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Enkidu
"No-Such-Person"
Registered: 07/09/16
Posts: 10,698
Last seen: 8 months, 8 days
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Like i said i am not malicious
I think she is willing to work something out now actually
-------------------- Within You , Without You
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Sugabearcrisp
Not Your Average Bear
Registered: 10/14/19
Posts: 12,549
Loc: maybe I had too much, too fast
Last seen: 57 seconds
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Re: About my daughter [Re: Enkidu] 1
#27070343 - 12/03/20 04:48 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Enkidu
Your daughter is not going to be impacted by this much at all. Kids grow up in spite of it and a 1 year old will not remember this. In my experience they start to establish memories they will keep somewhere mid way through 3. Even then it will be blurry for them.
Now take a deep breath
You love your daughter, you must put aside the hate for her mother. Your one and only focus must be your daughter's well being. You must recognize that hurting her mother will hurt your daughter and acknowledge that you are responsible for that and swear off such thoughts. You must be patient and ask yourself if what you are doing is best for your daughter, let that guide your decision making. Her mother being a petty bitch and showing up to your time late? Deep breath, all that matters is that your daughter is safe and you will see her soon.
I suspect that if you can do this her mother will slowly stop the petty shit as she sees that she isn't getting a rise out of you. You have every right to have a relationship with your child. Family court will always try to make that happen.
You have to also recognize the difference between what you want and what is best for your daughter. You want to see your daughter because she makes you happy, that is for you, that is what is driving the emotion. You need to get to the point where you are doing things for her first and the happiness will come to you.
Best of luck. Deep breaths. Welcome to parenthood
-------------------- This thread has been closed. Reason: Another pub thread No crying in OTD Click
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Enkidu
"No-Such-Person"
Registered: 07/09/16
Posts: 10,698
Last seen: 8 months, 8 days
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Thank you man
I do not hate her mother nor do i want to hurt her
Yes i miss my daughter but my main issue is the worry that not seeing her during this stage will impact her knowing me and trusting me to care for her
You have good advice. Thank you
-------------------- Within You , Without You
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Enkidu
"No-Such-Person"
Registered: 07/09/16
Posts: 10,698
Last seen: 8 months, 8 days
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Re: About my daughter [Re: Enkidu]
#27070439 - 12/03/20 05:50 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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I already pay child support by the way
Always will be more than willing to provide for my children every way i need to
Thank you for the comments and advice everyone
-------------------- Within You , Without You
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Enkidu
"No-Such-Person"
Registered: 07/09/16
Posts: 10,698
Last seen: 8 months, 8 days
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Re: About my daughter [Re: Enkidu]
#27070456 - 12/03/20 06:00 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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But you are right. The important thing is my childs well being and it makes me feel a lot better to know me not seeing her now is not detrimental to our relationship
I just need to remind myself of that i guess
-------------------- Within You , Without You
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Jailbird420
Old Man
Registered: 02/20/19
Posts: 294
Last seen: 10 days, 9 hours
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Re: About my daughter [Re: Enkidu] 1
#27071155 - 12/04/20 03:18 AM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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I have much sympathy for your pain, Enkidu.
Sadly you will have to take this crazy cunt to court if you ever want to maintain your relationship with your daughter.
Be warned!
She very well may do some shady shit in court.
Like, accuse you of molesting your daughter to keep you away forever.
Crazy bitches will do crazy shit.
Quote:
Enkidu said: No drugs.
good
Quote:
Anger yes, at her but she has been equally angry toward me and physically violent and i called the cops on her not long ago because of it
Fuck yeah im angry bro I get angry as fuck. At her.
She drives me fucking insane
When you got the cops involves, you called them on her yes?
Can you get a copy of the police report? This may be handy when you go to court.
Quote:
Enkidu said: At the same time im not malicious
I feel i could and should try to fuck her every which way but i wont.
Don't do anything to her.
I would call a good lawyer today and set up an appt.
Let him know that she may do some crazy shit just out of spite.
Don't contact her again!
Let your lawyer be your only contact with her from here on out.
Quote:
Enkidu said: She wont agree to let me see her more snd she thinks the court will side with her
And she's right.
If you don't mind your P's and Q's you could easily lose your daughter forever.
Getting a good lawyer is, sadly, your only option now.
Quote:
Enkidu said: And she has been physicslly violent toward me
Can you prove this in court?
That would make you look really good and her look really bad.
Quote:
Enkidu said: I think she is willing to work something out now actually
NEVER trust this woman!!
Get a lawyer and get an agreement in writing with her regarding your parental rights.
If not, she will continue to use your kids as a weapon against you.
I'm no lawyer, but I've seen several friends get hosed down by their child's mother when it comes to visitation rights.
Hire a good lawyer and take her to court to settle this issue now before it turns into something nasty.
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Sugabearcrisp
Not Your Average Bear
Registered: 10/14/19
Posts: 12,549
Loc: maybe I had too much, too fast
Last seen: 57 seconds
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Re: About my daughter [Re: Enkidu]
#27071803 - 12/04/20 12:45 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Enkidu said: I already pay child support by the way
Always will be more than willing to provide for my children every way i need to
Thank you for the comments and advice everyone
Hey, so glad what I said made sense to you.
If you are paying child support I would think that you have a court order that should describe what the custody and visitation expectations. You should be able to get that online or in person with the court in which it was filed or with the state child support enforcement agency that is overseeing your support.
Lawyers will tell you that they can work miracles as long as you pay per hour, do as much as you can for yourself and only bring them in when you cant help yourself like court dates.
Good luck again.
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Enkidu
"No-Such-Person"
Registered: 07/09/16
Posts: 10,698
Last seen: 8 months, 8 days
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No we just agreed on an amount and i write her a check
We havent done a single thing involving the courts yet
-------------------- Within You , Without You
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THT
Stranger
Registered: 09/18/12
Posts: 249
Last seen: 2 months, 14 days
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Re: About my daughter [Re: Enkidu]
#27072039 - 12/04/20 02:42 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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RECORD-FUCKING-EVERYTHING
She's loosening up, but she'll probably always work against you; hope for the best, but document everything in case she tries to skip town or some other shady shit. I have a buddy who got a crazy bitch pregnant and he's been fighting her for the past 3 years.
Try to be amiable and polite, NEVER EVER MAKE THREATS, but always document (record audio ideally) any nasty/crazy shit she says to you even if that's not how you normally treat people. You need to get the drop on bitches like this, and you need to take the high road. Unlike any of that feminist bullshit narrative stuff these days would indicate, this is an ACTUAL, STRUCTURAL CASE OF TOTAL SEXISM: the courts default to "don't take a baby away from a mother", so it's an uphill battle for dads, sadly enough. Even if the mother is a no-good fuckwit, if she isn't into hard drugs or violent and crazy, they'll take her side on most things.
Like a poster above said, focus on your love of your daughter, don't let hating the mother consume you. Also, make sure your shit is airtight and that you're able to prove beyond doubt that you're financially, situationally and emotionally stable enough to raise a kid.
Edited by THT (12/04/20 02:57 PM)
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Enkidu
"No-Such-Person"
Registered: 07/09/16
Posts: 10,698
Last seen: 8 months, 8 days
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Re: About my daughter [Re: THT] 1
#27072045 - 12/04/20 02:45 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Thanks ill take this all to heart
She went crazy last pregnancy then she chilled out
So im kinda thinking that will be similar this time
I think things will be ok
I honestly dont think she is going to do anything crazy, once shes no.longer pregnant.
Last time things were worse and they worked out
-------------------- Within You , Without You
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THT
Stranger
Registered: 09/18/12
Posts: 249
Last seen: 2 months, 14 days
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Re: About my daughter [Re: Enkidu]
#27072065 - 12/04/20 03:03 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Yeah I hope so...it's literally a change in neurochemistry and some it affects women differently.
Nevertheless, you're insuring your future with your daughter by keeping something of a shit-file on her mother. Keep it all under wraps as your "Plan B" in case being reasonable and competent aren't enough proof for a courtroom. We're rooting for you! Be a good dad for your daughter above all else and good vibes.
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Enkidu
"No-Such-Person"
Registered: 07/09/16
Posts: 10,698
Last seen: 8 months, 8 days
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Re: About my daughter [Re: THT]
#27072069 - 12/04/20 03:08 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Absolutely man thank you
I honestly dont think she is like that
I think its just mainly a mixture of pregnancy and stress and the issues weve had between each other
Im definitely not perfect ya know
I think she will let me have a relationship with my kids and that is definitely priority one, the wee ones.
Got a lot of shit i need to do personally to prepare to provide
-------------------- Within You , Without You
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Mr.GuessWork
Stranger
Registered: 03/30/13
Posts: 4,563
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Re: About my daughter [Re: Enkidu] 1
#27072262 - 12/04/20 05:08 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Hey man, I have no kids myself, but I do have two divorced parents who fought like cats and dogs for many years but are friendly now that I'm an adult, and I can pass on what I've learned from that now that we're all past it.
If you think your time with your daughter might be threatened, then go see a lawyer to help you address that threat, even if your relationship with your ex is mellowed right now. You don't have to take action, but you can learn about your legal options. You can make an informed decision about what actions you want take to avoid being at your ex's mercy after that. That'll help you protect time with your daughter in the future, and that time matters as much as the present time does. Don't loose sight of that because you're caught up in bullshit with her mom. That bullshit should stay between you and her mom, and leveraging your daughter in that fight is unfair to you and your daughter. Having a legal agreement with your wife will put a 3rd party in the mix incase something like this happens again, and it'll give you a way to help protect you and your daughter to some degree. You should stand up for the time you spend with your daughter and feel no shame for doing it. Both my parents tell me it was worth it, and I agree completely (I love them both to peices). Do it for yourself and for your daughter. It'll set a good example for your kid, and she'll get to see that example and learn from it since you'll be there to help her.
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Enkidu
"No-Such-Person"
Registered: 07/09/16
Posts: 10,698
Last seen: 8 months, 8 days
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I agree, thanks man
-------------------- Within You , Without You
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WhoManBeing
PsychedelicYogi
Registered: 09/01/13
Posts: 3,838
Loc: Oregon
Last seen: 2 days, 22 hours
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Re: About my daughter [Re: Enkidu]
#27073761 - 12/05/20 03:35 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Yeah man. Just got back hanging with her as you advised. Wasn’t all too happy with her either.
Harhar
Be a gentleman.
Best of luck.
-------------------- Hip, hip... WhoRAy!!! Eye was thinking the other day... ahh, thinking never done me no good.
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Enkidu
"No-Such-Person"
Registered: 07/09/16
Posts: 10,698
Last seen: 8 months, 8 days
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That was funny
I always try to do my best to do what i think is right man
I think everything will work out in the end
And if it doesnt, ive been told it aint the end
-------------------- Within You , Without You
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WhoManBeing
PsychedelicYogi
Registered: 09/01/13
Posts: 3,838
Loc: Oregon
Last seen: 2 days, 22 hours
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Re: About my daughter [Re: Enkidu]
#27074253 - 12/05/20 09:19 PM (3 years, 3 months ago) |
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Yea man.
Get all your dockets in a bucket and make what’s best for all involved.
Best of luck.
-------------------- Hip, hip... WhoRAy!!! Eye was thinking the other day... ahh, thinking never done me no good.
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Sugabearcrisp
Not Your Average Bear
Registered: 10/14/19
Posts: 12,549
Loc: maybe I had too much, too fast
Last seen: 57 seconds
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Maybe relationship counciling is the real answer?
If not you should have a court approved agreeement with a mediator in place, a court order if mom is non cooperative.
I will hope for the first though
-------------------- This thread has been closed. Reason: Another pub thread No crying in OTD Click
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TigerStrike
carpophore locator
Registered: 12/22/20
Posts: 315
Last seen: 1 year, 11 months
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Sending you good vibes here. Sorry to bring up a month old post but how you doing over there?
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stzacrack
Stranger
Registered: 05/07/05
Posts: 3,881
Loc: United States
Last seen: 3 days, 12 hours
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Re: About my daughter [Re: Enkidu]
#27127340 - 01/05/21 01:20 AM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
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Take her to court get that shit made official
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