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 Skizor1337
Trip King
 
Registered: 06/19/12
Posts: 1,116
Loc: USA 
Last seen: 1 day, 6 hours
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 Experienced User - Having trouble going into the void  1
#27324206 - 05/26/21 06:32 PM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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So this is a little personal but I figure someone may have a little insight or give me an idea on what to do. This is a long one
I have been on so many journeys I have lost track over the past 10 years.
The best experiences have been alone for me but with a friend or lover was also amazing.
I have never really had a problem "getting comfortable" and by that I mean chilling somewhere and just either staring at my surroundings or closing my eyes and just riding some beautiful patterns.
I always start a stop watch when drinking tea and I can clearly remember a few trips in particular where I looked at the time and it was only 30 minutes in and I was basically peaking or what felt like I was haha. I could make it happen like clockwork. Amazing times
Fast forward to the past 2 years. Right after I broke up with my GF who was also my tripping partner.
I basically have had to start over.... new life being single and also finding myself again - in a sense of course.
I have been trying to buy a house for a while now but if anyone is familiar with the housing market you would know it's fucking insane. And for now I do not mind where I live but it's sometimes not easy to trip at.
Now my current living situation is not something I would call ideal. It's different than it was but I live with my Mom and have a finished basement to myself. Now that seems great except there is not a lot of room to really walk around. Also the bed folds down from the wall and takes up the majority of the living room/bedroom (all one room)
Now my Mom and I are close so what I do in my freetime is totally chill with her so life is good haha.
So when I do trip I tend to drink my tea
Lay/prop myself up a little bit on my bed and have my music playing.
The music is perfect for me.... I have messed around with playlists for years and have no problem with that aspect whatsoever. If anything the music has been my true guidance throughout the years but I digress.
My main problem has honestly been being comfortable I don't understand why I can't just chill in my bed on a heavy dose and just lose myself. I used to all the time even before my past girlfriend. It was almost effortless honestly. I have tried changing things up slightly but I kinda just need a little help.
I already have a big feeling that once I move into a house this really wont be a problem I can almost guarantee that.
I won't lie by the end of the trip I look back and I always have a good time but I feel like it's a battle between enjoying myself and being comfortable and sometimes I get upset.
And if you ever got slightly pissed while tripping OH GOD look the fuck out lol. I don't want to be anything but chill but something is wrong and I seriously need to figure this out as it's gone on for way to long.
I tried lemon balm tea that was suggested to me a long time ago and I honestly think it made me so chill I was really engaged in my trip LOL
I want to be chill but also very awake at the same time. I don't mean to sound counterintuitive or anything but for example if I were to smoke Indica while tripping I'd be very bored and also very out of it.
I tend to stick strictly to sativa and some hybrids but mostly sativa.
I am the type of person to beat myself up about things and lately tripping has been one because I just can't enjoy myself but would do anything TO enjoy myself. Can I not vibe for 4hrs and enjoy myself for once?
I also mentally and physically prepare myself each time I trip the week prior I already meditate everyday but will do it maybe twice a day and I just try to put myself in that mindset of "chill"
I never have any expectations during my trip but just to listen to my music which always happens anyway so that's covered.
I'm quite baked and wow there were a lot of EYES in this post haha.
I was taking 2.5gs for a while but 3.5gs has been more fullfilling overall and I honestly don't want to go lower in dose I just get too bored and music clearly sounds godly on that 1/8th
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silosound
Registered: 03/04/21
Posts: 135
Loc: CA
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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 Re: Experienced User - Having trouble going into the void [Re: Skizor1337]
#27324233 - 05/26/21 06:58 PM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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Unless I misinterpreted something it seems like your setting isn't ideal and you know it. So there's that.
It also seems like your set might be off... perhaps due to setting being off or possibly just the newness of your life right now?
If you think both of those are manageable then the only other thing I got is to ask more questions. Be curious. Be open. It seems like the mushrooms are trying to tell you something but maybe you're not listening? I would have you challenge your statement of going in without expectations. You're expecting a chill time but the mushrooms are giving you something else, no? Mushrooms kicked my ass pretty consistently for a while, it wasn't fun but in hindsight it was necessary and valuable.
Good luck!
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Skizor1337
Trip King
Registered: 06/19/12
Posts: 1,116
Loc: USA
Last seen: 1 day, 6 hours
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Re: Experienced User - Having trouble going into the void [Re: silosound]
#27324269 - 05/26/21 07:31 PM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
PsySounds said:
Unless I misinterpreted something it seems like your setting isn't ideal and you know it. So there's that.
It also seems like your set might be off... perhaps due to setting being off or possibly just the newness of your life right now?
If you think both of those are manageable then the only other thing I got is to ask more questions. Be curious. Be open. It seems like the mushrooms are trying to tell you something but maybe you're not listening? I would have you challenge your statement of going in without expectations. You're expecting a chill time but the mushrooms are giving you something else, no? Mushrooms kicked my ass pretty consistently for a while, it wasn't fun but in hindsight it was necessary and valuable.
Good luck!
I know the setting part is pretty rough but I kind of don't understand what you mean exactly. I mean my body gets physically sore during this experience and I sure question that the entire time lol
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100% Professional Psychonaut
Trippin' Aint Easy
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silosound
Registered: 03/04/21
Posts: 135
Loc: CA
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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Re: Experienced User - Having trouble going into the void [Re: Skizor1337]
#27324279 - 05/26/21 07:51 PM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Skizor1337 said:
Now my current living situation is not something I would call ideal...
Quote:
Skizor1337 said:
My main problem has honestly been being comfortable I don't understand why I can't just chill in my bed on a heavy dose and just lose myself. I used to all the time even before my past girlfriend. It was almost effortless honestly. I have tried changing things up slightly but I kinda just need a little help.
I already have a big feeling that once I move into a house this really wont be a problem I can almost guarantee that.
"Setting" is the physical space you are in. If you're not comfortable there it can affect the experience. The fact that you state you don't think it will be a problem once you have your own place indicates the setting is off. Maybe that's playing a role
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Skizor1337
Trip King
Registered: 06/19/12
Posts: 1,116
Loc: USA
Last seen: 1 day, 6 hours
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Re: Experienced User - Having trouble going into the void [Re: silosound]
#27324285 - 05/26/21 07:54 PM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
PsySounds said:
Quote:
Skizor1337 said:
Now my current living situation is not something I would call ideal...
Quote:
Skizor1337 said:
My main problem has honestly been being comfortable I don't understand why I can't just chill in my bed on a heavy dose and just lose myself. I used to all the time even before my past girlfriend. It was almost effortless honestly. I have tried changing things up slightly but I kinda just need a little help.
I already have a big feeling that once I move into a house this really wont be a problem I can almost guarantee that.
"Setting" is the physical space you are in. If you're not comfortable there it can affect the experience. The fact that you state you don't think it will be a problem once you have your own place indicates the setting is off. Maybe that's playing a role
What should i do friend ?
I want to make the best of it while I am still here
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100% Professional Psychonaut
Trippin' Aint Easy
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silosound
Registered: 03/04/21
Posts: 135
Loc: CA
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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Re: Experienced User - Having trouble going into the void [Re: Skizor1337]
#27324312 - 05/26/21 08:21 PM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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Aside from my original post, I pretty much gave all the advice I have. If you can frame your trips not as, "can't I just vibe for 4hrs and enjoy myself" but rather "what things am I uncovering and what does this mean" (or something, that's just an example) maybe that will help bring some clarity.
Being curious about why something is happening can sometimes be all that's needed to snap you into a better place. Ultimately I believe that the challenging experiences are often the most beneficial... but yeah, it sucks when you want that happy, euphoric feeling and it isn't there. Hopefully someone else will offer some thoughts. Safe travels!
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Skizor1337
Trip King
Registered: 06/19/12
Posts: 1,116
Loc: USA
Last seen: 1 day, 6 hours
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Re: Experienced User - Having trouble going into the void [Re: silosound]
#27324353 - 05/26/21 09:02 PM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
PsySounds said:
Aside from my original post, I pretty much gave all the advice I have. If you can frame your trips not as, "can't I just vibe for 4hrs and enjoy myself" but rather "what things am I uncovering and what does this mean" (or something, that's just an example) maybe that will help bring some clarity.
Being curious about why something is happening can sometimes be all that's needed to snap you into a better place. Ultimately I believe that the challenging experiences are often the most beneficial... but yeah, it sucks when you want that happy, euphoric feeling and it isn't there. Hopefully someone else will offer some thoughts. Safe travels!
Hey it's worth exploration. Thanks!
But yea just wanted to have a good time is never too much to ask lol.
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100% Professional Psychonaut
Trippin' Aint Easy
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PrimalSoup
hyperspatial illuminations
Registered: 11/17/09
Posts: 13,568
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 1 year, 7 months
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Re: Experienced User - Having trouble going into the void [Re: Skizor1337]
#27324379 - 05/26/21 09:28 PM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Skizor1337 said:
My main problem has honestly been being comfortable I don't understand why I can't just chill in my bed on a heavy dose and just lose myself. I used to all the time even before my past girlfriend. It was almost effortless honestly. I have tried changing things up slightly but I kinda just need a little help.
I already have a big feeling that once I move into a house this really wont be a problem I can almost guarantee that.
It just sounds like you haven't got enough space (mental and physical) to get properly started on the trip. With the COVID lockdown stuff having my SO working from home has had a similar kind of effect. They'd rather be at work and come home to me tripping than be there during it, and I'm sure it has to do with the weird shit that happens during the comeup and that by the time you're well into it things seem more normal to other people. At least that's my theory so far.
Not nearly as much tripping as usual has been going on this past year and a half or so. 
Yeah and I know that's not really helpful. 
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if you stand too close to the machine it'll start to eat youPrimal's simple tested teks and projects:  Wheat Prep 2.0 Acidic Tea Tek Potency Project!
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 redgreenvines
irregular verb
Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 38,169
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Re: Experienced User - Having trouble going into the void [Re: Skizor1337] 2
#27324672 - 05/27/21 06:01 AM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
But yea just wanted to have a good time is never too much to ask lol.
a) maybe it is the wrong question.
b) depends who you ask.
I think your space is fine. and yes real estate is insane and worsening, your space is almost ideal.
Nobody gets a guarantee in life, and there is no customer complaint department for tripping or anything more meaningful than a refrigerator - you are on your own, even in your mom's great but tiny basement, even if you were with a wonderful lover, you are still alone, and you are still without a warranty even if you do everything right.
In preparation for tripping get your health up to a good level, as the body is the thing that is going to take the mind on a trip, and it needs to be in reasonable condition.
so, since you can put the bed up, do some exercise, pushups, stretches, squats yoga etc. and get some basic health stuff into your normal routine - maybe you already have that.
If you are happy with that - no complaints, (no complaint department anyway,) make sure you have some snacks and drinks around (also for the body)
Then figure out what you are doing. I mean, why trip?
this is your life, not the Guinness book of records, or some leader board of tripping that you are participating in. It's about personal living and the mind itself.
What is it about tripping that you want or need a bit more of in your life - a life that is what you make of it, a life that has no warranty?
Dose for that.
Dose low if you are investigating things that are close to waking concerns, dose higher if you are penetrating the mind's secrets, aspects of spirituality, resolving symbolic meanings. If you dose high expect the body effects to be occasionally tremendous.
These psychedelic experiences can really be a good time but often do not feel like a good time.
Adding the right babysitting media (music/video/books) is kind of a distraction.
It's ok, and gives your mind a bit of a night out, with the kids sort of safely amused (you are your own kid).
so again, I think maybe a good time is not exactly what you are looking for.
I go for lighter doses, and if the nest has become too boring, dress up appropriate for weather, and go out, return to the nest to adjust one's levels and go out again if that is how it feels.
it's about exploring more than repeating what was done before, and it is about sustainability when it comes to your body and your apartment or real-estate in general.
be safe. find your way. keep on finding your way.
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 _  🧠_ 
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Skizor1337
Trip King
Registered: 06/19/12
Posts: 1,116
Loc: USA
Last seen: 1 day, 6 hours
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Re: Experienced User - Having trouble going into the void [Re: redgreenvines]
#27324830 - 05/27/21 07:47 AM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
redgreenvines said:
Quote:
But yea just wanted to have a good time is never too much to ask lol.
a) maybe it is the wrong question.
b) depends who you ask.
I think your space is fine. and yes real estate is insane and worsening, your space is almost ideal.
Nobody gets a guarantee in life, and there is no customer complaint department for tripping or anything more meaningful than a refrigerator - you are on your own, even in your mom's great but tiny basement, even if you were with a wonderful lover, you are still alone, and you are still without a warranty even if you do everything right.
In preparation for tripping get your health up to a good level, as the body is the thing that is going to take the mind on a trip, and it needs to be in reasonable condition.
so, since you can put the bed up, do some exercise, pushups, stretches, squats yoga etc. and get some basic health stuff into your normal routine - maybe you already have that.
If you are happy with that - no complaints, (no complaint department anyway,) make sure you have some snacks and drinks around (also for the body)
Then figure out what you are doing. I mean, why trip?
this is your life, not the Guinness book of records, or some leader board of tripping that you are participating in. It's about personal living and the mind itself.
What is it about tripping that you want or need a bit more of in your life - a life that is what you make of it, a life that has no warranty?
Dose for that.
Dose low if you are investigating things that are close to waking concerns, dose higher if you are penetrating the mind's secrets, aspects of spirituality, resolving symbolic meanings. If you dose high expect the body effects to be occasionally tremendous.
These psychedelic experiences can really be a good time but often do not feel like a good time.
Adding the right babysitting media (music/video/books) is kind of a distraction.
It's ok, and gives your mind a bit of a night out, with the kids sort of safely amused (you are your own kid).
so again, I think maybe a good time is not exactly what you are looking for.
I go for lighter doses, and if the nest has become too boring, dress up appropriate for weather, and go out, return to the nest to adjust one's levels and go out again if that is how it feels.
it's about exploring more than repeating what was done before, and it is about sustainability when it comes to your body and your apartment or real-estate in general.
be safe. find your way. keep on finding your way.
Thanks! I take physical fitness very seriously in my life I actually go to the gym 5 days a week and hit the weights pretty hard. Very happy with that
If I had to choose exactly what I want out of tripping for the current moment I would just say I truly want to be content from within. I do miss being able to meditate away into oblivion. Not even being able to feel your body and just be completely lost in your head but still on a fun colorful ride.
To be honest if I took any dose without music I would lose my mind. I have tried it a few times and after like 30-45 mins I had to put something on to compliment the vibe. Especially on 1/8th I need something that I can lose myself with.
It's crazy how different trips have been over the years - It's always something new and always changing but I suppose so are all of us. I won't give up but maybe I'll take a couple weeks off and see what I can do
I have a very deep connection with music (came from tripping) and when all else fails I seem to find my way during the experience with it.
It blows I don't have space - I wish I had a few rooms to walk into and out of. I always had some interesting realizations when changing rooms - Almost like a video game haha.
I appreciate the insight though. It's not something I can discuss with anyone that would understand in my life lol.
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100% Professional Psychonaut
Trippin' Aint Easy
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redgreenvines
irregular verb
Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 38,169
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Re: Experienced User - Having trouble going into the void [Re: Skizor1337]
#27324840 - 05/27/21 07:54 AM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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right,
ok,
well, in meditation, one aspect that can be explored is tranquility.
i.e., making the calm more calm.
slowly calming restlessness
beginning again when a distraction (which can be amazing) leads to restlessness or takes you to an area that is not tranquil.
following the breath and deepening the calm is always so near and available, yet we forget and get all tangled up.
and then begin again.
this is not just about psychedelics then.
--------------------
_ 🧠_
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Skizor1337
Trip King
Registered: 06/19/12
Posts: 1,116
Loc: USA
Last seen: 1 day, 6 hours
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Re: Experienced User - Having trouble going into the void [Re: redgreenvines]
#27324883 - 05/27/21 08:19 AM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
redgreenvines said:
right,
ok,
well, in meditation, one aspect that can be explored is tranquility.
i.e., making the calm more calm.
slowly calming restlessness
beginning again when a distraction (which can be amazing) leads to restlessness or takes you to an area that is not tranquil.
following the breath and deepening the calm is always so near and available, yet we forget and get all tangled up.
and then begin again.
this is not just about psychedelics then.
It's too early for me.... you got me a little lost my friend
--------------------
100% Professional Psychonaut
Trippin' Aint Easy
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PrimalSoup
hyperspatial illuminations
Registered: 11/17/09
Posts: 13,568
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 1 year, 7 months
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Re: Experienced User - Having trouble going into the void [Re: Skizor1337]
#27325343 - 05/27/21 02:56 PM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Skizor1337 said:
It blows I don't have space - I wish I had a few rooms to walk into and out of. I always had some interesting realizations when changing rooms - Almost like a video game haha..
Great point - moving around in space/surroundings while tripping just seems to open stuff up sometimes. 
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if you stand too close to the machine it'll start to eat youPrimal's simple tested teks and projects: Wheat Prep 2.0 Acidic Tea Tek Potency Project!
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LeafRaker
nomad
Registered: 11/28/11
Posts: 718
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Re: Experienced User - Having trouble going into the void [Re: PrimalSoup]
#27325438 - 05/27/21 04:00 PM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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Do you think you might just need a larger dose? I noticed you seemed to focus on 2.5-3.5g (cubes?), but for me I'd be stuck in an bad area between normality and the void. Perhaps your supply is weaker now than when you settled on those quantities?
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Knowledge is finite, ignorance is infinite.
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Sub-Easy
slowly dying since birth
Registered: 04/23/21
Posts: 1,371
Loc: USA NC
Last seen: 1 month, 22 days
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Re: Experienced User - Having trouble going into the void [Re: LeafRaker]
#27325859 - 05/27/21 09:00 PM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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I'd say borrow a guitar, just take the time to barley learn about the cords and for a short time while you are in a trip, strum a string slowly, maybe a cord or two, and don't worry about trying to make music, just feel the vibrations and focus on how each sound makes you feel.
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Just take um like you get um.
Those ephemeral spasms of infinity, in suspended animation, born across a boundless ether of existential misery aloft a revelry (of awe) for the abhorrently sublime.
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Skizor1337
Trip King
Registered: 06/19/12
Posts: 1,116
Loc: USA
Last seen: 1 day, 6 hours
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Re: Experienced User - Having trouble going into the void [Re: PrimalSoup]
#27330475 - 05/31/21 03:20 PM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
PrimalSoup said:
Quote:
Skizor1337 said:
It blows I don't have space - I wish I had a few rooms to walk into and out of. I always had some interesting realizations when changing rooms - Almost like a video game haha..
Great point - moving around in space/surroundings while tripping just seems to open stuff up sometimes.
Hell yea it does lol - Especially the "doorway effect" walking into a room and forgetting things which while tripping is sometimes the best thing that could ever happen lol
I used to love that before.
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4d6Mycology
Seeker
Registered: 06/04/21
Posts: 104
Last seen: 8 months, 17 days
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Re: Experienced User - Having trouble going into the void [Re: Skizor1337] 2
#27338519 - 06/07/21 06:36 AM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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I had the same experience not long ago and I was able to break out of that uncomfortable funk by tripping on an eighth and cleaning for 5 hours straight alone with music lol. It may not be for everyone, but it was truly wonderful. I felt like my heart and mind we're opening up to dump my accumulated fears and insecurities out, much like how my body was moving trash, cleaning with water, and organizing my dwelling. Outer order and inner order worked in sync, and through shame and pride, I came out shining on the other side, completely comfortable with who I am and what I have in life, inside and out. Not complacent or jaded, I realized that the mess will always come back, and that's ok. Push and pull, give and take, yesterday, tomorrow, and the present all coexisting in conscious fluidity and acceptance. All because I decided to clean. 
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redgreenvines
irregular verb
Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 38,169
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Re: Experienced User - Having trouble going into the void [Re: 4d6Mycology]
#27338693 - 06/07/21 09:58 AM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
4d6Mycology said:
I had the same experience not long ago and I was able to break out of that uncomfortable funk by tripping on an eighth and cleaning for 5 hours straight alone with music lol. It may not be for everyone, but it was truly wonderful. I felt like my heart and mind we're opening up to dump my accumulated fears and insecurities out, much like how my body was moving trash, cleaning with water, and organizing my dwelling. Outer order and inner order worked in sync, and through shame and pride, I came out shining on the other side, completely comfortable with who I am and what I have in life, inside and out. Not complacent or jaded, I realized that the mess will always come back, and that's ok. Push and pull, give and take, yesterday, tomorrow, and the present all coexisting in conscious fluidity and acceptance. All because I decided to clean.
beautiful
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_ 🧠_
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Skizor1337
Trip King
Registered: 06/19/12
Posts: 1,116
Loc: USA
Last seen: 1 day, 6 hours
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Re: Experienced User - Having trouble going into the void [Re: 4d6Mycology]
#27338704 - 06/07/21 10:08 AM (2 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
4d6Mycology said:
I had the same experience not long ago and I was able to break out of that uncomfortable funk by tripping on an eighth and cleaning for 5 hours straight alone with music lol. It may not be for everyone, but it was truly wonderful. I felt like my heart and mind we're opening up to dump my accumulated fears and insecurities out, much like how my body was moving trash, cleaning with water, and organizing my dwelling. Outer order and inner order worked in sync, and through shame and pride, I came out shining on the other side, completely comfortable with who I am and what I have in life, inside and out. Not complacent or jaded, I realized that the mess will always come back, and that's ok. Push and pull, give and take, yesterday, tomorrow, and the present all coexisting in conscious fluidity and acceptance. All because I decided to clean.
That's fuckin awesome lol - very interesting
--------------------
100% Professional Psychonaut
Trippin' Aint Easy
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