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OfflineEnjoywho
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My "Rules" for dating after 30
    #27221284 - 02/23/21 01:22 AM (3 days, 12 hours ago)

I have a few of my own list of things that can be negotiable to a point but now at 30 it's time to sit down and think about this realistically.

Kids: They'd have to be the greatest person I've eve met for me to consider. Absolutely can not be fixed. If I'm going to raise another dudes responsibility I'm going to want 1 or 2 that are blood related to me. I'm sorry but that's the truth. Even then it's a hard pass and if I'm being honest with myself I'm guessing at this point I'm settling. The thing that worries me the most about this and I see it all the time on reddit is after all these years these kids become like your blood kids. Then the relationship falls apart and you have absolutely no rights. I've lost dogs and cats to exes that broke my heart but damn. Plus dealing with baby daddy drama. Like nothing worse then having your girlfriends time taken up by some loser that she has to waste 10 hours to get the loser to spend 1 hour with the thing. Like Jesus dude you are a loser. Like straight up definition your picture there lol.

Goals: They don't have to be huge. (This was written to a girl that i've been getting close with but she lives in my old hometown of Anchorage Alaska and I live in WAshington) I found your stokedness about becoming a team lead at your work or whatever to be something that was almost infectious. It's not the craziest thing in the world but it was attractive. It showed that you had drive to be more then you already are. We can't all be at the very top that's just not how a society works. You want to improve, grow and learn, which is all we can do in life. I'm proud and happy for you and absolutely you go girl haha move up and show your worth. Now that I have hit 30 looking good is obviously a plus but nothing looks sexier on a woman then a career and a drive to keep learning. Now that is sexy af.

The ability to argue but to also see others points of views and compomise: 50%+ of all marriages end in divorce. I believe the reason for this is the fact that people watch too many damn movies. WE see them go off happilty ever after but what happens half way down the road when the tire goes flat? Money is the largest contributor toward divorce. Are you someone that nickels and dimes everything? I did X amount of chores today so you need to do Y . I paid X now you pay Y . Etc. Relationships are a partnership. Where money is very important to both of our success but the moment you start keeping a tally you might as well start drawing up divorce papers and sorting your beanie babies.

I can be incredibly stubborn. I have dated other girls that were just as stubborn. I always gave first. I know that I'm stubborn as all hell and will miss oppurtunities and basically lose out on life because of my stubborness in the past. It's a negative trait that I realize needs work. Which has all about what my journey since turning 30 has been. Writing a lot. Recognizing my negative parts, but more importantly figuring out the WHY? Why would I rather wallow here in pity then go out with my friends over something so petty there is no that I can come out of this with any sort of dignity. Why?

I've ended many relationships on the complete inability to compromise or see a point of view other then their on. They are right and that's that. Like I could agree and make my life easier, but I was raised in a shitty household. I was FUCKING RAISED IN CHAOS. If you want a fight/argument I can challenge the devil himself and hold my own. I can even teach you a thing or 2 about winning arguments against women if you're interested. A majority of the time there is no logic behind their argument. So don't have any logic either. It's hard when your a logical person. They say something like "you totally looked at jessicas ass i saw you.", "oh ya I saw you eyeing those breadsticks over on the other table. What were our breadsticks not good enough?!?!"

If there answer is wait what? Good job. You just beat a woman at there own game.

Money is such an obviously shitty neccessary evil of life that it tears apart relationships like nothing else. I see so many posts especially on reddit but I see it all the time in real life. Some dead beat guy in his 20-30's living off some sexy ass woman with a good career. Makes no effort to clean up while she's at work. Maybe make her a nice meal. Try and get a job to contribute. It is one of the most baffling things that I've ever witnessed. They're usually pretty mediocre dudes too. Smoke alot of pot. Spend the rest of there times playing video games. They aren't reading books. They aren't learning a new skill, and I will bet you my entire life fortune that that girl is not even close to satisfied in bed. Why is a complete and utter mystery,

My ex was like that. Smoked dabs all day and played video games 12+ hours a day. I had to one day be like can you take the fucking headset off or have one ear on or something because I try and say something to you but you can't hear me. Take the fucking thing off who cares about your other stoner loser gamer friends. Seriously. You'd see a couple get on for an hour maybe 2. Then be like alright Ima go spend some time with my lover. Not her. It got to the point where I felt so fucking neglected I honestly just didn't know what to do. So I put up with it for fuck knows how long. Another year? She did take the head set off and made small improvements but the catalyst was she refused to be an adult and wake up for work. When I got up for work in the morning she wouldn't even hear me I was like a ghost.

Wasn't until I kissed her bye that she even woke up and noticed I was gone. I had to pry her out of bed every day. Like I remember my mom prying me out of bed as a kid. You're going to be late AGAIN. Finally got her ass fired. Then the pandemic happened so she started making more doing even less. I was gone within a month of that. I hope you find your pot smoking video game playing counter part and you guys can waste your lives together. I don't want any part of it.

So No children!!

I look at money this way. It's a tool to get objects/ services. Nothing else. There are reasonable fights to have about money. Like my ex buying a 1500$ iphone with her tax return when we didn't even have a car. I don't even know how many reasons for why we broke up I put in this thread but they keep piling up. Like how irresponsible can you be? It's a stupid ass phone lol. That she dropped constantly. Man was she bad with money. I've been a heroin addict and I could manage better money then her lol. Full blown heroin addict I have my own apartment and a car. She buys a 1500$ phone. Truly just insane.

Tieing into this one I'm always picking up around the house. Tidying up. Just trying to make things easy on my partner. I'm single at the moment now but there is nothing worse then having a partner that is sitting in the same damn place you saw her when you went off to work and nothing is done. So I do that too. We had 2 cats. 5 pounds of shit in the box. She was the one that wanted the damn things. It was definitely a leading cause of why we broke up. I'm not nickel and diming or keepin a tally. It wasn't even neccesary your straight up just not doing anything but the bare minimum. That breeds resentment fast. Even just a man I had a really bad day at work today and i'm sorry I just couldn't today would be fine. Totally understandable we all have those moments. I'm personally against the whole sharing finances things even as a married couple, but still it's not like I'd need an explanation. " Hey babe I need some money" "Ya alright I might have some cash in the wallet and if not just take the debit card."

That is what I am here for to lift you up when you are down and vice versa. The whole can become greater then the sum of it's parts.

Trust: Probably the largest to me. I believe the things that come out of people's mouths. Until proven otherwise. I will never go through your stuff. The moment I have that feeling like we talked about (we both mentioned that the moment we had a feeling that something was up we checked there phones and boom 100% complete validation) Trust is the hardest to ever get back. So much wasted time after trust is broken. I've been sucked into believing that people change when it comes to trust. Depends on how much time you want to waste and how much of a sucker you are. I don't lock my phone no need to. I'd be offended if you did go through it in a way that basically said I don't trust you. Like alright go for it I have nothing to hide. You're making an ass out of yourself though.

I will believe anything that you say. Girls night out? Sure have fun. Meeting up with an old guy friend over a coffee to catch up. Cool i'll see you later. You are not my property you are a person with your own thoughts and feelings. Friends and a life. Codependency is a crutch, and jealousy is a disgusting trait.

The signs of abuse are isolation, constant needing to know where you are and why, and control. First they will have you leave your friend groups and family. Then they will control you when you have nowhere to run or go to.

As long as you are honest with me I will believe everything that you say. Which is me taking a huge risk that has back fired, but you know what? What else is there? Going through your phone? Wondering where you are? That isn't a relationship that's a toxic mess, and something that will escalate from verbal, to physical, to maybe even dead and decaying in a barrel. This girl I was talking to in Alaska said that her ex had a way to watch her phone and see exactly where she was at all times and shit. I was like and that seemed ok to you? Like what? I'd go to the courthouse and you can take that crazy 100 yards away from me thank you very much.

This is just a small list of things i've come up with over the years and relationships that I've had. My rules if you can even call being a decent human being rules are not hard to follow. I will also not hesitate to leave someone that breaks my trust. Been there, nothing but more lies and wasted time will do but waste even more of our damn time.

People don't change. They change for short periods of time until they can get away with restarting the cycle. As they say especially with domestic abuse which I grew up with as a kid it's a cycle. Calm, tensions building, incident, reconciliation. It's burned into my fucking brain from watching my mom with her face so smashed to shit she had to call out from work for weeks. There is nothing worse then seeing a pretty girl my age in the cycle of fucking abuse. From what? Some fucking loser that if you kicked him out would be back at his moms house because he doesn't own anything? Why are you wasting your time with these losers? It boggles my mind man.

(These last 2 paragraphs were too her. Not sure if they have any value to the rest of the post but i'll just leave 'em)

Unfortunately I don't get the chance to try and see if life would be interesting to share So all I can do is pass on knowledge that may help you some day. I'm happy your dating and I wish I would have met you 8 years ago when I was home. We both could have probably skipped a lot of heart ache, but know knows. I'm not perfect. I wasted a while becoming an aloholic and a drug addict. That's not important though. Only just steps along the way.

I'm still not sure what you meant by don't read too much into it. I honestly can't help too as that's just who I am, but don't worry one bit. You were honest with me from the beginning and that's all I ever asked. anything else is my own fault. In a decade if your still dating losers I should have my house by then you can come here. Not saying together or whatever but until you get on your feet. You'd be surprised what leaving everything you know can do for yourself.

I could say that the very unorthodox calling of me after the location mix up I possibly shouldn't have answered, but that wouldn't be true. It was like being in high school again. Talking on the phone for hours at a time because you don't have a car or your not old enough to have your own autonomy.

I'm happy for the conversations, we have far more then I would have ever guessed in common. It's not often someone can keep me entertained for hours on end. Every time I send a text to just say Hi you always call me like immediately. I guess those times are over. Now that I just got a text back saying your on a date.

Just makes you wonder what if? This isn't the first time this has happaned to me either. IT seems it's the majority of time. Something makes it impossible. If we kept talking like we were for the next couple months I would seriously consider going back home. To Alaska. Success or fail isn't the point. The point is to live and try. All though I would do everything in my power to get her down here instead. Where you can drive 2 hours and be somewhere awesome.

I'm honestly incredibly glad I started writing again. I spelled my feelings out here... As stupid as they are that doesn't mean that it couldn't have seriously fucked up my vibe as I have been in a really good point in my life. SNapping necks, cashing checkcs. Living life and loving it.

TLDR: The first half are my rules for dating now that i've turned 30, second half is kind of a letter written to a girl i've been talking too. I've written this a few time over multiple websites. The unfortunate reality of the internet is probably nobody will read it. I'd like opinions but also unnecessary.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: My "Rules" for dating after 30 [Re: Enjoywho]
    #27221290 - 02/23/21 01:30 AM (3 days, 12 hours ago)

Oh ya and pro tip. All those really cute girls that you like that won't give you the time of day. Move 3000 miles away. Can't even tell you how many I talked to later on and they were acting like they were so hot for me you could feel the moistness of they're pussy in the air.

Like ok then? You never once made an effort to talk to me. I tried to talk to you a few times and you sort of blew me off. I dunno if your just straight joking, or maybe the 2 kids from 2 baby daddies because your dipshit ass never learned to use birth control is just making you dumb. What is the point of telling me this.

You remember how I used to have acne on my chin, that was from all that oily ass pussy juice. Sorry to say but you missed out. I bet those bro rich kid popular kids gave yall the o'll 2 pump chump and convinced you that's how sex is supposed to be. :rofl:

One of my greatest hopes in life is that someone somewhere finally gave you an orgasm so you might've loosened up a bit and maybe even gotten a little cool. :lol:

Ya I remember you I would've liked to take you out but if you forgot you were kind of a cunt. So your loss really. Later Skeez.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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Invisiblesplit_by_nine
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Registered: 07/12/18
Posts: 4,534
Loc: great basin
Re: My "Rules" for dating after 30 [Re: Enjoywho] * 6
    #27221292 - 02/23/21 01:35 AM (3 days, 12 hours ago)

:lolwut:


--------------------
by demons..be driven..beckon the call


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: My "Rules" for dating after 30 [Re: split_by_nine]
    #27221297 - 02/23/21 01:40 AM (3 days, 12 hours ago)

Quote:

split_by_nine said:
:lolwut:




I guess that applies to the whole things.

Just some recent things going on. My attempt at keeping them together and especially to not get to attached to someone 3000 miles away.

I'm guessing you didn't read it though. It's been a while since I've been on this site and reading nor comprehension is not this sites strong suit. Anything over 2 sentences you might as well ask them to build the pyramids.

All though I have been here a long time. So there are some people here that I've known a long time. This is an update into myself, and my journey and personal journey after 30. So It's more for those people unlike someone like you that cannot read.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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Invisiblesplit_by_nine
DCLXVI

Registered: 07/12/18
Posts: 4,534
Loc: great basin
Re: My "Rules" for dating after 30 [Re: Enjoywho] * 3
    #27221310 - 02/23/21 01:47 AM (3 days, 12 hours ago)

Quote:

Enjoywho said:

Just some recent things going on. My attempt at keeping them together and especially to not get to attached to someone 3000 miles away.




not worth it. get warmed up with someone closer

Quote:


I'm guessing you didn't read it though. It's been a while since I've been on this site and reading nor comprehension is not this sites strong suit.




:crankey:

Quote:

Anything over 2 sentences you might as well ask them to build the pyramids.




:kingcrankey:

Quote:



All though I have been here a long time. So there are some people here that I've known a long time. This is an update into myself, and my journey and personal journey after 30. So It's more for those people unlike someone like you that cannot read.




:lolwut:


--------------------
by demons..be driven..beckon the call


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InvisibleJokeshopbeardM
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Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 24,292
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Re: My "Rules" for dating after 30 [Re: Enjoywho] * 2
    #27221430 - 02/23/21 03:52 AM (3 days, 10 hours ago)

Quote:

Enjoywho said:
I can even teach you a thing or 2 about winning arguments against women if you're interested.



I'm interested.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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InvisiblePurple sunset
I'm a teapot


Registered: 02/14/21
Posts: 136
Re: My "Rules" for dating after 30 [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #27221446 - 02/23/21 04:12 AM (3 days, 9 hours ago)

Thank you for the advice
Good luck <333

Love everybody and everything
Just living life for myself now mostly
In a healthy way

Still, will always treat everyone really well
With nothing but respect for everyone
Wish everyone the best

It's not mutual the other way


--------------------


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: My "Rules" for dating after 30 [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #27221449 - 02/23/21 04:19 AM (3 days, 9 hours ago)

Quote:

Jokeshopbeard said:
Quote:

Enjoywho said:
I can even teach you a thing or 2 about winning arguments against women if you're interested.



I'm interested.





Women don't argue with logic. "god damnit honey why are you always leaving the toilet seat up" "You know jesus rises from the dead every easter to feast on the flesh of the living"

As long as you can get them to say "Wait, What the fuck?"

"fuck I know right isn't that insane."

If you try and beat her with "facts" and "logic" you will fucking lose every time. Just out crazy them. Works for me. You aren't even worth talking to right now. Secretly inside ( Thank god you either because nothing you say makes any fucking sense and has no logic to it."


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: My "Rules" for dating after 30 [Re: Purple sunset]
    #27221451 - 02/23/21 04:21 AM (3 days, 9 hours ago)

Quote:

Purple sunset said:
Thank you for the advice
Good luck <333

Love everybody and everything
Just living life for myself now mostly
In a healthy way

Still, will always treat everyone really well
With nothing but respect for everyone
Wish everyone the best

It's not mutual the other way




I'm glad i spent time preparing myself emotionally and stuff. She went out on a date tonight I suppose and I haven't heard from her much. All though I did find some poetry that she wrote. Definitely hoping to hear from her tomorrow as I asked her if she's a poet/writer? That piques my interest even harder I'd love to do some collab work if so.

It's sad but the logistics just are what they are. I did joke around saying so when's my date huh? If we keep  getting to know each other and becoming friends you'll definitely have to come down for a week or something this summer. Alaska's great and all and it's my home but I love being able to just drive 2 hours in any direction and be in another state.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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InvisibleJokeshopbeardM
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 24,292
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Re: My "Rules" for dating after 30 [Re: Enjoywho] * 1
    #27221466 - 02/23/21 04:56 AM (3 days, 9 hours ago)

Quote:

Enjoywho said:
Women don't argue with logic.



That's because women, for the most part, run on emotion.

One must understand this to work well with them.

I think it important to always remember that 'all men are stupid, and all women are crazy'.

It really is as simple as that.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: My "Rules" for dating after 30 [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #27221513 - 02/23/21 06:19 AM (3 days, 7 hours ago)

Quote:

Jokeshopbeard said:
Quote:

Enjoywho said:
Women don't argue with logic.



That's because women, for the most part, run on emotion.

One must understand this to work well with them.

I think it important to always remember that 'all men are stupid, and all women are crazy'.

It really is as simple as that.




True True. The worst is when they pull that shit out of the bag like 3 years later. Then get mad that you don't remember. Like what in the hell are you smoking ho?

Actually my #1 way of winning an argument is just straight up walking away. Which PISSES THEM THE FUCK OFF, but honestly I don't care it's a lot better then us continuing to argue and maybe saying some mean shit that we can't take back. Let's just take a break for a while I'll be back in half an hour or whatever and we can talk then.

I can tell when it's starting to get into the were about to try and hurt eachothers feelings for no reason but just to do so. Which is never a good idea.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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Offlinemorrowasted
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Re: My "Rules" for dating after 30 [Re: Enjoywho] * 4
    #27221663 - 02/23/21 08:37 AM (3 days, 5 hours ago)

This one gets my vote for cringiest thread of 2021 thus far

There is one rule for attracting high quality women: dont try to. Focus on developing yourself- your self discipline, your skillsets, your resources, your physique, your social awareness. When you focus on and succeed at developing these attributes, you will find yourself in a position where single and searching women will, shall we say, make themselves very available for you to become interested them. Compete for your attention, even.



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Re: My "Rules" for dating after 30 [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #27221686 - 02/23/21 08:48 AM (3 days, 5 hours ago)

Quote:

Jokeshopbeard said:
Quote:

Enjoywho said:
I can even teach you a thing or 2 about winning arguments against women if you're interested.



I'm interested.




:raisemyglass:


--------------------
A Dorito is pizza, change my mind.

Bank and Union with The Shroomery at the Zuul on The internet - now with %'s and things

I’m sorry it had to be me.


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Re: My "Rules" for dating after 30 [Re: morrowasted] * 1
    #27221689 - 02/23/21 08:49 AM (3 days, 5 hours ago)

Quote:

morrowasted said:
This one gets my vote for cringiest thread of 2021 thus far

There is one rule for attracting high quality women: dont try to. Focus on developing yourself- your self discipline, your skillsets, your resources, your physique, your social awareness. When you focus on and succeed at developing these attributes, you will find yourself in a position where single and searching women will, shall we say, make themselves very available for you to become interested them. Compete for your attention, even.






I just drove race cars and continued being an abomination. It worked out, just don't ask my wife.


--------------------
A Dorito is pizza, change my mind.

Bank and Union with The Shroomery at the Zuul on The internet - now with %'s and things

I’m sorry it had to be me.


Edited by christopera (02/23/21 08:51 AM)


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OnlineDouble
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Re: My "Rules" for dating after 30 [Re: Enjoywho]
    #27221691 - 02/23/21 08:51 AM (3 days, 5 hours ago)

if she doesnt smoke cigarettes and has a job..




thats it


--------------------
:mushroom2:


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Re: My "Rules" for dating after 30 [Re: Double]
    #27221695 - 02/23/21 08:52 AM (3 days, 5 hours ago)

What is she smokes cigarettes as a part of her job? Deal breaker?


--------------------
A Dorito is pizza, change my mind.

Bank and Union with The Shroomery at the Zuul on The internet - now with %'s and things

I’m sorry it had to be me.


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Re: My "Rules" for dating after 30 [Re: christopera]
    #27221697 - 02/23/21 08:54 AM (3 days, 5 hours ago)

haha depends on how much her job pays :wink:


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OnlineDouble
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Re: My "Rules" for dating after 30 [Re: christopera]
    #27221704 - 02/23/21 09:01 AM (3 days, 5 hours ago)

Quote:

christopera said:
What is she smokes cigarettes as a part of her job? Deal breaker?



naw honestly my "rule" or deal break when dating someone is that she has a good heart and doesnt put people down, that kinda stuff ya know

LOYALTY over everything, i cannot withstand a cheater or someone who flirts with other men in front of me, if youre gonna cheat - do it behind my back, dont embarrass me publicly


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Onlinechristopera
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Re: My "Rules" for dating after 30 [Re: Double]
    #27221723 - 02/23/21 09:14 AM (3 days, 4 hours ago)

You check her blood pressure and cholesterol levels on the first date?


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Re: My "Rules" for dating after 30 [Re: christopera]
    #27221730 - 02/23/21 09:22 AM (3 days, 4 hours ago)

well as forementioned, i mess with chubby/fat girls for hook ups only, but when it comes to something more serious, ive never dated an overweight person, since im not overweight myself


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