It has been a long time since I’ve tripped in general, this was more or less a test run. I smoked 2 hits the other day after my friend smoked dmt for the first time, it was still enough to feel it pretty good, but this one was definitely more intense. I used “the machine” a vaporizer made from a glass bottle with steel wool in the mouthpiece. You melt the dmt into the steel wool and then slowly bring the flame closer and closer until it starts to vaporize. Here’s how it went. I was laying down meditating beforehand with “Enya” radio on Pandora. definitely some pre trip anxiety. After I felt I had meditated long enough to ground myself, it was time. I sucked slowly until the bottle started to fill up with vapor. Held it in for 3-5 seconds and exhaled. Immediately went to the 2nd hit. By now I can feel myself being overcome with the intensity. It hit me pretty hard but once I accepted it and started to go with it all fear went away and I knew I was going to be ok. I could start to see my thought processes in a way that is hard to explain. Like a process that normally would have taken weeks or even a month was all sped up in seconds. I then go for a final hit, hold it in, and then lay down. I could see how every little thought and every little way I change the way I look at things was affecting me. I could see how even the slightest thing has a big effect of how I feel and act. I could see right through a lot of the things that were troubling me in daily life, and I could see right through all these self defeating thought processes and patterns that I am a bad person, there’s something wrong with me, etc. I just said to myself “I’m ok, there’s nothing wrong with me” and I really felt it on a level that I don’t ever feel in daily life. I could feel an intense love that was comforting me, mother figure type energy. I then said to myself “dmt is going to save my life” and “they want me to work with them” “they” being psychedelics. I then proceeded to lay there for what felt like a long time but probably wasn’t that long observing this process that was happening and getting more insights, took a few more little hits to clear the rest out, and then laid on my bed for probably 1.5-2 hours just thinking about it and processing it. I’m excited to get back into psychedelics and to learn to work with them. I’ve had some amazing experiences but never really learned to work with them and integrate them. Thanks.
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