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bebop
Registered: 07/04/20
Posts: 125
Loc: nt.here_
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Should I try DMT?
#27429881 - 08/16/21 05:34 AM (2 years, 5 months ago) |
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So...I'm interested in trying DMT, but thought I'd see what others who've used it for a while have to say
My main reasoning is depression and hopelessness. I've been living with loneliness for as long as I can remember, and the depression since my last relationship ended 5 years ago has become a defining trait of who I am. I've lost every other part of me. I never feel motivated to do anything, so I often do nothing. My job & career is going really well, but I have nobody to talk to...at all. Nothing to look forward to. The state of the world is even more depressing as someone who values peace, love, happiness, and understanding in an overtly racist/bigoted world.
Mushrooms helped with all of that a year ago through quarantine especially. Since work started back up a few months ago, I haven't been able to dose as I'd like to. The microdoses help tremendously with the social aspect of things and keeping me positive around people (as well as cure my hangovers when I spend 5 days straight drinking til 5am to wake up at 7am for work). But when I've tried to really trip again, I'm afraid of how it would affect me. Not out of fear of the trip, but fear of coming back to/dealing with reality.
I had a friend visit last month, and we ate shrooms, drank, smoked, the whole weekend. One of the days, I tripped on ~4Gs(in chocolates) while we hiked a mountain. On the way down, it really started to hit me and the whole time I was fighting this feeling of letting go and enjoying the trip vs staying aware and making sure we were safe...because my friend couldn't be counted on for shit (not their fault..they never been on a mountain before). After convincing them to drive after climbing down, when we got back, they stayed on their phone for an hour, making me anxious af so I took a cold shower to dampen my trip and take control of things and do normal shit they like and make plans. (FWIW, I also hit a point where I climbed a steep part of the mountain and felt like I was going to black out to the shrooms, but pulled myself back into consciousness. After that I realized I was dehydrated and out of water so I asked my friend for some and we decided to head back down. The whole way down I was so afraid of losing consciousness again and falling down the fucking mountain, meanwhile I thought I had shit myself and thought that's why my friend was so far behind. In reality, he was physically struggling to go down a mountain I had gone up and down 20 times, and he was just as dehydrated as I was but he wasn't on shrooms. I didn't shit myself lol but when we got back, I pooped for like 5 continuous minutes on the toilet)
Basically, I've been dying for an opportunity to trip like that...comfortably. Thought I had one, but my friend just wasn't down to deal with me. The environment I live in is very loud and obnoxious, so I can't do it alone comfortably...and I don't have many other friends. Though I am in an area where it's not illegal so in theory I could try out one of those Trip Counselor or whatever things.
This has me thinking about DMT for the sake of a shorter, but just as impactful (or moreso) experience as if I were to trip on 4Gs comfortably. Another FWIW, one of my closest friends of 10+ years (knows all my ups and downs) who originally recommended me to try microdosing (which led to macrodosing), has recently gotten into doing DMT multiple times and she has advised me to stay away from it.
As work is back, I can feel the weeks slipping by. I'm back to my old, depressive ways. Due to my extreme uptick in drinking since the pandemic, and having started taking shrooms and meditating, I think I've noticed possibly serious health concerns with my liver & kidneys, and lumps that surely weren't there in 2019. My memory is also shit now, though I attribute it to the alcoholism...because I feel and think so much better on days where I didn't drink til 4am the night before. But all I've done since working is cancel appointments and use those sick days as days off...to drink.
When I was macrodosing every week or two, I rarely drank. I was extremely productive, despite being out of work. Sure I would maybe take a gram a couple days after the macrodose and go skating (where I was often wayy too careless, running red lights, bombing hills busy with traffic...I didn't realize until I brought someone along and they thought I was being really stupid). But I was making dentist/doctor appointments & showing up. I had broken some bones in my carelessness, but it was all so much fun and I wouldn't undo any of it, even the broken bones.
During this time, time skipped past me. I have little memory of it. I can't afford to get like that while I work, but I also can't take much more of the hopelessness and longing to...return. for lack of a better word. (I would really love to delve into what this means but this post is long enough)
I just want one good weekend to let loose, where I don't have to worry too much about my environment and don't have to have someone sober around, but can still have an impactful experience. Whenever I would have a good time tripping on anywhere from 2+ grams, the happiness lasted for weeks...
Thoughts?
Edited by bebop (08/16/21 05:42 AM)
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pineninja
Dream Weaver



Registered: 08/17/14
Posts: 12,468
Loc: South
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Re: Should I try DMT? [Re: bebop] 1
#27429883 - 08/16/21 05:38 AM (2 years, 5 months ago) |
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Have that trip sans friend.
The inability to let go whilst looking after another is always a struggle. You need personal space and alone time to go deep.
You may find the answers you seek with mushrooms. DMT will leave you with many more questions.
-------------------- Just a fool on the hill.
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bebop
Registered: 07/04/20
Posts: 125
Loc: nt.here_
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Re: Should I try DMT? [Re: pineninja]
#27429892 - 08/16/21 05:57 AM (2 years, 5 months ago) |
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I's difficult for me to find the right environment for that. Having a friend there, in theory, would make me more comfortable, but that's not what happened. I've been thinking about booking an Air BnB for a weekend but I'm worried that I'll regret the place I book, and (a little) worried that I might actually need help/someone to talk to when I realize how lonely I am in some random ass Air BnB all alone.
I wish I was comfortable in my own environment but my neighbors stomp on the floors, slam their doors, and bang on the walls if I play music loud enough where I don't have to hear their stomping and slamming. My AC is obnoxiously loud, and I'm always hot when I trip. If I open my windows, there is a theater next door that is playing outdoors, and currently it's a very loud and violent play. I really can't stand screams or yelling.
DMT is something I'd been thinkign about trying for a looong time. My mind goes a lot of places. Mushrooms makes those thoughts feel like home. I'm most comfortable asking questions. I have videos of myself where I;m just mid-trip asking random ass deep questions, happy, laughing... and watching them shits makes me cry cuz I want to be there again.. I want to be there all the time. Now, whenever I get a glimpse of happiness I literally stop myself and say "nope, remember: you're lonely as fuck"
but a lil DMT trip on a Saturday doesn't scare me.
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QM33
(NOT A PUPPET!) ❤❤❤❤❤



Registered: 04/09/20
Posts: 4,739
Loc: Oregon
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Re: Should I try DMT? [Re: pineninja]
#27429896 - 08/16/21 06:07 AM (2 years, 5 months ago) |
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Yes dmt will leave you witj more questions. But some of the questions you have now will no longer hold relevance. Maybe it will dosmiss some of those old worries and open you ip to newer more profound, appropriate, question. Of course you should try it. Its basically the same thing as mushrooms. They are bith tryptamines. Psilocybin turns to psilicin which is 4ho dmt.
And you are your biggest councelor with these medicines. But you need integration, contemplation and it van be hard to do alone. Honeatly im surr you cpuld find someone on here to bat ideas with. Of course its always nice to speak with an educated prkfessional, but its far from essential in most cases. And ya the duration has always been a turn on for me. Maximum effects with minimal commitment ha. I aint got time for that and in alot of cases when i was using dmt the most i didnt want to interqxt with my parents or girl high and it allowed me to do my medicine in peace.
Keep working at it. It doesnt come easy. Dont give up.
Go on a walk or a hike and do yoyr experiences, i could never gwt to into it in my house most of the time eithwr.
And you kniw i used to be like that, i fel hopeless. But i think after maybe my 15 to 20th time smoking dmt it complwtely dissapeared, and i mean completely. I was battleing depression and ptsd mt whole life probably. Mainly from foster care and addicted parents. And i had done shrooms acid and mdma and mda multiple times before this. But i focused really hard on it in between like 3 trip and i didnt even necessarily get addressed. Just all the pieces connected i guess is all i can say. And i feel like i had been broughten to "enlightenment" before that even, but all that held me back was my own mental anguish. And then it vanished. For whatevwr reason. I felt i had no purpose. And honestly, i now accept my purpose may never be as big as ide hoped, but that wasnt the poiny. The point was i was so distressed by this feeling of lack of purpose i let it consume my life. And idk how that even happened. Purpose is subjective. Just like standars, expectations. I hope you enjoy it.
-------------------- OmManiPadmeHum,OmManiPadmeHum, OmManiPadMeHum... There are known knowns, there are known unknowns, there are also unknown unknowns. With great privilege comes great responsibility.
  Quantom Qups PROOF AND Soft Drops Turn your Swab to a Syringe and Syringe to Multiple Syringes! No Pours (QuantomStyal)Magic Fruit Leather DMT for IandI
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pineninja
Dream Weaver



Registered: 08/17/14
Posts: 12,468
Loc: South
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Re: Should I try DMT? [Re: bebop]
#27429908 - 08/16/21 06:35 AM (2 years, 5 months ago) |
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Eye patches and earphones plus a locked door equal a safe space.
Do it after dark when all is quiet.
Removing yourself to a foreign place could go both ways....do it at home if you can.
-------------------- Just a fool on the hill.
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Failboat
Fuck Up
Registered: 02/01/18
Posts: 8,736
Last seen: 2 days, 17 hours
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Re: Should I try DMT? [Re: pineninja]
#27440032 - 08/23/21 07:16 PM (2 years, 5 months ago) |
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I find great zen in cultivation and extraction projects. Fortunately the materials needed for either are readily available with minimal costs. If you do a simple STB with some MHRB then perhaps you will be ready to use it, once prepared, as you'll have already started your journey here and now.
Fortunately DMT has the shelf-life of a God, and one pull can yield about a lifetime supply.
Setting achievable goals that build as stepping stones to even greater achievements can be very rewarding.
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gloveny
Stranger

Registered: 08/04/21
Posts: 15
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
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Re: Should I try DMT? [Re: Failboat] 1
#27445305 - 08/27/21 03:07 PM (2 years, 4 months ago) |
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I tied DMT for the first time and only time (not out of choice, the opportunity just never presented itself again since) and WOW. Never had anything like it.
I'm currently growing my first batch of shrooms and never done them before. Take shit loads of mdma, coke and all the party drugs (ket, g). Done LSD only about 5 times. Nothing comes close to DMT except poppers :-) Poppers (with a dash of ket) is how I would describe DMT. I did it with no presumptions and no idea I was about to do it. In hind site I owuld have been prepared for a more spiritual experience and took it more seriously but I wasnt and I was probably a bit drunk too. I ended up saying OH MY GOD for about 5 mins while it lasted. It was amazing and the furthest I'd ever been away from a typical mindful state I'd ever been. It is truly powerful and incredible and for me indescribable other than someone put your mind in a sling shot, pulled back and let go. For me the experience was over quickly. 10 mins max. Was my first and only time so I have no idea what other session times could be.
Go for it! At home. Be safe. No visitors :-)
Graham
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repeatingdigits
Stranger
Registered: 08/30/21
Posts: 8
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
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Re: Should I try DMT? [Re: gloveny]
#27449327 - 08/30/21 10:56 AM (2 years, 4 months ago) |
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Personally smokable DMT can be a bit more chaotic than I like, and doesn't seem to really offer much in the way of personal growth or evolution. It seems like more of a novelty, but that has just been my personal experience. I am sure that many people get a lot of good from it.
DMT in AYA is a different story. More transformational.
One thing that you may need to consider is the release of alcohol from your life. It is a major depressant and wreaks havoc on the mind and body.
Maybe look into some other medicines?
My journey started with Iboga a few years back. That was a huge catalyst for change in my life. Very powerful stuff. Incredible.
Also Kambo has been a great support and teacher. It is really wonderful for motivation, getting out of a funk, etc. Very accessible too.
Or have you ever considered microdosing San Pedro?
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