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OfflineRyeRay
19 & a new mom
Female


Registered: 04/23/21
Posts: 166
Loc: USA Flag
Last seen: 6 hours, 36 minutes
36weeks 2 days
    #27571896 - 12/06/21 11:47 PM (1 month, 11 days ago)

Currently my GA is 36weeks and 2 days. Baby is measuring at 38 weeks 5 days. My current due date is January 1st 2021 but I have my Cesarean Scheduled for December 27th 2021. Kiddo’s weight is 7lb 2oz. Been having contractions for two days about 30 minutes apart and a ridiculous amount of Braxton hicks. Once my contractions get to be 10 minutes apart or if my water breaks I go in for labor and delivery. I got to see my sons face today and he’s got super cute and chubby cheeks. Some hair but not much, still mostly bald! I’m wanting to post photos of the ultrasound because I’m so excited but also I don’t want to? If that makes sense. I think he looks like his dad way more than me which is a bit disheartening considering father still is mad that I won’t get back together with him so he won’t be involved. He has every opportunity to be there and I won’t stop him - he just needs to actually care. He doesn’t get to just dip out on his own responsibilities. He’s the one who told me they wanted to be a father their whole life and got me excited for the pregnancy when I wanted to be child free (until our son ofc) but the flip of his way or the highway makes me understand that he’s not fit to be a father, among other things. I wouldn’t give our son up for the world because our son is my world - I just hope his dad eventually grows up and comes around. Either way I’m good on my own personally - I just hate that our son has a dad but he’s choosing to not be there.


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Always give your 100 unless you’re donating blood!


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InvisibletrendalM
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Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 20,790
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Re: 36weeks 2 days [Re: RyeRay] * 2
    #27572171 - 12/07/21 09:34 AM (1 month, 10 days ago)

Don't worry, it's almost over :wink:

Then again, something else will happen to you that, you'll find, kind of takes over your life. It will happen way too fast for you to see, but way too slow to be apparent. You'll look down on this little life you've created and smile, weep, or scream with rage - it doesn't matter! You'll have him, and, more importantly, he'll have you.

If you ever need some help, or just someone to listen, I'm always a :pm: away!

:sun:

Edit: I am about 12 years into my own journey...or journies :wink:


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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free.
But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.


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InvisibleMr.GuessWork
Stranger
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Registered: 03/30/13
Posts: 3,560
Re: 36weeks 2 days [Re: trendal]
    #27572205 - 12/07/21 10:20 AM (1 month, 10 days ago)

I'm happy to hear you're doing well, and I always enjoy your updates. As long as the kiddo has a good mom then he'll do alright. Dad might grow up as time goes on too. life is long, and things change. It's nice to see you sticking to your principles and taking care of yourself. That's an important part of being a good mom IMHO.


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Invisibletrees
Thought Criminal
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Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 7,445
Re: 36weeks 2 days [Re: Mr.GuessWork] * 3
    #27572290 - 12/07/21 11:55 AM (1 month, 10 days ago)

Id sue the fuck out of that shithead for child support. Tell ya what. Ill sue him for you to the fullest ammount, on you and your sons behalf and i'll front the initial legal costs. Then all i get is a 3rd of all the child support for life, Whatdya say?


Edited by trees (12/07/21 12:26 PM)


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Invisiblelarry.fisherman
octopus fucking starfish
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 34,382
Loc: Swimming in Circles Flag
Re: 36weeks 2 days [Re: RyeRay]
    #27573233 - 12/08/21 08:16 AM (1 month, 9 days ago)

If he refuses to be involved unless you're slobbering all over his dick then he doesn't deserve the child or a life where child support is eschewed. As much as trees is poking fun he's also got a point. From my experience with him he's seemed swell, but if you're genuine with your claims then you need to start talking to a lawyer like yesterday.

A strong will is what will make being a single mom doable but the support will be important too. Even if your job could allow you to get by bringing baby to work or whatever, diapers and other needs add up. Bassinet, crib, stroller, car seat. That shit alone can have a noticable cost, and the biggest personal cost at first will be your time+energy so take what you can get.

Good luck, and keep us updated.:thumbup:

But go see a lawyer.


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Offlinechristopera
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Registered: 10/13/17
Posts: 8,338
Last seen: 7 hours, 53 minutes
Re: 36weeks 2 days [Re: larry.fisherman]
    #27573236 - 12/08/21 08:24 AM (1 month, 9 days ago)

Yeah, a lawyer is the right way to handle this. Even if for nothing more than making the dickhead take a serious look at his own actions. Being a reasonable person in these situations can save a lot of money and heartache.


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A Dorito is pizza, change my mind.

Bank and Union with The Shroomery at the Zuul on The internet - now with %'s and things

I’m sorry it had to be me.


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Invisiblelarry.fisherman
octopus fucking starfish
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 34,382
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Re: 36weeks 2 days [Re: christopera]
    #27573252 - 12/08/21 08:43 AM (1 month, 9 days ago)

The first thing he could do - if he's reading this - is offer his apology, maturity, and an open/honest dialogue about his financial ability to support her and their child. Because the court will be less forgiving. They may just pick a number and say "Good luck." I'd hope it's a good offer though.


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OfflineFleabag Friend
OTD Free Bag Fiend
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Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 7,553
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 19 days, 3 hours
Re: 36weeks 2 days [Re: RyeRay] * 1
    #27574036 - 12/08/21 10:05 PM (1 month, 9 days ago)

Quote:

RyeRay said:
I think he looks like his dad way more than me which is a bit disheartening considering father still is mad that I won’t get back together with him so he won’t be involved.




Sounds like you're the one holding a grudge...


--------------------
I firmly believe the soul is a finite resource and that's why earth is so populated with glazed eyed dronelike automatons. The lack of inner monologue is well documented, the amount of individuals I have come across who simply seem to be husks stuck in a limbo of existence is terrifying. God kill us
Растворю я окна-двери


JOIN US AT THE GROWERY!!!


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Invisiblebudmanman
OTD Masterbater
Male


Registered: 02/07/07
Posts: 12,639
Loc: PNW
Re: 36weeks 2 days [Re: Fleabag Friend]
    #27574050 - 12/08/21 10:24 PM (1 month, 9 days ago)

Abortion is always an option.


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Everything I have ever said is total bogus bs I am full of crud therefore everything I say should never be taken literal.

And I am mentally unstable.


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Offlinefeevers
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Registered: 12/28/10
Posts: 6,026
Last seen: 12 hours, 53 minutes
Re: 36weeks 2 days [Re: Fleabag Friend]
    #27574059 - 12/08/21 10:28 PM (1 month, 9 days ago)

Quote:

Fleabag Friend said:
Quote:

RyeRay said:
I think he looks like his dad way more than me which is a bit disheartening considering father still is mad that I won’t get back together with him so he won’t be involved.




Sounds like you're the one holding a grudge...



Idk, the baby daddy sounds like a real shit head for refusing to be involved in his own kid’s life just because OP won’t fuck him any more.


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OfflineFleabag Friend
OTD Free Bag Fiend
Male User Gallery


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 7,553
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 19 days, 3 hours
Re: 36weeks 2 days [Re: RyeRay] * 3
    #27574072 - 12/08/21 10:46 PM (1 month, 9 days ago)

Quote:

RyeRay said:
I won’t get back together with him so he won’t be involved.



Quote:

RyeRay said:
He has every opportunity to be there and I won’t stop him - he just needs to actually care.



Quote:

RyeRay said:
I just hate that our son has a dad but he’s choosing to not be there.




Kinda sounds like its not entirely his choice. :rolleyes:

I aint gonna pretend like I know what alls going on. But I guarantee that y'all haven't got the whole picture either.
I'm positive this has got a lot more shit goin on than just him bein angry she isn't puttin out.

We're dealing with an obviously very emotional young woman.
And she's clearly coming here to vent. Please Don't fill the girls head with talk of lawyers and child support and bullshit fucking vengeance lawsuits. That is devastating, life crippling shit y'all are flinging around all willy nilly.
That isn't healthy, that isn't positive.
They both need to figure it out, her included. For the sake of the baby especially.


--------------------
I firmly believe the soul is a finite resource and that's why earth is so populated with glazed eyed dronelike automatons. The lack of inner monologue is well documented, the amount of individuals I have come across who simply seem to be husks stuck in a limbo of existence is terrifying. God kill us
Растворю я окна-двери


JOIN US AT THE GROWERY!!!


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InvisiblePsicomvbS
not a weirdo
Male User Gallery


Registered: 01/13/18
Posts: 4,197
Re: 36weeks 2 days [Re: Fleabag Friend]
    #27574099 - 12/08/21 11:14 PM (1 month, 9 days ago)

Sue the shit out of him for child support if it is true that he really is acting the way you describe...sorry-ass excuse of a "dad"

Its unfair to the child and woman that a guy thinks he can fling his jizz, get someone pregnant, n then pick and choose how he's gonna be (inactively) in their lives.  He sounds like an emotional (and financial) freeloader


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OfflinegeokillsA
∙∙∙∙☼ º¿° ☼∙∙∙∙
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Registered: 05/08/01
Posts: 21,595
Loc: city of angels Flag
Last seen: 9 hours, 22 minutes
Re: 36weeks 2 days [Re: Fleabag Friend] * 1
    #27574131 - 12/08/21 11:43 PM (1 month, 9 days ago)

Quote:

Fleabag Friend said:
I aint gonna pretend like I know what alls going on. But I guarantee that y'all haven't got the whole picture either.

Don't fill the girls head with talk of lawyers and child support and bullshit fucking vengeance lawsuits. That is devastating, life crippling shit y'all are flinging around all willy nilly.
That isn't healthy, that isn't positive.
They both need to figure it out, her included. For the sake of the baby especially.




Troof.  I hope for your sake and your son's sake, RyeRay, that you take the situation with your partner in a measured and thoughtful manner.  For all I know, you are.  But it still warrants repeating.  Children generally do better with two involved and loving parents.  If the Dad is indeed an unloving, selfish and otherwise unfit parent, by all means, go your own way.  But understand that a father taking care of "his responsibilities" isn't necessarily a bad thing, even if it means less time for direct attention amongst the immediate family.  By responsibilities, I am inferring general baseline requirements for mental/physical health and financial stability.

Also, as a curiosity, why a scheduled c-section?

My wife and I tried like hell to have a normal birth.  Waited and waited, but the baby was comfortable chilling and my wife ended up with her blood pressure spiking, that warranted induction.  After 12 hours of induced labor and not much to show for it, we ended up with the c-section upon the recommendation of our doctor, out of necessity and concern for my wife's ability to sustain more prolonged labor given the preeclampsia.

Healthy and happy boy hitting 5 years in April. :sun:


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--------------------
··∙   long live the shroomery  ∙··
...π╥ ╥π...


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Invisiblelarry.fisherman
octopus fucking starfish
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 34,382
Loc: Swimming in Circles Flag
Re: 36weeks 2 days [Re: Fleabag Friend]
    #27574294 - 12/09/21 05:47 AM (1 month, 9 days ago)

Quote:

Fleabag Friend said:
Quote:

RyeRay said:
I won’t get back together with him so he won’t be involved.



Quote:

RyeRay said:
He has every opportunity to be there and I won’t stop him - he just needs to actually care.



Quote:

RyeRay said:
I just hate that our son has a dad but he’s choosing to not be there.




Kinda sounds like its not entirely his choice. :rolleyes:

I aint gonna pretend like I know what alls going on. But I guarantee that y'all haven't got the whole picture either.
I'm positive this has got a lot more shit goin on than just him bein angry she isn't puttin out.

We're dealing with an obviously very emotional young woman.
And she's clearly coming here to vent. Please Don't fill the girls head with talk of lawyers and child support and bullshit fucking vengeance lawsuits. That is devastating, life crippling shit y'all are flinging around all willy nilly.
That isn't healthy, that isn't positive.
They both need to figure it out, her included. For the sake of the baby especially.



I don't know what you're getting at with the quotes, do you think a man need only be in his kid's life if the woman he made that baby with is interested in sleeping with him? Remember I did say "if you're being genuine with your claims," trust that I'm always skeptical of everyone. Idk how many times I've been the only one in a thread pointing out that an OP could be lying. If he really is as crazy as she says(there have been many update threads and I've read them all, neither has the accused member spoken out) then she needs a lawyer. Yeah it sucks but uh, he's got a kid now. He needs to do his part. Notice I also tried speaking to said user, had they happened to read this thread, that they should offer their cooperation before it needs to end up in court.

I understand, you're a man. We've got the short end of the stick and you probably know a few people who've been dragged through the mud. But for every good sob story there's 10 that deserve it.


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OfflineRyeRay
19 & a new mom
Female


Registered: 04/23/21
Posts: 166
Loc: USA Flag
Last seen: 6 hours, 36 minutes
Re: 36weeks 2 days [Re: Fleabag Friend] * 2
    #27576045 - 12/10/21 02:05 PM (1 month, 7 days ago)

Quote:

Fleabag Friend said:
Quote:

RyeRay said:
I won’t get back together with him so he won’t be involved.



Quote:

RyeRay said:
He has every opportunity to be there and I won’t stop him - he just needs to actually care.



Quote:

RyeRay said:
I just hate that our son has a dad but he’s choosing to not be there.




Kinda sounds like its not entirely his choice. :rolleyes:

I aint gonna pretend like I know what alls going on. But I guarantee that y'all haven't got the whole picture either.
I'm positive this has got a lot more shit goin on than just him bein angry she isn't puttin out.

We're dealing with an obviously very emotional young woman.
And she's clearly coming here to vent. Please Don't fill the girls head with talk of lawyers and child support and bullshit fucking vengeance lawsuits. That is devastating, life crippling shit y'all are flinging around all willy nilly.
That isn't healthy, that isn't positive.
They both need to figure it out, her included. For the sake of the baby especially.







I can totally see what you mean. I am young, and a bit emotional, yes. However, I truly believe the choices I’m making are what’s best for our son. So far, the only person who hasn’t been involved with our son would be the father. When we did have some early prenatal appointments they did come - but it was a struggle. There are a lot of other elements going on that I hadn’t shared and that’s because I do have a lawyer involved. Not sure if I’ve mentioned this in any of my previous updates but the paternal side of the family is involved. I speak with the grandparents on a regular basis and give them updates at each doctor appointment. I had my final ultrasound last Monday and even sent them pictures - not because I have to but because n want them involved. I didn’t have a good relationship with my father growing up but I’m in the beginnings of fostering a good one now which I’m grateful for. My ex’s dad? I feel as though he’s my grandpa and I seriously love the entirety of my ex’s family. They’re going to make amazing grandparents. I want my ex to be involved but I’m not going to force him to ask about the kid - and I’m not going to provide updates on the kid u til he starts asking for them. I reached out to my ex’s family about the updates and they’ve been involved since they knew about the pregnancy which I’m grateful for - ever since I asked him to leave me alone unless it’s about or son he hasn’t asked once. He went to one doctor appointment in august and left after the main part of the appointment when I was having lab work done after I told him I wouldn’t go with him to his truck in the parking lot, back to his house to fix his iPad or out to lunch with him. While we were in the actual appointment before the doctor called in I asked what his plans were regarding our son and he said that our kid is plan B. When I asked what that meant he said he’s all in or all out. When I tried to re clarify he stated that towards our child, he’s putting everything on the line or nothing. He also told me he may be losing his house at the end of this year as his rental was out of for sale or auction and he was thinking of moving to a different state. When I asked if he was even going to come to the hospital and sign the birth certificate or even go for custody he shook his head no and shrugged. He originally wasn’t going to go to the prenatal appointment because he thought if he went he wouldn’t get hired if he was seen with me. Same hospital he was applying for jobs at.

I hope this clears things up a bit - if you want proof like text messages or even videos, I’m more than willing to share. I will not post identifiable information through any channel though.


--------------------
Always give your 100 unless you’re donating blood!


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OfflineRyeRay
19 & a new mom
Female


Registered: 04/23/21
Posts: 166
Loc: USA Flag
Last seen: 6 hours, 36 minutes
Re: 36weeks 2 days [Re: larry.fisherman] * 2
    #27576090 - 12/10/21 02:35 PM (1 month, 7 days ago)

Quote:

larry.fisherman said:
If he refuses to be involved unless you're slobbering all over his dick then he doesn't deserve the child or a life where child support is eschewed. As much as trees is poking fun he's also got a point. From my experience with him he's seemed swell, but if you're genuine with your claims then you need to start talking to a lawyer like yesterday.

A strong will is what will make being a single mom doable but the support will be important too. Even if your job could allow you to get by bringing baby to work or whatever, diapers and other needs add up. Bassinet, crib, stroller, car seat. That shit alone can have a noticable cost, and the biggest personal cost at first will be your time+energy so take what you can get.

Good luck, and keep us updated.:thumbup:

But go see a lawyer.





I agree. I am serious with my claims and I don’t say what I say lightly. You are correct, a strong will is required and so is support. I’m very lucky to have both. Something that I remember vividly would be during our arguments or when I would break down while with them, he would say things like “I thought you were strong” or “I thought you could handle it” when I would tell them how I was feeling. That was mostly when I asked them to stop specific behaviors. Him saying those things to me is something that truly spurred me into action and is what seriously helped me regain myself and become who I am again. This last year was hell on earth but it got me going and I was truly able to become my own person. I made a lot of mistakes and I sure wasn’t perfect, however I have learned immensely and I’ve taken what I’ve learned and applied it to myself. I’m a different person than I was then and I’m grateful. As much as I hate what happened to me and what I went though - I’m glad because it prepared me for this. I know being a mother is one of the hardest things to do and it’s not something I really envisioned myself doing, I know I can handle it because of everything and because I did grow up. I truly feel ready.

I’ll be honest, I had money set aside for a crib and a car seat - but our kiddo’s paternal grandparents actually drove 6 1/2 hours for my baby shower and brought both of those things and many more so I was able to put what I had saved up towards our sons savings! I honestly have so much baby stuff I’ve actually started asking people to not get my anything as I have too much 😂. Kid’s got clothes to last from newborn to 2T size.  I have two drawers, and a closet filled with diapers up to size 4 and maybe a total of 15,000 wipes… don’t get me started on bath stuff! I’ve got two baby bathing tubs + toys! Had to get storage caddy’s to go over doors for wash clothes, tethers, pacifiers, lotions and everything lol. 2 bins full of blankets as well. Our son is truly blessed.

If you have any parenting advice I’ll gladly take it! I’m going to weekly parenting classes and have been since I was 20 weeks - currently 37+1 today. I’m going to try and post a picture of the crib too! It’s super cute! https://


--------------------
Always give your 100 unless you’re donating blood!


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OfflinetheRealrollforever
Self-Proclaimed degenerate
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Registered: 08/31/13
Posts: 5,696
Last seen: 7 hours, 31 minutes
Re: 36weeks 2 days [Re: RyeRay] * 2
    #27576285 - 12/10/21 04:59 PM (1 month, 7 days ago)

I just noticed you updated your title from 18 & pregnant  to 19 & pregnant!  Happy birthday 🎉

:canthelpbutlaugh:


--------------------
:wizard: :wizard:
sunshine said:
The order has to be secret and no one is sure.


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OfflineRyeRay
19 & a new mom
Female


Registered: 04/23/21
Posts: 166
Loc: USA Flag
Last seen: 6 hours, 36 minutes
Re: 36weeks 2 days [Re: theRealrollforever]
    #27576637 - 12/10/21 10:49 PM (1 month, 7 days ago)

Quote:

theRealrollforever said:
I just noticed you updated your title from 18 & pregnant  to 19 & pregnant!  Happy birthday 🎉

:canthelpbutlaugh:




Thank you! My birthday was at the end of June but I do appreciate it! 17 more days til I update the status to “19 and no longer pregnant”


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Always give your 100 unless you’re donating blood!


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