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Bridgetown Botanicals Shop: Bridgetown Botanicals

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Anonymous #1

No matter what I give my girlfriend for Christmas she shows shit enthusiasm.
    #27089320 - 12/14/20 06:23 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Is it wrong or selfish of me to get something from gift-giving?

I feel like a shit for needing something out of what is supposed to be a selfless act but it really gets my shit going when I'm gift giving. I need someone elses excitement and joy.

My wife started a new job, it's in agriculture and she is super pumped. She got herself some standard old workgloves to work in the canadian winter with, no insulation or anything so I went and got her some $70 fuckin carhartt suede thinsulate workgloves. She got those early due to the job starting and it was just.. flat.

I asked her what she wanted and she linked me some cloak custom wearable blanket thing for $170 and a $30 book, got both. Still no real reaction other than a thank you. Bluetooth headphones, all of that. Nothing.

She keeps saying she feels guilty she can't get anything for me but she DOES pay the mortgage and utilities on a home I live in. I tell her that's the best present of all and more than a guy like me deserves and she says that doesn't matter.


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Anonymous #2

Re: No matter what I give my girlfriend for Christmas she shows shit enthusiasm. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27089427 - 12/14/20 07:36 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)



Also you should chip in on bills


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Anonymous #3

Re: No matter what I give my girlfriend for Christmas she shows shit enthusiasm. [Re: Anonymous #2] * 1
    #27089461 - 12/14/20 07:55 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Yeah she probably is sick of your mooching ass.  Gifts don't mean much when your dead weight


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Anonymous #4

Re: No matter what I give my girlfriend for Christmas she shows shit enthusiasm. [Re: Anonymous #3] * 1
    #27089493 - 12/14/20 08:16 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Yeah, it's hard to get enthusiastic about some work gloves when you don't respect your partner and potentially want out of the marriage. :shrug:


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Anonymous #5

Re: No matter what I give my girlfriend for Christmas she shows shit enthusiasm. [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #27089628 - 12/14/20 10:32 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Some people simply don't express gratitude or find it more of a chore to do so. I'm more of an inferred gratitude person in that I don't usually express it unless someone demands it of me, nor do I expect it from other people. If I hand someone a gift, I already know they are grateful since it's part of the process. I find people overly expressing gratitude to me to be uncomfortable and unwarranted; I don't give gifts for get attention, nor do I want it. If my name isn't on the box, then sure, they can jump around all they like.

It seems like you (OP) need/crave acknowledgement from other people, and likely their approval as well. The sooner you overcome this bad habit, the better off you will be. It would help to chip in on at least one bill, but I doubt that is the underlying reason here. Have you ever seen her get get super thank-y with anyone else, in specific instances, or with specific people; there may be conditions for it that aren't met.

Speaking of gloves, I highly recommend tactical gloves for light gardening work. Yes, they are pretty expensive, but they allow for more nimble movements.

Bills aside, she probably does legitimate feel guilty about not having the disposable money to get you something. If that's the case, then getting expensive gifts may be a bad idea since she has no way to repay in a way that is meaningful to her. I'm not wealthy and am pretty much a mooch. I don't want people getting me expensive things, a pack of socks will do since I spend a lot of my days on my feet and wear out socks very quickly.

Take it with some salt since I'm not a social person and prefer to be left alone unless its online. I think the root of the problem is that she has little to no disposable money and taking over one of the bills will help fix that. She will then be able to repay gifts in a manner that satisfies her, and some people feel compelled to repay gifts.


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Anonymous #6

Re: No matter what I give my girlfriend for Christmas she shows shit enthusiasm. [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #27089647 - 12/14/20 10:50 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Pay half the rent if youre living there.


Prolly the best advice you can get. I always dutch. Religiously. I make sure it leans in their favor slightly too.



Sad how money is relevant hey?


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Anonymous #7

Re: No matter what I give my girlfriend for Christmas she shows shit enthusiasm. [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #27089708 - 12/14/20 11:57 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Wait is it your wife or your girlfriend?

I assume she is a grown adult right? If you want joy and excitement and jumping up and down, give a toy to a kid or a treat to a dog.


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Anonymous #8

Re: No matter what I give my girlfriend for Christmas she shows shit enthusiasm. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27089987 - 12/15/20 07:35 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
she DOES pay the mortgage and utilities on a home I live in.



That's your problem right there.

How can you let that happen?


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Anonymous #3

Re: No matter what I give my girlfriend for Christmas she shows shit enthusiasm. [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #27090156 - 12/15/20 09:37 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

She probably would prefer you just give her the cash your wasting on extravagant things while she out busting


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Anonymous #1

Re: No matter what I give my girlfriend for Christmas she shows shit enthusiasm. [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #27090254 - 12/15/20 10:24 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

whoa whoa lots of assumptions being made here about my contributions.
New washer and dryer. I pay for repairs on the truck. I take care of the groceries and renovations around the home and I put a large chunk towards her credit card debt every month.

I cover the medical bills and anything else that we need. The mortgage and utilities are in her name and thats just the way we chose to do things. My contributions are nearly identical in monetary amounts


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Anonymous #9

Re: No matter what I give my girlfriend for Christmas she shows shit enthusiasm. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27090279 - 12/15/20 10:39 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Maybe deep down she’s a horrible person.


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Anonymous #3

Re: No matter what I give my girlfriend for Christmas she shows shit enthusiasm. [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #27090334 - 12/15/20 11:17 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

It's gotta be that then


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Anonymous #7

Re: No matter what I give my girlfriend for Christmas she shows shit enthusiasm. [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #27090480 - 12/15/20 12:54 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Gift giving/receiving can be very awkward and uncomfortable.. maybe she's just not into it.
But look at the gifts you gave her- the cloak and stuff.. that she asked for.. there's no surprise there, why would she be excited? And the gift you did surprise her with- work gloves. Like buying her a vacuum cleaner. (I think that was a thoughtful good gift btw, but it's not like you surprised her with plane tickets to europe or whatever)

Does she ever get excited and joyful?


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