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Barnaby
Interesting lifetime
Registered: 12/13/17
Posts: 9,187
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Re: Is amusing when one goes on a bender and fucks up a relationship. [Re: Barnaby]
#27221595 - 02/23/21 05:34 AM (3 years, 1 month ago) |
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I like my drugs, period. If I had a kid from my own dick I would change. Before all the judgements come rolling in.
More into the spirit vine, peyote, mushrooms, lsd, and so on. Done with the hard stuff. The powders and the smoking not ciggies. God my nose is almost eaten up from the inside out from the chems.
If they really did authentic anti-drug commercials. If I did a marketing campaign and I despised them in College, truth. Not fake scare mongering bullshit, but truth.
And I could go so much more in how the system is set up up and when one is in it hard to get out of it just tired of it. End Prison for profits and probation for profit and so on and so forth. Is inane what they do. Piss in a cup for 20 dollars! Hey that is great! At least I am out of a small cell box and thank you so much for taking money and letting me do so!
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anatomality
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Re: Is amusing when one goes on a bender and fucks up a relationship. [Re: Barnaby] 1
#27221597 - 02/23/21 05:37 AM (3 years, 1 month ago) |
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Man, take a breath and stop fucking your shit up? It's not amusing, and you're lying to yourself about how you feel.
Just my opinion, all the best.
-------------------- “The strength of a person's spirit would then be measured by how much 'truth' he could tolerate, or more precisely, to what extent he needs to have it diluted, disguised, sweetened, muted, falsified.”
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Ima Trooper
Chilldog Extraordinaire
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Re: Is amusing when one goes on a bender and fucks up a relationship. [Re: Barnaby] 1
#27225436 - 02/25/21 07:33 AM (3 years, 1 month ago) |
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Life is never so bad that it can't get worse. Keep drinking, keep that pride up, and keep being too angry at the situation to get help, and it will get worse. And worse. And fucking worse.
No one ever listens though, so go ahead and keep doing whatever
-------------------- "Its moving of its own accord...and I like that in a shirt!" - Me, tripping. deCypher said: Schizophrenia beats dining alone, you know.
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stzacrack
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Re: Is amusing when one goes on a bender and fucks up a relationship. [Re: Ima Trooper]
#27225449 - 02/25/21 07:38 AM (3 years, 1 month ago) |
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Yea I'm currently homeless living with two dysfunctional junkys who have no teeth constantly fight lost their kids etc..not judging
Of course I fucked up and sniffed like 9 bags of dope the past 10 days and I'm now back again for the fourth time since october with minor withdrawals
Get money today from plowing last week and i know they're going to want to go to newark and make me buy heroin for them for letting me stay
Fuck me i am so tired of this shit
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Ima Trooper
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Re: Is amusing when one goes on a bender and fucks up a relationship. [Re: stzacrack]
#27227435 - 02/26/21 11:53 AM (3 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
stzacrack said: Yea I'm currently homeless living with two dysfunctional junkys who have no teeth constantly fight lost their kids etc..not judging
Of course I fucked up and sniffed like 9 bags of dope the past 10 days and I'm now back again for the fourth time since october with minor withdrawals
Get money today from plowing last week and i know they're going to want to go to newark and make me buy heroin for them for letting me stay
Fuck me i am so tired of this shit
If you get them dope, are you likely to abstain? It sounds like you are struggling, that's hard.
-------------------- "Its moving of its own accord...and I like that in a shirt!" - Me, tripping. deCypher said: Schizophrenia beats dining alone, you know.
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anatomality
Nothern Counterpart
Registered: 05/31/20
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Re: Is amusing when one goes on a bender and fucks up a relationship. [Re: stzacrack] 1
#27227926 - 02/26/21 04:37 PM (3 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
stzacrack said: Yea I'm currently homeless living with two dysfunctional junkys who have no teeth constantly fight lost their kids etc..not judging
Of course I fucked up and sniffed like 9 bags of dope the past 10 days and I'm now back again for the fourth time since october with minor withdrawals
Get money today from plowing last week and i know they're going to want to go to newark and make me buy heroin for them for letting me stay
Fuck me i am so tired of this shit
Can you use the money to change the living situation instead? I'm really sorry about all that man, sounds like you're having a bad time.
-------------------- “The strength of a person's spirit would then be measured by how much 'truth' he could tolerate, or more precisely, to what extent he needs to have it diluted, disguised, sweetened, muted, falsified.”
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stzacrack
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Re: Is amusing when one goes on a bender and fucks up a relationship. [Re: anatomality] 1
#27228771 - 02/27/21 07:45 AM (3 years, 1 month ago) |
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I haven't been able to abstain, I'm trying to find a way to my dude in paterson to pick up a suboxone and some xanax so I don't go into a homeless shelter dope sick I'm not trying to go to a program and have that held against me being able to see my child (even tho I cant see her right now cause I'm homeless)
I've only been using for a week but that's enough to make me want a suboxone to make that first week easier
Edited by stzacrack (02/27/21 07:47 AM)
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anatomality
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Re: Is amusing when one goes on a bender and fucks up a relationship. [Re: stzacrack]
#27229054 - 02/27/21 11:11 AM (3 years, 30 days ago) |
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You got this man, sounds like you have a plan! Move towards what you want.
-------------------- “The strength of a person's spirit would then be measured by how much 'truth' he could tolerate, or more precisely, to what extent he needs to have it diluted, disguised, sweetened, muted, falsified.”
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stzacrack
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Re: Is amusing when one goes on a bender and fucks up a relationship. [Re: anatomality]
#27229259 - 02/27/21 01:52 PM (3 years, 30 days ago) |
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Quote:
anatomality said: You got this man, sounds like you have a plan! Move towards what you want.
Just got 3 subs and 7 xanax bars to get clean over the next week so I'm waiting for my train back to dover from paterson with something to ease the pain and in about ten days I'll be able to get back to doin tree work get my car on the road and hopefully dig myself outta this hole
Glad this dope shit is over before it got lutta hand
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Barnaby
Interesting lifetime
Registered: 12/13/17
Posts: 9,187
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Re: Is amusing when one goes on a bender and fucks up a relationship. [Re: Ima Trooper]
#27229499 - 02/27/21 04:56 PM (3 years, 30 days ago) |
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That I will. 1,400 coming my way in Mid-March is best educated guess. SAY NO TO HEROIN! Not my bender choice. Pills and beer as always. Women don't like that. Blah.
Spent two days on my couch just watching like one night, 8 hours of this show in a row and just recovering. Have learned it usually takes two days, but am responsible to an extent.
Bills paid and already paid rent for March and internet service. Me and my couch. Not like I want to hump it. But am OK walking 45 blocks to get my meds, which I quite enjoy by the way, and restocking on food. Was getting down to the dregs of my fridge and storage. When one just mixes really weird combo's because the market is so fucking far away. I walked in snow and blistering wind chill. But once experiences Chicago in one's life, not so bad and is a good mind frame to take IMO.
Fully stocked. And starting another want. Not doing shit until Winter is over. Fuck women. Not in a rush. Feel like I should add a song but don't want to think about women.
There are way to many songs about men and women and "love". I love being warm, feeding my fish, my 4k t.v., my laptop, my clothing and fashion, and quality food and beer and pills. Oh I forgot. Concerts are coming back in Spring. Not going to be hurting. But shit. Pushing it and two days of recovery where every hour seems like forever, it sucks. But is worth the 2 week benders to me. Body has to recover at times.
Women can fuck off until the end of Winter. Not mean hearted, just, no one I really want to be with at this time and that is fine. One doesn't always have to be with somebody.
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Ima Trooper
Chilldog Extraordinaire
Registered: 02/21/08
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Re: Is amusing when one goes on a bender and fucks up a relationship. [Re: Barnaby]
#27230361 - 02/28/21 09:55 AM (3 years, 29 days ago) |
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Quote:
Barnaby said: That I will. 1,400 coming my way in Mid-March is best educated guess. SAY NO TO HEROIN! Not my bender choice. Pills and beer as always. Women don't like that. Blah.
Spent two days on my couch just watching like one night, 8 hours of this show in a row and just recovering. Have learned it usually takes two days, but am responsible to an extent.
Bills paid and already paid rent for March and internet service. Me and my couch. Not like I want to hump it. But am OK walking 45 blocks to get my meds, which I quite enjoy by the way, and restocking on food. Was getting down to the dregs of my fridge and storage. When one just mixes really weird combo's because the market is so fucking far away. I walked in snow and blistering wind chill. But once experiences Chicago in one's life, not so bad and is a good mind frame to take IMO.
Fully stocked. And starting another want. Not doing shit until Winter is over. Fuck women. Not in a rush. Feel like I should add a song but don't want to think about women.
There are way to many songs about men and women and "love". I love being warm, feeding my fish, my 4k t.v., my laptop, my clothing and fashion, and quality food and beer and pills. Oh I forgot. Concerts are coming back in Spring. Not going to be hurting. But shit. Pushing it and two days of recovery where every hour seems like forever, it sucks. But is worth the 2 week benders to me. Body has to recover at times.
Women can fuck off until the end of Winter. Not mean hearted, just, no one I really want to be with at this time and that is fine. One doesn't always have to be with somebody.
Sounds like you've made your decision. I wish you well but suspect you will not be content with your life.
-------------------- "Its moving of its own accord...and I like that in a shirt!" - Me, tripping. deCypher said: Schizophrenia beats dining alone, you know.
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Barnaby
Interesting lifetime
Registered: 12/13/17
Posts: 9,187
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Re: Is amusing when one goes on a bender and fucks up a relationship. [Re: Ima Trooper]
#27234388 - 03/02/21 09:48 PM (3 years, 27 days ago) |
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Life goes on.
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Barnaby
Interesting lifetime
Registered: 12/13/17
Posts: 9,187
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Re: Is amusing when one goes on a bender and fucks up a relationship. [Re: Ima Trooper]
#27234390 - 03/02/21 09:49 PM (3 years, 27 days ago) |
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Life goes on. Can really apply that to any life experience. On with it.
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Barnaby
Interesting lifetime
Registered: 12/13/17
Posts: 9,187
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Re: Is amusing when one goes on a bender and fucks up a relationship. [Re: Barnaby]
#27234480 - 03/02/21 11:40 PM (3 years, 27 days ago) |
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So how can you keep on smiling, when they know that you keep on smiling, justify your name. Lol. She asked at that time if I would just go one day without getting fucked up. Nope. Then when she was with this horrible and ugly dumb man, the kind of woman that has to be with one always, I am ok sitting in a chair and pondering my existence, on substances, but saw it didn't matter.
Such a peace to one when one is at peace with ones self. Woke up before she did and just watching the horses our of my window from the bed from the neighbors field. I felt great. She woke up and asked what I was looking at and I told her. She was used to people which I suppose is a thing looking at people sleep but why, is dull to me.
She wanted to get back together when I stopped the drinking and drugging for a bit and danced when, strangely enough, she was there and she knew and I knew, what a shit man she was with. But got pissed when I didn't ask her out or for a phone number. That was strange with the guy she was with at the time right by her.
Women. I am attracted to them but I can see through the games they play so easily. But arrogance is a downfall. I just felt free is all I can say. Like how this song puts it.
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