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OfflineBoto
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Registered: 12/19/20
Posts: 3
Last seen: 3 years, 1 month
My first experience with magic truffles - still a little stunned and in need of assistance
    #27098108 - 12/19/20 05:08 PM (3 years, 1 month ago)

Hi all,

The title of this topic isn't entirely correct as I had my very first experience with magic truffles a few weeks ago. Back then, I only took 12 grams of fresh mexicana truffles (bodyweight 90kg / around 200 pounds) and had eaten some fruit right before, which, in combination with some anxiety about what was coming, resulted in a very tame experience. Most importantly, I was also weaning of my anti-depressants. (I have a 15 year history with depression and have been prescribed over half a dozen anti-depressants and mood stabilizers which in my experience and opinion have done very little for me.)

Fast forward to last Thursday, when I took 16.5 grams of atlantis truffles on a completely empty stomach, with less axiety, no meds in my system and a better setting and intention.

During the first part of the trip I was outside in nature and had great visuals, was in awe of everything and anything, felt euphoric, etc. I saw diamonds in trees (leaves), saw music with my eyes closed, my scarf left amazing around my chin and neck, ... After a good while, whilst listening to 'medicina-ish' music, I felt that I was becoming extremely emotional so I walked home. Once home, I let go and during a good 30-40 minutes I had one of the most emotionally intense and profound experiences in my life.

I felt extreme gratitude and awe and screamed and cried out from such a deep place inside myself, almost like a wild animal. Laughter too had never felt so real. Everything felt so profound. I was at the same time both extremely euphoric, happy and crying out all my fears, frustration and anger. Any outsider would have thought I was in despair at times as that is likely what it sounded like, but it felt sooo liberating and good. I also felt very connected to the people I know and the environment around me. It was incredibly therapeutic, especially since I have had a very hard time having any sort of real emotion for so long becasue of my mental illness.

I should note that my first experience was with a (trusted) trip sitter but my second one I was completely alone. I feel like this was in part why I was able to let go as much as I did and it is the reason I did it alone this time around. Are there any real dangers to doing this solo, considering I could always run to any stranger or neigbor and ask for help? At no point did I feel it would take me longer than 10 seconds to gain control of my situation, nor did I ever feel scared or worried.

While my experience was very intense and meaningful to me, I felt like I could go a bit "deeper". How should I go about my next few trips in the coming months (or even years)? I also know people that give ayahuasca 'workshops' where you stay overnight but I don't feel like dabbling into that quite yet. I could try to get my hands on mushroom grow kits but am unsure if it is needed. Dosing seems easier to mess up too (I got a scale even for my prepackaged truffles I get from a shop). Is there any difference in intensity and/or experience vs truffles? Since they have the same active substance, I'd assume I can just dose high enough with truffles? I should note I have 16.5 grams of 'Dragon Dynamite' (what's in a name) magic truffles too. I'm also not chasing the visuals or w/e but purely the spiritual aspect of the trip, if this helps in aiding me in my next steps.

I'm also gonna assume I can go deeper into a trip my getting setting and mental state better. I basically walked and sat around in nature first, and then at home did some practical things (got into fresh clothes etc) and sat in the living room, eyes open and sometimes messing with my music etc. I imagine doing some mindfullness etc during and focusing more, gets you much further?

Can I 'plan' my intention out so that I am more likely to experience insights / thoughts on certain issues / situations in my life I want to address? In other words, can I deliberatly focus on - say - career prospects and my mental well-being surrounding it it and am to achieve insights? If so, how should I prepare? Or is this something one should always try to do with a shaman / therapist (who is open to these things)?

Because I was so "in the moment", felt connected and had these extremely pure and intense feelings, I feel like I had a taste of what 'ego death' is like. Is their any validity to that thought? Or did I just have an extremely emotional reaction to an otherwise ok (but for some of you mild) trip? Not that it matters much but I want to have a better understanding of what I went through.

To make my post a bit clearer, I underlined some questions. Thanks in advance to anyone who takes the time to read about my experience and/or answers me!

Tom


Edited by Boto (12/19/20 06:45 PM)


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OfflineSocrateshroom
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Registered: 09/05/18
Posts: 1,840
Loc: Westworld
Last seen: 17 days, 10 hours
Re: My first experience with magic truffles - still a little stunned and in need of assistance [Re: Boto]
    #27098174 - 12/19/20 05:51 PM (3 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Boto said:
I should note that my first experience was with a (trusted) trip sitter but my second one I was completely alone. I feel like this was in part why I was able to let go as much as I did and it is the reason I did it alone this time around.





Usually, going it alone is more conducive to internal work. Other people can be distracting, and if you worry like I do, worrying about others can pull you out of the experience.

Quote:

Boto said:
Are there any real dangers to doing this solo, considering I could always run to any stranger or neighbor and ask for help? At no point did I feel it would take me longer than 10 seconds to gain control of my situation, nor did I ever feel scared or worried.





Dangers? There are dangers to everything. But, before I quit alcohol, I drank quite a few times to the extreme (complete loss of inhibitions, blacking out). So the average person getting hammered in a bar is at more risk than a responsible tripper.

There are dangers like hurting yourself on accident (slipping, falling etc). Or the possibility of being hurt if you take too much in a bad setting (unfamiliar place, busy road, middle of the woods, etc). Those are generally able to be mitigated by being responsible, having a proper set/setting, and not taking a massive leap in dose that you may not be prepared for.

There are no physical dangers from the substance itself, i.e you wont overdose, the chemical is "harmless" physically. There are a small handful of recorded deaths assumed to be from psilocybin (not "accidents" involved under the influence). One was a concentrated extraction of psilocybin where an ungodly amount was taken. We do not know how much a contributing factor it was in the person's death, and whether they had other substances in their system, but if you could compress two hundred bottles of vodka into a pill and pop it, I'd expect you to die too. And to consume that quantity in mushroom material, tea etc, you'd puke or black out long before you reach that threshold (if there is even one). Another death was someone who had a heart transplant. It is recorded that she took a standard-high dose and passed away. How much of a contributing factor were the mushrooms in that case? We do not know.

The rest are the small handful of people who had psychotic breaks and died via accident or suicide. That's a risk that comes with life (although people with pre-existing mental illness, or those at risk, should be extra careful when using psychedelics).

And then there are the poisonings/deaths that come from people MISIDENTIFYING. For a while these were pushed as deaths due to "magic mushrooms" although, luckily, science has caught up and revealed the truth. So that isn't a danger of taking psilocybin containing mushrooms, but rather a danger that comes with wild picking, especially for those who are not skilled at telling mushrooms apart.

Anyway, all that above goes to show you that, unless there is some serious irresponsibility on your part, or some serious pre-existing condition, the risks are minimal. All risk cannot be removed from anything in life. You're probably in far more danger when driving to work than when you take mushrooms in a safe setting.

Also, DO NOT go running to strangers if the substance you are taking is illegal. And only go to a neighbor you truly trust. If something goes wrong, and you have the ability and option to call an ambulance do that. But something must be seriously wrong for that. Almost 100% of the time there is no danger and you just need to ride it out.

Quote:

Boto said:
While my experience was very intense and meaningful to me, I felt like I could go a bit "deeper". How should I go about my next few trips in the coming months (or even years)? I also know people that give ayahuasca 'workshops' where you stay overnight but I don't feel like dabbling into that quite yet. I could try to get my hands on mushroom grow kits but am unsure if it is needed. Dosing seems easier to mess up too (I got a scale even for my prepackaged truffles I get from a shop). Is there any difference in intensity and/or experience vs truffles? Since they have the same active substance, I'd assume I can just dose high enough with truffles? I should note I have 16.5 grams of 'Dragon Dynamite' (what's in a name) magic truffles too. I'm also not chasing the visuals or w/e but purely the spiritual aspect of the trip, if this helps in aiding me in my next steps.





Have never taken truffles so I can't comment there. But to go deeper there are three steps that I've found

1) Integrate your previous experience
2) Take action to improve your life and those around you (this is for the individual to decide how to go about)
3) Take more

Quote:

Boto said:
I'm also gonna assume I can go deeper into a trip my getting setting and mental state better. I basically walked and sat around in nature first, and then at home did some practical things (got into fresh clothes etc) and sat in the living room, eyes open and sometimes messing with my music etc. I imagine doing some mindfullness etc during and focusing more, gets you much further?





Yes. And not necessarily. It can't hurt, but sometimes the mushrooms will just take you as deep as they intend to, irregardless of all your planning or lack thereof.

Quote:

Boto said:
Can I 'plan' my intention out so that I am more likely to experience insights / thoughts on certain issues / situations in my life I want to address? In other words, can I deliberatly focus on - say - career prospects and my mental well-being surrounding it it and am to achieve insights? If so, how should I prepare? Or is this something one should always try to do with a shaman / therapist (who is open to these things)?





I'm sure you can. Hopefully someone can chime in on this. I haven't been able to go too deep yet, and my ego is far too anchored to be of any use in guiding a trip. And once that ego gets a knock on the head when I break through the come up, all of my "intentions" disappear as they were set by that ego that just got sidelined.

Quote:

Boto said:
Because I was so "in the moment", felt connected and had these extremely pure and intense feelings, I feel like I had a taste of what 'ego death' is like. Is their any validity to that thought? Or did I just have an extremely emotional reaction to an otherwise ok (but for some of you mild) trip? Not that it matters much but I want to have a better understanding of what I went through.

Tom




"Ego death" (which is a bit contentious as some people don't like the term) happens in all of life. I'd rephrase it as "ego dissolution". It dissolves but its particles are still there. You can feel that same experience when your deep in work or play that you love. When you have a moment of unattached joy and wonder in your life, time seems irrelevant and you are just the experience. That is the "ego" dissolving. And, perhaps, a sort of transformational "ego death" can occur during psychedelic experiences. One that is described that way because the subject, like a phoenix from the ashes, rises out of that experience a fundamentally different person. I've yet to go that deep, although many speak of such an experience. Live life. Show compassion. And experiment with psychedelics. You can only have a better understanding by direct experience.


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OfflineBoto
Stranger
Registered: 12/19/20
Posts: 3
Last seen: 3 years, 1 month
Re: My first experience with magic truffles - still a little stunned and in need of assistance [Re: Socrateshroom]
    #27098731 - 12/20/20 04:06 AM (3 years, 1 month ago)

Thank you for your insights, Socrateshroom!


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InvisibleLeafRaker
nomad
 User Gallery


Registered: 11/28/11
Posts: 718
Re: My first experience with magic truffles - still a little stunned and in need of assistance [Re: Boto]
    #27099082 - 12/20/20 10:23 AM (3 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Boto said:
Are there any real dangers to doing this solo, considering I could always run to any stranger or neigbor and ask for help?




Remember, there's nothing that's 100% safe. I would recommend selecting a very familiar environment (your sleeping area?) and put whatever additional work that occurs to you into making safe, including things like putting anything dangerous away and making sure all you are comfortable and have your immediate needs as easily dealt with as possible: you have water, soap, toilet paper, etc. This is, as you may imagine, my method for journeys.


Quote:

Boto said:
While my experience was very intense and meaningful to me, I felt like I could go a bit "deeper". How should I go about my next few trips in the coming months (or even years)? I also know people that give ayahuasca 'workshops' where you stay overnight but I don't feel like dabbling into that quite yet. I could try to get my hands on mushroom grow kits but am unsure if it is needed. Dosing seems easier to mess up too (I got a scale even for my prepackaged truffles I get from a shop). Is there any difference in intensity and/or experience vs truffles? Since they have the same active substance, I'd assume I can just dose high enough with truffles? I should note I have 16.5 grams of 'Dragon Dynamite' (what's in a name) magic truffles too. I'm also not chasing the visuals or w/e but purely the spiritual aspect of the trip, if this helps in aiding me in my next steps.





I'd recommend, for at least a few more journeys, continuing to use truffles. They are familiar and it sounds like you had no problem tolerating them. While different species of mushrooms (or truffles) are mostly the same, they are not identical. And it sounds like you're in a place where they are more easily acquired than mushrooms, that means you could put the effort of growing instead into personal preparation for your journeys. At the very least, you have a baseline/benchmark for tolerance due to prior truffle experiences. A new species wouldn't provide that.

To increase depth, of course you consume more truffles. I think you could also try grinding or shredding them and then adding lemon or fruit acids (the so-called Lemon TEK), which some of us feel makes the experience more profound while also making it shorter.



Quote:

Boto said:

Can I 'plan' my intention out so that I am more likely to experience insights / thoughts on certain issues / situations in my life I want to address? In other words, can I deliberatly focus on - say - career prospects and my mental well-being surrounding it it and am to achieve insights? If so, how should I prepare? Or is this something one should always try to do with a shaman / therapist (who is open to these things)?





Maybe! You can and probably should try to direct your intentions. I certainly try to do that. But if you spend enough time around psychonauts, you find this can be imprecise! One good recommendation I heard (from Rick Doblin, I believe) is write 1 to 5 questions or simple statements on a piece of paper. Have these with you before and during your journey for reference and it should help direct your attention.

Also realize that what you in the days or weeks before or after is also very helpful with this. The trip isn't totally distinct from the rest of your life.

Similarly, your insights or revelations might be less direct and more oblique than you expected. Don't be surprised if an attempt to help with say, laziness and gluttony, ends up with you focused on improving your empathy: this stuff is not always straightforward!


--------------------
Knowledge is finite, ignorance is infinite.


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OfflineBoto
Stranger
Registered: 12/19/20
Posts: 3
Last seen: 3 years, 1 month
Re: My first experience with magic truffles - still a little stunned and in need of assistance [Re: LeafRaker]
    #27100308 - 12/21/20 05:10 AM (3 years, 1 month ago)

Thank you for your comments LeafRaker. I'll definitely take with me a page with some simple questions / statements to aid me during my next trip.

I've heard about tripping with lemon or fruit acids too. Definitely something to consider. :smile:

Thanks!


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