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OfflineSocrateshroomS
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Registered: 09/05/18
Posts: 1,495
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The Enkidu-BlindAss-Socrates Pact * 3
    #27468551 - 09/14/21 08:58 PM (11 days, 6 hours ago)

Our pact thread. Let’s post our journeys here, and see if we might discover the source of our fear/hesitation or other issues plaguing us on our journey to return to the promise land. Everyone is welcome to join and discuss with us.

Perhaps our pact can do more than just hold us accountable for our promises to ourselves. Perhaps we can heal together.

I’m going to make this a space where I’ll be radically open. I’m tired of being closed off. I love you all and you’ve lit a spark in me.

So I’ll start the dialogue on this journey. Today I realized that my previous and current addictions arise from fear. Although I’ve been sober (alcohol) for almost a year and a half, I have other vices I turn to when I feel fear.

And perhaps that’s why I’ve been running away from the psychedelic experience. I’m afraid. Afraid that my life will continue in this hellish circle. Afraid that I’ll be alone forever. Even afraid of getting my second vaccine dose tomorrow.

And all of this fear bleeds into fear of doing the things that I want to. Because I’m afraid I’ll fail.


--------------------


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Offlineindividualist
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Registered: 05/03/18
Posts: 379
Loc: Central Florida
Last seen: 11 days, 5 hours
Re: The Enkidu-BlindAss-Socrates Pact [Re: Socrateshroom]
    #27468585 - 09/14/21 09:32 PM (11 days, 5 hours ago)

Haha my issue is I moved away from Florida and am running out of stash


--------------------
Question with boldness


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OfflineEnkidu
"No-Such-Person"
Male

Registered: 07/09/16
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Re: The Enkidu-BlindAss-Socrates Pact [Re: Socrateshroom] * 1
    #27468587 - 09/14/21 09:33 PM (11 days, 5 hours ago)

Honored to be in a pact with you both :hatsoff:

I see we are being radically honest, something I can get behind :rockon:

I too have been scared.

The last two years have been the most difficult strenuous years of my life

I feel exhausted, and the endless chaos and business of the last two years have climaxed into a repetitive cycle of work and exhaustion and the realization of the situation I have gotten myself into, the failures of my life and my actions that landed me here, and the long road to a goal and dream that seems impossible to reach

It seems it is the calm following the chaos in which I am finding the need for some sort of inspiration and a kick out of the depression and funk I seem unable to overcome.


--------------------
Within You , Without You


:mushroom2::levitate::mushroom2:


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Invisiblewolfman42
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Registered: 01/06/21
Posts: 233
Re: The Enkidu-BlindAss-Socrates Pact [Re: Enkidu]
    #27468732 - 09/15/21 12:17 AM (11 days, 2 hours ago)

I love quests :cheers: Please come back with stories of fortune and gold and pirates and goblins too.

:pipesmoke2:


Edited by wolfman42 (09/15/21 12:19 AM)


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OfflineThe Blind Ass
Love affair with reality
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 12,334
Loc: The Primordial Mind
Last seen: 3 hours, 54 minutes
Re: The Enkidu-BlindAss-Socrates Pact [Re: Enkidu] * 1
    #27468733 - 09/15/21 12:18 AM (11 days, 2 hours ago)

I relate to it all from you both and others here so very much, as I’ve been following your struggles & triumphs for some time...I’ve never felt that all hope was lost.  This pact may be the first thing that’s meant something to me in a way that I’ve been missing for a while.  Mega kudos for suggesting it Soc. I always had a feeling about certain members here on the boards.  Soc & Enk being just two of many.  That being so, I’m truly glad to partake in this, whatever it is.  Update: My little BRF cakes will be ready for their inoculations in about 8 hours once they’ve cooled down - and from there it’s just letting nature take it’s course till they bear fungal fruit.  I’m going to prepare for this (these) trips - as well as my detox - and subsequent sober and integrated healthy life like I never have before.  I wonder what happens when we turn our true will towards the great way/path alluded to throughout history by so many great men & women alike?  That’s most worthy of investigating and discovering for oneself.  Illumination and action being simultaneous, like a mirror confronting a form - may we carry ourselves in secret happiness despite illusory situations and circumstances - knowing we are not alone- a spiritual brother or friend is the greatest prize this universe has to offer. 

Despite any and all situations I now and will eventually face  - I will descend inward and tap the core and ascend again to the middle plane for better or worse.  There is still so much to give and so much to do and so much to share in this life.  The cleansing of one’s own heart, the non-doing of evil, the performance of what is skillful - and the cruelty & playfulness of life....let us enjoi the struggles and the blisses alike.  Paradox and contradictions and confusion - with action- let’s cut through and provide a gap to leap and breakthrough our imputed & small mindedly perceived limitations and obstacles.  An impeccable attitude towards it all, all things considered, will be indispensable for us all.  As is radical honesty, coolheaded equanimity / patience, true reflection, and joyful appreciation.

Towards redemption, strengthened is the seeker!

Transformation mode enacted.  Don’t focus on the pain, but don’t forget it either.  Let’s go baby!

I am grateful for the shroomery & I love you all.
:mushroom2:

May this contribute to the awakening of the pure mind of all beings


--------------------
Give me Liberty caps - or - give me Death caps


Edited by The Blind Ass (09/15/21 12:25 AM)


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Offlineanimalsfyv
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Registered: 09/12/21
Posts: 117
Last seen: 2 hours, 24 minutes
Re: The Enkidu-BlindAss-Socrates Pact [Re: The Blind Ass]
    #27468737 - 09/15/21 12:26 AM (11 days, 2 hours ago)

When I took the whole ounce of shrooms, I pulled my pants down and got on my hands and knees.  I was waiting for the peak to get stronger and kill me.  Everything looks like a crop circle made by aliens.  The sign never stops.  It just keeps spinning and spinning and spinning in your head like a spider making a spider web you could go off like a powder keg no rhyme happens you lean on the edge of falling and never again balling. 
When I came down I wrote a ten page essay about the lesson of the trip.


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Offlineanatomality
Nothern Counterpart
I'm a teapot


Registered: 05/31/20
Posts: 658
Loc: North East
Last seen: 1 day, 26 minutes
Re: The Enkidu-BlindAss-Socrates Pact [Re: animalsfyv] * 1
    #27468741 - 09/15/21 12:41 AM (11 days, 2 hours ago)

I love this thread.

Good work.


--------------------
“The strength of a person's spirit would then be measured by how much 'truth' he could tolerate, or more precisely, to what extent he needs to have it diluted, disguised, sweetened, muted, falsified.”


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OfflineSocrateshroomS
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Registered: 09/05/18
Posts: 1,495
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Last seen: 1 day, 15 hours
Re: The Enkidu-BlindAss-Socrates Pact [Re: The Blind Ass] * 1
    #27468972 - 09/15/21 08:17 AM (10 days, 18 hours ago)

Quote:

Enkidu said:
Honored to be in a pact with you both :hatsoff:

I see we are being radically honest, something I can get behind :rockon:

I too have been scared.

The last two years have been the most difficult strenuous years of my life

I feel exhausted, and the endless chaos and business of the last two years have climaxed into a repetitive cycle of work and exhaustion and the realization of the situation I have gotten myself into, the failures of my life and my actions that landed me here, and the long road to a goal and dream that seems impossible to reach

It seems it is the calm following the chaos in which I am finding the need for some sort of inspiration and a kick out of the depression and funk I seem unable to overcome.




Glad you're here. If you want to elaborate more on your troubles, we'd love to be here and listen.

I know where you're coming from. I'm going to continue this mission of radical honesty and pour myself into this thread.

For the last few years I've been in a similar "endless cycle", especially ringing true to the part you said "failures of my life". I've been in a dead end job for a few years now with not enough energy to try and get out.

More relevantly to my issues however, I've been alone (romantically speaking) for over 4 years now. On top of that, I don't have all that many friends and the ones I do have, have become more self-involved than ever, only really coming around when they can benefit in some tangible way. So the crippling loneliness had been destroying me for some time now, and it got even worse when COVID started.

And i'll get into it more in a bit, just wanted to get some dialogue going this morning.

Quote:

The Blind Ass said:
I relate to it all from you both and others here so very much, as I’ve been following your struggles & triumphs for some time...I’ve never felt that all hope was lost.  This pact may be the first thing that’s meant something to me in a way that I’ve been missing for a while.  Mega kudos for suggesting it Soc. I always had a feeling about certain members here on the boards.  Soc & Enk being just two of many.  That being so, I’m truly glad to partake in this, whatever it is.  Update: My little BRF cakes will be ready for their inoculations in about 8 hours once they’ve cooled down - and from there it’s just letting nature take it’s course till they bear fungal fruit.  I’m going to prepare for this (these) trips - as well as my detox - and subsequent sober and integrated healthy life like I never have before.  I wonder what happens when we turn our true will towards the great way/path alluded to throughout history by so many great men & women alike?  That’s most worthy of investigating and discovering for oneself.  Illumination and action being simultaneous, like a mirror confronting a form - may we carry ourselves in secret happiness despite illusory situations and circumstances - knowing we are not alone- a spiritual brother or friend is the greatest prize this universe has to offer. 

Despite any and all situations I now and will eventually face  - I will descend inward and tap the core and ascend again to the middle plane for better or worse.  There is still so much to give and so much to do and so much to share in this life.  The cleansing of one’s own heart, the non-doing of evil, the performance of what is skillful - and the cruelty & playfulness of life....let us enjoi the struggles and the blisses alike.  Paradox and contradictions and confusion - with action- let’s cut through and provide a gap to leap and breakthrough our imputed & small mindedly perceived limitations and obstacles.  An impeccable attitude towards it all, all things considered, will be indispensable for us all.  As is radical honesty, coolheaded equanimity / patience, true reflection, and joyful appreciation.

Towards redemption, strengthened is the seeker!

Transformation mode enacted.  Don’t focus on the pain, but don’t forget it either.  Let’s go baby!

I am grateful for the shroomery & I love you all.
:mushroom2:

May this contribute to the awakening of the pure mind of all beings




Thank you, glad to be here with you. And I echo this sentiment about the value of this pact. You guys have awakened in me something that I've hid for too long. My spiritual and emotional self. I've been empty and meaningless for so long. But for me too, this pact finally gives me something meaningful.

I love everything you said. I'll say more later but I'm in a rush to face my fears and get that second dose.

See you guys in a bit!

:loveheart:


--------------------


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OfflineSocrateshroomS
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Registered: 09/05/18
Posts: 1,495
Loc: Westworld
Last seen: 1 day, 15 hours
Re: The Enkidu-BlindAss-Socrates Pact [Re: Socrateshroom] * 1
    #27469466 - 09/15/21 04:31 PM (10 days, 10 hours ago)

So I just had a pretty scary experience.

I walked outside to sit on a bench near the pharmacy and wait 15 minutes after the vaccine just in-case.

Time slowed down to a halt and I felt like my heart stopped. In a panic I got up to rush to the pharmacy as clearly something was very wrong. As I started walking forward I started losing consciousness. As I was in the process of fainting, I ran into a parked motorcycle and passed out. I hit my head on the pavement (which I do not remember as I was out at that point), but a friend was with me and ran to break my fall enough so that I didn't split my head open (and it would've been real bad if someone wasn't there to break my fall).

I started regaining consciousness 30 or so seconds later enough to be helped to the pharmacy. They monitored me for about an hour during which time I slowly improved. My head still hurts from the fall but I'm glad to be alive.

During this whole ordeal I had what I consider a "death" experience. I thought my heart stopped as I could not feel a pulse, hence why I got up to rush the pharmacy.

In the aftermath, my life feels renewed. Our pact means even more to me now, and if this is my second chance at life, I don't want to waste it.


--------------------


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OfflineThe Blind Ass
Love affair with reality
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 12,334
Loc: The Primordial Mind
Last seen: 3 hours, 54 minutes
Re: The Enkidu-BlindAss-Socrates Pact [Re: Socrateshroom] * 1
    #27469662 - 09/15/21 07:57 PM (10 days, 7 hours ago)

Holy shit.  Glad your okay man.  How do you feel right now?  I know that question is loaded considering what this thread is about, and that you almost knocked your head off, but also that you might feel off for a day or two from the vaccine - but let it out.

Did anyone around you have any idea why you reacted that way?  I know some people are sensitive to getting poked with needles, and the whole vax/antivax thing floating around in everyone’s heads doesn’t help a lot either - but still.  That’s scary.  But maybe a fluke?  Let’s hope.   

There’s nothing like a death scare to get a fire lit under our butts to get us to try and live “right”.  When I initially relapsed was so down in the dumps I felt like I wanted to die - and I supposedly did die on my first use, I say supposedly because I am still here (luckily).  After coming to I decided I didn’t want to self destruct like that ever again - and noticed I’d been in a hellish cycle of addiction/recovery and, in part, doing so because of my way of viewing-handling life,  my conditioned attitudes (reflected in my thinking monologues, voice/words, and actions/behaviors), and this dogged resistance towards natural growth needed for greater self responsibility.  I didn’t want to sell out, but I know now that whole notion is overblown and loaded and a lot of times misguided so I’m working now to fix the error of my old ways.  On the plus side I’m starting a disciplined daily routine and regiment for the days ahead - will update about that later. 

Aging, getting sick, pain, the potential for sickness and pain, suffering, and death - all those things that are actual to peoples lives or on their way to becoming real for people are going to linger in the unconscious - but I think, from knowing & seeing decently good and decently adjusted people in life, that there are ways to play and contend with it all.  I’m starting to recognize the need for paying homage to that ancient part(s) of our brain that were meant to help keep us alive through thick and thin - those parts are having trouble adjusting to modern society - for me. 


Not to mention how naked and transparent everything is in society, it’s absurd yet we mostly go on with it casually.  Such pain and suffering and being a part of it all gives something almost like a weird ptsd,  it’s like they(certain brain areas)  are still on high alert at awkward times when it’s unnecessary, figuratively acting like the sky is going to fall - or literally lik a relationship I’ve cultivated with someone dear is going to blow up in my face over something totally beyond my control  - or self defeating beliefs that things like finishing my higher education will do nothing but riddle me with debt and contribute to a further sense of slavery to work, money, and debt - others, etc etc.  just become self fulfilling prophecy ...well If I’m a prophet for my own life I may as well forcast for better weather and a better future, ha. 


Why not?  I’m not saying I believe in things like “the secret” (book) . I find it completely for the naive and its basic beliefs fall apart with a slight breeze, but you know what I’m saying, hopefully.  Change, that’s what I’m saying.  Change!  Not just wishful thinking.  Toward the natural, toward the genuine, toward redemption, toward growth, toward meaningful interaction, towards peace.


All the aforementioned fears are not entirely or necessarily even true or if they are it’s not a biggie all things considered -  bc either all of it can be worked with or not, it has to be, given the human condition.  Just a lot easier to work/play with those things when working from a sober baseline and saving substances for their appropriate niche occasions.  Yesterday or so ago I knocked myself down from 16mg of Suboxone to 4mg and I’ve been in bed having cold sweats, fatigued, and mostly stuck in REM mode dreaming nightmares all day today (the content of which I could write on about forever, but I’ll spare you all), but now that I’m up and have washed my face and brushed my teeth and ate, and saw that some loved ones have checked on me I feel better.  Progress is being made and it’s worth it and we both know that from experience.  Anywho.



The unconscious is wildly psychedelic in darkish ways but its odd still, like a paper Tiger that can inflict damage by paper cut....cut by cut over time it can kill , and I’m starting to see just how important it is paying homage to it (that part of ourselves & reality) through prayer or esoteric ritual - like art or music- or psychedelic experience - or religion, writing/reading fantasy, sex, or gardening - or whatever! - I’m looking at it now more like they function to shake hands with our shadow in a way that can then even us out egoically to our right size in a way that makes a positive impact on our day to day lives, from the point of view of our higher self.  Synthesize the paradox of conscious & unconscious however you can healthily.  I know dreaming already works like this to an extent, but the psychedelic experience to me is like if a dream had a birthday.  And that’s so beautiful and I’m so grateful it’s part of the human experience, bc to me it epitomizes everything about everything  - I truly do love it. And it shows me I truly do care about life.  I’m blessed to have run across it and you lot!  Lots of potential, but I’m not rushing into it haphazardly with mushrooms again - but neither am I postponing it out of irrational fear  - I am fully committed and highly motivated now.

Just got  my APES going this morning so now it’s only a matter of time :mushroom2:

Glad your okay, bc if you had died before fulfilling the pact Enkidu and I would have had to summon you from the depths to pay your dues for backing out :rofl::heart::thumbup:

Btw’s, How you doing Enkidu?
Also - Wishing everyone exactly what they need. :mushroom2:


--------------------
Give me Liberty caps - or - give me Death caps


Edited by The Blind Ass (09/15/21 10:13 PM)


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OfflineDeadhead410
Cosmic Explorer
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Registered: 05/06/18
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Last seen: 3 hours, 57 minutes
Re: The Enkidu-BlindAss-Socrates Pact [Re: The Blind Ass] * 1
    #27469714 - 09/15/21 08:35 PM (10 days, 6 hours ago)

I’m so glad you guys are doing this. I am looking  forward to reading more. There’s something about straight up gut wrenching honesty…
@TBA- great job cutting down from 16 to 4!! Stay strong! I’ll be sending positive thoughts your way. I’ve been through the same cycle you’re going through. It sucks, but we both know it gets better!


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OfflineSocrateshroomS
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Registered: 09/05/18
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Re: The Enkidu-BlindAss-Socrates Pact [Re: The Blind Ass]
    #27469751 - 09/15/21 08:57 PM (10 days, 6 hours ago)

Quote:

Even death is going to be an experience to be intensely lived, and watched, allowed.


-Osho

There’s nothing like an experience of perceived death to obliterate your suicidal ideation. In terms of that I’ve been laughing all day and am in absolute love with this beautiful world again.

But I have a fever and am feeling like I have the flu so I’m a bit out of it. Will dig into everything you said tomorrow, just wanted to drop in and thank you for checking in on me.

Quote:

The Blind Ass said:
Glad your okay, bc if you had died before fulfilling the pact Enkidu and I would have had to summon you from the depths to pay your dues for backing out :rofl::heart::thumbup:
?




I love you guys :heart:


--------------------


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OfflineEnkidu
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Male

Registered: 07/09/16
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Re: The Enkidu-BlindAss-Socrates Pact [Re: Socrateshroom] * 1
    #27469775 - 09/15/21 09:16 PM (10 days, 5 hours ago)

Holy shit Socrates. That's crazy as fuck


Glad you're alright man

@TBA

Wild man, sounds like you're going through it. Need to stay strong and push through, having a grow going should be a good part of the entire healing process.

You guys reading any books atm ?

Just the same old day in and day out for me, work life, home life, taking care of my daughter when I have her. Always exhausted


--------------------
Within You , Without You


:mushroom2::levitate::mushroom2:


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InvisibleStanleyTheObese
Registered: 06/14/21
Posts: 51
Re: The Enkidu-BlindAss-Socrates Pact [Re: Enkidu] * 1
    #27470022 - 09/16/21 12:38 AM (10 days, 2 hours ago)

:borat:


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OfflineSocrateshroomS
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Registered: 09/05/18
Posts: 1,495
Loc: Westworld
Last seen: 1 day, 15 hours
Re: The Enkidu-BlindAss-Socrates Pact [Re: The Blind Ass]
    #27470441 - 09/16/21 12:12 PM (9 days, 14 hours ago)

Thanks Enkidu and TBA, doing much better today.


Quote:

The Blind Ass said:
Did anyone around you have any idea why you reacted that way?  I know some people are sensitive to getting poked with needles, and the whole vax/antivax thing floating around in everyone’s heads doesn’t help a lot either - but still.  That’s scary.  But maybe a fluke?  Let’s hope.




Apparently it's a rare (but not very rare side effect) known as vasovagal syncope with causes being anxiety/stress/panic/predisposition to fainting. I later spoke with my parents and found out that when I was vaccinated as a child, I would pass out. So it seems I'm prone to vasovagal syncope. It could be because I worked myself up a bit about the second dose, hearing that the side effects are much worse. Didn't happen on my first dose because I wasn't as worked up over it.

Either way, glad I did it. Feeling a lot better today, just some residual pain.   

Quote:

The Blind Ass said:
There’s nothing like a death scare to get a fire lit under our butts to get us to try and live “right”. When I initially relapsed was so down in the dumps I felt like I wanted to die - and I supposedly did die on my first use, I say supposedly because I am still here (luckily). After coming to I decided I didn’t want to self destruct like that ever again - and noticed I’d been in a hellish cycle of addiction/recovery and, in part, doing so because of my way of viewing-handling life,  my conditioned attitudes (reflected in my thinking monologues, voice/words, and actions/behaviors), and this dogged resistance towards natural growth needed for greater self responsibility.




Absolutely. Glad you stayed with us. This "dogged resistance towards natural growth" is what gets me too. It's like my ego resists change because its "scary". So I too get stuck in the loops of doing the same bullshit day in and day out to not upset the status quo. Because at worst, changing my behaviors could be fatal. But by not changing them, I guarantee not having a life anyway. So death as a consequence of change becomes less scary. Because then there can be a rebirth.

Quote:

The Blind Ass said:
Aging, getting sick, pain, the potential for sickness and pain, suffering, and death - all those things that are actual to peoples lives or on their way to becoming real for people are going to linger in the unconscious - but I think, from knowing & seeing decently good and decently adjusted people in life, that there are ways to play and contend with it all.  I’m starting to recognize the need for paying homage to that ancient part(s) of our brain that were meant to help keep us alive through thick and thin - those parts are having trouble adjusting to modern society - for me.




Interesting. What do you mean by the "ancient part(s) of our brain"? 

Quote:

The Blind Ass said:
Not to mention how naked and transparent everything is in society, it’s absurd yet we mostly go on with it casually.  Such pain and suffering and being a part of it all gives something almost like a weird ptsd,  it’s like they(certain brain areas)  are still on high alert at awkward times when it’s unnecessary, figuratively acting like the sky is going to fall - or literally like a relationship I’ve cultivated with someone dear is going to blow up in my face over something totally beyond my control  - or self defeating beliefs that things like finishing my higher education will do nothing but riddle me with debt and contribute to a further sense of slavery to work, money, and debt - others, etc etc.  just become self fulfilling prophecy ...well If I’m a prophet for my own life I may as well forecast for better weather and a better future, ha.




Hell yeah. Isn't it funny how easy it is to see the suffering and how blind we are to the beauty? There's so much more beauty than we can imagine.

Quote:

The Blind Ass said:
All the aforementioned fears are not entirely or necessarily even true or if they are it’s not a biggie all things considered -  bc either all of it can be worked with or not, it has to be, given the human condition.  Just a lot easier to work/play with those things when working from a sober baseline and saving substances for their appropriate niche occasions.  Yesterday or so ago I knocked myself down from 16mg of Suboxone to 4mg and I’ve been in bed having cold sweats, fatigued, and mostly stuck in REM mode dreaming nightmares all day today (the content of which I could write on about forever, but I’ll spare you all), but now that I’m up and have washed my face and brushed my teeth and ate, and saw that some loved ones have checked on me I feel better.  Progress is being made and it’s worth it and we both know that from experience.  Anywho.





Super happy for you. As Jordan Peterson said, "If you teach someone to give something up, it's a hell of a lot easier than if it's forced from them as they're very likely to resist". So I'm glad you're making this decision on your own and taking it into your own hands. I'm here all day everyday if you need someone to vent to.

Quote:

The Blind Ass said:
The unconscious is wildly psychedelic in darkish ways but its odd still, like a paper Tiger that can inflict damage by paper cut....cut by cut over time it can kill , and I’m starting to see just how important it is paying homage to it (that part of ourselves & reality) through prayer or esoteric ritual - like art or music- or psychedelic experience - or religion, writing/reading fantasy, sex, or gardening - or whatever! - I’m looking at it now more like they function to shake hands with our shadow in a way that can then even us out egoically to our right size in a way that makes a positive impact on our day to day lives, from the point of view of our higher self.  Synthesize the paradox of conscious & unconscious however you can healthily.  I know dreaming already works like this to an extent, but the psychedelic experience to me is like if a dream had a birthday.  And that’s so beautiful and I’m so grateful it’s part of the human experience, bc to me it epitomizes everything about everything  - I truly do love it. And it shows me I truly do care about life.  I’m blessed to have run across it and you lot!  Lots of potential, but I’m not rushing into it haphazardly with mushrooms again - but neither am I postponing it out of irrational fear  - I am fully committed and highly motivated now.





Have you ever read Carl Jung's Psychology and Alchemy?

You have such a way with words when discussing the psychedelic experience and/or the shadow parts of our psyche that you might be the reincarnation of Jung.

Quote:

The Blind Ass said:
Just got  my APES going this morning so now it’s only a matter of time :mushroom2:





:fuckyeah:

How do you feel about APEs? I love cultivating them but the trip feels incredibly jarring. Doesn't help that they are unbelievably strong (in my experience).


--------------------


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OfflineThe Blind Ass
Love affair with reality
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 12,334
Loc: The Primordial Mind
Last seen: 3 hours, 54 minutes
Re: The Enkidu-BlindAss-Socrates Pact [Re: Socrateshroom]
    #27470499 - 09/16/21 12:46 PM (9 days, 14 hours ago)

I hope hoped that was the case, non the less the scare did the trick it sounds! 

As for the APES.  They can be a bit tricky but very potent.  I want to either try regular dosing once (eating dry), another with drinking tea, and a third with staggered dosing tea or dry to help with that all,  Though, sometimes they come up so quickly I launch past the come up so quickly and am in full psychedelic land before I’ve had a chance to freak myself out enough to mess up my mental state to contaminate the rest of the remaining trip..even though in my experience those type of trips can be salvaged too whilst still in them.  This upcoming time I’ll be taking them hopefully before, during in opiate withdrawal, and after it all -  so I’ll be abandoning myself to the experience completely - which I found in the past, due to increased ultra sensitivity from coming off opiates, to be beyond the regular magic of the fungi.  Like the magic mirror of the psychedelic state is purer coming at it from such a point as I’ll be doing.  Tough but doable and with support it’ll be manageable.  Cleansing energy and useful insight into underlying mechanic to my less than healthy ways and the whys of that plus actionable intelligence as to what to do about it.  I will follow through no matter what on this,


I’m prepping for this next 1-2 months for those trips every single day with healthy good routines and habits and relationships and exercise, mental stimulation through reading/writing philosophy, psychology, religion, mysticism, Sci fi, mythology, environmentalism, history, medicine, family and friends and more.  And of course, daily meditations & contemplative practices  to get the routine consistent again.  Less trolling online here and more positive contribution too - cynicism for cynicisms sake isn’t helpful much for anyone, so I’ll pu a stop to that and focu on real meaning during my brief time here as an embodied being and walk the path of peace .  Everyone’s going through different degrees of the bullshit and of Maya - illusion and delusion - and lending a helping hand helps me as much if not more than it helps others.  It’s difficult implementing all these changes of that at once right now due to my body going through big changes with the detox but it’s worth it I know that.  One step at a time - or big leaps at a time if that’s appropriate.


Either way I’m going to make this part of my on going recovery to health and sanity and productivity (towards more noble pursuits) and not just stop it after th physical symptom subside after a couple months.  It’s just so darn healthy when psychedelics are used appropriately in a supportive setting with supportive people and when one has cultivated and rekindled their primal confidence in dealing with their own “stuff” and the cosmos.  It’s beautiful for sure.  Not just, but beautiful is there too.  Grist for the mill.:mushroom2:


--------------------
Give me Liberty caps - or - give me Death caps


Edited by The Blind Ass (09/17/21 04:45 PM)


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Invisiblewolfman42
Stranger

Registered: 01/06/21
Posts: 233
Re: The Enkidu-BlindAss-Socrates Pact [Re: Socrateshroom]
    #27470505 - 09/16/21 12:52 PM (9 days, 14 hours ago)

I see the adventure is getting started!

Socrates, good you're still with us. I would've missed your contributions here. Agree TBA is always insightful.

Godspeed on those APEs. PEs are the ones that did it for me :mushroom2: :crazy2:


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OfflineSocrateshroomS
сталкер


Registered: 09/05/18
Posts: 1,495
Loc: Westworld
Last seen: 1 day, 15 hours
Re: The Enkidu-BlindAss-Socrates Pact [Re: wolfman42]
    #27471515 - 09/17/21 11:18 AM (8 days, 15 hours ago)

Quote:

wolfman42 said:
I see the adventure is getting started!

Socrates, good you're still with us. I would've missed your contributions here. Agree TBA is always insightful.

Godspeed on those APEs. PEs are the ones that did it for me :mushroom2: :crazy2:




Thank you! :heart:

Im definitely excited about going the distance with my PEs. I've had a few low and mid dose trips with them and it was amazing. APEs just leveled me and made me feel incredibly disoriented on a higher dose, much more so than any other variety. But they were incredible in lower doses.


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OfflineSub-Easy
slowly dying since birth
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/23/21
Posts: 460
Loc: USA NC Flag
Last seen: 7 days, 17 hours
Re: The Enkidu-BlindAss-Socrates Pact [Re: Socrateshroom]
    #27471822 - 09/17/21 04:37 PM (8 days, 10 hours ago)

I love your pact. I've always been in the S.N.A.F.U. club so I think y'all are doing just fine.


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OfflineEnkidu
"No-Such-Person"
Male

Registered: 07/09/16
Posts: 8,412
Last seen: 6 hours, 28 minutes
Re: The Enkidu-BlindAss-Socrates Pact [Re: Sub-Easy] * 2
    #27471926 - 09/17/21 06:24 PM (8 days, 8 hours ago)

Just adding a bit about my recent journey the last couple years.

Moved to a new state after getting this girl pregnant, broke up, got back together, had another kid, broke up, been through multiple jobs looking for a good place to try and build career skills. Liven in 4 or 5 different places last 2 years. No friends or family out here for most of it, always busy no time at all for tripping. Been trying to keep my head above water.

Think I've finally found a good place for work. Learning from a great man with lots of oldschool skill.

Trying to save money.

Trying to buy a house. Living in a shit hole. Need something better for my kids. Need to provide a good life for them. They deserve better than what I have for them right now.

So haven't tripped, no point, life is in such disastrous shape I need to get this shit sorted out before I can get back into those spirituals goals and pursuits. Been working on materialist goals last 2 years, still long way to go.

Life just changed, path switches up, different type of journey right now, ya know?

Been needing to stay firmly rooted in the materialist and normal societal duties part of reality.

I don't post on here as much besides money matters and recently getting pulled into the train wreck covid thread for too long.

Too busy, so much to do. No time. Tired and resting when I can. Depressed, exhausted, haven't been disciplined in my old ways and hobbies. No reading, no stretching, barely any nature, no meditating, no psychedelics, no friends no family.

Just me and my young one when I have her.

But life is good, things are good, moving in the right direction, trying to remain patient and diligent

Hope you all are well :heart:


--------------------
Within You , Without You


:mushroom2::levitate::mushroom2:


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