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Invisiblechinadoll
there
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Registered: 10/05/02
Posts: 1,118
Loc: dark side of terrapin
Funny
    #2761018 - 06/03/04 06:07 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

I thought this was hilarious and true. I hope it dosen't offend anyone.


Italians have a $40,000. kitchen, but use the $259 stove from American
Appliance in the basement to cook.

There is some sort of religious statue in the hallway, living room, front,
porch and backyard.

The living room is filled with old Bombonieri (they are too pretty to open)
with poofy net bows and stale Almonds.

A portrait of the Pope and Frank Sinatra in the dining room.

God forbid if anyone EVER attempted to eat Chef Boy-are-dee, Franco
American, Ragu, Prego or anything else in a jar or can. (Tomato paste is the
exception.)

The following are Italian Holidays:

* First weekend in October - Grapes for the Wine

* 3rd weekend in August - Tomatoes for the Gravy

(Speaking of which, it's GRAVY and not Sauce).

Meatballs are made with Pork, Veal and Beef. We are Italians, we don't care
about cholesterol.

Turkey is served on Thanksgiving, AFTER the manicotti, gnocchi, lasagna.

If anyone EVER says ES-CAROLE, slap 'em in the face -- it's SHCAROLE.

If they ever say ITALIAN WEDDING SOUP, let the idiot know that there is no
wedding nor is there an Italian in the soup. Also, the tiny meatballs must
be made by hand.

No matter how hard you know you were going to get smacked, you still came
home from church after communion, you stuck half a loaf of bread in the
gravy pot, snuck out a fried meatball and chowed down - you'll make up for
it next week at confession.

Sunday dinner was at 1:00. The meal went like this...Table is set with
everyday dishes...doesn't matter if they don't match...they're clean, what
more do you want. All the utensils go on the right side of the plate and the
napkin goes on the left. Put a clean kitchen towel at Nonno & Papa's plate
because they won't use napkins. Homemade wine and bottles of 7up are on the
table.

First course, Antipasto...change plates. Next, Macaroni (Nonna called all
spaghetti Macaroni)...change plates.

After that, Roasted Meats, Roasted Potatoes, Overcooked vegetables...change
plates.

THEN and only then (NEVER AT THE BEGINNING OF THE MEAL) would you eat the

salad (HOMEMADE OIL & VINEGAR DRESSING ONLY)...change plates.

Next, Fruit & Nuts - in the shell (on paper plates because you ran out of
the other ones).

Coffee (Espresso for Nonno, "Merican" coffee for the rest) with Anisette

(Hard Cookies to dip in the coffee).

The kids go play...the men go to lay down...the women clean the kitchen.

Getting screamed at by Mom or Nonna - half the sentence was English, the
other half Italian.

Italian mothers never threw a baseball in their life, but can nail you in
the head with a shoe thrown from the kitchen while you're in the living
room.

Prom Dress that Zia Ceserina made you...$20.00 for material.

Prom hair-do from Cousin Angela...$Free.

Turning around at prom to see your entire family (including

Godparents) standing in the back of the gym...PRICELESS!

The true Italians will love this, those of you who are married to Italians
will understand this, and those of you who are friends with Italians will
remember.


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InvisibleRipple
Ripple
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Registered: 05/16/02
Posts: 21,014
Loc: the timbers of Fennario
Re: Funny [Re: chinadoll]
    #2764238 - 06/04/04 07:11 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

A bit of a long read but funny.


--------------------
The bus came by and I got on that's when it all began!



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OfflineSigno
manamana
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Registered: 03/05/02
Posts: 1,949
Loc: Purple Haze
Last seen: 9 years, 8 months
Re: Funny [Re: Ripple]
    #2764309 - 06/04/04 09:14 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

You should edit it and say something at the top like: You know you are italian if.....

That should clarify the point of the post. I was confused until I figured it out.


--------------------


Correlation is not causation!


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Offlinephi1618
old hand

Registered: 02/14/04
Posts: 4,102
Last seen: 6 years, 6 months
Re: Funny [Re: chinadoll]
    #2764324 - 06/04/04 09:20 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

You're making me hungry :laugh:

...
and envious of Italian men who get to lay down after dinner :rolleyes:


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InvisibleRipple
Ripple
Male User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 05/16/02
Posts: 21,014
Loc: the timbers of Fennario
Re: Funny [Re: phi1618]
    #2764335 - 06/04/04 09:25 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

like me!


--------------------
The bus came by and I got on that's when it all began!



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Offlinefelix
this and that
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Registered: 01/21/00
Posts: 10,496
Last seen: 1 month, 16 minutes
Re: Funny [Re: chinadoll]
    #2764443 - 06/04/04 10:18 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

God forbid if anyone EVER attempted to eat Chef Boy-are-dee, Franco
American, Ragu, Prego or anything else in a jar or can. --damn right!

and lobster is for thanksgiving! get it right! LoL

good post man


--------------------
Real botanists laugh at HPS systems, we do however use high pressure sodium in the parking lot. - artthug


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