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Invisiblevampirism
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The "Self" and moods
    #2712787 - 05/21/04 09:58 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

I've noticed that whenever I feel depressed and rock-bottomish, I feel most like... myself

What is my self then ? How do I usually feel? Usually I feel a variety of emotions and am being woven through twists of fate and just every day occurances.. But for some reason, when I feel very depressed ( which seems as if it follows a cycle ), those things are ignored. I feel nothing - but yet I still feel. This is Me

But I LOVE that feeling -- do I like being depressed? Sometimes I really think so.

The Alice in Chains song, Am I inside, is probably getting at the same thing: Black is All I feel -- So this is how it feels to be free

Is there something wrong with this? Should depression be cured and motivation secured? I do some very interesting things when depressed, but at the time it feels like I'm hollow and worthless and dead.. and yet..


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InvisibleJohn
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Re: The "Self" and moods [Re: vampirism]
    #2714285 - 05/22/04 11:40 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

heh, i like being depressed too, not all the time so much that i cannot function in day to day life but i think a good night of depression is good for ya :smile:

DSM-IV-TR (diagonistic and stastical manual of mental disorders) defines a mood disorder as a serious, persistent disturbance in a persons emotions that cause psychological discomfort, impairs the ability to function, or both.

Also 'normal' peoples mood fluciate due to on-going events in life, when things are going well, we are happy and optimistic, when things take a negative turn our mood can sour: we feel miserable and pessimistic. either way the intensity and duration of our moods are usually in porportion to the events going on in our lives. that's completly normal.

in mood disorders, however, emotions violate the criteria of normal moods, in quality, intensity, and duration. a persons emotional state dosn't seem to reflect what's going on in there life. a person may feel pervasive sadness despite the best of circumstances. Or a person may be extremly energetic and overconfident with no apparent justification. these mood changes persist much longer than the normal flucations in moods that we all experience.

these are just basic views in psychology, you make the call if you feel you have a problem or need to cure the depression. basically i would say so long as it's not interfearing with everyday life and you're not sucidal, have signs of memory imparement, low self-esteem (REALLY low, most people have" low" self-esteem), general loss of mental or physical energy, appetite and sex drive diminished,  and abnormal sleep patterns, then you're probably more 'normal' than you think

sorry, just going through all this stuff in class and it was fresh on the mind. :stoned:


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Invisiblevampirism
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Re: The "Self" and moods [Re: John]
    #2714436 - 05/22/04 12:40 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Hmmmmmmm

memory imparement? Well let me put it like this, it interferes with every day life when it occurs, but allows me to try other things.. Suicidal.. not quite, although I will get ..controlled.. urges to lunge out of a 4th floor window.. There are days when I have absolutely no appetite or sex drive, my sleep schedule is really fucked up as well..

As for memory imparement, it usually feels like i have no memory. I'll go somewhere to do something, and completely forget what it was i was doing..

Hrtmmm

If the mood thing causes this, I don't know ..
At these times, i also feel as if I am nothing but an animated corpse.. I look at others, and I see the same.. sort of freaks me out. Their faces don't show emotion - someone smiles, but i only see how their muscles make the smile and know deep inside that they are smiling for a purpose.. Is this in any way related to self esteem?


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InvisibleJohn
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Re: The "Self" and moods [Re: vampirism]
    #2715813 - 05/22/04 09:15 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

for self-esteem think about this stuff-
yourself
the world around you
and the future

(think about them before scrolling down)

















okay now were they all negative thoughts?
if so you probably have self-esteem issues.

if so you can take a head on approach and try to boost it by interacting
more with people that imtimidate you normally, work out, stuff like that.

you fit the critera for major depressive disorder but the fact that
you said sometimes discredits it. generally you'd have to suffer
those symptoms at least 2 weeks for that diagonosis, as in 2
weeks of constant depression, blowing off responsibilities such
as work/school and not attending activities you normally would enjoy
(movies, partys, friends/girlfriends house ect.) to be alone and loath.
and reoccouring, not just 2 weeks then it's done for a year but often.

maybe dysthymic (low grade depression) if it's really bothering you
a ssri would probably help, easy to get psychrartists hand them out
like candy, though i don't really agree with that approach. I think
depression is more common then everyone likes to think it's just people
don't usually talk about it.

btw you might wanna rethink the whole 4th floor deal, i mean you still
have a very good chance of living and being a vegtable the rest of yer days

:stoned:


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OfflineGrok
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Re: The "Self" and moods [Re: vampirism]
    #2716481 - 05/22/04 11:25 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

I can relate to your feelings...when I feel shitty I feel like I'm more 'myself' than I am most other times, and I sort of like it in a strange way. During these times I also feel strangley clear-headed. I shoot guns a lot, and sometimes if I'm feeling shitty, I'm tell myself to save a round or two, but when I'm happy, I feel stupid for even thinking about that. I go between these extremes what seems like every day, and its kind of fucking annoying. Oh well i'm strange and will shut up now. I don't know of any miracle cures, but I know that opiates on a strictly biweekly or less basis seem to help quite a bit.


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Invisiblevampirism
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Re: The "Self" and moods [Re: John]
    #2717731 - 05/23/04 10:53 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

the sometimes may not be quite so clear

I've had this problem as far as I can remember,
in High school there were two periods of roughly 6 months each where this happened.

Recently, it seems to build up over a while, stay in full form for a day to a few days, and then go away

I don't know - don't think i can afford a psychiatrist, won't go to one, and would prefer some other way of making ammends.


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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: The "Self" and moods [Re: vampirism]
    #2717760 - 05/23/04 11:06 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Hey Morrowind, have you tried exercising?  I have terrible mood swings and I find that I can cope with things better if I have a steady exercise routine.  I've also been meditating and find that that helps. 

Just a suggestion.  I hope you find what you need.  :smile:


*me*


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Offlinechupucabras
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Re: The "Self" and moods [Re: vampirism]
    #2775057 - 06/08/04 04:41 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

I'm sorry but anyone who says they enjoy being depressed has not experienced proper depression.

Dan


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Invisiblelukeboots
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Re: The "Self" and moods [Re: chupucabras]
    #2775330 - 06/08/04 06:20 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

chupucabras said:
I'm sorry but anyone who says they enjoy being depressed has not experienced proper depression.




uh, that's not fact. depression comes in many shapes and sizes, and just because you haven't experienced them all doesn't mean there's only one 'proper' kind.


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Offlinenamesash
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Re: The "Self" and moods [Re: vampirism]
    #2797547 - 06/16/04 02:31 AM (12 years, 5 months ago)

i have been a gloomy person all my life and have enjoyed wallowing in it. it gives me inspiration, and creativeness in my art/writing. i believe this is dysthmia depression. it is not as exreme as major depression. major depression sucks ass and that is what im dealing w/ now. if your moods go in cycles, and u have ups and downs, within days/weeks of eachother, i believe that is somthing on the bipolar spectrum? even if u dont have mania. i have learned my lesson w/ depression and it is: don't get off on your own sadness cuz it eventually gets worse if u hold onto that feeling.


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Offlineaje
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Re: The "Self" and moods [Re: vampirism]
    #2800885 - 06/17/04 12:29 AM (12 years, 5 months ago)

I'm sorry, I can't help you. I feel almost the same way.


--------------------



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Offlinenamesash
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Re: The "Self" and moods [Re: vampirism]
    #2812917 - 06/21/04 02:58 AM (12 years, 5 months ago)

"also feel as if I am nothing but an animated corpse.. I look at others, and I see the same.. sort of freaks me out. Their faces don't show emotion - someone smiles, but i only see how their muscles make the smile and know deep inside that they are smiling for a purpose.."

i can relate to this! when i look at people i see them talking and carrying on conversations and making facial expressions that go along w/ it and somehow i look thru the happy facial expressions & instead see the animated zombie thing; for some reason i get the impression that they have no emotion or are faking everything. i hate it. it scares me it is like my perception is messed up, the way i see people & myself. i think it has to do w/ some type of weird depression.. some black dark depression, but not really a deep depression. if that makes sense


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Offlinehuxmush
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Re: The "Self" and moods [Re: namesash]
    #2814630 - 06/21/04 06:10 PM (12 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

namesash said:
"also feel as if I am nothing but an animated corpse.. I look at others, and I see the same.. sort of freaks me out. Their faces don't show emotion - someone smiles, but i only see how their muscles make the smile and know deep inside that they are smiling for a purpose.."

i can relate to this! when i look at people i see them talking and carrying on conversations and making facial expressions that go along w/ it and somehow i look thru the happy facial expressions & instead see the animated zombie thing; for some reason i get the impression that they have no emotion or are faking everything. i hate it. it scares me it is like my perception is messed up, the way i see people & myself. i think it has to do w/ some type of weird depression.. some black dark depression, but not really a deep depression. if that makes sense




You might want to do web searches for depersonalisation / derealisation (and/or depersonalization / derealization), and see whether you think it covers what you're discussing...?

http://www.dpselfhelp.com is a site that a lot of people find useful.


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