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InvisibleThe Blind Ass
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Re: Can I please get a definitive answer? [Re: Abigherdofturd] * 1
    #27553348 - 11/22/21 08:55 AM (2 years, 4 months ago)

I almost wish every member came with a default medical & life history chart, lol. 
Too much detail to ask I know..but…things like…
What diagnoses & addictions?  What drugs, medicines, supplements, herbs, chems, etc etc have you taken during the last month.
And For each -
How much dose wise at once?
& How many times & often per day and per week and per month for each.
Age, sex, height & weight, and highest level of education completes, basic heritage & cultural upbringing, any  organized religious upbringing or training in the humanities or sciences? etc etc.

How’s your health been the last day, week, month, year?  Mental & physical.
What’s your living situation & general environment like?

Oh boy… :dielaughing:

Those types of questions are more important when playing armchair doctor psychonaut.  Especially when I’m not a doctor and am barely a psychonaut.  Otherwise we are basically working here like everything is in the dark… with only the faintest glimmer of a light, in essence, casting not a true picture of the thing itself but only its shadow…that we then try and guesstimate and go by.  :shrug:

If you search for general dosing guides to fungi you’ll find all kinds of stuff thatll help you crunch your own numbers without having to share so specifically.

The above illustrates some of the factors often used by professionals to help individualize dosages of X chemical in a human body to its max desired effectiveness without compromising them whil simultaneously keeping unwanted side effects at their most minimal  - in whatever the lowest dose that achieves that balance — as going off of the “mg/kg” formulae.   

Something like that.  More or less.


--------------------
Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps

Edited by The Blind Ass (11/22/21 12:40 PM)

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InvisibleTheStallionMang
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Re: Could someone just give me the answer I want and not their honest opinion? [Re: The Blind Ass]
    #27553350 - 11/22/21 08:57 AM (2 years, 4 months ago)

Hey, I fixed the thread title for ya bud
:grampofapproval:

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OfflineNeurotech
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Re: Can I please get a definitive answer? [Re: Abigherdofturd]
    #27553364 - 11/22/21 09:08 AM (2 years, 4 months ago)

"I really wish I could face my "ego". I don't understand why we have such huge ones when we haven't accomplished anything in life to earn them lol."

You are confusing the two meanings of "ego". When we talk about ego-loss we are not talking about an inflated sense of self-worth. In psychological terms, the ego is the part of you that has organized itself into a sense of self. It is the mechanism that allows you to interact with reality. In ego-loss, you lose your sense of an individual identity and merge with the greater consciousness. The experience can be quite frightening. Many say it feels like you are dying and then only when you give up control does the fear pass and you disappear for a while having experiences that are most difficult to put into words.

"I plan on staying in nature for 4-5 days to clear my mind, and then going to my friends house, getting the shrooms and taking them." Nature is a great idea in prep.


"Can I ask what's the worst that can happen?"

Wow. Yes, the worst you can imagine can indeed happen. It does not usually, but you can make some big mistakes while under the influence. Shrooms were outlawed in the Netherlands due primarily to newbie tourist trippers ending up in the ER or worse.

I would think twice about doing a potentially strong shroom alone in the forest. For the first time, I would recommend a safe indoor setting with a sitter elsewhere in the house. Someone who knows about tripping. Your friend's reluctance and anxiety about you tripping can potentially mess your own mindset up. If you've a backyard to explore, great if you feel like it. But that would most likely be after the peak. For the first two hours, I like to have music available and to lie down with eyes closed. LSD gives me more open eye visuals by far, but the closed eye spaces on shrooms are amazing. Take a look into how the pros at Johns Hopkins do a therapeutic trip.

I think it is great that you want answers to all these questions before you dive in. But you are reaching a small subset of us, and as you can see, definitive answers are hard to come by. I agree that you have to make up your own mind, but you need more info to do that. Trying to explain dosage and tripping to someone who has not tripped is kind of like trying to explain what color is to someone born blind. Its very much like that, really. So please do more research. Want to know how mushrooms compare to LSD? search Shrooms and LSD on this site. And read through the hundreds of trip reports on various psychedelics here: https://www.shroomery.org/forums/postlist.php/Board/5

When all is said and done, remember that generally, no two trips are alike, as has been described before. The same experienced psychonaut, on the same dose of the same substance and in the same setting, never really knows what to expect when they dose. If you are going to do it, the main points to remember to avoid a bad experience are

1. The effects are temporary and will last 4-6 hours and you will be normal again, and

2. Surrender to the trip. Allow it to take you to where it wants you to go. It is your brain in charge after all. I find that the shrooms take me to dark scary places at times, and when I don't resist I understand these places better and come to see that we all have them. In my head, I say "show me" to the shrooms.

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InvisibleTheStallionMang
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Could someone please just give me the answer I want and not their honest opinion? [Re: Abigherdofturd]
    #27553367 - 11/22/21 09:10 AM (2 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Abigherdofturd said:
I have some seriously fucked up fetishes and I don't want to hurt people or be a bad person




Tell us more about this...

Edited by TheStallionMang (11/22/21 09:12 AM)

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OfflineAbigherdofturd
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Re: Could someone please just give me the answer I want and not their honest opinion? [Re: TheStallionMang]
    #27553391 - 11/22/21 09:32 AM (2 years, 4 months ago)

Don't need to talk about it. I don't hurt people or do anything bad so it doesn't matter. What I know is I want to be better and help people. I'm not a child molester if that's what you think I'm implying. I just mean bad fetishes and weird shit, tons of issues I have besides these things though. Find it strange you're so interested in this though. I get it, I insulted your band that maybe didn't get to where you thought it would. You don't need to stay in the thread if you don't want to.

Edited by Abigherdofturd (11/22/21 09:43 AM)

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OfflineAbigherdofturd
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Re: Can I please get a definitive answer? [Re: Neurotech]
    #27553398 - 11/22/21 09:39 AM (2 years, 4 months ago)

I'll keep that in mind. I have heard many times now to kinda surrender and not fight the trip, I'm sure I'll understand that more as my trip happens. Thank you all for your help who read this. My OCD perhaps makes me obsess over getting a specific answer or something idk my mind is very strange feeling all the time but after I take those days in the forest to clear myself it feels MUCH better and more normal. Perhaps I'll listen to music and stuff in my room.. for this experience of 1.5 grams. If you want to explain to me more how to surrender to the trip that would be cool. I want this to be a powerful/helpful experience. Not just a fun time.

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OfflineAbigherdofturd
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Re: Can I please get a definitive answer? [Re: The Blind Ass]
    #27553405 - 11/22/21 09:44 AM (2 years, 4 months ago)

I meant more so like your average persons addictions, not drug addictions. Bad foods, pornography addictions etc. My porn/masturbation/fetish issues are really extreme though, I can NOT go a day without masturbating and I'm obsessive about sex. The only time my mind begins to feel half normal is when I don't masturbate and watch porn for a few days. Sometimes I wonder if my mind is thinking about this 24/7 behind all the fog I don't know. I don't want to see females as just sex objects anymore and stuff and I want to get away from masturbating and porn and stop it all .

Edited by Abigherdofturd (11/22/21 09:45 AM)

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OfflineSocrateshroom
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Re: Can I please get a definitive answer? [Re: Abigherdofturd] * 1
    #27553422 - 11/22/21 10:01 AM (2 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Abigherdofturd said:
I meant more so like your average persons addictions, not drug addictions. Bad foods, pornography addictions etc. My porn/masturbation/fetish issues are really extreme though, I can NOT go a day without masturbating and I'm obsessive about sex. The only time my mind begins to feel half normal is when I don't masturbate and watch porn for a few days. Sometimes I wonder if my mind is thinking about this 24/7 behind all the fog I don't know. I don't want to see females as just sex objects anymore and stuff and I want to get away from masturbating and porn and stop it all .




As someone who has struggled with those same addictions (pornography and bad eating habits when I was younger) I understand how insidious they can be (especially pornography as it can be so damaging to a young brain, especially when coupled with loneliness).

But let me tell you something incredibly important, Mushrooms will not end your addictions. I had too many expectations of that sort when I started my exploration. And it was hard on me to realize that I had unreal expectations of mushrooms. If you've studied the literature of using psychedelics as a means for treating addiction, you'll notice it wasn't just people who tripped on their own. They were accompanied by a psychologist/therapist (and sometimes a whole team of doctors). They had professionals help with the integration and guiding the experience to face those traumas.

So you can't expect to just take some mushrooms and be cured. What will crush you is to take mushrooms and, a few days later, look at porn. You'll curse the mushrooms for not "doing their job" and spiral back into the disease.

What you need to realize is the amount of personal responsibility you have with these issues. It's hard I know. It took me years to quit alcohol. And then, after years of trying, succeeding for different stretches of time, and relapsing, I had a moment where I just quit. I did not plan or forsee that moment. I kept being aware that I needed to quit, worked on myself, kept trying, and one day it happened. And now, I've been 20 months sober and my mindset towards alcohol is completely different.

You need to put in the effort. You need to succeed and fail and succeed and fail. But as long as your trying, giving it everything, you'll make progress little by little. And before you know it, you'll be in a position you can never fathom.

Mushrooms can help open your perspective, help you deal with traumas, and so much more amazing things. But that can't hold your hand as you rough it through the daily grind of self-improvement and abstinence from your issues.


--------------------

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OfflineAbigherdofturd
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Re: Can I please get a definitive answer? [Re: Socrateshroom]
    #27553458 - 11/22/21 10:33 AM (2 years, 4 months ago)

Yeah I'm afraid I'm unable to live life normally though so without mushrooms or some kind of severely big change in my life, no effort is being made to quit porn. Its my only purpose. I have nothing, I am nothing. Nothing interests me, my brain isn't normal and no one understands it. I guess I'll report back after my trip and we'll see if I went insane or not.

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InvisibleTheStallionMang
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Re: Can I please get a definitive answer? [Re: Abigherdofturd]
    #27553546 - 11/22/21 12:14 PM (2 years, 4 months ago)

It’s because porn is your “only purpose”
That shit ain’t good for ya man

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OfflineNeurotech
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Re: Can I please get a definitive answer? [Re: TheStallionMang]
    #27553591 - 11/22/21 12:49 PM (2 years, 4 months ago)

Porn and masturbation are proof that "The Secret" isn't true. lol.

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InvisibleThe Blind Ass
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Re: Can I please get a definitive answer? [Re: Abigherdofturd]
    #27553623 - 11/22/21 01:18 PM (2 years, 4 months ago)

Edit - Take back :tongue:

Edited by The Blind Ass (11/22/21 02:42 PM)

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OfflineSocrateshroom
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Re: Can I please get a definitive answer? [Re: Abigherdofturd]
    #27553644 - 11/22/21 01:30 PM (2 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Abigherdofturd said:
severely big change in my life,




You can make those changes.

Quote:

Abigherdofturd said:
no effort is being made to quit porn.




So make an effort. People relapse a million times before fully quitting. The idea isn't to start the process of quitting and that's it. It's a process for a reason.

Quote:

Abigherdofturd said:
Its my only purpose. I have nothing, I am nothing.




Find purpose. You've nailed the reason why you're having these issues. Purposelessness leads to hopelessness. Find purpose. Pursue lots of things and see what sticks.

Quote:

Abigherdofturd said:
Nothing interests me, my brain isn't normal and no one understands it




I've struggled plenty and still do with this sense of apathy. Thinking that you're unique, that no one has/had these struggles (or worse) is a function of your ego. You'd be surprised how similar I was to you when I was younger. Time helped. Getting my ass beat by life and getting up helped.

You're not an anomaly. An ever-increasing larger amount of people is struggling mentally. You are just one more. And that's a positive thought. That you aren't some stroke of creative bad luck but are rather more normal in your suffering than you think.


--------------------

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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: Can I please get a definitive answer? [Re: Abigherdofturd]
    #27553703 - 11/22/21 02:20 PM (2 years, 4 months ago)

I believe you do have OCD.
are you being medicated for it or in some kind of CBT regime?

My daughter has intense OCD but is now raising a family and is a respected psychotherapist. No drugs are involved in her work or her own daily management.

when you say you can't focus or concentrate, I think you lack the core requirements to have benefits from psychedelics.

when you say that paranoid delusions are the same as OCD I think you lack the understanding that the delusions come from a state of mind that borders on dreamstate and emotionality. Yes OCD can drive you to an emotionality state, but OCD is not the same as paranoid delusional.
if your dignosis of paranoid delusional OCD is combined it is to tell the next psych worker that you are a difficult case who is on the edge of lack of control.

when someone is on the edge of lack of control they are usually medicated for the benefit of themselves (AND EVERYONE ELSE) i.e. they are medicated because we as a tribe cannot trust them to be part of society without causing a ruckus, a fuss, crimes against people and their 'possessions'.

the definitive answer is we do not know you, and we are not sure we want to know you.

Do you have any idea how many months Milarepa sat and meditated at the gate of the monastery before they let him in? Yes, he became a famous Tibetan saint, but his mind was an unruly mess. He accepted that, and he found a way to apply himself, to concentrate, to prioritize, to cause no harm, to be persistent but not insistent.

this is not a monastery, you are not Milarepa. but you have to find your core ability and exercise it in non-threatening and productive ways: psychedelics are mind manifesting drugs, they cause more mind to engage, but if mind is a mess it is just more mess.

the mess is from habits, not from genetics, not really treatable, but non-psychedelics can help contain your behavior, until you can detach the reflex habits.


--------------------
:confused: _ :brainfart:🧠  _ :finger:

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Offlinejdawg333
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Re: Can I please get a definitive answer? [Re: Abigherdofturd]
    #27553846 - 11/22/21 04:17 PM (2 years, 4 months ago)

I'm not sure I've ever seen anybody recommend 3 g of penis envy mushrooms for somebody who is a bit hesitant. 1-1.5 grams can apparently be a super strong trip. Like, loss of contact with reality.

Beginner dose for normal cubensis mushrooms is generally 0.75-1.5 g (with 1 g being a happy medium IME), for penis envy I'd just do 0.5 g to test the potency. 0.75-1.5 g of normal cubes can still be quite potent but has always left me quite in control and able to 'keep it together'. I would research penis envy mushroom dosages more if that's what you're using though.

I would be wary of doing so if you have any kind of concern over your mental state before dosing though. Mushrooms are very powerful and although they aren't toxic in the slightest they can affect your mind quite a bit until they wear off, and depending on the trip can leave you a bit out of it in the days afterward.

Edited by jdawg333 (11/22/21 04:17 PM)

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OfflineAbigherdofturd
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Re: Can I please get a definitive answer? [Re: redgreenvines]
    #27553962 - 11/22/21 05:22 PM (2 years, 4 months ago)

I've tried 5-6 medications for anxiety and depression/OCD, I've tried CBT therapy, ERP therapy, EMDR therapy, group therapy, regular talk therapy, and more I can't remember the name of. I also eliminated every food except meat and water for 51 straight days and it did nothing for my mental health. I've been forcefully admitted to a psych ward. I'm not some rookie to the mental health field. I'm aware all you get when you need a psychologist is some dumbass "social worker." I've had about 10 of them. Complete morons who's advice is "try taking a walk" or "Oh that reminds me of my friend stacy who..." They aren't fit to be therapists. They claim they're basically the "same thing as a psychologist" even though they literally can have 1-3rd the schooling of one. That's like saying a nurse is basically a brain surgeon. I've been fucked up since I've been like 7-8 years old, unable to connect to people, severe emotional issues, maybe from being molested I don't know. I don't know if you can be completely confident in saying my issues aren't partially genetic since my mother was an anorexic women in her 40s in lots of chronic pain probably abusing pain meds and was an alcoholic when she was pregnant with me so good chance I'm somewhat of a booze baby. Both my parents clearly have shitty genetics since I've had back problems since I've been 11 years old. Along with vision issues, arthritis in places, shit like that. I don't have any motivation to change because I have no care for life in general. ALL I feel when I imagine dying in this moment right now is pure bliss. That's one of the truest things I can tell you about myself. Feels like all this weight falls off me and I'm so excited for it all to end. They wanted to put me on antipsychotics but I refuse to be some zombie and call that a cure. Especially when their "further progression" is talking to some moron about how I feel about that while they stare at the clock and nothing changes. I've done "therapy" for like 8 straight years now and it hasn't helped me ONE bit.

Also my dads sister was in and out of psych wards her whole life and my moms brother was kinda crazy and tried to kill their mom so I wouldn't say "its not genetic" so fast there. At least in terms of my mental stability. My moms side, including herself, is filled with alcoholics, and supposedly that has a genetic component.

Edited by Abigherdofturd (11/22/21 05:37 PM)

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OfflineAbigherdofturd
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Re: Can I please get a definitive answer? [Re: Socrateshroom]
    #27553966 - 11/22/21 05:24 PM (2 years, 4 months ago)

I've never had someone relate to me when I talk about horrendous brain fog that completely overtakes their mind 24/7. Doctors haven't been any help. My blood levels are normal, thyroids normal, don't have any allergies,etc. Been on many medications, I've been healthy bodyweight and unhealthy bodyweight, nothing effects that fogginess. Idk if its constant severe anxiety or what. Someone described the sensation I describe once as "a constant perpetual crisis" and I think that's accurate. I constantly obsess over time and everything just feels fucked up constantly. I do think I need to get away from my current life but I don't know where to go. Honestly I think if someone offered me a way out, like going to live in some monk village for a year or maybe even permanent I'd take the chance.

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OfflineMindScaper
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Re: Can I please get a definitive answer? [Re: Abigherdofturd]
    #27554063 - 11/22/21 06:24 PM (2 years, 4 months ago)

Sorry to hear about your struggle man. It bothers me on a personal level whenever I hear about peoples difficulties, especially regarding mental health. I'm somewhat of an empath.

I won't contribute more to the aforementioned discussion, other than to say I really don't feel you're in a situation to be using any psychedelic substance at the moment. It would be wise to take heed from some of the comments here that are from people much older, wiser and more experienced in this regard.

I just wanted to say that regarding getting away from your current life, there are options there. Have you thought about therapeutic communities? Maybe the change in environment coupled with active participation in daily life could be something beneficial to you. I don't know where you are in the world, but if you're in the USA check this out:

https://artausa.org/residential-mental-health-directory/.

I'm sure there are similar things in other countries. I know we have therapeutic residential communities for mental health in the UK where I am.
Best wishes and peace to you brother. There is hope.

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OfflineAbigherdofturd
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Re: Can I please get a definitive answer? [Re: MindScaper]
    #27554077 - 11/22/21 06:34 PM (2 years, 4 months ago)

Appreciate that and I'll check it out. Just not sure if I'd fit in. This psychiatrist nurse assistant or some shit to a psychiatrist literally asked me "do you get sad sometimes" and I was like "yeah I guess" and then "do you get real happy" and I'd be like uh no not really, sometimes I'm happier like any person but- and she interrupts me going OH YOU MUST BE BIPOLAR! THATS THE ONE! I was like seriously lady you're just trying to push meds on me to fit into your box and push me out the door. Idk if I'd fit in with any of the people at this place you've linked me because I don't know anyone who's issues are "severe brain fog and brain feels weird in a way I can't quite describe but besides that supposed feeling seem pretty coherent and intelligent enough". Idk if I really fit the criteria for a doctor to think I need treatment centers to live in or stay in or whatever. Doubt they could help me anyhow, no one else has. I prefer unspoken bonds. Only way I don't fuck it up.

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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: Can I please get a definitive answer? [Re: Abigherdofturd]
    #27554105 - 11/22/21 06:54 PM (2 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Also my dads sister was in and out of psych wards her whole life and my moms brother was kinda crazy and tried to kill their mom so I wouldn't say "its not genetic" so fast there. At least in terms of my mental stability. My moms side, including herself, is filled with alcoholics, and supposedly that has a genetic component.




In most cases when families have mental illnesses in them it is because the behavior exposure is hard on the next generation, and the glib comments by sophisticated people who understand zero about genetics is misleading.

sickened relatives can make you ill, but you do not need to join the fray of the damaged goods people, and I can see they have already gotten to you with 5 years of medication and crap.

I wrote up something in your other thread about microdosing.

what kind of work do you do?


--------------------
:confused: _ :brainfart:🧠  _ :finger:

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