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InvisibleBarnaby
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Registered: 12/13/17
Posts: 5,758
Re: Former YouTube Engineer Enters No-Contest Plea In Acid-Fueled Bodega Bay Rampage [Re: Barnaby]
    #27096976 - 12/19/20 04:02 AM (29 days, 22 hours ago)

That is what is so strange about alcohol and pills.  Nourishment as well as what one puts i ones body with food and water.  I feel clear but it will fade in and out.  Not like an acid trip or such.

I feel a clarity.  In an esoteric state beyond the positive vibe of, stop worrying everything will be alright which it will, just the question.

Felt like a fish being drawn back to some hook but I don't sense that is your intention at all.

I don't bullshit and I don't act.  Integrity has value.  So believe me that in Utah with drug free zones living in a condo at the time with my Grandma 12 or 14 years ago, I hate it when they want you to give exact dates, it doesn't matter.

Brother calls from a meth dealers house that is tapped by the N.E.T., Narcotics Enforcement Taskforce.  And I was planning on going to a movie and had no interest which my brother new but did it for his "friend" dealer. 

So I say no but then they know I have 7, yes 7 hits of lsd, squares.  And they get a warrant and say, we will tear this place apart unless you give it to us.  With my Grandma in there and they new that.  So I went to my cabinet, they took my late grandfathers antique pistol that doesn't work and was never brought to my hearing, surprise, surprise, was a keepsake but what the fuck do they care?

And these 20 somethings at the time just act all friendly and great after I give them the 7 squares of lsd and they handcuff me down the stairs where my room was in front of my Grandma on the couch.  Will never forget that.

So they pull my brother over in a car and he eats his acid.  So they can't charge him with it though he fucked me over for this meth dealing violent asshole.  So we are in a holding cell at County with a slew of others and he is tripping and I am going off on him verbally for this. 

Dad bails us out in time and he is dead now, but always was loyal to some degree but never really there if you get that.  And I was deemed a threat to flee since I worked at a Starbucks at the SLC international airport and flew off to Santa Cruz which was a good time.  Fucked my dad over but he was making good money at the time. 

Then I realized the cloud of that presence of "the long arm of the law" and I went back and turned myself in.  I didn't want to live under that feeling of that anytime someone checked my ID I would be arrested and sent back to Utah.  Mormons, if you are a part of them great, if not, you are fucked with the laws and who they elect and all the bullshit they do.

So yeah, I could go on but like I said before, these are really shitty feelings and gave me complete lack of trust in the government and many in society that blindly follow it ignorant as sheep to a slaughter. 

Hard won wisdom.  Not proud of it, just glad my girlfriend was their at that time.  At my hearing and I felt here love and still do.  It is a corrupt system and I forgive my brother and the NET.  I just don't ever fuck people over, ever.  And I don't get how people do when they have a wisdom and knowledge and use it for power and destroy people or to lesser degrees.  I had my suicide attempts.  Grass isn't greener if one chooses to, I know this.  Delve into the spiritual realms, you will get it.

Wow, can see why I didn't want to type all this out before as I am crying as I write it.  It caused so much damage in me and to many others in life that have, and have meant a lot to me.  So there it is.

And yes.  I enjoy my beer and k-pins.  Not to escape that but it never leaves one, those experiences, and it hurts.  Still I don't give a shit what people think.  Just want to be left alone.  You shine your light and the darkness wants and does to so many people shut it down. 

But I get it, and it bothers many people that I do get it, take enough esoterics and you get when people get it and it makes them uncomfortable with the parts in their lives that are fake and phoney.

Comedy and absurdity is healing to me.  As that is what life is.


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InvisibleHolybullshit
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Registered: 01/06/19
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Re: Former YouTube Engineer Enters No-Contest Plea In Acid-Fueled Bodega Bay Rampage [Re: Barnaby]
    #27097223 - 12/19/20 09:53 AM (29 days, 16 hours ago)

I feel ya, I've had some eerily similar experiences myself.

But it sounds like you made it worse on yourself by running, don't know what the courts in your jurisdiction are like but even around here in what were red parts of GA(now pink) during that time period with a half decent lawyer you would have been walking away from that with nothing but probation if you didn't have a record. Nowadays even a public defender would be all you'd need.

Not that I am trying to defend LEO but narcotic taksforces(whatever name they carry from place to place), the one that fucked me was called COBRA, are hardly representative of the rest of LEO, and LEO is a tiny sliver of what constitutes "government". My lawyer at the time, who was still a sitting judge in another county(and former prosecutor in mine), readily admitted that narcotics officers were a bunch of dirty, lying, POS. And just looking at the many hats worn by my lawyer should tell you what a racquet the criminal justice system is.

But, at least democracy gives us a chance of making things better, you turn against that(which is exactly what most "small government" types are doing) and you undoubtedly end up with some form of fascism, and less freedom, not more.

Quote:

“The liberty of a democracy is not safe if the people tolerated the growth of private power to a point where it becomes stronger than the democratic state itself. That in its essence is fascism: ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or any controlling private power.” - FDR




Edited by Holybullshit (12/19/20 10:10 AM)


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Offlinesonoramo
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Registered: 02/27/19
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Re: Former YouTube Engineer Enters No-Contest Plea In Acid-Fueled Bodega Bay Rampage [Re: Barnaby]
    #27098176 - 12/19/20 07:51 PM (29 days, 6 hours ago)

As I wrote before, my first thought is "Ouch!" Sorry to hear how this happened, grateful for the opportunity to learn from your story.


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Invisiblevandago
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Re: Former YouTube Engineer Enters No-Contest Plea In Acid-Fueled Bodega Bay Rampage [Re: RobZombie68]
    #27101511 - 12/21/20 09:22 PM (27 days, 4 hours ago)

Quote:

RobZombie68 said:
When someone gets violent and ugly on any drug, they have violence and ugliness in their soul.  Drugs just open that door.





This kind of dumb stereotype thinking is just as dangerous as any other type of stereotype drug association. You're not a doctor. Or a shaman.


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InvisibleNiffla
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Registered: 06/09/08
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Re: Former YouTube Engineer Enters No-Contest Plea In Acid-Fueled Bodega Bay Rampage [Re: Holybullshit]
    #27101619 - 12/21/20 10:17 PM (27 days, 3 hours ago)

Quote:

Holybullshit said:
Gotta agree with Barnaby here...how did you come up with that number?

Do half the number of people who try psychedelics, without any education, have nightmarish experiences on them? No.

In experiments with subjects who are psychedelic naive end in nightmarish experiences? No, nothing resembling that.

Do even frat bros who are just looking to get "fucked up" end up with nightmarish experiences? No.

So why would the general population be any different? Especially after being educated, taking a metered and moderate dose, and seeking the medical benefits or a transcendent experience.

Do you really think you are "special" for enjoying and appreciating psychs?? Reality check, you're not.




You're right, the number was pure speculation on my part. It may not be half, I don't know what the number is, but I just feel like it's something that at the very very minimum needs to be looked into pretty extensively before trying. With set & setting being emphasized strongly. Maybe it's just the people that I've mostly been around in my life that lead me to believe a decent percentage of the general public would not be ready for it without at minimum some level of real education on psychedelics in general.

Bad trips are pretty common in the world of psychedelics -- we can agree on that, right? Would you say that bad trips are unusual or uncommon? And there's a reason why so many people suggest trip sitters, right? People don't need a weed sitter, a coke sitter, or a <insert pill here> sitter.

No I'm not special, I know that and I hope I didn't imply that. I too was once at a point where I had no experience and was completely unprepared and really just not ready for it. I made bad decisions that led to some pretty rough experiences in my early days of tripping. So obviously I'm not special in that regard.

It just took experience over time and much research on the matter before I reached a point to where I feel as if I can minimize the chances of an unpleasant experience. I'm not saying that I want psychedelics to remain illegal...just that I don't really see how they can just fully open across the board powerful psychedelics like LSD or mushrooms to the entire general public without some sort of rules or protocol to help decrease the likelihood of someone entering an experience without fully knowing what they're going to be in for. It would seem unrealistic to me to just say, hey LSD and mushrooms are legal now, have at it. Just my opinion for whatever it's worth and feel free to disagree.

Thank you for your response as I enjoy the discussion on the matter.


--------------------


Edited by Niffla (12/21/20 10:22 PM)


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InvisibleBarnaby
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Re: Former YouTube Engineer Enters No-Contest Plea In Acid-Fueled Bodega Bay Rampage [Re: sonoramo]
    #27101754 - 12/21/20 11:26 PM (27 days, 2 hours ago)

Like I wrote, at some point, people get people with wisdom about things in life.  Public Defender and of course it is different in every country, but will never forget that public defender and this hispanic youth looking at me before seeing him like an assembly line and that feeling of, I know, it is shit, there is really nothing I can do for you despite my experiences and wisdom.

That will always stick with me and it hurts.  When you want to help someone but one has no power to do so.  On with life.  Am in a good mood.  Just do your best in life and let go of the shit and fakeness of society.  Choose your battles, always liked that advice that actually has had some worth in my life.

Felt nothing for a guy in a different yellow outfit for federal gun charges, vibe was bad.  Not projected of fear just, this is a guy that is better not in society.  On with life as I know it. 



600 Christmas gift from the US of A.  Wonderful.  As much as paid in fines and drug tests and community service, they have a lot to make up for.  I like drugs and I don't fuck people over or society but they sure as hell do.

Sorry doing community service as they call it.  Still makes me laugh that my brothers friend got something like 500 hours of it.  Wow.  Between that and a fulltime job which I think why he just wasn't in county for a long time, no life besides working.

Yeah, night shift guard and female guard made love to this song he liked from Beck just loved the joke, WHERES IT AT!.Guy really loved to yell that out. Was just like, what the fuck?  Bored and horribly paid.  Got that later in life.


Edited by Barnaby (12/21/20 11:40 PM)


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