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wolfman42
Truth Lover

Registered: 01/06/21
Posts: 429
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Re: Ego death and anxiety [Re: Neurotech] 1
#27147863 - 01/14/21 02:11 PM (3 years, 14 days ago) |
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Perhaps. But you are always you. You are the observer who is beyond time. There is always you. There is not always ego since ego is part the body which dies. We usually confuse the two. I certainly have.
I've found many people to have a disagreement about what ego death is on these forums so I'll leave it at that.
In my experience I saw my body/ego lying beside me. They even had funeral for it. They are so funny sometimes. I can't help but laugh at the humor. So meta. The mushies always insert themselves somehow in my experiences. They always seem quite proud of themselves. But maybe I am crazy and have lost my mind.
Yes I truly believe it allowed me to tap into a world that exists. Another plane of reality that only the soul can traverse. A soul that is you, the observer. Who is not born and who does not die with the body.
These are my personal beliefs of course. I make no claims about actual reality or the truth of the matter.
Edited by wolfman42 (01/14/21 02:17 PM)
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DJ Ed
Mushroom Engineer


Registered: 09/04/16
Posts: 2,326
Loc: UK
Last seen: 1 month, 28 days
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Re: Ego death and anxiety [Re: wolfman42] 2
#27147879 - 01/14/21 02:22 PM (3 years, 14 days ago) |
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In 33 years I can only count in one hand the number of what I believe to be full “ego deaths”. Terence McKenna once said something along the lines of “mushrooms can’t kill you; they can convince you they can kill you, but they can’t kill you”
For each “ego death” I can remember, it was always proceeded by the absolute concrete belief that this time, regardless that I know mushrooms can’t kill me, but this time, I’ve taken a rogue mushroom and I am in fact dying. Nine times out of ten I can then use all my energy not to die!!! It takes a concerted effort and plenty of advance planning in order to accept this “ego death”,when it occasionally occurs.
What’s happening in the brain when all this is going in, I don’t profess to know. I seem to have picked up two things about the DMN and mushrooms along the way:
1. The DMN is responsible for rumination, which leads to depression, or is common in depressed people. Temporarily switching it off is part of how mushrooms seem to be so effective at treating depression.
2. The DMN contains the ego, and is responsible for keeping us alive. It basically runs us on auto-pilot when we are not actively focussing on something. But as we age, these automatic patterns of thinking become more and more engrained. Which leads to inflexible thinking, which is also a feature of depressed people. Taking mushrooms effectively defrags the DMN, so that during the afterglow and beyond, we can formulate new pathways and new patterns of thinking.
Take care DJ Ed
-------------------- “It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.” Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind “The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.” Terence McKenna

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wolfman42
Truth Lover

Registered: 01/06/21
Posts: 429
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Re: Ego death and anxiety [Re: DJ Ed]
#27147912 - 01/14/21 02:34 PM (3 years, 14 days ago) |
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DJ Ed!
I sense an engineer in you. Absolutely, defrag is such a good way to put it. Never thought of it that way.
Also yes it's the kind of experience i'm not sure I could do again. And if so I'd wait years not months.
I'm all about those recreational doses now. Think I'll stick with that for a while. I have some minor PTSD from my last 'ego death' experience just because of the intensity of it.
Edited by wolfman42 (01/14/21 02:35 PM)
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DJ Ed
Mushroom Engineer


Registered: 09/04/16
Posts: 2,326
Loc: UK
Last seen: 1 month, 28 days
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Re: Ego death and anxiety [Re: wolfman42]
#27147928 - 01/14/21 02:43 PM (3 years, 14 days ago) |
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You absolutely need to integrate an ego death! I love a recreational dose and especially when it allows you to rave for a few hours to trance music. But I always feel like I’ve cheated, like I’ve gone back to my mdma days! Which hold a dark spot in my heart, sure I made my depression worse with it. Anyway I actually prefer a large enough dose to “break through” but not large enough where the ego will dissolve. Round about 3.8g or 3.9g cubensis does it. Once I get much over 4g I’m heading towards dissolution......So with 3.8g i get some time and space transcendence, awesome music, some insights, and generally not too much discomfort or fear. Yeah at 54 I’ve become a chicken!!
And yes, I am an engineer, shame on me lol.
Take care DJ Ed
-------------------- “It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.” Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind “The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.” Terence McKenna

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PrimalSoup
hyperspatial illuminations



Registered: 11/17/09
Posts: 13,568
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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Re: Ego death and anxiety [Re: wolfman42]
#27148126 - 01/14/21 04:42 PM (3 years, 14 days ago) |
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Quote:
wolfman42 said: Yes I make no claims as to if any of what I say is true or not. Just conjecture and thinking out loud based off of research and articles i've read online and what I've personally experienced.
I'm a biomedical engineer and work in neuroscience for 20 years more or less so I've had a few spirited debates with colleagues about DMN and other networks and this sort of experience in general. It's very exciting new research coming up all the time. We really get into it.
Perhaps the experience does not necessitate paralysis. But it certainly necessitates that you not be aware of your surroundings. For how could you be? You are somewhere else.
For me I am quite happy I was paralyzed. I cannot imagine what would've happened to my body had I been "acting out" my experience as you say when you refer to dream paralysis. I simply cannot imagine my body moving while I was experiencing any of that. It would be like trying to stand up on a roller coaster while it was going through a loop.
Good to hear. IME it's less "paralysis" (which I've had a taste of with a wild batch of Ps. cyanescens - a not uncommon experience) but more an extreme indifference to motor activity. As I understand current research the interconnectivity of the brain changes in two major ways - the loci of obvious activity (fMRI) shrink and fracture (to an extent) and the interconnections between these centers increase. In many ways it's a new form of consciousness - and I've spent a lot of time experiencing that so far. Very interesting things happen, things that are almost impossible to either describe or believe.

Indifference to surroundings is also a hallmark of high doses. But when your visual field is overrun and much of your inner dialogue recedes in the face of overwhelming whatever-the-hell-it-is it's easy to lose track of where, when, what you are.
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if you stand too close to the machine it'll start to eat youPrimal's simple tested teks and projects: Wheat Prep 2.0 Acidic Tea Tek Potency Project!
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Loaded Shaman
Psychophysiologist



Registered: 03/02/15
Posts: 8,006
Loc: Now O'Clock
Last seen: 28 days, 4 hours
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Re: Ego death and anxiety [Re: DJ Ed] 1
#27148828 - 01/14/21 11:14 PM (3 years, 13 days ago) |
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Quote:
DJ Ed said: In 33 years I can only count in one hand the number of what I believe to be full “ego deaths”. Terence McKenna once said something along the lines of “mushrooms can’t kill you; they can convince you they can kill you, but they can’t kill you”
For each “ego death” I can remember, it was always proceeded by the absolute concrete belief that this time, regardless that I know mushrooms can’t kill me, but this time, I’ve taken a rogue mushroom and I am in fact dying. Nine times out of ten I can then use all my energy not to die!!! It takes a concerted effort and plenty of advance planning in order to accept this “ego death”,when it occasionally occurs.
What’s happening in the brain when all this is going in, I don’t profess to know. I seem to have picked up two things about the DMN and mushrooms along the way:
1. The DMN is responsible for rumination, which leads to depression, or is common in depressed people. Temporarily switching it off is part of how mushrooms seem to be so effective at treating depression.
2. The DMN contains the ego, and is responsible for keeping us alive. It basically runs us on auto-pilot when we are not actively focussing on something. But as we age, these automatic patterns of thinking become more and more engrained. Which leads to inflexible thinking, which is also a feature of depressed people. Taking mushrooms effectively defrags the DMN, so that during the afterglow and beyond, we can formulate new pathways and new patterns of thinking.
Take care DJ Ed
Dude you're hitting grand slams with your posts lately!
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  "Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance." — Confucius
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wolfman42
Truth Lover

Registered: 01/06/21
Posts: 429
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Re: Ego death and anxiety [Re: DJ Ed]
#27148874 - 01/15/21 12:09 AM (3 years, 13 days ago) |
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Takes one to know one 
I think you're right. I may even stay away from recreational doses for a while. I am happy with a little cannabis to calm my nerves at night. I don't feel the need to use mushrooms much after experiences like that. It's even reset my cannabis usage so low I barely do that anymore. I still feel the glow of it. This was 2 weeks ago today when I had that experience.
I feel like I opened something that I'll never be able to fully close again. It's a bit unsettling. There's a new sense that wasn't there before.
I'll be integrating this for a long time to come.
Edited by wolfman42 (01/15/21 12:21 AM)
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wolfman42
Truth Lover

Registered: 01/06/21
Posts: 429
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Re: Ego death and anxiety [Re: PrimalSoup]
#27148880 - 01/15/21 12:14 AM (3 years, 13 days ago) |
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Very interesting. Thanks for sharing. I hadn't thought of it like that before.
I'd love to do an EEG on myself while I was experiencing it. If I can ever get up the nerve to do that again. Could try on lower doses.
Yes I've seen that picture before. The fMRI. I can't believe what I'm looking at. It blows my mind to see that drastic of a change and that strong of a change in the network structure. How the hell does it do that? Why does it do that? I can't begin to fathom what's happening there.
Edited by wolfman42 (01/15/21 12:19 AM)
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DJ Ed
Mushroom Engineer


Registered: 09/04/16
Posts: 2,326
Loc: UK
Last seen: 1 month, 28 days
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Quote:
Loaded Shaman said:
Quote:
DJ Ed said: In 33 years I can only count in one hand the number of what I believe to be full “ego deaths”. Terence McKenna once said something along the lines of “mushrooms can’t kill you; they can convince you they can kill you, but they can’t kill you”
For each “ego death” I can remember, it was always proceeded by the absolute concrete belief that this time, regardless that I know mushrooms can’t kill me, but this time, I’ve taken a rogue mushroom and I am in fact dying. Nine times out of ten I can then use all my energy not to die!!! It takes a concerted effort and plenty of advance planning in order to accept this “ego death”,when it occasionally occurs.
What’s happening in the brain when all this is going in, I don’t profess to know. I seem to have picked up two things about the DMN and mushrooms along the way:
1. The DMN is responsible for rumination, which leads to depression, or is common in depressed people. Temporarily switching it off is part of how mushrooms seem to be so effective at treating depression.
2. The DMN contains the ego, and is responsible for keeping us alive. It basically runs us on auto-pilot when we are not actively focussing on something. But as we age, these automatic patterns of thinking become more and more engrained. Which leads to inflexible thinking, which is also a feature of depressed people. Taking mushrooms effectively defrags the DMN, so that during the afterglow and beyond, we can formulate new pathways and new patterns of thinking.
Take care DJ Ed
Dude you're hitting grand slams with your posts lately!

Dude I’m slowly clawing my way out of the dark woods I’ve found myself in since the ex of 37 years walked into bed with HER ex! Up and down like you wouldn’t believe. But it is feeling really good being able to focus long enough to start posting back on here again.
The online Shroomery community is second to none 
DJ Ed
-------------------- “It’s like when you see a mountain lion,” he suggested. “If you run, it will chase you. So you must stand your ground.” Michael Pollan: How To Change Your Mind “The problem is not to find the answer, it’s to face the answer.” Terence McKenna

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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,532
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Re: Ego death and anxiety [Re: DJ Ed]
#27149374 - 01/15/21 08:57 AM (3 years, 13 days ago) |
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except, the DMN is not a container for ego, it is just the set of neuron pathways that seem to fire most continuously in response to sensory and memory events.
It is good to note that when it is suppressed many ego-ic expressions seem muted, but this may simply indicate that perception which leads to ego-ic response is itself muted when DMN is suppressed.
Wait, maybe this means that you can explain the effect without using the scientifically weak term 'ego', but by using the nearly as mysterious term 'perception' which is actually memory field resonance with active sensation and other active mind forms.
I agree that DMN modulation is an important area of research for all of us and for science itself with respect to states of mind.
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Shroomysamba


Registered: 11/23/20
Posts: 60
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