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Offlinechowyunfat
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Registered: 01/23/20
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3.7g Golden Teacher/PE6 mix mind-melt
    #27122015 - 01/02/21 12:38 PM (3 years, 26 days ago)

I posted version of this trip report od reddit in shrooms, nobody cares haha
Dropping it here also... Re-reading and re-writing it helps me grasping the meaning and significance of it...

So,
my girlfriend and I considered ourselves serious psychonauts, I mean, we did acid numerous times, we know importance of set and setting, and some days ago we did 2g of home grown golden teachers (from the batch I used for microdosing for some time) with a quite nice trip - euphoric buzz where we listened to music and enjoyed nice philosophical thoughts. So we were like, meh, almost no visuals, clearly we need a bigger dose since we are so experienced ho ho, what all these people are talking about, "heroic" dose, ha ha, it will be just a bit more intense...I had few small LSD bad trips in the past, they were visual, mythical, and in retrospect, nice and interesting, what could go wrong? I can handle everything, I thought...

We did lemon tek mixing golden teachers and PE6... around 3.7g per person, probably a bit more.

After initial kick in, trip became intense, yes, but we could handle it. I realized laughter is a way of dispelling bad thoughts and trip intensity: we both just laughed at everything, me, her, life, problems, or some bad song that came from the radio... We experienced few inception-like trips that I am yet to try to describe and understand; safe to say trip already was not what we expected. She said "this is like on DMT just more crazy and mad", and I thought she is right, I felt some kind of entity-ness, something is "attacking" me, pushing me, not like on LSD, where I felt myself everywhere somehow and somewhat more in control...

But at one point, madness overcame us! Suddenly, like a summer storm. Yeah, we entered uttermost abyss of chaos without warning, some kind of transcending nothingness devoid of any rational meaning where it was not that ...it was black nothingness..It was pure madness where thoughts melted into one another , and where one was in another realm , like a mad cosmic core that exist 'before' humanity, thoughts, time or anything whatsoever... Constant melting and tumbling of mind mixed with nausea became so overwhelming. GF started mumbling without any sense jumping from one emotion and thought to another, going around the house speaking to herself - truly like she dropped out of One flew from cuckoo's nest.

I desperately tried to find some sense and sanity in all that neverending hell... I  later remembered Sartre's Nausea , and thought how it was similar experience like main character have in the book... he touches some kind of core of being devoid of any meaning or direction, sick chaos of wild purposlesness, and then he concludes life has no meaning in itself, it is he who needs to make something out of it, and then goes to write a book... I would say it was somewhat my experience also, I repeated to her she needs to rebel against madness, I said something like: "YOU are the very rebelliousness against madness..." When I focus on something, like on my chair, how I think how bad it is, how bad it is made and how I appreciate beautiful objects someone made, I felt more sane, more like a person, I found some stability... I think GF found none of it, she just went all over the place, and even does not remember some of the peak part of the trip. If I am to make analogy, this trip was most similar to crazy Salvia trips I saw on youtube (never tried it myself) - kind of psychophysical  lack of control, stability or any anchor. Just pure madness where guy suddenly jumps out of window hahah! TBH hardest part for me was nausea that lasted for some time after the peak (in comparison absolutely no nausea at our 2g GT trip)... It was not paranoid weed-like trip where you hang to some bad thought idea, instead this "badness" really transcends (the right word I think) everything I thought was possible to experience. So till the end we found no bliss or clear skies in the trip, hell kept perpetuating itself in unexpected ways till the morning as we gradually came to our senses. Whole trip lasted 5-6 hours ... Definitely worst experience in my life, and yet, I am satisfied.
I would say it was Level 4 experience, flirting with level 5... Damn...

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.


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Offlinedarkcreature
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Registered: 02/14/21
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Re: 3.7g Golden Teacher/PE6 mix mind-melt [Re: chowyunfat]
    #27498563 - 10/09/21 01:08 PM (2 years, 3 months ago)

awesome report! so how do you feel long term after the trip?


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