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Grapefruit
Freak in the forest


Registered: 05/09/08
Posts: 5,744
Last seen: 3 years, 1 month
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Fulfilling your obligations to others
#27072982 - 12/05/20 06:11 AM (3 years, 1 month ago) |
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What if I don't want to stay connected to friends? Do you feel I have an obligation to them to let them know what's up and stay in touch? Sometimes I just feel like dropping all that and living as a hermit consequences be damned. Like it would be nice to just disentangle myself. The dissonance I experience over this can be pretty extreme, puts me in a paranoid mood. Is it some set of god given directives I have to follow or is all that just an invention of fear? 
How do you approach your relationship obligations, you feel like you have any, what's up with this?
-------------------- Little left in the way of energy; or the way of love, yet happy to entertain myself playing mental games with the rest of you freaks until the rivers run backwards. "Chat your fraff Chat your fraff Just chat your fraff Chat your fraff"
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,532
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Re: Fulfilling your obligations to others [Re: Grapefruit]
#27073086 - 12/05/20 08:06 AM (3 years, 1 month ago) |
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if things need doing I like to address them first. but I am very local. I am keeping a small apartment neat as a pin. if I commit to helping someone or fetching something, I make sure I get the time slot right, and I do it with awareness.
During Covid it is easy to say "goodbye for now", and hide away again.
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Rahz
Alive Again



Registered: 11/10/05
Posts: 9,230
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Re: Fulfilling your obligations to others [Re: Grapefruit]
#27073326 - 12/05/20 10:58 AM (3 years, 1 month ago) |
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"Nothing personal but I need some time to myself" so you don't leave someone hanging. A good friend will be cool with it.
-------------------- rahz comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace "You’re not looking close enough if you can only see yourself in people who look like you." —Ayishat Akanbi
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Yellow Pants


Registered: 05/14/17
Posts: 1,386
Loc:
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Re: Fulfilling your obligations to others [Re: Rahz]
#27073674 - 12/05/20 02:29 PM (3 years, 1 month ago) |
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I’m going to take a wild guess and say it comes from culture and society and conditioning. Sure it may be for good reason or maybe it isn’t. I personally do not have a formula.
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Socrateshroom
сталкер


Registered: 09/05/18
Posts: 1,840
Loc: Westworld
Last seen: 17 days, 10 hours
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Re: Fulfilling your obligations to others [Re: Yellow Pants]
#27080422 - 12/09/20 12:29 PM (3 years, 1 month ago) |
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I believe we have an obligation to the world. But the best way we can tend to that obligation is by tending to the obligations we have to ourselves and those within our immediate socio-emotional sphere.
Do you have an obligation to your friends? Well, that depends. What is the substance of those friendships? Is there a mutual understanding of trust and reliance, to a healthy degree, on one another? Or is it a mere "acquaintance" masquerading as a friendship?
It depends on you to make those calls. You are not obliged to explain to everyone anything. But I do believe we have obligations to those we've made an unspoken social pact/contract with.
I know what it feels like. Many times I want to just disintegrate into the greater reality, or hideaway in the mountains where no one dare go. But I think this is more a defense mechanism of my ego than a true yearning. Plus, I'd not survive a week alone in the mountains.
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