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OfflineArron
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Magic mushrooms RAPED me.
    #27083425 - 12/11/20 04:35 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

I am having an extremely bad experience from magic mushrooms. I will try to post the report here.
The link is not working.
You can find it on my Facebook page; /Lester.harvey.1865


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OfflineArron
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Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron]
    #27083463 - 12/11/20 05:51 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

I am writing from a hotel room in Brazil. I have traveled here to try and get help for this constant state of torment that mushrooms have put me in.
I think people should stop promoting the use of magic mushrooms. There should be a strong wraning that their use can cause psychosis & other permanent negative changes to mental health. They should be reclassified as a parasite.
(They have made my life HELL).

I had read several books about mushrooms and listened to many talks on YouTube at the time, including most of the talks by Terrance McKenna.
They were being promoted as a treatment for depression & miracle life changing experience.
I don't have my diaries with me from when I took mushrooms. I will try to explain it from memory.

I first took mushrooms around three years ago.
They were a strain called "Liberty Caps", that grow wild in New Zealand.

I started with 1 gram, in the middle of the day. I walked around outside on a farm by a river. It was euphoric. Though left me feeling drained and depressed again.
About one month later I took a 5 gram dose. This time I was in my campervan in the mountains.
I remember feeling as though I had died & was taken somewhere. I could see and hear family. I chose to stay alive by waking and drinking water. Some of it was frightening. There was a strange insect like humming in the van and some visual distortions.

I took them again (6 times?) at a similar dose, several months apart. I had read Shonagh Homes book, "Love & Spirit medicine", I recall she encouraged regular use?

These experiences were, often like vivid dreaming.
Sometimes geometric patterns & insect like humming & something trying to tell me a story about my life & civilization. There was also a Butterfly that is difficult to describe. Another time it was as though the stars were talking to me.( Taken outside at night).

I had been keeping track of my dreams before I took mushrooms. I am not sure from memory at what point they took over my dreams and became increasingly intimidating, threatening, violent, obscene and abusive,
Then began to rape me. They are trying to kill me, to stop me from talking about this.
(I have been driven to attempt suicide).

See;  "Benevolent Dolphins". (I will send a link).

My dreams became more vivid/ lucid & frequent after these experiences. I would often wake over 20 times a night to record my dreams in a journal.
I also began to experience strange full body vibrations, that would start with a ringing in my ears. Similar to the feeling with the Butterfly & insect like humming.

The scenes and creatures in my dreams also became very strange; Animals morphed into different animals.
Mermaids talking to me. Dolphins, Birds, Leprechauns.
Fairies, Indians, Egyptians, a Chinese man/ Dwarf.
Also, Aliens & flying saucers, a ghost ship, blue beings (that were abusive), & something like a devil woman, with sheep horns. Something with 3 moving eyes. That said it wanted me to go insane. I have seen terrible visions of violence, rape and abuse. They are torturing me.

My ears now also ring constantly & I get convulsions and ticks in my arms and legs. I used to grow & smoke cannabis occasionally, they have caused me to throw away my seed collection & burn my supply of buds.

They were trying to make me have children, I think because I am aware of the damage being done to our DNA by radiation from cell-phones, cell towers, WiFi etc. (A demonic\ black being said that I am Jacob from the Bible in one vision, many of their brainwashing visions have been Christianity themed, though I am not religeous.)
I had been living in the country for many years, away from this radiation. They drove me to live further away from this radiation /EMF. I lived by a lake in the mountains for some months, also s cave in the bush.

In one of the dreams, a Dwarf, who called himself "Dues",
Told me to take 10grams of magic mushrooms.
(I did not realize at the time that they were the cause of my strange dreams). The 10grams I took were a strain called "Pink Buffalo" from website spores 101,
That I grew myself indoors using PFKtek.

When I took them I was in a small hut in the mountains.
I felt very relaxed and seen a White Swan, then something like a rife frequency in my brain. A vibration that continued for maybe 1 hour. Then I sat up & felt reasonably (unreasonably?) normal, apart from some morphing patterns & animals (an elephant) on the carpet.
I felt ok, though slightly nauseated.

At some time after this I stopped playing along with their plan for me to have children. Because they had (physically) RAPED me.
I do not want to describe this detail. I will only say it is sickening, beyond belief.
I decided I could not have children after these events.
Because; A- The abuse that was compelling me to.
B- The risk that the mushrooms could somehow pass this on to my children.

I have not read of any other accounts of something this terrible happening before. I have read a wide range of books including several about magic mushrooms.
There was no warning that this might happen.
They have ruined my life.

I hope that my experience can be a warning to other people. Magic mushrooms are not safe at any dose. They have effects on dreams.
They can lie & trick you.
They can cause permanent changes to your brain & they can RAPE, torture and abuse people.
I can not meditate after this, I see abusive visions when I close my eyes.
I am still haveing tortured dreams, over 3 years after I last took magic mushrooms.

Some of the books I have read;
"One River"
Several by "Carlos Castenada"
The Mastery of Love"
"Love and Spirit Medicine"
"The woman in the shamans body"
"Memories Dreams Reflections"
"Man and his Symbols"
"The Transferrence"- Jung
"Psilocybin Mushrooms of the world" & mushrooms growers guide, Paul Staments.
"The pschyedelic experience" Timothy Leory.
"Magic mushroom growers guide"
"The invisible Landscape" Terrance McKenna.
"The Psychedelic Explorer's Guide: Safe, Therapeutic, and Sacred Journeys"

The book "One River", had some lines about mushrooms potentially causing insanity.
& I am not sure what Castenada was given?
I have only read of a few other "bad trips", though this does not compare.

See my Facebook page for drawings I have made that are how it feels; Lester Harvey.

Please share this with others.
Thank you for reading.

See; HPPD support -facebook.
For other accounts of psychedelics causing lasting damage to people.

Some music/ lyrics are also close to describing this;
Linkin Park - Hybrid Theory, "Crawling".
Alice in Chains - "Nutshell".


Edited by Arron (05/07/21 05:10 PM)


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Invisiblech0ppie
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Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron]
    #27083493 - 12/11/20 06:33 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

So sorry to hear of your negative experience  :hugitout:

Before any mushroom use, did you suffer from any health conditions, notably mental health?

When you say you've traveled to where you are now to seek help, is there someone treating you there? What's the treatment regime if so?

Although McKenna mentioned the issue of people not consuming a potent enough dose, it seems like you jumped from a first trip dose of 1g, straight to 5g+ doses, which is considered heroic if I'm not mistaken.

Did you acknowledge that the mushrooms were making you do all those negative things at the time, or only afterwards?

I think one should never lead another to believe mushroom use would result in a sure "miracle life changing experience" as you say it was promoted to you as. And it's unfortunate that, that was the case.

Hope things only get better for you. Stay strong  :muscles:


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OfflineSocrateshroom
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Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron]
    #27083515 - 12/11/20 06:58 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

I'm sorry that you are having trouble and I do hope that you can find peace/treatment of whatever ails you.

But, with all due respect, it seems that you have manifested the symptoms of some mental illness, not been "poisoned" by psychoactive mushrooms.

It's important to understand that ANY intense or highly stressful event/life-change can trigger such phenomena. There are many stories where a man, having just become a father, snaps and does something drastic. And many psychologists attribute that to the stress and realizations of the coming challenge of fatherhood that triggered psychosis in the individual.

The truth is, people are both incredibly resilient and rather fragile. Many events that are innocuous to one person are enough to set another down a dark and scary path.

And it is a fact that, for some, psychedelic experiences can trigger mental anguish/illness due to the sheer intensity of them. This doesn't mean that the substance itself is to blame. This doesn't mean that there is a specific chemical in the substance that causes psychotic manifestation.

I do really hope that you are able to overcome this torment. And I understand how, when in anguish, we want to find a direct cause. So we often find something to blame and, with great zeal, promote its evil. But we can be misguided in our delusion to blaming the wrong thing (I know, I've had my troubles and I always seemed to blame what was easiest to condemn, not what the actual cause was).

The truth is, mushrooms are NOT for everyone. Just like alcohol is NOT for everyone. Hot sauce is not for everyone (especially if you have IBS). TV is not for everyone. Etc, Etc.

And, this is blatantly false:

Quote:

Arron said:
I hope that my experience can be a warning to other people. Magic mushrooms are not safe at any dose.





--------------------


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OfflineArron
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Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Socrateshroom]
    #27083628 - 12/11/20 08:56 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Has anyone read his Terrance Mckennas book. "The invisible Landscape"?
They talk about being in a permanent trip like state from magic mushrooms.
It is widely accepted that once you have taken them, they continue to effect you (always).
They can cause permanent changes to how your brain works.

Has anyone else noticed a significant change in their dreams content & experience after taking mushrooms?

I think what it means when people say "mystical" experience, is that they do not know what is really happening.
We do not know what mushrooms are.

What I mean when I say any dose is unsafe, is that they cause permanent effects/ changes.(possibly at any dose).
And you cannot trust that this will be a positive change.
They lied to me at low doses.

To Socrateshroom; comparing my abuse from mushrooms to becoming a father is insulting.

"we know a thimbullfull about pscychedelics and that thimbull you could throw away" - Terrance McKenna.


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OfflineCorundum
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Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron]
    #27083661 - 12/11/20 09:24 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Arron said:
To Socrateshroom; comparing my abuse from mushrooms to becoming a father is insulting.




No, it's not insulting. He isn't even comparing your "abuse from mushrooms" to being a father, as you say. The metaphor is being used to illustrate that you are exhibiting signs of mental illness and that this may have been triggered by a traumatic experience (your high dose).

Judging by your posts here it would seem to me that it would be best for you to stay away from psychedelics and seek professional help. Judging by your OP it seems you might be a little unstable right  now so it might not be the best idea to be drifting through a foreign country seeking treatment from people who are probably unlicensed and unqualified. Consider returning home to your family to get professional help.


--------------------
:samus::samus:


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OfflineSocrateshroom
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Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron]
    #27083714 - 12/11/20 09:57 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Thank you Corundum for making my point clear.

1) As he stated, I in no way compared mushroom abuse to becoming a father. What I did compare is the INTENSITY of both experiences. Becoming a father is a huge experience and, especially, if someone is unprepared. That sudden realization that "I now have an important and life-long responsibility" has been, unfortunately, known to cause some men to have mental breakdowns. And, in the same way, some difficult psychedelic experiences can trigger similar mental anguish. But it isn't only the aforementioned events that can be triggers. Any difficult, traumatic or intense experience can be a trigger.

2) Everyone is so hung up on "permanent" changes. Permanent changes are constantly occurring in our lives. We are not the same mentally, or physically, as we were when we were infants (hopefully). Permanent change is unavoidable in life and required for positive transformation.

Are you talking about permanent PHYSICAL changes to the brain structure? There some evidence of increasing connections between various brain regions but NO proof of any negative physical neurological changes such as neuron degradation.

So the "permanent" changes are emotional/spiritual/psychological. And even those aren't necessarily permanent as we see of plenty of people who have "improved" in some way psychologically only to regress. But yes, the intensity of the experience can permanently change your perceptions.

And I agree, not all change is positive. With or without psychedelics, LIFE changes us more than anything. Lots of people, faced with a difficult life, change for the negative. And many people faced with similar difficulties change for the positive. It's the risks we take in doing anything, in living life. We don't always know if we'll come out better for it. And perhaps some risks are too great. And for some people, I absolutely agree that psychedelics pose too high a risk for use.

Anyway, I am not looking to insult you. I am sympathetic to your cause. I had the same problem with alcohol, which I abstain from. But I came to the realization that my psychological problems were mine and alcohol was not directly responsible (even if it made the negative manifestations of my psyche much worse).

Furthermore, I believe claiming that any substance is undeniably unsafe, in the absence of airtight evidence, is irresponsible. Your experience is important and we need to consider it (and others) when we discuss mushroom use, but your experience is not indicative of the totality of ALL psychedelic experience, just like my positive experiences with it are not indicative that others will benefit as well.


--------------------


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OfflineArron
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Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Socrateshroom]
    #27083819 - 12/11/20 10:56 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

I am unable to have children because of what has happened to me.

This does not compare as a metaphor or in intensity to becoming a father.
And I find it offensive. (Weather you ment it to be or not).
It is a further insult to say my report is a sign of mental illness.

You did not have the same problem with alcohol.


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OfflineSocrateshroom
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Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron]
    #27083842 - 12/11/20 11:09 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Arron said:
I am unable to have children because of what has happened to me.

This does not compare as a metaphor or in intensity to becoming a father.
And I find it offensive. (Weather you ment it to be or not).
It is a further insult to say my report is a sign of mental illness.

You did not have the same problem with alcohol.




With all due respect, you do not know the extent of my struggles with alcohol, and the permanent consequence I've suffered, and can't make that assumption.

Irregardless, it is clear that there is no room for discussion between us, whether that be because of my ignorance or yours.

Whatever the cause of your problems, I hope you are able to make as much recovery as possible. Best of luck on your journey.


--------------------


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OfflineVP123
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Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron]
    #27083944 - 12/11/20 12:38 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

I hope you can overcome such bad experience. It sounds like you will need someone to help you go through this. Mushrooms have been very helpful to some of us. I can't imagine how I could have gone through depression without them. None of the medications I was given did a damn thing to improve my mental state. Your sharing of this experience will be helpful as a cautionary tale for those who want to explore this medicine.

Quote:

Arron said:
There should be a strong wraning that their use can cause psychosis & other permanent negative changes to mental health.




Actually, you can find such warnings when looking into their use. I was well aware of the potential for bad trips and that they can actually elicit psychotic episodes in some people. They are not recommended for people whom, themselves or close family members, may have a history of certain mental conditions. I'm surprised you did not find this in all the reading you did. Is it possible you saw this but ignored it and only paid attention to the potential benefits?

Quote:

Arron said:
About one month later I took a 5 gram dose.




Going from a barely noticeable effect to a full heroic trip is never advisable (from 1 g to 5 g).

Quote:

Arron said:
I took them again (6 times?) at a similar dose, several months apart....

My dreams became more vivid/ lucid & frequent after these experiences. I would often wake over 20 times a night to record my dreams in a journal...




It is normally recommended to integrate the experience before embarking on the next trip. Here it seems like, in spite of having bad experiences you kept taking them. No mental and emotional preparation before taking mushrooms?

Quote:

Arron said:
Another time it was as though the stars were talking to me....




I've had all kinds of weird experiences. Deities presenting before me. Images of myself in times and places I've never been, etc. But after the trip I come to the conclusion that everything was in my mind. The psilocybin just mimics neurotransmitters that amplify what is already in my mind. One just takes what is useful in the experience. Not a good idea to ruminate on the negative.

Quote:

Arron said:
They were trying to make me have children, I think because I am aware of the damage being done to our DNA by radiation from cell-phones, cell towers, WiFi etc.
I had been living in the country for many years, away from this radiation....I lived by a lake in the mountains for some months, also s cave in the bush.


At some time after this I stopped playing along with their plan for me to have children. Because they had (physically) RAPED me.




You seem to gravitate towards conspiracy theories. And it seems like those are scaring you. Being afraid about something as ubiquitous as the electromagnetic field from cell phones and WiFi is not a good state of mind to be in. And these will be greatly amplified with psychedelics.

You also say they physically raped you. I hope you find the help you need. And as mentioned by Corundum, it may not be a good idea to seek such help in a place you barely know.


But we appreciate your sharing of this bad experience. Hopefully it will be useful to many people who want to explore the use of these medicines.

And as many people here will agree on, when properly used, mushrooms can help. For me, they brought a much needed relief from some very deep depression I was going through. At some point it was so bad, I could barely do the minimum expected from me in my job. I took a leap of faith and used them because I was beginning to get suicidal thoughts very frequently. Now, thanks to the mushrooms they are gone.

I hope you don't get too upset because we express disagreement. If you have close friends or family  members you can trust, talk to them. Sometimes a second opinion from someone close to us is necessary in order to see through our confusion. Sometimes they have to push us through this confusion even if we do not see it that way at the moment.


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OfflineInnerWisdom
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Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron]
    #27083981 - 12/11/20 01:06 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Arron said:
Has anyone read his Terrance Mckennas book. "The invisible Landscape"?
They talk about being in a permanent trip like state from magic mushrooms.
It is widely accepted that once you have taken them, they continue to effect you (always).
They can cause permanent changes to how your brain works.

Has anyone else noticed a significant change in their dreams content & experience after taking mushrooms?

I think what it means when people say "mystical" experience, is that they do not know what is really happening.
We do not know what mushrooms are.

What I mean when I say any dose is unsafe, is that they cause permanent effects/ changes.(possibly at any dose).
And you cannot trust that this will be a positive change.
They lied to me at low doses.

To Socrateshroom; comparing my abuse from mushrooms to becoming a father is insulting.

"we know a thimbullfull about pscychedelics and that thimbull you could throw away" - Terrance McKenna.



Balls!
Don't believe this shit. That permanent negative changes are probable for you.
You are mostly being affected by FEAR right now. Not the mushrooms.
For the vast majority, myself included, mushroom use doesn't cause permanent weird changes or anything worrying.
More like permanent slow changes for the better.
No need to be afraid my man.

of course you can have negative experiences.
You are going through some tough times now. It will pass.


Edited by InnerWisdom (12/11/20 01:08 PM)


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OfflineInnerWisdom
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Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron]
    #27083985 - 12/11/20 01:08 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Arron said:
I am having an extremely bad experience from magic mushrooms. I will try to post the report here.
The link is not working.
You can find it on my Facebook page; /Lester.harvey.1865



don't post about mushroom use on facebook


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InvisiblecoAsTal
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Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron] * 1
    #27084644 - 12/11/20 07:48 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

:trollz:


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OfflineArron
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Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: coAsTal]
    #27085015 - 12/12/20 04:22 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

I would like to know what you think the mushrooms are?
Do you find that many people become obsessed about them?
(For me this is what happened).
From my experience with mushrooms, and the way they changed the content of my dreams,
Christian themed, & visions of Christ,
They are the "forbidden fruit of knowledge" from the bible.


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OfflineMalkuthian
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Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron]
    #27085039 - 12/12/20 05:01 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Arron said:
They are the "forbidden fruit of knowledge" from the bible.



I could agree with that.
Knowledge was forbidden by the leader who wanted a unanimous flock, because knowledge prevents him from leading them. The flock needs to be stupid and cannot think for themselves.

Eating the fruit makes you aware, and less likely to follow predetermined doctrines.
By doing that it shifts the responsibility or your life towards yourself. As a individual, rather than a pawn in someone else's game, you will have to carry your own weight.


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OfflineArron
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Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Malkuthian]
    #27085408 - 12/12/20 10:10 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

From my experience they are forbidden because they can destroy your sense of self and free will.
There are other ways of finding out what is going on. Or thinking for yourself, than taking mushrooms.

To quote Terrance again, to say; " The mushroom said to me...."
Is not thinking for yourself.


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InvisiblecoAsTal
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Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron] * 4
    #27085440 - 12/12/20 10:26 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Thanks, crusader against mushrooms, for coming onto a mushroom site to enlighten us about the evil wicked mushroom.

:goodluckwiththat2:


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Invisible4HO-DMT
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Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron] * 1
    #27085476 - 12/12/20 10:50 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Arron said:
From my experience they are forbidden because they can destroy your sense of self and free will.





:rolleyes:

Did you pay attention to what you read in the books that you quoted?  The psychedelic explorer's guide, is by James Fadiman, btw, not Tim Leary.  But, the psychedelic experience by Leary is a good book to read on the topic too. Both of those books emphasize the importance of set and setting. From reading your posts, it appears that you did not pay attention to set and setting.  It can have a huge effect on the outcome of a trip. I don't know what to tell ya man. Mushrooms can be a great tool for self exploration. However, if used in the wrong situations, without experience, etc. They can be vicious.  I hope you figure out your problem and get well. But, it's not the mushrooms fault...


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OfflineArron
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Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: 4HO-DMT]
    #27085591 - 12/12/20 11:51 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

I cannot recall exactly the names and authors of the books I read.
The one you ae referring to was based on
The Tebetin Book of The Dead.
I was in a relaxed state, safe quiet places, alone in the mountains.
What has happened to me is a direct result of the mushrooms.

I'm not sure how to add a link to a YouTube clip.
Search for;

"A single Pscilocybin trip, Jordan Peterson talks to Dr Roland Griffiths"

To quote; "permanent personality transformations,
(neurological & pschological changes)
+ 10% chance with Pscilocybin of a trip to HELL.


Edited by Arron (12/12/20 11:54 AM)


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Invisible4HO-DMT
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Re: Magic mushrooms RAPED me. [Re: Arron]
    #27086403 - 12/12/20 08:27 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Arron said:
... I'm not sure how to add a link to a YouTube clip.
Search for;

"A single Pscilocybin trip, Jordan Peterson talks to Dr Roland Griffiths"

To quote; "permanent personality transformations,
(neurological & pschological changes)
+ 10% chance with Pscilocybin of a trip to HELL.




Eh, that's absurd.  Don't believe everything you see on the internet.


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