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OfflineRenegadeMycologist
On the case
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Registered: 12/05/20
Posts: 3,817
Loc: Serbia Flag
Last seen: 8 days, 11 hours
Tell me INSANE jokes
    #27082314 - 12/10/20 02:25 PM (3 years, 1 month ago)

Title says it all.
Soon I will have 50 posts on shroomery and i will give 5 star rating to the person who delivers me most INSANE joke.
Then i will share that joke with my mother.
Go ahead.


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:mushroom2:  l e a r n i n g  t h i n g s :mushroom2:


Edited by RenegadeMycologist (12/10/20 02:26 PM)


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Offlinewrestler_az
PsiLLy BiLLy
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Registered: 08/11/02
Posts: 13,676
Loc: day dreams of a mad man
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Re: Tell me INSANE jokes [Re: RenegadeMycologist] * 1
    #27082362 - 12/10/20 02:45 PM (3 years, 1 month ago)

i would, but the voices say it's a trap.


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how's your WOW?





  Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM) 


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OfflineKmacmo
The aborted pin
Other


Registered: 08/14/19
Posts: 1,675
Loc: Central hemisphere
Last seen: 6 hours, 41 minutes
Re: Tell me INSANE jokes [Re: wrestler_az]
    #27082422 - 12/10/20 03:11 PM (3 years, 1 month ago)

Why is Santa's sack so large?
Because he only comes once a year


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Invisibleunam sanctum
 User Gallery

Registered: 04/20/11
Posts: 6,702
Re: Tell me INSANE jokes [Re: RenegadeMycologist]
    #27082465 - 12/10/20 03:34 PM (3 years, 1 month ago)

which three two letter words mean small?


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Offlinegopher
Coffee Bean Extraordinaire
I'm a teapot


Registered: 11/22/17
Posts: 12,999
Loc: Canada Flag
Last seen: 2 hours, 16 minutes
Re: Tell me INSANE jokes [Re: unam sanctum]
    #27082466 - 12/10/20 03:36 PM (3 years, 1 month ago)

go on it


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For most of the normies out there, an operating system is just a bootloader for Google Chrome.

Since Disney has obtained tremendous value from the public domain, knows how important the public domain is, and is firmly determined to never contribute anything to it.

My pronouns are He and Him, and my adjectives are Fat and Jazzy

:kratom:


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Invisibleunam sanctum
 User Gallery

Registered: 04/20/11
Posts: 6,702
Re: Tell me INSANE jokes [Re: gopher]
    #27082469 - 12/10/20 03:37 PM (3 years, 1 month ago)

is it in*


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InvisiblefeeversM
Male


Registered: 12/28/10
Posts: 8,546
Loc: Flag
Re: Tell me INSANE jokes [Re: RenegadeMycologist]
    #27082480 - 12/10/20 03:41 PM (3 years, 1 month ago)

My girlfriend stopped talking to me right when I started taking my schizophrenia meds.


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Invisiblesplit_by_nine
i am the liquor

Registered: 07/11/18
Posts: 21,288
Re: Tell me INSANE jokes [Re: RenegadeMycologist] * 1
    #27082527 - 12/10/20 04:10 PM (3 years, 1 month ago)

How can you tell if your wife is dead?

The sex is the same but the dishes start piling up.


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🐴:poop:
hpoo or die


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OfflineBANANA.MAN
Turd Ferguson
Male
Registered: 01/11/15
Posts: 7,474
Loc: Ontario Canada
Last seen: 6 months, 2 days
Re: Tell me INSANE jokes [Re: split_by_nine]
    #27082667 - 12/10/20 05:12 PM (3 years, 1 month ago)

Two gay guys go camping.

Tent catches on fire.

Who gets out first, top or bottom?

Bottom. He already has his shit packed.

Not really insane but it's the only joke short enough to bother writing down that I can think of off the top of my head.


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Offlineblackhawk
Newton's Law of Majesticity
I'm a teapot


Registered: 04/02/11
Posts: 8,465
Loc: Where Jimmies are Rustled
Last seen: 4 hours, 39 minutes
Re: Tell me INSANE jokes [Re: BANANA.MAN]
    #27082876 - 12/10/20 07:29 PM (3 years, 1 month ago)

I saw a girl walking down the street that I fucked years ago, so I ran up behind her, covered her eyes and whispered, “Guess who… I took your virginity…

“She said, “Dad?”

“Dad?” I replied, staggering back in disgust. “You lost your virginity to your dad?”

She turned round and said, “Oh… It’s you… I told you that you were my first because I was ashamed of what happened with my…”

“I don’t want to hear it,” I interrupted. “Fuck you, and your dad.”

As I walked off, I turned round and shouted, “Tell him Uncle Tony won’t be coming round this Christmas.”


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OfflineBANANA.MAN
Turd Ferguson
Male
Registered: 01/11/15
Posts: 7,474
Loc: Ontario Canada
Last seen: 6 months, 2 days
Re: Tell me INSANE jokes [Re: blackhawk] * 1
    #27082923 - 12/10/20 08:05 PM (3 years, 1 month ago)

A baby seal walks into a bar

Bartender asks what he wants to drink

The seal pup sits down looking over his shoulder and nervously says "I'll take anything but a Canadian club"



A cow and her calves are out in a pasture, one calf asks her mom how she got her name. Her mother says when she was born a rose pedal fell onto her head so she named her Rose.

"What about me?" another calf asked, and the mother said when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head so she named her Daisy.

The third calf went "DUUUUUUH, I like straws and hats. DERRR."

And the mother yells "Shutup, Cinderblock!"


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Offlinekoods
Ribbit
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Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,049
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 19 minutes, 45 seconds
Re: Tell me INSANE jokes [Re: BANANA.MAN] * 1
    #27082956 - 12/10/20 08:25 PM (3 years, 1 month ago)

Donald Trump


--------------------
NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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InvisibleIcyurmt
Strange
 Unread Journal


Registered: 04/02/20
Posts: 1,625
Loc: 5a
Re: Tell me INSANE jokes [Re: koods]
    #27083058 - 12/10/20 09:19 PM (3 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

koods said:
Donald Trump



Nailed it 😂


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👁️ 🌊 why you are empty.

Hunt for the habitat not the mushroom.


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OfflineGreenHorns
some kind of boogin
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Registered: 10/03/12
Posts: 3,798
Loc: R'lyeh
Last seen: 10 months, 18 days
Re: Tell me INSANE jokes [Re: Icyurmt] * 2
    #27083278 - 12/11/20 12:14 AM (3 years, 1 month ago)

Why do ladies wear makeup and perfume?

Because thier ugly and they smell bad.


--------------------




As the spark of the dream ignites a flame of desire all we have is time and all to do is admire

Spawning to Bulk Substate TEK

General Myco Info / FAQ / Terminology


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OfflineLoaded Shaman
Psychophysiologist
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Registered: 03/02/15
Posts: 8,006
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Re: Tell me INSANE jokes [Re: RenegadeMycologist]
    #27083317 - 12/11/20 12:47 AM (3 years, 1 month ago)

Guy goes to the brothel and says to the Madame, "I want something really kinky."

Madame says, "No problem, $100, first door on the left."

Guy walks in the room - in which there's only a chicken - and says, "Well I guess I asked for it, I'll do the chicken."

Guy comes back next week and says, "The chicken was okay but give me something different but still kinky."

Madame says, "No problem, $200, second door on the left."

Guy walks in and there's other guys watching two lesbians make love behind a two way mirror.

Chicken guy says to the guy next to him, "This is amazing ... I've never seen anything like it."

Other guy says, "This is nothing. You should have been here last week. Some guy was fucking a chicken!"


--------------------



"Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance." — Confucius


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OfflineIce9
3X Ban Lotto Champion
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 03/20/14
Posts: 11,232
Loc: daterapeville,USA
Last seen: 1 hour, 9 minutes
Re: Tell me INSANE jokes [Re: Loaded Shaman]
    #27083322 - 12/11/20 12:53 AM (3 years, 1 month ago)

A priest, a Rabbi and an Atheist walk into a bar. They all turn into Bose-Einstein condensates.

Hope that's insane enough, or I misinterpreted your use of all caps insane.


--------------------
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man. -- George Brenard Shaw


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Offlineyeah
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Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 3,729
Last seen: 1 month, 21 days
Re: Tell me INSANE jokes [Re: RenegadeMycologist] * 1
    #27083335 - 12/11/20 01:15 AM (3 years, 1 month ago)

Free Palestine?
I'll take two!


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InvisibleBarnaby
Interesting lifetime
Male

Registered: 12/13/17
Posts: 9,136
Re: Tell me INSANE jokes [Re: RenegadeMycologist]
    #27083354 - 12/11/20 01:41 AM (3 years, 1 month ago)

Take a space x flight.



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Offlineblessed


Registered: 07/16/11
Posts: 1,085
Loc: ation: Tasmania Flag
Last seen: 13 days, 10 hours
Re: Tell me INSANE jokes [Re: Barnaby]
    #27084379 - 12/11/20 05:19 PM (3 years, 1 month ago)

Maybe more of a insanely dad joke but here's two for you.

Where did they find Saddam Hussein cd collection?

In a rack.


And one one Saddam Hussein joke.

While being interrogated, he was asked, "Saddam you've done a lot of bad things, is there anything you would not do?".  Saddam Hussein replies,

"Yes, I'd never bag dad".


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