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Shop: PhytoExtractum Buy Bali Kratom Powder   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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OfflineMr.Christmas
Who?
I'm a teapot


Registered: 04/08/20
Posts: 117
Loc: Colombia
Last seen: 12 days, 20 hours
4.5G
    #27087989 - 12/13/20 09:18 PM (3 years, 1 month ago)

Hello to whomever is reading this, and thank you for taking the time. A few weeks ago I did my first trip at a dosage of 4.5 grams. For background, I usually max out at 3 G, which in my head is not that much, or so I thought. One of my close friends was visiting and wanted to trip with me. We both took 4.5 grams of Aussies and relaxed at the Air BnB.

Now, most of my trips are usually full of anxiety, the easiest cause of the anxiety is once I feel my own heart beat. That usually causes my heart beat to speed up and I start getting anxious about that. I felt really constrained in my trip after I started getting anxious, I wanted to walk in nature and go explore but I couldn't since we were in a very suburban area with a small backyard. The thought of walking around the streets frightened me, since I'd probably have to interact with people. Somewhere along the trip, some sober homies that were there with us wanted to smoke a joint, so I joined them and smoked a sativa dominant joint with them.  This didn't really help at all, and it made me go very internal.  This internal feeling always makes me anxious, and I don't know why I'm so afraid of being inside my own body. It made me quite sad seeing in how much pain my body was since I'm a young guy. I laid down in the dirt and felt mother earth embracing me, and it calmed me down significantly, but then I heard the neighbors talking and it freaked me out again so up I was going internal again.

I was tired of being anxious so I went inside to try to sleep it off. As I laid down and started falling asleep, I felt my body shutting down. This made me, for whatever reason, believe I was dying, and made me start freaking out again. I was afraid of having really bad dreams that I couldn't wake up from, so I fought being sleepy as much as possible.

The trip ended with the buddy who also took shrooms with me and I bonding out in the front. Just talking about life and our friendship. It was very nice, but now I'm nervous about the anxiety and why I'm so afraid of being internal and feeling my own being.


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Todo lo que hagas en la vida serĂ¡ insignificante; pero es muy importante que lo hagas.


Edited by Mr.Christmas (12/13/20 09:20 PM)


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InvisibleLeafRaker
nomad
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Registered: 11/28/11
Posts: 718
Re: 4.5G [Re: Mr.Christmas]
    #27088248 - 12/14/20 04:34 AM (3 years, 1 month ago)

I'm always terrified of being with others and being active when I attempt a journey. I think there's a different mindset for interior exploration and perhaps with age (I'm probably at least twice your age!) we become more interested in interior exploration??? I used to think people cared a lot what I was like. Now that I'm older, I know they are more interested in other things, but I really care what I'm like and that makes the interior exploration more my interest.


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Knowledge is finite, ignorance is infinite.


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