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InvisibleBarnaby
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Is amusing when one goes on a bender and fucks up a relationship.
    #27207983 - 02/15/21 08:13 PM (2 months, 4 days ago)

Then one wakes up in the morning.  And clarity seeps in and it was, shit, I fucked that up.  And one can just sense this relationship is done.  I can see so many different ways to go about it but, no, like tree branches, yes I use a lot of psychedelics, that their is not outcome where she would be interested again.

Fuck it.  Have to take a loss.  Stupid game to play women against each other.  Ego.  And shit, that feeling sucked.  Who wants me more in the dating world and not talking about sex.  Just, I got jealous and, I don't need just you. 

Though no one compares to you.  God that was immature and stupid.  Life goes on.  But shit that hurt for awhile.  On many different levels.  On with life.  Spirit Vine.  I could see every probable outcome, and none.  So on with life, starting to sense that more in life.  Just from learning to tap into the grid.  What a visual. 

Saw lines.  Seriously like a electronic grid that connects one to everything and everyone.  And then every probable outcome and when it is removed which is the worst, but with her, I fucked that up.  On with it.


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Offlinestzacrack
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Registered: 05/07/05
Posts: 3,117
Last seen: 23 days, 9 hours
Re: Is amusing when one goes on a bender and fucks up a relationship. [Re: Barnaby]
    #27209098 - 02/16/21 11:48 AM (2 months, 3 days ago)

Yea man when I was a kid I'd wake up in soaking wet beds next to chicks wondering if I was the one who pissed the bed (I did):dawerp:

Getting older it turned into waking up after eating 15-120 mg of xanax wondering what happened

What can you do you live you learn
:shrug:


--------------------
You tryna' find a misses
I'm tryna' find them riches
So I started pimpin'
learnt how to monetize my bitches


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InvisibleBarnaby
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Re: Is amusing when one goes on a bender and fucks up a relationship. [Re: stzacrack]
    #27209314 - 02/16/21 02:21 PM (2 months, 3 days ago)

So you have it all figured out?  Not pissing on a bed but pissing on one?


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Offlinestzacrack
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Re: Is amusing when one goes on a bender and fucks up a relationship. [Re: Barnaby]
    #27209527 - 02/16/21 04:16 PM (2 months, 3 days ago)

Dont have much figured out at all

I love xanax and alcohol


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InvisibleBarnaby
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Re: Is amusing when one goes on a bender and fucks up a relationship. [Re: stzacrack]
    #27209682 - 02/16/21 05:52 PM (2 months, 3 days ago)

Yeah, is a wonderful thing.

But things are on the upswing.  Found someone else.  WILL HE EVER FIND LOVE THAT LASTS?  It is a nice possible rebound.  Still.  Had a friend that wanted to be with me then when I didn't want to became my brothers girlfriend.

That was weird.  Then I decided to stay with them, non-sexually but she offered pot to me and we smoked it together when he was at work and she wanted to fuck me and wasn't having any part of it.

Strange how many woman want to have sex with identical twin brothers.  Took me awhile to realize that.  Then he fucked my girlfriend though he said he never would and we don't talk to each other anymore.

So goeth life.  It is strange the different levels of emotion pain one feels from the first one that one falls in love with and the breakup and then it gets complicated.  Fuck it.  Just really I am OK with one soon, hopefully and if not one has to be OK with oneself or a relationship and partner will never work, but will never trust him again.  BLAH!


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Offlinestzacrack
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Re: Is amusing when one goes on a bender and fucks up a relationship. [Re: Barnaby]
    #27209705 - 02/16/21 06:03 PM (2 months, 3 days ago)

Damn dude you cant ditch your identical twin dawg

Women are whores what ya gonna do you know

And yea I'm not looking for a partner right now either, too focused on my kid and being off opiates so I can get my shit in order

Wouldnt mind some pussy to mess around with tho at the moment, been flooded with all the mental and physical shit that opiates suppressed for last ten years


--------------------
You tryna' find a misses
I'm tryna' find them riches
So I started pimpin'
learnt how to monetize my bitches


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InvisibleBarnaby
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Re: Is amusing when one goes on a bender and fucks up a relationship. [Re: stzacrack]
    #27209732 - 02/16/21 06:15 PM (2 months, 3 days ago)

There is one I am interested in but my twin won't know about it.  And not rushing in to fuck her.  Though in time.  Still, my family dynamics are messed up in LDSville.  Utah, having traveled to almost every state is really fucked up, seriously.  You don't realize the control parents have over their kids in Utah.  She buys him anything, I don't give into it.

But yeah, if I had a kid and kicking a heroin addiction.  Would change a lot in life.  But I would like to be with one woman and have one kid, with her, and not raise other man's kids, and there are so many out there that want you to, I am good with life.


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Offlinestzacrack
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Re: Is amusing when one goes on a bender and fucks up a relationship. [Re: Barnaby]
    #27209762 - 02/16/21 06:36 PM (2 months, 3 days ago)

Yea, I was with mine for 12 years, saved her from prostitution and heroin addiction and drug court in florida, flew her home to NJ had a kid, then she left for the black dude at her job

Now they live off welfare in a shithole town had a baby during quarantine...

Love my daughter but man I wont make the mistake of being serious with a woman ever again

I kicked subutex that I was on for 5 years, 8 years of heroin before that, shit isn't easy but once the withdrawal is over after a week it's easy if you keep occupied


--------------------
You tryna' find a misses
I'm tryna' find them riches
So I started pimpin'
learnt how to monetize my bitches


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InvisibleBarnaby
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Re: Is amusing when one goes on a bender and fucks up a relationship. [Re: stzacrack]
    #27210222 - 02/17/21 12:35 AM (2 months, 3 days ago)

Fuck it.  Life goes on.  An ex is living with two black guys in Cali.  But throw kids into it, thank God I am not going through that.

I just never liked drugs that I felt like I had to have, even cigs.  I just don't like the feeling of addiction and I have felt it.

New woman that is intrigued by me.  So strange the dynamics of women.  Their vibes.  The pain fades from one and then another comes along so unexpected and it, wow, I could really go for her. 

Life is interesting, what can I say?  Still on the fence with ever having a kid but I think I will have one.  Just a friend and child support and if I fuck it up hearing his stories I wither away from it.  Just glad I never got a disease.

So future is bright, lol.


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InvisibleBarnaby
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Re: Is amusing when one goes on a bender and fucks up a relationship. [Re: Barnaby]
    #27212550 - 02/18/21 09:39 AM (2 months, 1 day ago)

A woman from Italy contacted me.  Bored and doing the online dating thing.  So I started researching Italy, she is attractive but not verified and even then who knows?

Found this amusing.  Not that there is much to brag about in America with shitty housing and am fortunate with mine.  But those in the drug culture have always been in one or visited one in one's lifetime for the most part.

Hope it works out with Ukrainian.  Really like her.  But is iffy and am open to Italy. Despite the U.S. saying it will most likely be Fall for the new normal to end to a degree.

My brother met a Russian in Thailand over a year ago and they are still trying to get married but because of Covid and the red tape of the U.S. and Russia, who the fuck knows?  Find it amusing.



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InvisibleBarnaby
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Re: Is amusing when one goes on a bender and fucks up a relationship. [Re: Barnaby]
    #27214036 - 02/19/21 03:40 AM (2 months, 23 hours ago)

Their is hope!  When one sleeps around a lot, I hate that term, and reaches a point where one just stands out so much above anyone else.  Monogamy.  Would lower my self to such depths to do so.

Life is strange.  When one just wants to be with one one and not many.  Lol.  Love this Ween song, is ancient.  One their was one, lol.  One and only one.  Lyrics.  God, am laying in my bed at 1 a.m. and OK.  A future and a kid with her. 

Have taken so many esoteric substances.  She is doing this on purpose so I don't go with someone else.  May sound arrogant but I get it.  God/life, saw the grid.  Why you don't need to take it all the time.  It teaches and time is an illusion.

I have suffered in jail for psychedelics. And probation and the whole money and control system.  Made me laugh one person who said that I learned more in one day then 4 years of College.  Universe, University but they corrupted it like most things in life.

God I hope this works out with her.  Still, if not, one has to let it go.  Not like their is a shortage but some just really resonate and click with one. And that would be enough.

Great song.  WOMAN AND MAN!  Yeah, like it or not we all have our heritage.



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InvisibleBarnaby
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Re: Is amusing when one goes on a bender and fucks up a relationship. [Re: Barnaby]
    #27214058 - 02/19/21 04:06 AM (2 months, 23 hours ago)

Also how long does one take before telling a woman you are dating you take illegal esoteric substances. 

When the smartphone rings, not a chance in hell I am picking that call up.  Then they think you are hiding something, which I am, but not cheating which is what they expect.

God, women are like dogs and that extra sensory sense of smell but they always know when you are hiding something from them within.  They just do, I can't explain it.  Have a message now but just beer and k-pins.  So I will respond via text.  No way talking.

God women are interesting.  Sex is great but when you get to a monogamy, whole different thing.  The control, which is amusing.  I will never cheat.  If I commit I commit but they always have that bit of doubt.  And once you commit you are expected to share EVERYTHING about you day to day life.  Still worth it.

Just trying to get use to life is good vibe.  Accepting it without the endless negativity.  Time to respond.


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InvisibleCitizen X
Call me Pepper,,
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Re: Is amusing when one goes on a bender and fucks up a relationship. [Re: Barnaby]
    #27214065 - 02/19/21 04:15 AM (2 months, 23 hours ago)

Yeah I can relate to this thread. I lost my first wife to an all night bender. It started out innocent enough but when I didn’t come home and stayed with an old girlfriend that was all it took. She was cool but that was just too much for her.

Hang in there Barnaby. You can make it through. If you need someone to vent to pm me anytime.

Sorry man


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InvisibleBarnaby
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Re: Is amusing when one goes on a bender and fucks up a relationship. [Re: Citizen X]
    #27214072 - 02/19/21 04:33 AM (2 months, 22 hours ago)

"when I didn’t come home and stayed with an old girlfriend that was all it took."

Well, that is reasonable.  Mine was more, just don't drink or smoke pot even for one day if you really love me basically.  I chose the drugs and alcohol and still do till this day.:shrug:  But I know now will have to cut back.  Not up to a friend that was sneaking it in the bathroom after he got married. 

But no, I hate it when women know you are into them and just love the feeling of a man being into them, that sounds sexual but meaning to monogamy.  God they test you. 

So yeah, will play her game, kind of get it.  Is amazing how women talk to their friends then when they are around you and your friends, female and male, they take a whole different approach in the interaction. 

Fuck it, life is good and have no complaints.  It is OK to be happy even during I guess another year of Covid with new more different and even more deadly strains! That no one can do anything about!

Thought I had herpes once and went to a doctor.  God what a relief that was that I didn't.  Never have used a condom but bought some and masterbated to see how it would feel.  It sucked.  So hoping for this one woman which may be a fools hope but I don't sense that it will be.  Will see.


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InvisibleCitizen X
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Re: Is amusing when one goes on a bender and fucks up a relationship. [Re: Barnaby]
    #27215771 - 02/19/21 11:57 PM (2 months, 3 hours ago)

Yeah controlling woman are a huge turn off. Who even cares about smoking pot anymore? But relationships are give and take and none are perfect so it comes down to what are you willing to deal with.

Dude make a Tinder profile and chronicle it.


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InvisibleBarnaby
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Re: Is amusing when one goes on a bender and fucks up a relationship. [Re: Citizen X] * 1
    #27216656 - 02/20/21 02:32 PM (1 month, 30 days ago)

The card at the top of the staff represents the ultimate outcome should you continue on this course. Child of Painting: Riding the wave of prosperity. A time to show your hand and reveal your innate powers. Enjoying a position of material advantage. Putting forth charisma. Hedonistic enjoyment. Drug experimentation. Surfing the Internet. Total absorption in your activities. Trusting your body and instincts. Open to new experiences. In the creative process: Now is a time to experiment with processes and materials, taking great pleasure in what you learn and create.


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InvisibleBarnaby
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Re: Is amusing when one goes on a bender and fucks up a relationship. [Re: Barnaby]
    #27217420 - 02/20/21 10:44 PM (1 month, 30 days ago)

Hedonistic enjoyment.  I don't think that is a good thing to look forward to.  It is entering year two of Covid.  No, if she chooses me i will go all in.


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InvisibleBarnaby
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Re: Is amusing when one goes on a bender and fucks up a relationship. [Re: Barnaby]
    #27217423 - 02/20/21 10:46 PM (1 month, 30 days ago)

But already know the outcome, thank you spirit vine.  She is set on another and won't interfere.  So on with life.  Last thing I need is is drama in life.  Time for a beer run.  It sucks when one is watching t.v. and wakes up past 12 a.m.

I am not going to be my late dad and marry and have sex with someone way younger than me.  On a houseboat where fucking was going on with numerous people and just trying to find the exit to the boat. 

And walked in through it to my dad fucking his 20 year old younger wife.  Some things can't be wiped from one's mind. 





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InvisibleBarnaby
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Re: Is amusing when one goes on a bender and fucks up a relationship. [Re: Barnaby]
    #27218512 - 02/21/21 03:45 PM (1 month, 29 days ago)

Yeah still going at it.  Messed up another one.  Never write to a woman, GREAT TITS!  Even if it so.  God I need some Airplane and the jello scene.  Youtube banned the original but this makes me laugh as well.  God, P.C.






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InvisibleBarnaby
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Re: Is amusing when one goes on a bender and fucks up a relationship. [Re: Barnaby]
    #27221589 - 02/23/21 07:29 AM (1 month, 27 days ago)

Still working on doing so.  What can I say?  How much does one want this wonderful enjoyment compared to a constant nagger, nagger, nagger?  A friend that hides his beer in the bathroom and then chugs it. 

No, no fucking way.  Love me for who I am!  What woman actually does?  Even tried a month and half without drugs and alcohol which really sucked by the way and still got shit for every little thing. 

Am OK not being in a relationship for awhile and no sex can change my mind.  Thank God I didn't have a kid with her.  Or them.  Judge away, we all make our choices in life.  Still haven't used a condom in life and if you have a judgement about that, fuck off.

Child support.  Friend took a waiter job and biked a really long way to go to work on the weekends when the buses and that schedule didn't work. So he could actually make rent while paying it while she was doing meth, I don't lie.  And she had custody of the kid.. I don't want that.  On with life and yes I will fuck, be responsible and have one kid with her, but it has to be the right woman. 

Ugghhh.  Just needed to vent for a bit.  And those that want you raise other mans kids.  No, no chance in fucking hell I will take on that responsibility.  This woman is driving me crazy.


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