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InvisibleAshtray161
SettledNomad
Other


Registered: 03/21/21
Posts: 4,503
Loc: Rugby, England
Well That Was Embarrassing- Please Give Me A Read * 1
    #27289341 - 05/01/21 03:09 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Hello again, im back.

Im not really sure how to start this other than to say I am sorry about my behavior over the past few days. Im not sure if folks who have been interacting with me for a while now noticed that I was pretty normal at first and then slowly started acting more and more erratically. It started by me posting a LOT, then posting at like 4 and 5am, then getting in arguments with people and then that last 12 hours I just cracked. What you were watching was me going into a manic episode and then acute mania induced psychosis. Im really sorry you all had to deal with that, I do have schizoaffective disorder and had stopped taking my meds for a few months. Once I realized that I hadnt slept in 2 or 3 days (and I promise you I wasnt taking any stimulants what so ever other than caffeine) I checked myself in the ER and they got me stabilized over 24 hours and sent me on my way. (Theyre used to me by now.)

I promise I dont usually act like that, im a much more chill person when Im thinking straight. Im really fucking emotional and annoying when im manic. It usually lasts for about 2 weeks and even though I finally got some sleep and am thinking a bit more clearly im going to take another week or so off from here to be sure I dont make an ass of myself again. I still feel rather speedy so I might still be in the middle of the episode and I really want to try and rebuild my relationship with the community here. Im going to take the time to learn and research more so when I come back hopefully ill be a bit more knowledgeable as well.

Again I do apologize and I hope youll give me another chance.
I am asking that you consider and try to empathize with severe mental illness and try to understand that wasnt how I typically act and isnt representive of my true self. It really sucks to struggle with this disorder and its caused me to lose a lot of wonderful relationships in my life. I dont want this to me another one to add to the list.

Ill see yall in a week,

Ashtray.
I appreciate whoever finally cut me off there and banned me for 3 days, that was the right move.


--------------------
(You Know What Time It Is)
Major Issues in the Psychedelic Movement: https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/27677086:elmo:
"You never have to prove the fool a fool, just let them speak."
Please, be an adult. Get vaccinated. Dont use psychedelics as an excuse. Dont come at me with some hippy dippy nonsense, GO GET VACCINATED.
Be Gay, Do Crime 161 1312

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OfflineSold Out Online
Stranger Danger
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 09/05/20
Posts: 265
Last seen: 3 months, 20 days
Re: Well That Was Embarrassing- Please Give Me A Read [Re: Ashtray161]
    #27289373 - 05/01/21 03:34 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Hang in there bro.


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Threads that have been useful to me:
Clean Spawn checklist for new growers

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InvisibleGoatrider
Rhythm Guitarist
Male


Registered: 04/08/20
Posts: 4,801
Loc: Germany Flag
Trusted Cultivator
Re: Well That Was Embarrassing- Please Give Me A Read [Re: Sold Out Online]
    #27289405 - 05/01/21 04:02 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Sad to hear this.

But great move of yours, my respect.
Just keep on talking helps a lot mate.

Wish you the best, and don`t get into anger that easy again.
We`re here for shrooms :thumbup:


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OfflineVP123
Strange
Male


Registered: 06/27/19
Posts: 1,454
Loc: Midwest
Last seen: 11 hours, 56 minutes
Re: Well That Was Embarrassing- Please Give Me A Read [Re: Ashtray161]
    #27289412 - 05/01/21 04:08 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Glad you are doing better. You have self awareness and that is huge. Hang in there.

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InvisiblefahtsterM
Now With 33%More Faht
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Registered: 06/17/06
Posts: 9,717
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OG Cultivator
Re: Well That Was Embarrassing- Please Give Me A Read [Re: VP123] * 1
    #27289470 - 05/01/21 05:34 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Welcome back!  Glad you got the assistance ya needed.  Also glad my ban didn’t piss you off too much.. that kind of thing worries me, so thanks for saying that.  I know it’s easier said than done but try to take what ppl say here with a grain of salt and not take it too seriously.  I say that with experience.  There’s also an ignore function where you can ignore specific members and you can always go back and unignore them.. that way if someone is getting on your nerves, you can immediately ignore them and you won’t see their posts.  And keep in mind how fast things move here.. you can usually give arguments a 24hr rest and everyone will have moved on already lol. 

We’re not all level-headed, sober ppl either... no one will hold it against you for walking away from conflict.  You can also say your piece in a respectful way or simply ask if another persons post was meant to land the way it did.. most of the time, it’s just a misunderstanding as these are just words on a screen and it’s really easy to put your own emotion on others’ words that weren’t intended to be there... it also gives the person time to retract their statement if they’ve had a moment to think about it or hear how it affected you.. nawwahimsayim?

Anyway.. I’ll step down from the soapbox.  Again, welcome back!

Faht

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InvisibleAshtray161
SettledNomad
Other


Registered: 03/21/21
Posts: 4,503
Loc: Rugby, England
Re: Well That Was Embarrassing- Please Give Me A Read [Re: fahtster]
    #27289472 - 05/01/21 05:38 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

fahtster said:
Welcome back!  Glad you got the assistance ya needed.  Also glad my ban didn’t piss you off too much.. that kind of thing worries me, so thanks for saying that.  I know it’s easier said than done but try to take what ppl say here with a grain of salt and not take it too seriously.  I say that with experience.  There’s also an ignore function where you can ignore specific members and you can always go back and unignore them.. that way if someone is getting on your nerves, you can immediately ignore them and you won’t see their posts.  And keep in mind how fast things move here.. you can usually give arguments a 24hr rest and everyone will have moved on already lol. 

We’re not all level-headed, sober ppl either... no one will hold it against you for walking away from conflict.  You can also say your piece in a respectful way or simply ask if another persons post was meant to land the way it did.. most of the time, it’s just a misunderstanding as these are just words on a screen and it’s really easy to put your own emotion on others’ words that weren’t intended to be there... it also gives the person time to retract their statement if they’ve had a moment to think about it or hear how it affected you.. nawwahimsayim?

Anyway.. I’ll step down from the soapbox.  Again, welcome back!

Faht




Thats sincerely appreciated.

Also good news, I actually got 6 clean agar plates and did some transfers yesterday. When im for real back ill update yall on all the work ive been up to.


--------------------
(You Know What Time It Is)
Major Issues in the Psychedelic Movement: https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/27677086:elmo:
"You never have to prove the fool a fool, just let them speak."
Please, be an adult. Get vaccinated. Dont use psychedelics as an excuse. Dont come at me with some hippy dippy nonsense, GO GET VACCINATED.
Be Gay, Do Crime 161 1312

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InvisibleGoatrider
Rhythm Guitarist
Male


Registered: 04/08/20
Posts: 4,801
Loc: Germany Flag
Trusted Cultivator
Re: Well That Was Embarrassing- Please Give Me A Read [Re: Ashtray161]
    #27289473 - 05/01/21 05:39 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

:highfive:


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InvisibleAshtray161
SettledNomad
Other


Registered: 03/21/21
Posts: 4,503
Loc: Rugby, England
Re: Well That Was Embarrassing- Please Give Me A Read [Re: Goatrider]
    #27289619 - 05/01/21 08:41 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

They said learn agar, so this is what im doing this week lol:

I got a little more confident after some plates that werent covered in contams so ive gone crazy, put all my spore syringes on plates and some are already looking good. Dont mind the poor rapping job, im getting better and figuring out how to make it work. I have poor motor skills so its harder for me than it shld be:


--------------------
(You Know What Time It Is)
Major Issues in the Psychedelic Movement: https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/27677086:elmo:
"You never have to prove the fool a fool, just let them speak."
Please, be an adult. Get vaccinated. Dont use psychedelics as an excuse. Dont come at me with some hippy dippy nonsense, GO GET VACCINATED.
Be Gay, Do Crime 161 1312

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OfflineShakedown Street
Friend
Male

Registered: 09/05/20
Posts: 405
Loc: Well, well, well, you can neve...
Last seen: 19 minutes, 33 seconds
Re: Well That Was Embarrassing- Please Give Me A Read [Re: Goatrider]
    #27289624 - 05/01/21 08:45 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Welcome Back!
Hang in there bro.

No matter...you are a human being.... I hope you will learn.  I am a human too,
suffering from depression since 2007..  So it's not like I can cast aspersions on you.

May the Force be with you.

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InvisibleFeasoghorm

Registered: 10/24/18
Posts: 4,384
Re: Well That Was Embarrassing- Please Give Me A Read [Re: Goatrider]
    #27289661 - 05/01/21 09:32 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Oh snap! Crazy plates dude. Kinda dig 'em.

It happens. You reminded me when i was slipping a while back. Fucking pain in the ass taking meds. Jst a crazy vitamin concoction for me, but still a pain. Actually quite surprised i haven't been suspended yet for getting hairy.
I suspect a great deal of us have some shit. I knw i do.

We're your mush family, homie.

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InvisibleAtomsplit
 User Gallery


Registered: 01/16/21 Happy 4th Shroomiversary!
Posts: 1,547
Loc: SAB
Re: Well That Was Embarrassing- Please Give Me A Read [Re: Feasoghorm]
    #27289663 - 05/01/21 09:38 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

sweet! ms to agar! cant wait to see em grow out a bit! I knew you could get over the contamination issue you had. persistence and brainstorming!

:thumbup:


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.

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InvisibleAshtray161
SettledNomad
Other


Registered: 03/21/21
Posts: 4,503
Loc: Rugby, England
Re: Well That Was Embarrassing- Please Give Me A Read [Re: Atomsplit]
    #27289695 - 05/01/21 10:09 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

yall are fucking awesome. I wasnt expecting such a genuinely wholesome and warm welcome back after that and this whole experience shows me I have a lot to learn about how I interact w people. Thank you all for that.
I should remember im interacting with people who have had access to quality medicine youve put years of energy into. Those universe information downloads must of brought some knowledge with it haha.
I really appreciate it <3

Yea I did a bunch of spores to agar, also did my first ever transfer, did 2 clone plates, and tested out my LC and tried to put a spore print someone on discord sent me to plates too. I couldnt figure out how to get the spores off of the tin foil, they were so dried on there i didnt think i was getting any when i was scraping but I also kinda figured I must of gotten some when scraping w a scalpel so I just slid it across a plate (I didnt flame that one but I unwrapped it and put it on inside my SAB, i know thats risky but I wanted to try to not burn the print.) I didnt know if that worked thou so then I flamed the razor and after letting it cool a bit in the SAB just cut out a super small piece of the tinfoil w the print on it and put that in a plate too spore side down. Im sure itll contam but mayb i can catch some clean stuff to transfer. Im mostly just practicing and seeing how good my technique is right now anyway. I did 2 control plates, one that I just left open in my SAB for a while during and after I was working and another that I used to like cool my blade that I would just take the lid off for a sec,cool my blade and put the lid back never cooling it in the same spot twice. I wrapped em both and am just gonna see if something grows on em. We'll see!


--------------------
(You Know What Time It Is)
Major Issues in the Psychedelic Movement: https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/27677086:elmo:
"You never have to prove the fool a fool, just let them speak."
Please, be an adult. Get vaccinated. Dont use psychedelics as an excuse. Dont come at me with some hippy dippy nonsense, GO GET VACCINATED.
Be Gay, Do Crime 161 1312

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OfflineInthepit
Aum Mani Padme Hum
Male User Gallery

Registered: 08/20/19
Posts: 1,742
Loc: Puerto Rico
Last seen: 1 year, 1 day
Re: Well That Was Embarrassing- Please Give Me A Read [Re: Ashtray161]
    #27290158 - 05/02/21 09:08 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Way to go Ashtray! And welcome back. I always wonder when someone goes off like
a Roman Candle. Thanks for sharing and explaining.

So...how come the wrap on yer plates is yellow? What are you using?


--------------------
:sporedrop: GLOSSARY  :sporedrop: ACROMYMS!   :sporedrop: GETTING STARTED :sporedrop:

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OfflineSockadin
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Registered: 01/03/10
Posts: 7,266
Last seen: 1 month, 22 days
Trusted Cultivator
Re: Well That Was Embarrassing- Please Give Me A Read [Re: Inthepit]
    #27290184 - 05/02/21 09:36 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Welcome back. It is all love here. :mushroom2:

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InvisibleMycelium Juice
Here for the weed
 User Gallery


Registered: 10/31/20
Posts: 513
Loc: planet earth
Re: Well That Was Embarrassing- Please Give Me A Read [Re: Sockadin]
    #27290526 - 05/02/21 02:14 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

At the end of the day the humbleness, humility, strength, and self-awareness it takes to come back and even post this is proof that you're a good person Ashtray.
 
Good to see you again, and welcome back! :mushroom2:

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InvisibleAshtray161
SettledNomad
Other


Registered: 03/21/21
Posts: 4,503
Loc: Rugby, England
Re: Well That Was Embarrassing- Please Give Me A Read [Re: Inthepit]
    #27290537 - 05/02/21 02:26 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Inthepit said:
Way to go Ashtray! And welcome back. I always wonder when someone goes off like
a Roman Candle. Thanks for sharing and explaining.

So...how come the wrap on yer plates is yellow? What are you using?




I was using this tape (i cant remember what its called) that was actually linked on a thread on here, ill try and find it. I cant remember why exactly I thought itd be better than micropore tape but I think looking back it was being used for something else and I had read the thread wrong.
Now im using clearwrap


--------------------
(You Know What Time It Is)
Major Issues in the Psychedelic Movement: https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/27677086:elmo:
"You never have to prove the fool a fool, just let them speak."
Please, be an adult. Get vaccinated. Dont use psychedelics as an excuse. Dont come at me with some hippy dippy nonsense, GO GET VACCINATED.
Be Gay, Do Crime 161 1312

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InvisibleLenz
Misunderestimated
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 08/17/20
Posts: 692
Loc: Fungistan
Re: Well That Was Embarrassing- Please Give Me A Read [Re: Ashtray161]
    #27290602 - 05/02/21 03:15 PM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Good to see you again and glad you got some help :thumbup:

Best wishes with your future grows too and don't take everything people were saying to heart! It's just the internet at the end of the day but glad you were able to get some perspective too.


--------------------
:chems:

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OfflineDERRAYLD
Constructus
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Registered: 05/13/02
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Loc: South Africa
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Re: Well That Was Embarrassing- Please Give Me A Read [Re: Lenz]
    #27291339 - 05/03/21 01:51 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Welcome back

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OfflineInthepit
Aum Mani Padme Hum
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Registered: 08/20/19
Posts: 1,742
Loc: Puerto Rico
Last seen: 1 year, 1 day
Re: Well That Was Embarrassing- Please Give Me A Read [Re: Ashtray161]
    #27291385 - 05/03/21 03:37 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

Ya Cling Wrap, Parafilm, and that grafting tape D3 likes are the main choices here.

I used Cling Wrap for a year, then during one of the many Tape Debates, I got
caught up and got some Parafilm. I'd try grafting tape too, D3 says it's easier.

To be honest I just might love Parafilm because it seems soooo laboratory!
To me, a good scalpel, glass petris...just make the experience.
          :goodnews:


--------------------
:sporedrop: GLOSSARY  :sporedrop: ACROMYMS!   :sporedrop: GETTING STARTED :sporedrop:

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InvisiblemushboyMDiscord
modboy
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Registered: 04/24/05
Posts: 35,378
Loc: eating the cats
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Re: Well That Was Embarrassing- Please Give Me A Read [Re: Inthepit]
    #27291388 - 05/03/21 03:41 AM (3 years, 8 months ago)

:awesomenod:i agree

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