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 drr
Registered: 05/20/09
Posts: 8,444
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 Re: I've been taking xanax everyday  [Re: koods]
#27102941 - 12/22/20 06:46 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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I don't think the palpitations were caused by anxiety, I think they were a direct benzo withdrawal symptom. I experienced them without any perceived anxiety too. They went away completely after about a month of tapering down from using 
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 Shroomslip
Architekt
 
Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,681
Last seen: 46 minutes, 50 seconds
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Re: I've been taking xanax everyday [Re: Heinrik] 3
#27103156 - 12/22/20 09:34 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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I destroyed my life with benzos. The worst part is, in the beginning I was fine, even the people closest to me would tell you I was fine. I didn't go crazy, I didn't do anything that would put me in jail. I did random weird shit like use vanilla pudding as dip for tortilla chips or get myself covered in chocolate as I tried and failed over and over again with the motor reflex capabilities required to melt a hole in a chocolate Santa and seat a bong stem in it..
For years that was me. Just goofy and weird but never violent, psychotic wouldn't even leave the house and get into random chaos. Then it all changed. For no real reason. It became a likely to throw me into sub psychotic rage as it did to make me just relax and go to sleep. There was no rhyme or reason, it just happened. Like there was a switch in my brain it flicked every time I took it, but you never know which way it was going to flip.
I recognized this. Realized that no, I can't keep doing this. I got off it. My withdrawal story is well documented on this site. Most people probably can't access it because it was in romper room, but it's there. It was fucking hell. They're are people in my life I've fantasized about killing, and I wouldn't even wish it upon them.
I couldn't move because of the nausea, I couldn't look at anything that produced light because it hurt my head (I still made it a point to let people know how it was going). I couldn't eat bedside I had no appetite, but I was also weak and sickly for the same reason. Couldn't sleep, and best I might get 20 minutes where I wasn't entirely conscious of the hell I was in. Worst of all.... And this is one that you'd just have to experience, keeping in mind what I've just said about the physical. There was no sense of time. None. Not just it seemed longer, I mean there was no sense of time passage at all. Everything, all of this was not passing, and is was all happening at once. That time I spent a week ago just puking into the toilet? It just happened. That time my stomach started hurting and I couldn't bare it that began a minute ago? I've been dealing with it a year. I know what eternity feels like more than the average person will ever even be able to fucking comprehend. People think and experience everything so linear it's like second nature. Let me tell you, if you're ever unlucky enough to go through the concept of time disappearing.. you'll know hell as you've never known it in the pass.
So should you stop? Yes. Because you're digging a hole and it only gets worse.
Also, I quit benzos with an actual taper. I researched and prepared. This is the hell I suffered while managing it the best way that can be. I didn't fuck with the taper.. I knew that total relief was right there, and I fought it, I fought like hell.. I stuck to it, and I eventually quit. Then months later I got into a fight with my wife, took doses that should've killed me, chased it with alcohol and damn near threw my whole life away.
Imo, the best way to describe benzos is insidious. Not only is quitting a real habit probably one of the worst experiences you'll ever face in life, but if you let yourself go back, it's going to bite you in the ass so hard you'll of wished the withdrawal had killed you.
That's just my opinion and experiences. Make of it what you will.
--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.
You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
Edited by Shroomslip (12/22/20 09:36 PM)
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ShroomedOcean
Registered: 09/14/20
Posts: 446
Loc: Hbg
Last seen: 2 years, 9 months
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Re: I've been taking xanax everyday [Re: Shroomslip] 1
#27103278 - 12/22/20 10:58 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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xanax is the bombb 
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Seriously_trippin
Cosmic Guru Ganesh
Registered: 07/12/13
Posts: 14,655
Last seen: 1 hour, 7 minutes
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Xanax saved my life, it's night and day to many other medication for ptsd. That being said I had to be on it since 13 because they had destroyed my system with high doses of ritilan and concerta from age 8. Then when I had my NDE bad accident I got a lifetime of ptsd panic attacks 3 times a day and ptsd nightmares every night for nearly a decade straight. Xanax saved my life but it also destroyed my memory which is beyond precious and I wish imdidnt have it so young but they had no info back then about those things. So in short it's essential for some but it's incredibly addictive if you withdraw cold turkey you will get a seizure like I did and not get so lucky on having someone call 911 immediately. Also memory is precious and destroyed memory is a horrible feeling.
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R.I.P
Zombi3, Blue Helix
Modest Mouse
Zappa
Slothie
That Kid With The face
ShLong
Le Canard
split_by_nine
& Big Worm Forever
Etched in the sands of time in the shroomery and ever so beloved and deeply missed by many 
Edited by Seriously_trippin (12/22/20 11:44 PM)
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ShroomedOcean
Registered: 09/14/20
Posts: 446
Loc: Hbg
Last seen: 2 years, 9 months
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Im on bars of buspar :
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koods
Ribbit
Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,910
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 3 hours, 1 minute
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Re: I've been taking xanax everyday [Re: ShroomedOcean] 1
#27103347 - 12/23/20 12:37 AM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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That shit is awful in its own way
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NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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Amanita86
OTD Keymaster
Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
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Re: I've been taking xanax everyday [Re: koods]
#27103349 - 12/23/20 12:40 AM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Why?
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 Orange clock, pencil
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34 
Gam zeh ya’avor...
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zZZz
jesus
Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,479
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Re: I've been taking xanax everyday [Re: Nifflerz]
#27104614 - 12/23/20 05:42 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Niffla said:
Quote:
zZZz said:
no xanax 4 me
hi
bye
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zZZz
jesus
Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,479
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Re: I've been taking xanax everyday [Re: I AM SWIM]
#27104627 - 12/23/20 05:46 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
I AM SWIM said:
Quote:
1234go said:
What are you so anxious about?
Anxiety is a mental disease, you need to seek treatment.
Anxiety isn't just mental, it affects the body physically and the symptoms are physical.
It's both physiological and psychological.
1234 was jus mad cuz op said homosexuality is a mental disease
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zZZz
jesus
Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,479
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Re: I've been taking xanax everyday [Re: anatomality]
#27104633 - 12/23/20 05:48 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
1234go said:
 I'm just giving heinrik shit over an earlier post of his.
Quote:
anatomality said:
Quote:
1234go said:
I'm just giving heinrik shit over an earlier post of his.
Lol I'm stupid. I forgot what he said about homosexuals. My Bad.
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Nifflerz
Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 49,380
Loc: Pudge County, TX
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Re: I've been taking xanax everyday [Re: zZZz]
#27104635 - 12/23/20 05:49 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
zZZz said:
Quote:
Niffla said:
Quote:
zZZz said:
no xanax 4 me
hi
bye
F U 2 THEN 
--------------------
Aka Pudge (the real one, not the bitch ass fake one from 2020)
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zZZz
jesus
Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,479
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Re: I've been taking xanax everyday [Re: Nifflerz]
#27104643 - 12/23/20 05:57 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Niffla said:
Quote:
zZZz said:
Quote:
Niffla said:
Quote:
zZZz said:
no xanax 4 me
hi
bye
F U 2 THEN
go away
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1234go
Registered: 07/08/09
Posts: 56,768
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Re: I've been taking xanax everyday [Re: zZZz]
#27104666 - 12/23/20 06:10 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
zZZz said:
1234 was jus mad cuz op said homosexuality is a mental disease
That definitely doesn't sit well with me, but it's not why I reacted the way I did. You're out of character this evening, what's the matter? 2020 got you down?
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Nifflerz
Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 49,380
Loc: Pudge County, TX
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Re: I've been taking xanax everyday [Re: zZZz]
#27104672 - 12/23/20 06:12 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
zZZz said:
go away
I remember when we used to be buds. I have fond memories of it all. The good times, the bad times. We went through thick & thin. But alas all good things come to an end 
I'll never forget you zZZz and I will always love you
goodbye forever my friend
maybe one day, in our next lives, we shall cross paths again 
--------------------
Aka Pudge (the real one, not the bitch ass fake one from 2020)
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zZZz
jesus
Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,479
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Re: I've been taking xanax everyday [Re: 1234go]
#27104699 - 12/23/20 06:25 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
1234go said:
Quote:
zZZz said:
1234 was jus mad cuz op said homosexuality is a mental disease
That definitely doesn't sit well with me, but it's not why I reacted the way I did. You're out of character this evening, what's the matter? 2020 got you down?
be quite
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zZZz
jesus
Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,479
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Re: I've been taking xanax everyday [Re: Nifflerz] 1
#27104701 - 12/23/20 06:26 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Niffla said:
Quote:
zZZz said:
go away
I remember when we used to be buds. I have fond memories of it all. The good times, the bad times. We went through thick & thin. But alas all good things come to an end
I'll never forget you zZZz and I will always love you
goodbye forever my friend
maybe one day, in our next lives, we shall cross paths again
u were never my friend
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zZZz
jesus
Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,479
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Re: I've been taking xanax everyday [Re: zZZz]
#27104704 - 12/23/20 06:28 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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@1234go 
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Nifflerz
Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 49,380
Loc: Pudge County, TX
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Re: I've been taking xanax everyday [Re: zZZz]
#27104706 - 12/23/20 06:29 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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--------------------
Aka Pudge (the real one, not the bitch ass fake one from 2020)
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Nifflerz
Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 49,380
Loc: Pudge County, TX
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Re: I've been taking xanax everyday [Re: zZZz]
#27104724 - 12/23/20 06:46 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
zZZz said:
u were never my friend
--------------------
Aka Pudge (the real one, not the bitch ass fake one from 2020)
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zZZz
jesus
Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,479
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Re: I've been taking xanax everyday [Re: Nifflerz] 1
#27104725 - 12/23/20 06:47 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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yea u’re moar than a friend we’re practically family now 1234 aswell
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