity is acting out, but promiscuity which is being done in the way it is being done here, is by definition acting out. Any feelings of "judgement," (which I suspect what you actually mean is the feelings of guilt and shame) you are assigning to the phrase "acting out" is a projection of yours onto this.




She is coping. If she was acting out by definition she would already be doing what she exclaims she physically desires, whenever and wherever she can attain it. Attention from sexy photos is minuscule in her desires she expressed. You haven't properly evaluated whether her husband finding out about these photos would indeed be as destructive as you're portraying. We can all agree her husband would be upset, for what reasons exactly are unknown to us. Would it be destructive to their relationship long term? Probably not if they can communicate properly and come to an understanding.

Also, posting sexy pictures isn't promiscuity.

Promiscuous:
Quote:

having or involving many sexual partners : not restricted to one sexual partner or few sexual partners




https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/promiscuous

I'm not projecting cause I've never had these sorts of issues in my relationship so not sure what exactly you believe I'm projecting. I'm offended because sexy photos is the least of their problems in the situation and yet as a fellow woman, she is being told it's acting out, lying, cheating and now promiscuous? The sexy photos are not actually the issue, they are a coping mechanism of the issue. Just trying to correct the dangerous, completely unnecessary mental territory OP's mind was put in because of other people's personal opinions on the matter. Guilt and shame solves absolutely nothing in this situation for both parties for any reason.

Quote:

I personally regard lying as a violation of trust and when my partner has lied in the past, I have come to realize there was significant disturbance under the surface. Our relationship is much healthier and she is able to express herself even when I will argue over it. Lying is cheating in my book, in so much it is transgressing the relationship and using falsities for personal gain; that is lying turns the relationship into a zero-sum game where as clean truthful communication allows for partnership. No reason to lie. I take a hard Kantian stance on it.


Also, for sake of good conversation, I want to point out the hypocrisy of you making the judgement that it is "wrong" to judge. Either you are wrong or you are wrong here; you essentially boxed yourself into a corner of being wrong about that opinion. I'd say judgment is neither good nor bad.

Not here to berate you, but you got to hash that standpoint out into coherency. For your own sake of being better at making points :heart:




Like I said, I respect your opinion and you have every right to express them based on your experiences. That being said, don't act like your personal opinions on lying and cheating should apply to everyone to achieve a healthy and honest relationship long term especially for one which is struggling already outside of any legitimate cheating. I am happy you found rules and boundaries that work for your relationship which you consider healthy for the both of you.

I've had a successful open relationship going on 9 years. Our personal opinions about what works for us will not work for everyone else's relationships and vise versa. Everyone is different and has different expectations and needs.


--------------------

"Souls love. Thats what souls do. Egos dont, but souls do. Become a soul, look around, and youll be amazed-all the beings around you are souls. Be one, see one. When many people have this heart connection, then we will know that we are all one, we human beings all over the planet. We will be one. One love. And dont leave out the animals, and trees, and clouds, and galaxies: its all one. Its one energy." -Ram Dass


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Offlineblackhawk
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Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #12]
    #27700540 - 03/18/22 06:09 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #12 said:
Guide his hand instead of telling him where and when to put it and explaining how poorly he's been using said hands. Perspective is a powerful thing.




It's been established that hubby's hand can't rotate more than 3 degrees


--------------------


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Offlineberrymybody
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Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: blackhawk] * 1
    #27700638 - 03/18/22 07:48 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

The naked pics are beautiful and definitely a request for attention, but it’s no different than any of us being on this forum right now. In 2022 it’s amazing that this forum even exists. Im happy it does and that you guys are on her talking about stuff.

I also hope OP has an orgasm w her man soon and many to follow 🤞


--------------------
boldly going nowhere :alien:


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InvisibleMr.GuessWork
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Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: r3volution.gurl] * 2
    #27701061 - 03/19/22 06:57 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

So I think that nitpicking over the psychology here isn't really important unless it's helpful to the OP. She said she feels bad about what's going on in the thread, and I think it's fair for her to feel that way regardless of why. The original question about how to address her problem still stands, and now the issue is complicated because she used this thread to experiment a bit with her sexuality by sharing ideas and pics. I don't think anyone really wants to make her feel ashamed for doing that, but she seems to feel like it was wrong in hindsight. the ethics and the psychology behind her choices might be helpful to understand, but I think it's more important for her not to let a little failure in this thread distract her from the ultimate goal of being happy with her husband and finding a way to comfortably share the risks/benefits of sexual experimentation with him. That shit is always risky, and I can understand why she'd feel better about using this forum for a first attempt at anonymous experimentation to sort of protect the hubby. Again, Slightly-crazy-anon1-lady, when you come back to the thread and see the activity, I want you to know that it's okay to fuck up a bit and not understand what went wrong. If you keep refining the experimentation and fixing stuff that feels wrong, and avoid getting overwhelmed by depressing failures, then it'll all make more sense in hindsight when you figure out how to make it work in a way that feels right and makes you happy.

And you can always delete the pics if they're making you feel bad and not adding any value to your life. Personally, I wouldn't have much value for pics, and I think it's sexy that you care about your partner, want to have gratifyingly sex with him, and are willing to put all this risk and effort into figuring out how to do it in a way that works for you both. Keep at it.

:heart:would bang:heart: (with all due respect to you and your hubby)


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Anonymous #4

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Mr.GuessWork]
    #27701095 - 03/19/22 07:55 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Mr.GuessWork said:
So I think that nitpicking over the psychology here isn't really important unless it's helpful to the OP. She said she feels bad about what's going on in the thread, and I think it's fair for her to feel that way regardless of why. The original question about how to address her problem still stands, and now the issue is complicated because she used this thread to experiment a bit with her sexuality by sharing ideas and pics. I don't think anyone really wants to make her feel ashamed for doing that, but she seems to feel like it was wrong in hindsight. the ethics and the psychology behind her choices might be helpful to understand, but I think it's more important for her not to let a little failure in this thread distract her from the ultimate goal of being happy with her husband and finding a way to comfortably share the risks/benefits of sexual experimentation with him. That shit is always risky, and I can understand why she'd feel better about using this forum for a first attempt at anonymous experimentation to sort of protect the hubby. Again, Slightly-crazy-anon1-lady, when you come back to the thread and see the activity, I want you to know that it's okay to fuck up a bit and not understand what went wrong. If you keep refining the experimentation and fixing stuff that feels wrong, and avoid getting overwhelmed by depressing failures, then it'll all make more sense in hindsight when you figure out how to make it work in a way that feels right and makes you happy.

And you can always delete the pics if they're making you feel bad and not adding any value to your life. Personally, I wouldn't have much value for pics, and I think it's sexy that you care about your partner, want to have gratifyingly sex with him, and are willing to put all this risk and effort into figuring out how to do it in a way that works for you both. Keep at it.

:heart:would bang:heart: (with all due respect to you and your hubby)




I second this, good addition.


Edited by Anonymous (03/19/22 12:09 PM)


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Invisibler3volution.gurl
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Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Mr.GuessWork]
    #27701324 - 03/19/22 11:38 AM (1 year, 10 months ago)

I have every right to address incorrect statements like "acting out" which aren't accurate to the issue.

OP had no negative feelings regarding the pictures until reasons were overwhelmingly provided for her to feel them. Especially at this extremely sensitive time of the situation with nearly zero progress regarding her issue, in fact the opposite since their initial conversation recently didn't go well. Timing matters.

The photos being removed by people's advice about it solved absolutely nothing. It was made more complicated based on people's personal feelings about them.

Guesswork, you're one to talk though when you've claimed zoophilia is 'normal' human behaviour after the amount of psychological evidence I provided clearly stating otherwise. 

You evidently show no logical respect for psychology and it's importance so it's no wonder you claim I'm 'nitpicking' incorrect and potentially harmful statements about OP.

I don't even want to have a conversation with someone like you after the chicken fucking thing. Complete waste of my energy and time. I also don't trust anyone who would describe their relationship with their animals as 'professional'.

Now I'm not trying to get into it with you... again. That's my opinion, I have a right to it and you can argue about it, it's not changing.


--------------------

"Souls love. Thats what souls do. Egos dont, but souls do. Become a soul, look around, and youll be amazed-all the beings around you are souls. Be one, see one. When many people have this heart connection, then we will know that we are all one, we human beings all over the planet. We will be one. One love. And dont leave out the animals, and trees, and clouds, and galaxies: its all one. Its one energy." -Ram Dass


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InvisibleMr.GuessWork
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Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: r3volution.gurl] * 4
    #27701347 - 03/19/22 12:11 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Quote:

r3volution.gurl said:
I have every right to address incorrect statements like "acting out" which aren't accurate to the issue.

OP had no negative feelings regarding the pictures until reasons were overwhelmingly provided for her to feel them. Especially at this extremely sensitive time of the situation with nearly zero progress regarding her issue, in fact the opposite since their initial conversation recently didn't go well. Timing matters.

The photos being removed by people's advice about it solved absolutely nothing. It was made more complicated based on people's personal feelings about them.

Guesswork, you're one to talk though when you've claimed zoophilia is 'normal' human behaviour after the amount of psychological evidence I provided clearly stating otherwise. 

You evidently show no logical respect for psychology and it's importance so it's no wonder you claim I'm 'nitpicking' incorrect and potentially harmful statements about OP.

I don't even want to have a conversation with someone like you after the chicken fucking thing. Complete waste of my energy and time. I also don't trust anyone who would describe their relationship with their animals as 'professional'.

Now I'm not trying to get into it with you... again. That's my opinion, I have a right to it and you can argue about it, it's not changing.




This not the right place to bring up personal suspicions of zoophila or whatever it is that's going through your head, particularly since we've only talked about it in an OTD thread. I'd advise reading the rules on interforum drama since this forum is very distinctly not OTD and it's unwise to confuse the two. You should probably read the rules and warnings in OTD while you're at it. This thread is also not the right place to fight out personal battles. It's about the OP's issues, and they occur within the context of her beliefs, values, and personality, all of which appear to differ significantly from your own. What works for you probably won't work for her. If you want to talk about your own beefs, then you should make your own thread. Otherwise focus on helping anon1 rather than on what offends you.


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Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: r3volution.gurl]
    #27701504 - 03/19/22 03:18 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

This is the sexuality and relationship forum so technically zoophilia is not in the wrong forum. I do take responsibility for bringing it up in the wrong thread despite my reason for that. I made very clear I will not argue with you about it and so I will not.

I just wanted to provide OP some background on my experience with you which related to your blatant disregard of the importance of psychology such as when you replied to me about "nitpicking". 

You're now openly pretending like you know OP's beliefs, values and even personality as you do mine. If you care so much about OP then stop addressing me. I originally addressed OP. Anon 4 replied to me and so did you Guesswork. I clearly need to point out I never initiated conversation with you guys.

Quote:

Mr.Guesswork said:What works for you probably won't work for her.





Thanks tips!

Quote:

r3volution.gurl said:
Our personal opinions about what works for us will not work for everyone else's relationships and vise versa. Everyone is different and has different expectations and needs.




:cookiemonster:


--------------------

"Souls love. Thats what souls do. Egos dont, but souls do. Become a soul, look around, and youll be amazed-all the beings around you are souls. Be one, see one. When many people have this heart connection, then we will know that we are all one, we human beings all over the planet. We will be one. One love. And dont leave out the animals, and trees, and clouds, and galaxies: its all one. Its one energy." -Ram Dass


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Invisibler3volution.gurl
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Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #1] * 2
    #27701517 - 03/19/22 03:35 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

I am sorry about the off topic stuff in your your thread. I am partially to blame for that. 

Below is my previous suggestions more detailed and put together. This is meant to portray how practicing understanding each other in conversation could be beneficial in your relationship. I don't necessarily recommend you do this without the help of a professional though.

Keep communications respective and positive with your husband in your daily lives especially when both of you are up for conversations privately from the kids. Your first conversation with him privately could be about setting time aside for you both(non sexually) to just talk to one another privately each day or a few times a week about whatever you or him want to talk about together. Some suggestions of topics could be about how either of your day's really were, past/present/future ideas and realizations about anything, possible activities/dates together, interests, the positives of the relationship, potentially very teeny tiny negatives in a comedic fashion. However, in regards to talking about negatives in the relationship, I would hold off because without a professional and enough practice of understanding developed, a conversation can easily turn into an argument and deescalating to achieve a positive outcome is a whole other challenge.

During these conversations together, focus on understanding each other more in an emotional positive light, asking questions which encourage elaboration of feelings, being genuinely interested even if you feel like you already know him. Just enjoy talking to one another. Do not push anything though, this is all meant to be willing communication. The goal of these "heart to heart" talks is to reconnect you guys for the time being.

With all that said, I do strongly recommend a professional to provide these tools of communication including deescalation. Nothing I tell you will beat that kind of real life help and the advice I provided CAN go badly and create more problems. It's extremely dangerous for you to follow my advice if you are not 100% confident you can be objective if any conversation turns into an argument. The written word is not comparable to tone.

I also do not know you or your husband where as with a professional, they will have to get to know both of you and history before even considering providing advice. Even if your husband is not interested in couples therapy and you were to see someone by yourself, both of you will still benefit. I am not saying you and your husband don't know how to communicate with each other or anything of the sort. I am just sharing the potential benefits of you guys practicing communication regularly so it almost becomes a template for more serious conversations.

I personally learned a long time ago I can't change anyone, but I can always change myself which can spark a change in someone else. Just remember moving forward, when you communicate with your husband, you only have control of yourself so what you say and when you say it will steer communication negatively or positively. With a professional, I guarantee you will develop the skills to better predict the outcome of communication with you and your husband.

Keep me posted:heart:

Oh and I went through at least 5 different professionals. Don't be afraid to talk to someone new if you feel you're not benefitting. I wasted a few years getting null advice until I found someone who really challenged me and gave me the perspective I needed.


--------------------

"Souls love. Thats what souls do. Egos dont, but souls do. Become a soul, look around, and youll be amazed-all the beings around you are souls. Be one, see one. When many people have this heart connection, then we will know that we are all one, we human beings all over the planet. We will be one. One love. And dont leave out the animals, and trees, and clouds, and galaxies: its all one. Its one energy." -Ram Dass


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InvisibleMr.GuessWork
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Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: r3volution.gurl] * 2
    #27701607 - 03/19/22 04:59 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

lol lady. It would be fun to do a thread about you, so feel free if you want some input. I promise not to dump on you for holding an OTD grudge. I think I remember you saying you were diagnosed with a narcissistic personality disorder at some point. You were open about it, and I commend you for that, so I won't use your openness to pick on you here even though I think your defensiveness makes you fun to pick on a bit in OTD. Parts of that personality do show pretty clearly and I can see how it affects your thoughts and communications sometimes. OP doesn't seem to have the same type of personality going for her, and it seems like she's got more traditional ideas about her role in her relationship and her sexuality than you do. That's perfectly okay, and she can still find a way to get freaky with her husband and explore\expand her sexuality without jeopardizing her confidence in her beliefs or relationship. I think she feels guilty about her sexual openness in this thread, which again is perfectly okay and normal when people go beyond the bounds of what they think is acceptable in hindsight. It's important to validate that kind of feeling and explain it, rather than to externalize it and dismiss it as something secondary to people being unfairly judgmental. It sounds like a feeling that stems from her internal beliefs and values and her own reflections on her actions. Those feelings are a part of who she is and exploring that stuff as it comes up and causes trouble is part of the value of good experimentation. Embracing it helps make things feel right and satisfying in the end, after working out the kinks (or working them in :evil:). Not giving those feeling due credit and consideration is sort of like ignoring a warning. It's better to slow down and reconsider what's been going on and think about what the new consequences might be and how to manage them. Doubts are useful, particularly when you're getting adventurous and trying new things that might be dangerous and have bad outcomes.


A therapist MIGHT help, but I think she'll get it worked out if she keeps trying at it, and no therapist will be able to help without that. I wouldn't hold back on trying to communicate simply because no therapist is involved. Taking some initiative and getting past the initial scariness of involving the hubby might do the job and get things rolling in the right direction. IMO, it's better to rely on the relationship at this point and try to use it to communicate vs relying on a therapist for that.


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Invisibler3volution.gurl
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Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Mr.GuessWork]
    #27701808 - 03/19/22 08:08 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

Yeah, I was diagnosed with PTSD and narcissistic personality disorder. Both fully treated through behavioural therapy only. I don't suffer from PTSD or NPD anymore. After my self esteem and confidence improved, the NPD was reassessed as a personality trait.

It's interesting how it's acceptable for you to give me shit for being off topic then do exactly what you gave me shit for, yet I'm hypocritical.

I stand by my advice for OP because I'm interested in providing long term solutions.


--------------------

"Souls love. Thats what souls do. Egos dont, but souls do. Become a soul, look around, and youll be amazed-all the beings around you are souls. Be one, see one. When many people have this heart connection, then we will know that we are all one, we human beings all over the planet. We will be one. One love. And dont leave out the animals, and trees, and clouds, and galaxies: its all one. Its one energy." -Ram Dass


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InvisibleMr.GuessWork
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Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: r3volution.gurl]
    #27701883 - 03/19/22 09:30 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

I thought your personal history was sort of relevant to the advice you were giving and to your perspective on the issues. I also thought it might be interesting to anon4 and give him\her some insight into where you were coming from and how you approached the topic.

I don't recall identifying anything you said as hypocritical, and my earlier criticism of the previous discussion on psych and ethics that you and anon 4 were having wasn't directed at you personally. If you go back and look at it, it was directed at the focus of the discussion and it's usefulness to the issue at hand. You also seemed to have some trouble separating OTD stuff from here, and I've been around long enough to understand some of the differences in culture between the forums and to know which rules matter where. It can be complex, and you're still new enough that I didn't want to leave you hanging. I'm not a mod, and I don't enforce the rules. I gave you the warning because I didn't want you to catch any shit from a higher power here or somewhere else because of OTD stuff. I believe you're giving advice in good faith, and I want you to be able to continue. It was worth a temporary threadjack for that.


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Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Mr.GuessWork]
    #27701942 - 03/19/22 10:34 PM (1 year, 10 months ago)

:ohyeahdefinitely:


--------------------

"Souls love. Thats what souls do. Egos dont, but souls do. Become a soul, look around, and youll be amazed-all the beings around you are souls. Be one, see one. When many people have this heart connection, then we will know that we are all one, we human beings all over the planet. We will be one. One love. And dont leave out the animals, and trees, and clouds, and galaxies: its all one. Its one energy." -Ram Dass


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Anonymous #5

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: r3volution.gurl] * 2
    #27725409 - 04/08/22 08:48 AM (1 year, 9 months ago)

OP, got an update for us?
and some more sexy pics would be awesome :grin:


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OfflineFlusH
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Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #27737792 - 04/16/22 08:24 PM (1 year, 9 months ago)

I didn't read the entire thread, so I might have overlooked someone else giving this advice already.

But if you want him to last longer,  surprise him with a blowjob, handjob, whatever in the morning, then at lunch.. then by afternoon/evening hit him up for the aggro sex.  He will hold out way longer. And feel better about it in the long run


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Anonymous #13

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: FlusH]
    #27737825 - 04/16/22 08:46 PM (1 year, 9 months ago)

Can confirm :thumbup:


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Anonymous #12

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #13] * 3
    #27737968 - 04/16/22 10:59 PM (1 year, 9 months ago)

The amount of effort a man puts in to a relationship is directly proportional to the amount of head he receives and the enthusiasm she puts in to sucking it. It's Newton's first law


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Anonymous #13

Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #12]
    #27738148 - 04/17/22 05:29 AM (1 year, 9 months ago)

Amen.


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OfflineTrancedOutBrah
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Re: Unsatisfied woman needs advice [Re: Anonymous #13]
    #27741329 - 04/19/22 02:17 AM (1 year, 9 months ago)

Man I understand you so much OP it hurts because that was my previous relationship, she gave no fucks about my pleasure but honestly her own, my fiancée is exactly what I need because I am such a wild fucking beast at heart. I wasn't always this way though, it took me 2 1/3 years from meeting the love of my life to transform me back into the man I was meant to be, the man I was meant to grow into. When we met she was ~280 lbs and I was probably about 220. I had a myriad of health issues, drug addiction problems and all kinds of trauma I don't even want to talk about to anyone and honestly, I plan on keeping that shit repressed for the rest of my life.

Back in my teens, I was fit as fuck. I could run 5 miles straight in less than 32 minutes, I could bench press 260 lbs 10 times, I could deadlift 320lbs 20 times, I could squat 290 20 times. I could do 40 pullups within 2 minutes. I used my 35lb kettlebell like it was my fucking religion. My tennis coach pushed me to challenge myself physically and through endurance that I've NEVER experienced before... and honestly, there is nothing more satisfying than enjoying your own hard work, sleep comes so easy at the end of the day.

My Fiancée is pretty much straight up sober, last time she had a drug was last 4th of July where she got drunk with me and her family when we spent the night down there. I scared her sober when I gave her 1 tab of LSD. I left her alone for 10 minutes to go get stuff in the kitchen for us to enjoy (Smoothies/etc) and that's all it took for her to relive all the fucked up trauma that she repressed in her mind. She had a good time before and after but after the trip was over she pretty much refuses to do any drug now other than some really chill shit and that's 100% okay by me, I will never ask her to do something or even suggest it to her, it must be 100% her idea. I really regret giving her LSD as her first psychedelic, but LSD was mine and it's what got me into this whole world of insanity in the first place.

Past the backstory:
She was actually the one with the higher sex drive. She always craved me more. I never had enough in me, I didn't have the drive, the energy, the motivation. Before I met her I was working 40 hours a week and going to school for 40-60+ hours and driving for a bare minimum of 12 hours a week. It took a tremendous toll on my mentally, physically and pushed me to the brink of "Why am I doing this?"

Her love nourished me back into my old self, she motivated me to get fit, to get healthy, to eat good, to take supplements, to take nootropics, to try and do better every single day and do better than the last. Nobody is perfect, we can only try to do better.

In the past 3 months, I have taken 3 days off from exercise and all 3 were because my foot was hurt helping her in an emergency and I didn't give two fucks what happened to me or my pain. I would walk through the fires of hell for this woman and so much more.

OP, if your partner is giving you tender love and care, if they aren't nourishing you both PHYSICALLY and MENTALLY, they do not truly love you. If they love you, they will make you fucking cum all the time. They will tell you they love you. They will hold you, they will make time for you, because nothing else matters more in this world is self love and the love of a partner who truly loves, appreciates and supports you to grow as a human being.

Everyone wants to orgasm. That release is one of the best natural feelings in the world.

If your partner doesn't want you to have that....... you have to ask them why?

Communication is key. It's the one thing I'm still working on today. I suck at communicating. I blame my dad lol


--------------------
Lead by example, words mean little when your actions don't reflect what you say.

Spread kindness, love, empathy, compassion.

Learn from mistakes. Try and do better. Each day is a new day, try to make it a better one.

Coconut and Avocado is awesome for the skin.

MIND OVER MATTER

:mushroom2::lsd:


Edited by TrancedOutBrah (04/19/22 02:27 AM)


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