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Anonymous #1

Re: This is going to sound egotistical. Sigh. [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #27081175 - 12/09/20 08:33 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #6 said:
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Anonymous #3 said:Smiling at your coworkers isn't manipulation, its just called having social skills.




I guess it could be manipulation if someone were screwed up enough to get some kicks by "being manipulative" and smiling at someone.

Sounds to me like OP is trying real hard to feel more important than he is.  Not to be rude, nobody is important...not more than anyone else anyways




I dont think thats the case. "Trying to feel more important than I am". I feel worthless. Meaningless. Pointless. It really doesnt make sense what I do. Because with the mindset I have.... I should be at home on the couch doing fuck all and just complaining and bitching. But I go to work a lot. I've got 4 jobs at the moment.


Quote:

Anonymous #9 said:
I'm still confused why you have concluded you need to lie more. You talk about it like it's an old drug addiction you can't help but get back into :rofl:

How and why are you defining modesty and humility as manipulation?? These are totally different concepts.

Manipulation is taking advantage of someone else for personal gain, while ignoring the harm it may do to them or your relationship.

Modesty - the quality or state of being unassuming or moderate in the estimation of one's abilities.

Basically; don't be arrogant. For example, I can play the piano well. Chopin, scott joplin, you name it I could play it. But there's a big difference between being an arrogant douche, going up to someone like "sup babe, I shred the piano cause' I'm a total badass" and being modest. Maybe you don't even have to bring it up. Wait for someone to ask, do you play an instrument? And just be like "ya :wink: find me a piano and I'll play you something."

Neither are lying, one is arrogant, one is modest.

Humility - a modest or low view of one's own importance; humbleness

Now, I don't see how you could possibly object to humility. Once again, not at all connected to manipulation or lying. Humility is what you see when someone has accepted the fact that they are not important.

You already said you believe life is meaningless and your existence has no inherent meaning. If you truly understood what that meant, humility should be inescapable. You are literally an insignificant part of an ever changing ever expanding universe, we are the definition of unimportant. So when you act like God shit out a golden egg and you popped out as his gift to the rest of the universe, it makes you looked arrogant and confused.

Basically, I think your problem in life is that you have a fundamental misunderstanding of humility and modesty, not that you need to lie more.





Okay so what I was trying to touch on yesterday was.... What does it matter what the definition of humility and modesty are? The point is you undersell what you have on offer intentionally for personal gain. If that gain is people thinking youre modest then that is a gain. Modesty as a concept simply cant exist outside of bullshitting. Someone could mis-evaluate their skill level but that wouldnt be modest. That would be failure to recognize potential. Or are we saying modesty is the genuine under-evaluation of ones talents? So an inferiority complex?


But aside from that. What tends to be the case is people require lying in order to be seen as "good". In all aspects of life. Relationships. Careers.


I mean look at women. Men are notorious for bullshitting women they want to fuck or become the boyfriend of. How is a straight talker meant to compete with that? Especially if that saboteur knows youre a straight talker and uses it against you. How many relationships are built off a one night stand with the girl being drunk as fuck? How many husbands and wives do we have walking around the planet because they accidentally got themselves pregnant? How many of those people go around admitting that fact? Or do they all just lie and act like it was true love?

Then youve got career. How fucking hard is it to make a manager like you if youre willing to bullshit? It takes no talent. No skill. But if youre a truth teller next to that liar.... holy shit do you look bad. You could be crawling across broken glass and the liar would just say they did it twice as fast last week for twice as far.


Where is the reality when people speak to me? Why must I be considered cynical simply for stating the way it is?



The society is this massive being that WANTS you to lie. Wants you to escape from reality and exist within delusion. The whole fucking structure in every direction funnels out into mistruths and inevitably some leaking spout of irrelevancy.



You take just personal blame. Blame cant exist. I am who I am based off the experiences that got me here. I could be someone else if I had different experiences. So how can someone be mad when I choose to take an action if the entirety of everything that came before is whats pushing me to take that action?

Yet find me someone who doesnt quickly turn to individual blame when someone fucks up. That IS delusion. We ARE deluded.


The whole god damn structure is built upon these delusions. Even I, as I spout on and on about the delusions, am physically incapable of seeing which delusions I myself suffer from. I feel toxic. I feel unable to be clean. Like we exist in a world where all is grime. All is toxic.


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Anonymous #1

Re: This is going to sound egotistical. Sigh. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27081190 - 12/09/20 08:40 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

And I do try to keep my head up. I mostly find happiness is just making others happy. Complimenting them on their clothing, or something they did that day, or some skill they have like playing guitar or whatever it is.

I really go out of my way to compliment my friends. And even just people I know.


My negativity only seeps out onto this forum. Other than the permanent sad face I have stuck on me. Though I do genuinely smile if someone makes a good joke or something fun or funny happens.


The real world I try hard to avoid this kind of topic with. If pressed I will give it up. But rarely am I pressed.


Tolstoy has one of my main quotes that cycles in and out of my brain. "Only a fool or a coward chooses not to kill themself. And I, being a coward, stand before you today."

Quote is something like that. I KNOW I should end it. But I am too god damn scared.


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Anonymous #2

Re: This is going to sound egotistical. Sigh. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27081344 - 12/09/20 11:18 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
I mean look at women. Men are notorious for bullshitting women they want to fuck or become the boyfriend of. How is a straight talker meant to compete with that?



Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Then youve got career. How fucking hard is it to make a manager like you if youre willing to bullshit? It takes no talent. No skill. But if youre a truth teller next to that liar.... holy shit do you look bad.



Holy shit you're fucking delusional. You don't think that anyone with any sense or wisdom can see straight through people who do that? You think that's the only way to get ahead, to lie?

Who do you think gets further in the world, the man that works hard to achieve his dreams and knows that he has done so, or the one that has achieved nothing yet is talented at lying that he has?


Edited by Anonymous (12/10/20 05:50 AM)


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Anonymous #1

Re: This is going to sound egotistical. Sigh. [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #27081356 - 12/09/20 11:33 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #2 said:
Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
I mean look at women. Men are notorious for bullshitting women they want to fuck or become the boyfriend of. How is a straight talker meant to compete with that?
Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Then youve got career. How fucking hard is it to make a manager like you if youre willing to bullshit? It takes no talent. No skill. But if youre a truth teller next to that liar.... holy shit do you look bad.



Holy shit you're fucking delusional. You don't think that anyone with any sense or wisdom can see straight through people who do that? You think that's the only way to get ahead, to lie?

Who do you think gets further in the world, the man that works hard to achieve his dreams and knows that he has done so, or the one that has achieved nothing yet is talented at lying that he has?





I wish I could live in that world youre in where liars dont get benefits and the people in charge are the wise ones who see through lies. What a glorious view you must behold.

Also youre using strawman arguments here. Youre saying "The ONLY way to get ahead is to lie". Thats not what I'm saying. I'm not underneath a bunch of debt while complaining about careers. I have done quite well through hard work and keeping my head down. But I could be doing better. With lies. I've allowed setbacks as sneaky cunts do sneaky things that I could only battle if I did sneaky things too.




I dunno. I reckon youve read some part way into some of what im typing.... thought "man this guy seems arrogant" and now due to inertia you are trapped there. I could give away all my things and bow before you. Slit my wrists and kill myself to prove loyalty. And youd still think I was whatever it is you think I am. Thus is life.


I physically could not open up my chest more for you bud. I dont know what else to give or say. Or type. Literally just tell me what to say. People walk all over me all day long. And I just let it happen.


If I type silly like... say things like "yeah bro exactly. Totally like... yeah dude." youll think I am immature. If I say things in more flowery wording and detail youll think I am arrogant trying to show off my words. You have presented an unwinnable, impassable, immoveable wall between us.

I am not the devil. I am not evil or mean. I would not hurt you bro. Wouldnt lie to you either.

Hope youre having a good day.


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Anonymous #1

Re: This is going to sound egotistical. Sigh. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27081360 - 12/09/20 11:36 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Also. Why are we acting like liars dont exist or liars are capable of lying to us about things? Its not hard to lie. People get away with it daily. Probably almost all people on earth lie almost every single day.

I may not be accurate on that statement.... but damnit theres a FUCK TON of lies. And a FUCK TON of people getting away with their lies.


You dont think someone could lie to you? Or to a very wise person?


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Anonymous #2

Re: This is going to sound egotistical. Sigh. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27081613 - 12/10/20 05:54 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Of course people lie to me. Most times I can see straight through it, or it comes out in the wash soon enough that they were anyway. You've got lying on some holy grail level shit from the sounds of things, you seem to think all your problems would be solved if only you were a total liar. Correct me if I'm wrong.


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Anonymous #1

Re: This is going to sound egotistical. Sigh. [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #27082951 - 12/10/20 08:21 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #2 said:
Of course people lie to me. Most times I can see straight through it, or it comes out in the wash soon enough that they were anyway. You've got lying on some holy grail level shit from the sounds of things, you seem to think all your problems would be solved if only you were a total liar. Correct me if I'm wrong.




How would you know the percentage of lies that you catch? You cant determine the amount of lies you dont. By definition. Youre basically saying "I caught some people lying. Therefore I am good at catching people lying and most people are good at catching people lying."


I think I was happier back when I lied. And its very difficult where I'm at now. I see people sneaking around and making my life harder and I dont do anything about it. Whenever I point out in great detail the tiny little things they did to get ahead.... I look weird as fuck. And all that needs to be said is how fucking weird I am and boom my goose is cooked.


You know how you can bend the truth in like four different areas to bolster one overarching view that can benefit you? I see people do that shit. It fucks me. I've tried full confidence and taking control of the situation and explaining in great detail the exact things someone did that got them ahead or made me look bad.... and it sounds fucking crazy. Think of how crazy that would sound. But it IS happening. People are SO full of shit.

Or people who cant be wrong. Its truly amazing sometimes the level someone will go to just to not be wrong. I went to my boss a few months ago to point out a potential failing point in the future. He said "no. I know that. I trust that. It will be fine. I've been here a long time." and not but a short while later it failed. I didnt say anything the first time and he didnt say anything to me about how I was right. Then the next fucking day I point out another potential failure. He said the same bullshit about how hes been here a long time and he knows best. The fucking thing fails. So I go to him in frustration because my job is obviously to find failures before they happen. Thats what I'm paid to fucking do. And I say "Hey man. I pointed out this before it happened and also the last time this happened." and he literally responds with "We cant do anything about what has happened. We need to keep our eyes out and pay attention." Like it was fucking MY fault. He literally made a thing where he fucked up TWICE some how be MY fault.

The guy who keeps his head down and allows the bullshit storm to act however it wants to.... that guy gets fucked. In general. I have a lot of good friends that appreciate the way I think though. And the past few real relationships I had were very special. So I guess theres pros and cons?

I dunno. I remember being very happy and deluded. Very full of myself and unaware of pain and shame and regret. No anxiety. Nothing. Just steamrolling about how awesome I am and all the great achievements I've done.


You know what I mean? If youre focusing on a hustle.... (like that you need to look better than you are to people).... you dont have time to feel anything negative. Its just all gravy train happiness and analyzing for your next move.



Also a sidenote: I appear to have a REALLY bad memory now. I wonder if that is to do with not keeping track of all the lies? Like that was the exercise that kept my memory sharp.


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Anonymous #10

Re: This is going to sound egotistical. Sigh. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #27083419 - 12/11/20 04:26 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Nice guys finish last, that's how it's always been.

Seeing a bad person having it all, does not change my moral compass.

Things earned are valued more. Being a genuine person is appreciated/respected more.

If you see a thief with an item (which you would like too) and feel unhappy because you could easily steal that item better than they could, are you going to give in and start stealing? Or do you know it's better to save up and purchase it.

You know what's wrong/right, it's your choice to make in respect of what exactly you want to do, and who you want to be.


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Anonymous #6

Re: This is going to sound egotistical. Sigh. [Re: Anonymous #10]
    #27083720 - 12/11/20 09:59 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Sometimes the bullshitter does get ahead in the short term.  Sometimes you have to do you and just be real.  If you're lucky, you'll find a like-minded person or two to work with in life. If not, you'll have to go it alone like I do.  I've built a pretty decent construction biz and have a lot of good customers because I choose to be up front and not bullshit and I don't accept people that don't act decently in life.  Sometimes it's a lonely road but that's ok.  At the end of the day, I've still got my integrity and I feel accomplished


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Anonymous #6

Re: This is going to sound egotistical. Sigh. [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #27083726 - 12/11/20 10:01 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

OP, I really think you should not focus on these things so much and just be the person that you can feel good about, even if that doesn't always get you ahead in life AT THAT MOMENT because it will pay off down the road


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