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InvisibleJim Nemo
Male


Registered: 07/11/13
Posts: 78
Loc: Europe
Re: Should I stay in contact or remove myself from her life? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #27193152 - 02/08/21 06:59 AM (2 years, 11 months ago)

I'm very glad you found a/the path away from her.
That was the only option to reduce harm.

Following this thread partially was like watching an accident - i couldn't keep my eyes of from it

I like your idea of sorting yourself out for a little while.
Do that and eventually return to the partnership-game with strength regained!

All the best wishes for you!


--------------------
When the acid trip is over, you gotta come back to mother blues...


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Anonymous #1

Re: Should I stay in contact or remove myself from her life? [Re: Jim Nemo] * 1
    #27232331 - 03/01/21 04:33 PM (2 years, 10 months ago)

Over a month no contact and it's insane what such a length of times does to ones perspective! At this point, I seriously can't imagine wanting to speak to her again.

I've been doing activism again and reconnecting with old friends. Fitness plans are still going awesome, down 15kg now - I've also been reading heavily into Stoicism. It's awesome, and something I'm going to actively practice. It should stop me getting into situations like this again!


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OfflineThe OCB
Stranger

Registered: 10/14/20
Posts: 86
Last seen: 2 years, 7 months
Re: Should I stay in contact or remove myself from her life? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #27253138 - 03/14/21 10:38 PM (2 years, 10 months ago)

Stoicism saved my life.

Think big.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Should I stay in contact or remove myself from her life? [Re: The OCB]
    #27256710 - 03/17/21 05:22 AM (2 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

The OCB said:
Stoicism saved my life.

Think big.




I've been seriously deep in Stoicism of late - but... I've now discovered Epicureanism too and it seriously resonates (there are areas I don't agree with, but I think they originated due to the socio-political influences in Athens at the time).

I think I need to build my own philosophy of life that bridges Stoicism, Epicureanism, Secular Humanism and Buddhism (obvs with psychedelic sprinklings)  :breakthrough: :laugh:


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InvisibleLynnch
Strangerer
 User Gallery


Registered: 04/29/09
Posts: 7,855
Re: Should I stay in contact or remove myself from her life? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27256719 - 03/17/21 05:35 AM (2 years, 10 months ago)

I heard there was a new cult forming in this sub, how do I sign up?


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Anonymous #3

Re: Should I stay in contact or remove myself from her life? [Re: Lynnch]
    #27256783 - 03/17/21 06:59 AM (2 years, 10 months ago)

Oooooooooooh what new cult!? I want in!


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Anonymous #6

Re: Should I stay in contact or remove myself from her life? *DELETED* [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #27257157 - 03/17/21 10:40 AM (2 years, 10 months ago)

Post deleted by Anonymous

Reason for deletion: .


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Anonymous #1

Re: Should I stay in contact or remove myself from her life? [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #27257446 - 03/17/21 01:21 PM (2 years, 10 months ago)

Ahah, I am totally up for starting a new cult (it's on my things to do list :wink: ). Seriously though, I've been thinking about getting a place to run retreats, which might, or might not be psychedelic in nature - but fuck full of connection and philosophy.

I have no idea what's going on in the cult :laugh:. Just before NC, I know they were doing a drive for new residents and they got to full capacity (16). They are also doing 'political' and 'social' things in their local community and looking at creating wider societal change (it won't happen). This seems to be them appeasing my ex because they want her to stay, and she gets to drive them along in creating commune goals and doing things of 'worth'.

We actually briefly text a week back. She let me know she was OK, but she's now in a full on relationship with friend-guy, and that she's not ignoring me, but we can't really be friends for now due to that. It seemed to be the final kick I needed to totally move on tbh. I'd be mildly interested to see how long it lasts though, considering how it started, and being cooped up together 24/7 with 15 other people in a really small commune (it's a building with no land)...


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Anonymous #1

Re: Should I stay in contact or remove myself from her life? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27305079 - 05/12/21 01:24 AM (2 years, 8 months ago)

Man, things look very different two months on. Had zero contact with her, and never intend to contact her again. I removed her from all SM and deleted her number months ago.

Life itself is really good. I've got so much going on right now, and I'm in the best shape of my life. I have some really exciting things planned for this summer, and I'm pretty much active and out every day. I even got a promotion at work.

A weird side effect of all this, perhaps the Stoicism, and a new found sense of direction and confidence, is loads of good sex! It's insane. I have no interest in romantic relationships right now, and I'm totally open with my intentions of just wanting decent sex with no complications - sooo many girls are up for this. I've had more sex with more people in the past two months, than I have in the past 20 years.

And yes, I know sex can be a hole to fall into, but I've set boundaries, I'm really open with my hook ups, and it's balanced by the rest of my life.

So, things are good :manofapproval:


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Anonymous #3

Re: Should I stay in contact or remove myself from her life? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27305332 - 05/12/21 07:34 AM (2 years, 8 months ago)

Woo-hoo! :freewilly:
:fuckyeah:  :hellyeah:  :ohyeah:


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InvisibleLynnch
Strangerer
 User Gallery


Registered: 04/29/09
Posts: 7,855
Re: Should I stay in contact or remove myself from her life? [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #27305571 - 05/12/21 10:33 AM (2 years, 8 months ago)

Man, it's amazing what opens up when we let go of things that ain't working.
Get it bro! Hope you're bein safe :lol:


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Anonymous #1

Re: Should I stay in contact or remove myself from her life? [Re: Lynnch]
    #27360091 - 06/23/21 12:20 PM (2 years, 7 months ago)

This like a nearly 6 month update?!

Still no contact, and no desire for contact. I'm in a really good place too.

I've built up new connections and friend groups, and I have zero desire for romantic relationships.

I'm exploring what could be called relationship anarchy. I've got 4 people I regularly sleep with, communication is key, and clear boundaries. If feelings arise, we cool it off. It's insane. I've met one woman who is a total sub and loves to be dominated - she's really into pain play and constriction. She's also really open to being lead on a drug awakening, so I've introduced her to G, K and we have some tripping planned. Another is totally into the kink scene - she plans on taking me to some kink and swingers clubs when they open again.

If I have to thank my ex for something, it's the pain of the breakup really causing me to experience a period of intense self reflection. It's amazing how being authentic, and true to ones values and desires, opens so many doors.

Either way, life is good ;p


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OfflineThe Mycologist
Explorer

Registered: 05/06/16
Posts: 3,024
Last seen: 29 days, 8 hours
Re: Should I stay in contact or remove myself from her life? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27360096 - 06/23/21 12:23 PM (2 years, 7 months ago)

:leocheers:


--------------------
"That you are here—that life exists, and identity;
That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse.”
― Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass
:acidfire::tmckenna:


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Anonymous #3

Re: Should I stay in contact or remove myself from her life? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27360584 - 06/23/21 07:26 PM (2 years, 7 months ago)

:fistbump:


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Anonymous #1

Re: Should I stay in contact or remove myself from her life? [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #27408256 - 07/30/21 09:23 AM (2 years, 5 months ago)

And boom - cutting off contact with my hook-ups! ahah.

Laid it right out from the beginning that we can hook-up, but I had no interest in romantic situations. Clear boundaries, and clear communication and then the game playing starts. They get attached, and they want more. Rather than talk this through, they go the attempted jealousy route, fucking other people etc. I am absolutely fine with this, and tell them that, and that doesn't go down well.

It's weird how it went weird with each of them at around the same time.

I've come to the conclusion that most people aren't emotionally balanced enough to explore poly-based sexual situationships. Two of them wanted to explore poly, and this then reduces down to wanting exclusivity.

For now, I'm done, I'm going to focus on my life and hobbies for a while - life is pretty awesome right now.

It's been a blast all!

To add a twist, still NC with my ex, but happened to see her updated business photo (mail shot thing I hadn't blocked) and... man, she's looking really bad. Sallow skin, bags under her eyes, lost her glow. If that's the best she looks that she'd use it for business stuff... Living in a drug fuelled party cult doesn't seem conducive to good health - who'd have thunked it? In a fucked up way, it made me feel better about how awesome my life is ahah.


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Anonymous #2

Re: Should I stay in contact or remove myself from her life? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #27408528 - 07/30/21 02:08 PM (2 years, 5 months ago)

As a medical professional, I will confirm that drugs are bad mmmK?


Edited by Anonymous (07/30/21 02:09 PM)


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