So I remember witnessing or actually performing two Miracles...(this Post is for those with free time who wanna read some stories to pass the time, but at the same time it's serious, there really are miracles! this Post could go to OTD or the Pub but I Seriously can confirm these stories. So I thought it's go where all my post go, S&M!)
In 2017 I was at the "Spice" Park of the City I was homeless in. Around Lunch time, I was on the gravel/paved part that led from the street to the tables and benches of the park. I'm pretty sure it was a roach of a Spice blunt that I smoked, but a small possibility it was from a dime bag, nah, almost 90% it was Roach's on the ground as usual. The high last only about 20 minutes with another 40 minute comedown, and the usual dullness/loss of memory for the rest of the day, or maybe no side effects at all depending on the type of "Spice". About the end of the 20 minutes peak and the beginning of the comedown, I was for some unmemorable reason thinking, jokingly, playing with the idea of tossing a stone. And in my empty hand, I held it in a fist, gently, I out of nowhere had a Stone in my hand as a I playfully tossed it, it was a small stone I can't 1000% for sure say it was whitish as I saw it, felt it, fly from my hand, I didn't toss it far, but could not find it after a quick and brief look for it among the other Stones. I Tried to rationalize what happened, I Than had a what I thought was an insight and that I duplicated a Magic trick I saw TV. But than knew I did no such thing, nor could I even remember ever truly/actually seeing such a trick on TV.
I Once had a Dream. Where it led from Manic-Self-Destructive-Debaucherous-Suicidal-Idiocy-Thoughts, that were very un-Christian, and has a story of it's own about the Dangers Bipolar Manic Disorders Medication, caused by Zyprexa/Lithium. I can Elaborate if you please, but pretty much it had a life changing Dream where I was in front of God (He looked kind of like Zues and my Dad and "Holy" put together.) I was automatically offering him an ash tray with dirty cigarette butts, his countenance of smile turned to disgust as he brushed the ash tray away and said to me "I Do Not Want You!" i than woke up and for some reason did not kill myself, maybe cause that's the reason he denied me, I was already on the path of Suicidal-Debaucherous path. Where I thought I could smoothly smoke cigs/ do small doses of heroin at first building it up to kill myself and start a hardcore band and scream my heart out and die wickedly/immoral and "express" myself, which the way I remember it was more Glorifying Failure and Killing yourself, but listen, it was mostly caused by a new Medication Prescribed by a Psychiatrist: Bipolar Medication, Zyprexa. I was awake for three days strait and not the least bit tired, very talkative and happy, and Impulsive as never before, but the strange thing was, I didn't even know I was Manic, I thought I was normal, yet I was wired. It was like, "Hey, I Great Idea! Let's snort a bunch of cocaine off a little persons ass and have sex with something that weighs over 400 pounds and doesn't share our DNA!",,, Thoughts that were not not normal and sounded like "A Must" and even felt capable of doing,,, OK, the sex with animals is an Exaggeration! , but ya know, someone else in my state of mind of that time, thy just might have that thought! LOL DIRTY!!
That Dream happened maybe 2011 or 2012, the connection to the Miracle that I Assure you happened took place about 2017. When I ended up on the streets in the fall of 2016, my attitude and morals has an automatic shift when I hit the streets, I didn't actually think I was doing wrong, but after that Dream and Quitting smoking ash tray butts and picking in the ash trays for years I Didn't and Recognized the digustingness of it. I used to do it because I was poor and couldn't afford Cigarette packs (the expenses of drugs and and what not over the years and the Ignorance of Freedom to do dirty things). I Convinced myself easily that now it's OK to smoke Left over ashtray butts or pick up butts from the streets as soon as I was homeless, I Ignorantly told myself now it's ok to do this but at the same time I knew it was wrong and dirty, I was seriously addicted to Tobacco, I Could picture a life without drugs (even though that's where me money was going), but not tobacco.
So there I was one day in 2017, nice weather in the morning by the creek in the city, all by myself, I had apparently collected a small handful of partials, somehow still attractive some stranger smokes and finished and tossed the butt on the ground only for me and others to pick up the remainder and glorify trash and smoke it even after other peoples (complete strangers) lips been on it. And I was holding them in my hand with some matches and found a bench to sit and smoke them. I was thinking "this is disgusting, why do I do what the dream said is wrong and still do it!". I said to myself I"ll smoke these later so I put them in my pocket, in a split second I said "nah, I'll smoke them now." reaching back into my pocket there was nothing! no where on the bench or ground where the butts or matches! it was clean area unlike Shit, Trash and Soda Cans-land Baltimore and I was sober BTW! lol, but the butts were gone, vanished into oblivion I guess, I Thanked God! this might sound like it was easily mistaken but if you where in my shoes and did the motion of "put cig butts in pocket/remove hand/Split-second-change mind to lets smoke!/to put hand back in pocket to find NOTHING!?" that's unusual and I'm sure you would Believe it too if you where me.
The many Miracles I don't remember happened when I was high on Spice in 2016-2017. Basically, I was in a safe environment where I was aloud to Meditate with my eyes closed sitting still or read a book all day in a room when cool people, I Would talk and socialize with others comfortably, I Think that was what helped to keep me sane and normal as-could-be, and healthy and Kind-loving. Through out those years I remember telling myself "Don't Isolate! Keep Socializing, For Sanity Sake!", I Didn't wanna go totally insane doing Spice and Drop off the planet! even though I was Suicidally-depressed I owe to the Love and Kindness of others, they might call me a dork behind my back and find way's to still my Spice, but I know they truly have love in the heart for others and beside the awkward and uncomfortable admission that they wanna remember me and were glad to meet me, someday they'll laugh and regret excluding me at the least, maybe I Deserved it! lol .
But like I said I Could Meditate in doors, fairly quietly, and just sit with my eyes closed, interesting, that's also what I like to do on Spice! sit with my eye's closed, I certainly was not meditating. But I've had ton's of Spiritual and Religious experiences on Spice and DXM, but the one time I'm particularly referring to is a real sketchy memory, I Smoked the Spice out doors than made my way to a comfortable chair, closed my eyes And I remembered at least five pretty cool miracles, They all happened in my life in recent times, some seemed to have to do with dreams coming true, but I knew I wouldn't be able to remember these memories or thoughts as soon as I sober upped, so for 20 minutes I tried to remember them, but all I could remember how important they were, staring at the stairs. Seeing the highest step symbolizing that these memories are important! but shit out of luck couldn't remember what they were! but I'm sure these Miracles I witnessed but don't remember, surely happened!
Spice has giving more Spiritual Experiences than any other Drug except maybe DXM. but I don't do it anymore, one of the few drugs that actually became a problem and "Had to quit!" kind of situation, it came very close to killing me!
-------------------- "He who finds peace and joy And radiance within himself That man becomes one with God And vanishes into God's bliss." -Bhagavad Gita, 5.24 One 21 - Building Better Bombs One 21 - Pacified One 21 - Two Sides Is Fine "Respectability is a cloak for the hypocrite" - Jiddu Krishnamurti
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