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Lynnch
Strangerer



Registered: 04/29/09
Posts: 7,876
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Re: Should I stay in contact or remove myself from her life? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#27139823 - 01/10/21 01:14 PM (3 years, 1 month ago) |
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Ah yea, the after-breakup self-improvement.. I need to get a new ex quick just to get back in that mode 
I have to admit, I selfishly hope you stay in touch with her. The wild saga of the drug commune sounds like a story with too much drama to ignore.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Should I stay in contact or remove myself from her life? *DELETED* [Re: Lynnch] 1
#27139876 - 01/10/21 01:40 PM (3 years, 1 month ago) |
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Post deleted by Anonymous
Reason for deletion: As per previous reason? *shrug*
Edited by Anonymous (01/10/21 03:46 PM)
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The OCB
Stranger

Registered: 10/14/20
Posts: 86
Last seen: 2 years, 7 months
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Re: Should I stay in contact or remove myself from her life? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#27139944 - 01/10/21 02:29 PM (3 years, 1 month ago) |
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There is my guy. Total honesty lol. As if women have ever been 100% honest with us.
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Nonagon Infinity
Mycologist



Registered: 06/02/20
Posts: 756
Loc: Polygondwanaland
Last seen: 3 years, 11 days
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Re: Should I stay in contact or remove myself from her life? [Re: The OCB]
#27141114 - 01/11/21 12:47 AM (3 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
The OCB said: There is my guy. Total honesty lol. As if women have ever been 100% honest with us.
Cringe.
-------------------- Nonagon Infinity Opens the Door
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The OCB
Stranger

Registered: 10/14/20
Posts: 86
Last seen: 2 years, 7 months
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Re: Should I stay in contact or remove myself from her life? [Re: Nonagon Infinity]
#27150684 - 01/15/21 10:51 PM (3 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Nonagon Infinity said:
Quote:
The OCB said: There is my guy. Total honesty lol. As if women have ever been 100% honest with us.
Cringe.
Thanks!
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drinkkykeon
Stranger

Registered: 10/11/19
Posts: 113
Last seen: 3 days, 18 hours
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Re: Should I stay in contact or remove myself from her life? [Re: The OCB]
#27150709 - 01/15/21 11:16 PM (3 years, 1 month ago) |
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Life is too short for shitty relationships. If she isn't fighting to make a life with you don't fight for her. Separate your desires from what you know is best for you. The most important thing is to not look back with regret, grow and move on and the wisdom will seep in slowly.
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theRealrollforever
I DID-DENT



Registered: 08/31/13
Posts: 12,842
Loc: Bada-Bing!
Last seen: 17 hours, 28 minutes
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Re: Should I stay in contact or remove myself from her life? [Re: drinkkykeon]
#27150882 - 01/16/21 03:49 AM (3 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
drinkkykeon said: Life is too short for shitty relationships. If she isn't fighting to make a life with you don't fight for her. Separate your desires from what you know is best for you. The most important thing is to not look back with regret, grow and move on and the wisdom will seep in slowly.
There it is
--------------------
sunshine said: The order has to be secret and no one is sure.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Should I stay in contact or remove myself from her life? *DELETED* [Re: theRealrollforever]
#27150961 - 01/16/21 06:25 AM (3 years, 1 month ago) |
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Post deleted by Anonymous
Reason for deletion: As per previous reason? *shrug*
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Lynnch
Strangerer



Registered: 04/29/09
Posts: 7,876
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Re: Should I stay in contact or remove myself from her life? [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#27151581 - 01/16/21 02:12 PM (3 years, 30 days ago) |
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Cut n Run is the go-to advice for any situation.. and it is often the best option... But, just for some counterpoint, that mentality can lead (at least for me it did) to -at the first sign of trouble in a relationship- to say fuck it, i'm done. Without even trying to work things out... Something to think about.
OP, sounds like this girl is one you'll be comparing all others to... be careful with that.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Should I stay in contact or remove myself from her life? *DELETED* [Re: Lynnch]
#27151689 - 01/16/21 03:25 PM (3 years, 30 days ago) |
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Post deleted by Anonymous
Reason for deletion: As per previous reason? *shrug*
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theRealrollforever
I DID-DENT



Registered: 08/31/13
Posts: 12,842
Loc: Bada-Bing!
Last seen: 17 hours, 28 minutes
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Re: Should I stay in contact or remove myself from her life? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#27151711 - 01/16/21 03:46 PM (3 years, 30 days ago) |
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Ignore her till February. Not totally but minimal contact; just enough to allow you to organize a real life meeting. If she bails do not expend any more mental energy on her . If she doesn't; Fuck her brains out when you see her. Remain detached. She is a game player no matter how much she doesn't want to be, that's pretty obvious. That's my best advice for "hooking her"
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sunshine said: The order has to be secret and no one is sure.
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theRealrollforever
I DID-DENT



Registered: 08/31/13
Posts: 12,842
Loc: Bada-Bing!
Last seen: 17 hours, 28 minutes
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Re: Should I stay in contact or remove myself from her life? [Re: theRealrollforever]
#27151716 - 01/16/21 03:48 PM (3 years, 30 days ago) |
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When I say remain detached I mean play it cool and don't reach out first, short responses, make her MAKE the plans WITH you. The most I would do is drop a hint that you aren't busy when you do want to see her. If she doesn't flat out commit to a meeting time and date, seek other females. She will come runnin. She has no direction, and will be jealous if you find someone (that she thinks) is better/more attractive/ wtv. She's been tryna make you jealous man, do it to her. Only reason she is copacetic right now is cuz she's jealous of your tripping weekend / friendship with other female:
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sunshine said: The order has to be secret and no one is sure.
Edited by theRealrollforever (01/16/21 03:49 PM)
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Nonagon Infinity
Mycologist



Registered: 06/02/20
Posts: 756
Loc: Polygondwanaland
Last seen: 3 years, 11 days
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Re: Should I stay in contact or remove myself from her life? [Re: Lynnch]
#27152619 - 01/17/21 02:48 AM (3 years, 30 days ago) |
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Quote:
Lynnch said: OP, sounds like this girl is one you'll be comparing all others to... be careful with that.
There was one point in my life earlier on where this exact piece of advice woke me the fuck up and sent me on a healthier course in life.
-------------------- Nonagon Infinity Opens the Door
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Should I stay in contact or remove myself from her life? *DELETED* [Re: Nonagon Infinity]
#27157332 - 01/19/21 11:55 AM (3 years, 27 days ago) |
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Post deleted by Anonymous
Reason for deletion: As per previous reason? *shrug*
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Jim Nemo



Registered: 07/11/13
Posts: 78
Loc: Europe
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Re: Should I stay in contact or remove myself from her life? [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#27157523 - 01/19/21 01:38 PM (3 years, 27 days ago) |
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Reading this thread made me feel very uncomfortable, because it reminds me in different ways on one of my past relationships.
There is no need to discuss the unimportant details of when should you write or how should you behave on phone, etc.
It's pretty simple: She's got you and she's not going to let go. You have to move on or that limbo will continue, no doubt about that. The trouble she caused will puke all over a relationship you might have together. It's a lost cause, even if she "changes".
You can feel blessed if you get out of that unharmed. Behaviour like hers can scar for life.
I feel with you, send you my best wishes and hope you'll stay strong.
Keep telling us what's going on and how it feels, if it helps you.
-------------------- When the acid trip is over, you gotta come back to mother blues...
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Should I stay in contact or remove myself from her life? *DELETED* [Re: Jim Nemo]
#27157724 - 01/19/21 03:44 PM (3 years, 27 days ago) |
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Post deleted by Anonymous
Reason for deletion: As per previous reason? *shrug*
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Nonagon Infinity
Mycologist



Registered: 06/02/20
Posts: 756
Loc: Polygondwanaland
Last seen: 3 years, 11 days
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Re: Should I stay in contact or remove myself from her life? [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#27158492 - 01/19/21 10:52 PM (3 years, 27 days ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #1 said: I guess a question is, given her actions and behaviour - why would she want such attachment to me?
Who knows? My guess is that she's motivated by power and control. Just from reading this thread, it sounds like this is the kind of person who likes to keep the upper hand in the dynamics of your relationship. If you're the one reaching out to her, she's the one calling the shots, and she probably likes it that way.
Personally, I don't like to think of relationships in terms of power and control, but a lot of people look at the world through that lens, unfortunately.
Ultimately, for your purposes, it doesn't really matter why she's holding on. The question for you is: how is this affecting your life, and what are you going to do about it? I think you're making a healthy choice by improving yourself (through meditation, etc.) and by just keeping contact with her to a minimum. If this person is meant to be in your life, it will work itself out.
Be like water and flow with the river
-------------------- Nonagon Infinity Opens the Door
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Should I stay in contact or remove myself from her life? *DELETED* [Re: Nonagon Infinity]
#27158699 - 01/20/21 02:57 AM (3 years, 27 days ago) |
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Post deleted by Anonymous
Reason for deletion: As per previous reason? *shrug*
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Nonagon Infinity
Mycologist



Registered: 06/02/20
Posts: 756
Loc: Polygondwanaland
Last seen: 3 years, 11 days
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Re: Should I stay in contact or remove myself from her life? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#27159432 - 01/20/21 12:09 PM (3 years, 26 days ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #1 said: I guess I thought I could fix all this ahah. Red flags everywhere!
Nah, it's just not your responsibility, man. She's obviously got a lot of personal growth to deal with, and she can really only do that on her own terms. The fact that you're reflecting on this with such honesty and humility shows that you're not just one of those submissive guys she uses.
Now, for the hard part: don't reach out to her hahaha
-------------------- Nonagon Infinity Opens the Door
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The OCB
Stranger

Registered: 10/14/20
Posts: 86
Last seen: 2 years, 7 months
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Re: Should I stay in contact or remove myself from her life? [Re: Nonagon Infinity]
#27160485 - 01/20/21 10:45 PM (3 years, 26 days ago) |
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You're still asking why when you should be moving on. I really do hope you find that happiness you talked about earlier. Game sucks, but it is indeed real and does not stop. Anyone that tells you different is literally gaming you!
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