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JonBa
Hawaiian shirt weirdo

Registered: 05/14/19
Posts: 361
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
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Existential terror
#27085623 - 12/12/20 12:05 PM (3 years, 1 month ago) |
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I don't know how it came to it, but I went through some thoughts that really disturbed me. Not sure I want to detail the thoughts because it feels like some sort of horror I could transfer onto others by detailing it.
I suppose the simplest way to put it is that I don't know if I have a soul, but everything is pointing to logically lean towards that I don't have a soul. Had this wave of existential terror that has crashed into me and doesn't seem to want to go. I can't seem to be able to distract myself, and indulging in the thought seems to just loop the details over and over and the implication of it is too absolutely overwhelmingly terrifying to twist into any positive.
I don't recall ever having this sort of feeling before, or the full realisation that caused it. Spent most of my teens as a nihilist but I don't think I ever really thought through the horror of the nihilistic perspective before.
-------------------- Life saved by DMT
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Buster_Brown
L'une


Registered: 09/17/11
Posts: 11,309
Last seen: 2 days, 12 hours
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Re: Existential terror [Re: JonBa]
#27088285 - 12/14/20 05:57 AM (3 years, 1 month ago) |
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The horror of existence can be balanced by a healthy mind...if gifts are an external product one might entertain the idea that all fear may be causal.
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Hartford
Lawful Good



Registered: 11/27/19
Posts: 1,106
Loc: Tennessee
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I'm interested to hear how you came to the conclusion that you have no soul. That's a rare mentality that I haven't heard of. Please elaborate.
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Kryptos
Stranger

Registered: 11/01/14
Posts: 12,263
Last seen: 57 minutes, 6 seconds
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Re: Existential terror [Re: Hartford]
#27088652 - 12/14/20 11:27 AM (3 years, 1 month ago) |
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Eh, I don't think I have a soul. At least, not anymore so than my cat has a soul, my cactus has a soul, the tree outside my window has a soul, the internet has a soul...
OP, sure you didn't just have a panic attack?
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JonBa
Hawaiian shirt weirdo

Registered: 05/14/19
Posts: 361
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
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Re: Existential terror [Re: Hartford]
#27090269 - 12/15/20 10:33 AM (3 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Hartford said: I'm interested to hear how you came to the conclusion that you have no soul. That's a rare mentality that I haven't heard of. Please elaborate.
I think I just came to the conclusion that I have no idea, and it was a bit of a shock that really threw me off for a few days.
Still not feeling 100%, but standard anti-rumination and anti-depression behavioural patterns have been very helpful.
-------------------- Life saved by DMT
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jomanda1990
Ewewazos



Registered: 05/15/18
Posts: 689
Loc: Argentina
Last seen: 8 days, 12 hours
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Re: Existential terror [Re: JonBa] 2
#27090323 - 12/15/20 11:04 AM (3 years, 1 month ago) |
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I felt like that for a couple months in 2015 (long before taking pyschedelics). It sucked balls. And it subsided on it's own; I think I finally accepted that whatever it is that awaits us (or not?) after our inevitble death, there's jack shit we can do about it.
Wherever we were before being born, before having any memories, there we will be. The peculiar ordering of the energy that makes up your body will NOT be gone; it will literally melt, along with you, into the rest of the interplay of forces that make up the universe; that natural order which we think is external but that is in fact US, and inseparable from what we call "ourselves".
Psychedelics (LSD in particular) helped me come to terms with the more pessimistic side of this view and made me more appreciative of the unimaginably complex spot in spacetime we live in. I hope you get through this! Meditation, reading, and introspective music can also help, as well as spending time with loved ones doing new or exciting things
--------------------

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Nikon Addict
Another Earthling



Registered: 01/16/18
Posts: 285
Loc: Colorado USA
Last seen: 1 year, 5 days
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Re: Existential terror [Re: JonBa]
#27098592 - 12/20/20 12:18 AM (3 years, 1 month ago) |
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The soul is the life force that animates your body... The soul hides deep within our mitochondria.
-------------------- personal note: "It’s fair to say I’m stepping out on a limb, but I am on the edge and that’s where it happens.”
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