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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly
Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,689
Loc: On the Border
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My Dog Honey
#27120747 - 01/01/21 04:46 PM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
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I found her with her guts out her ass and vagina. Her collar had been removed and she was sitting at a crossroads in the southwest desert. She was a pitbull...a supposedly dangerous animal over 75lbs and no fat. I took her to the vet and intended to have her put down. The vet talked me into keeping her and paying for the surgery. The hospital donated a grand to help. In the end I ended up with a dog...very pretty blue nose pitt...that cost me 2500$. I went into debt over this.
She was the best dog...and I have owned good dogs. She was probably 6 years old When I got her...she was as my 8 year old (now) grandson said she was his dog mamma. She stayed in bed with me when I was sick....even the newest sick. When my wife had surgery for cancer that dog was right there.
Unfortunately she was not smart concerning safety, She would chase animals that she could never catch. Her training failed her and she ran a good distance to a Arizona State Highway and appeared to have died instantly by fairly large truck. I walked the desert all night looking, but she was in a fairly obvious place that I didn't really want to look...dead on the highway. I collected her body after a friend said he saw her body...just buried her.
All my brothers (didn't have no sisters) have died...my mother died horribly by Alzheimer's. The funerals and deaths really weren't that impactful. My good friend (user read his shit) Icelander died by his own hand. I was upset but I understood...though his death took a chunk. Now my dog dies and it is a serious deal.
Question: What the fuck? Family members dead and I just go the funeral like it was a social event...as it is. I am autistic and may have psychopathic tendencies (would be cool...not everyone can be called a psychopath!!!)
I bury my dog and its really depressing...why? My wife even breaks down crying randomly. WTF? It will fade to the background. I've seen death as a soldier, Firefighter/EMT and a normal guy...but my dog really impacts...once again WTF? Sort of funny too.
-------------------- "A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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redgreenvines
irregular verb
Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 38,063
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a new dog will find you and help you move on, when you are ready.
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laughingdog
Stranger
Registered: 03/14/04
Posts: 4,829
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"I bury my dog and its really depressing...why? "
its not about why
why is only reason
grieving is your heart opening
the process has its own wisdom
probably will continue in waves for awhile
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DividedQuantum
Outer Head
Registered: 12/06/13
Posts: 9,851
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There are not many things worse in the world than losing a canine whom you really loved. Take solace in the fact that you will never forget her.
-------------------- Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici
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Rahz
Alive Again
Registered: 11/10/05
Posts: 9,301
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I feel your pain. I had a cat that was the sweetest thing. She was crushed by the neighbors car when she was 5. For about 6 months it felt like my being was inhabited by a cold hollow feeling. My best friend had died about 5 years earlier. That was hard to take and I had nervous ticks to deal with. I've lost a couple close family members. None of it comes close to the devastation I felt at the loss of that cat. I've lost other cats before and it wasn't the same. She was special. She was also a creature that needed care. When you nurture an animal it can feel grateful and there's a special bond there. I think in a way it's like loosing a child.
Sorry for your loss.
-------------------- rahz comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace "The object of opening the mind, as of opening the mouth, is to shut it again on something solid." - Gilbert Keith Chesterton
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group
Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,441
Loc: Under the C
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Sorry for your pain, brother.
HNY to you and Mrs. Hue hue!
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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly
Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,689
Loc: On the Border
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Not overly sad...we all move on. I was just curious why people increasingly mean less though it is not warranted. However people all have their own lives and convenience. Even my kids have their own lives as they should and are involved with what they created. That is correct.
If you have a solid relationship with your dog they buy in completely. Your convenience is your dog's. Maybe that's not the smartest approach, but a dog who finds a good owner is set. My dog Honey was strong, brave, gentle, sympathetic, and extremely devoted. I saved her life and got paid back well. If you looked up dog on Wikipedia her picture should be there.
-------------------- "A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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redgreenvines
irregular verb
Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 38,063
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great person that dog!
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Peyote Road
Stranger
Registered: 09/02/15
Posts: 3,527
Loc: Great Lakes State
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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My dog also died recently. She was 12 years old and had developed bone cancer. Losing her was more difficult than any human death for me.
-------------------- The path of the herbalist is to open ourselves to nature in an innocent and pure way. SHe in turn will open her bounty and reward us with many valuable secrets. May the earth bless you. - Michael Tierra
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redgreenvines
irregular verb
Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 38,063
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sorry to hear. will a new puppy help deepen the memories?
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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly
Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,689
Loc: On the Border
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Sorry to hear it. Dogs rock, but humans often suck...but not always.
However, two months before Honey died I had gotten a new dog...a pure white and blue eyed Siberian Husky. A friend acquired her from the shelter after saying he needed a watch dog for his grandmother's house...she is 97. Anyway Huskies do not bark...much like wolves they howl really well, but are mostly shy and quiet...not the guard dog type. My parents had one when I was a young man. He asked me to take it...I did. For a bit I had three dogs and the husky was a handful being large, young, smart, and very curious. Now I am back to 2 dogs. The other is an Australian cattle dog who mourned Honey heavily over the last few weeks...she seems to be taking a shine to the Husky now. So, life continues...
-------------------- "A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly
Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,689
Loc: On the Border
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She had more integrity than most people...yes. By the way...if you need a good...not the smartest...dog. Pitbull dogs have the gentlest temperament. In reality pitbulls don't exist...the breed is called the American Staffordshire Terrier. More pitbulls are in shelters than any other dog...so getting a good one is easy.
-------------------- "A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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pacmanbreed
Registered: 10/12/16
Posts: 3,829
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sorry for your lost man, also lost my dog a year and half now . he had help me around the garden's daily choir more than any person would. dug holes for chicken post etc.
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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly
Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,689
Loc: On the Border
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I have a cattledog who will do that. When I had Honey the cattledog once made a tunnel under my fence...I do not mean just dug a hollow, but a tunnel that went 2 feet under ground like a burrow. Then she let Honey escape through it while she stayed in the yard.
-------------------- "A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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