Wow.
The heroic dose is a term that references Terence McKenna's suggestion to eat five dried grams. He often said the problem with people taking mushrooms is not taking enough.
I have past experience tripping but this was not a journey I was not going to take lightly. I did research (thank you for guys like Michael Pollan, Paul Stamets, etc), spent hours listening and reading stories, and prepared like I was going to take the biggest exam of my life.
When the day came, I took 5 dried grams. Four days later I took 4 dried grams and 1 dried gram a few hours later to extend the experience. Both trips were DRASTICALLY different and it's stunning how much so. I have little doubt in my mind I came in contact with a consciousness that transcends us individuals. It humbled me, it taught me, it laughed with me, it told me about itself, it provided spectacular visions, it provided answers to questions, and together we made plans for the future.
Here is my story.
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Come ups:
While coming up, for fun, I whistled Negan's savior whistle to let 'em know I was coming with questions, theories, doubts, and more. I have tripped before and have read hours upon hours of counter-arguments to conclusions I came with and doubts about the entity being an entity itself. Although I was worried about it, I wanted to let it know (if there was anything there), I was no ordinary visitor and I was coming prepared and ready and I was going to take easy answers.
The 5 dried gram come-up and the 4 dried gram come-up were pretty different. The 5 dried gram come-up was more intense, however the 4 dried experience was heavy hitting after the come-up and throughout much of the experience longer.
The 5 dried gram come-up lasted about 3 hours, which is pretty crazy considering that is the extent of some people's trips! The 4 dried gram one was about an hour shorter.
Peaking:
I'm not sure about you guys, but when I 'switch' from coming up to peaking, it is an intense experience. It is almost like a cosmic switch because it happens so fast. It's as if I look around and I'm like "okay, we're here."
With the 5 dried gram experience, the 'switch' was awe-inspiring. I was so blown away by what I was feeling and witnessing that for a brief moment I thought I met God. But in my head I kept remembering Terence McKenna's advice "do not give into astonishment." I kept telling myself that and I went further into the experience and found out more. Yes, this was a transcedental consciousness but it was more complicated then that. It was connected to the nature of Earth, the ecosystem, the planet itself. It was here for many millenia and has been involved with life and death. It doesn't know everything, but it has more answers then the grains of sand on the planet.
During the 5 dried gram 'switch', it was pretty intense mentally and even physically. I was witnessing pain, feeling it, thinking it. I mentioned this aspect in another thread, I had a pre-historic vision. I saw a baby dinosaur in a tree's nest only for it to be snatched by a pterodactyl type bird (not as large). I felt the pain mentally and felt pain in the area of the body it got snatched. The consciousness told me that I can come back to this experience (5 gs) and get answers I am looking for, but at a cost. The cost of admission is feeling the pain of others, seeing it, and for you to use your abilities to tell stories of those that cannot. This is one of the reasons you are here.
When I did the 4 dried grams afterwards, I wanted to reflect on that because I largely dismissed the idea of 'destiny' for the lack of better words. It conflicts with the idea of free will and potential and it absolutely makes me uncomfortable. But when I spoke with the entity again, it clarified (by speaking through an elephant in a painting on my wall). I saw the elephant's beautiful eyes and then have its life taken before it by poachers. It spoke and said "please tell our stories." In retrospect, knowing what I do and how I am, it was asking me in return. I will.
While peaking on the 4 dried grams, I was thinking about...finance!? Yes, finance. I never thought I'd think about THAT on this amount of psychadelics. Well, one worry on my mind lately has been finances and saving. I want to quality for a mortage in 3-4 years and I wanted to make a plan. With the income I have currently, we made a financial plan to do so. Finance and math while I was so loaded I couldn't even sit up? Wow.
The overall experience:
After the peak, both experiences were DRASTICALLY different. The 5 dried gram trip was largely about making sense of what was happening and integrating that with my past experiences. What confused however was, it wasn't very visual. There wasn't many patterns and many of the things I love about psychadelics. I was confused.
However, when I did the 4 dried gram experience? WOAH did it really feel like 'LSD' in a sense. VERY visual, patterns everywhere coming from all points and it was MUCH more psychadelic. I realized the consciousness is like a composer at these high levels of tripping. It will provide what you need when you need it. It knew I had a plan to trip more then once that week, so it clearly made a plan. Insane.
I'll never forget sitting on my couch and literally have ontology and meaning raining down from everything I looked at, everything I saw.
At one point, the consciousness showed me a tree canapopy, advaned and beautiful. It had 'domes' where people could go into, and the consciousness would have its way with them for several hours. It would go in them, their flesh, their thoughts, their ideas, and transform them with meaning and love and knowledge. This was THEIR version of a spa. The intense psychadelic 5 dried gram experience. I will draw what I saw one day and I apologize if I am not explaining it in a way you cant visualize yourself. My goal during these experiences is to try and explain everything I see and experience to the best ability I can.
The visions were incredible. I am working on a digital painting and I wanted to take it to the next level. When I was on my bed with my eyes closed, I could visualize it PERFECTLY and I was able to paint in my head as if I was doing it on my tablet, but the next level. It was adding and adding elements to it and transforming it before my very eyes. I couldn't believe it, it was dazzling. It was also hard hitting at one point. Remember how I mentioned doing the Negan whistle before swinging by big ego around? While I was on the couch and gravity was OVERWHELMING me, it showed me Negan getting grabbed, thrown to the ground, and having a foot on its neck. I felt that and it was essentially responding to that little stunt I pulled earlier. Curb stomped, oof.
It even shared humor. A few previous trips I exited wondering why so much of the experience was about the mushroom or the consciousness itself. Then I recalled that, that was one of my WRITTEN intentions, to learn more about it. How could I forget? I looked on the floor and faces formed saying "you asked" "you asked" you asked" "you asked" you asked." It was funny and hard hitting.
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I could go on and on but I am not going to bore you guys with a novel! It was such a profound experience that I have taken so much away from. Thank you for reading.
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