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Anonymous #1
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 This is going to sound egotistical. Sigh. 
#27067074 - 12/01/20 07:50 PM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Can someone please just try and answer these questions and not reply with "Wow you are a liar and so full of yourself"?
I am crazy fucking good at lying to people. I can make people do things. I can get women. I can sell items. I can buy items. I can get my way. All I have to do is lie and bullshit. I stopped doing this a while ago now. Almost 10 years ago. I have found life is fucking painful without lying. People "cheat" me but in reality I know exactly what they are doing and I just refuse to play the game.
I've lost sexual exploits, jobs, promotions, and most tragically a really good girlfriend a few months ago. Simply because I will NOT play "the game". I wont act tougher than I am. I wont act smarter than I am. I wont be modest. I wont do anything except be as 100 percent fucking truthful as I physically can be. And motherfucking "sharks" find that out and use it against me. I could DEVOUR these "sharks". I allow them to win in all these different directions.
And honestly my life is suffering from this.
I'm mildly suicidal. I wont ever do it. But I am very depressed and try and do risky things that will hopefully kill me.
So why the fuck dont I go back to lying? Life was happier back then. Now I got all these fucking worries and shit. I'm not winning anything in any direction. Life is objectively better as a liar.
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Anonymous #2
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Re: This is going to sound egotistical. Sigh. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#27067338 - 12/01/20 10:06 PM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Oh, it's you again. I was wondering when you'd be back around with your monthly 'oh woe is me, I'm so awesome but I can't be so I'm not' thread.
Ignorance is bliss, young friend. Problem is, once you've looked down the rabbit hole deep enough there's no coming back from it, so if there's no going back, how do you move forward?
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Anonymous #1
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Re: This is going to sound egotistical. Sigh. [Re: Anonymous #2]
#27067397 - 12/01/20 11:33 PM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #2 said:
Oh, it's you again. I was wondering when you'd be back around with your monthly 'oh woe is me, I'm so awesome but I can't be so I'm not' thread.
Ignorance is bliss, young friend. Problem is, once you've looked down the rabbit hole deep enough there's no coming back from it, so if there's no going back, how do you move forward?
The forum doesnt mean much to me bro. Especially anon. So I could just make a post saying I sucked a guys dick and it would be fine. So occasionally this gets back on my mind. The dream of going back to the lie world. But everytime I post on here no one takes me seriously lol.
Tell me. Why should I not lie? We are all gonna die and nothing I do matters. So why am I holding on to integrity?
As to your reply. I dont know for sure that I could go back. Perhaps I would be shit at lying now. Or maybe it would take time. But I kinda feel like where I'm at now is super shite.
People keep taking advantage of me. I literally watch what they are doing. I see their manipulation. And because the only way to combat what they are doing is to manipulate back ----- I choose not to and I choose to allow them to take advantage. And it fucks me over man.
Does that not make sense? Do I just sound arrogant? I dont fucking get it. I'm just saying it like it is.
I'm just a dude man. I'd buy you a beer for sure. I'd have your back. I'm a regular person.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: This is going to sound egotistical. Sigh. [Re: Anonymous #2]
#27071894 - 12/04/20 01:18 PM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #2 said:
Oh, it's you again. I was wondering when you'd be back around with your monthly 'oh woe is me, I'm so awesome but I can't be so I'm not' thread.
Ignorance is bliss, young friend. Problem is, once you've looked down the rabbit hole deep enough there's no coming back from it, so if there's no going back, how do you move forward?
Why do you choose to bring someone down when you dont have to?
I try pretty hard to bring everyone up.
What makes us different you reckon?
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Anonymous #2
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Re: This is going to sound egotistical. Sigh. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#27072017 - 12/04/20 02:29 PM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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I don't 'bring someone down'. I also don't 'keep my mouth shut' when someone comes to a group that I'm a part of that is focused on discussion, and proceeds to moan about how great they are, yet what a hard time they're having.
I see many sycophants around here, that will mollycoddle anyone that turns up with a sob story. Personally, I think that does an injustice to all involved, so I'm not about to jump on that gravy train.
Point being, I despise arrogance and admire humility, and you consistently reek of the former and display none of the latter, and I am quite at peace with telling you so.
If you choose to allow that to 'bring you down' then that's really on you. Perhaps if you drop the arrogance you'll see very different responses?
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Anonymous #1
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Re: This is going to sound egotistical. Sigh. [Re: Anonymous #2]
#27072649 - 12/04/20 09:20 PM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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But listen bud. I am anti-manipulation. I find humility and modesty to be a form of manipulation. If I take a hard stance against manipulating that MUST include modesty.
I cannot just come up to you and be like "Oh shucks. I've never driven a manual transmission car before. I'll give it a go." *proceeds to easily get car into first, shift into higher gears, and drive normally*
Also. I am masssssively depressed. I think about death nonstop. I miss people that I've lost. I dont think theres an afterlife. And I dont think whatever I am is great enough to do anything in the world except maybe make enough money for a house and a semi-decent car. Maybe a hot tub.
Everytime I see a positive change in someone I've tried to help. I never know if it was me that helped or not. I try and just think "hopefully I was some aid to this person" and let that be enough for me.
Dude. Its not possible for me to respond to your line of rhetoric without being full of holes. Dont you see that? If you put me in the negative light.... I'll forever burn there. I am telling you. Heart to heart. Soul to soul. I am trying SO FUCKING HARD to tell the truth. But I am fickle. I am a hypocrite. I am broken. A human. You will always be able to point at something and say "AHAH! SEE?!?!?! I told you you suck!" because I do.
You and everyone else.
Dont you think it would be easy for me to just pretend I'm modest? What do you think is making me not pretend to be modest? Do you REALLY think its my ego thats too proud to be modest even for one post on an anonymous forum? How little faith in humanity do you have???
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Anonymous #3
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Re: This is going to sound egotistical. Sigh. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#27072860 - 12/05/20 01:53 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Why not lie?
Because in the end you're only lying to yourself.
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Anonymous #4
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Re: This is going to sound egotistical. Sigh. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#27073097 - 12/05/20 08:15 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Lie your way to the top buddy
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Anonymous #5
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Re: This is going to sound egotistical. Sigh. [Re: Anonymous #4]
#27073518 - 12/05/20 12:54 PM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Mate you might be crazy. Smoke less or more weed depending on lean of problem.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: This is going to sound egotistical. Sigh. [Re: Anonymous #5]
#27073574 - 12/05/20 01:25 PM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Oh I also have a super super bad memory. I forget things almost as they happen a lot. I think my memory has become bad from not lying anymore. Keeping track of all the bullshit I think helps keep memory sharp. Makes me think people with good memories are more likely to be liars.
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Anonymous #6
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Re: This is going to sound egotistical. Sigh. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#27073617 - 12/05/20 01:54 PM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Return to lying your ass off and you too could become president someday
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Anonymous #7
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Re: This is going to sound egotistical. Sigh. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#27073813 - 12/05/20 04:18 PM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Have you ever had a full-blown psyche evaluation? Maybe you are a sociopath.
However, I resonate with your struggles, perhaps because of narcissistic tendencies I have that lead me to believe I am the shit.
But guess fucking what, you are the shit, I am the shit, and everybody can be the fucking shit if they accept it is within them.
For me I have to be careful and honest with myself where I may be crossing the line of self-love and accepting my greatness, and narcissism. You have to take honest analysis of thoughts and think, are these leading from past/current insecurities I have and are stemming in my head? Or are these thoughts stemming from my heart that are rooted in reality and truth.
As far as lying and playing the game. Lying is innate to human nature. I believe having the idea that lying is never okay is ridiculous and absurd, and the pressure to not lie and the guilt that leads anytime you lie is not healthy or ideal or what leads to us realizing our full potential.
I have realized lately how much power I have over people. I also have lately started lying more often than I ever have. But I struggle to fully feel this is bad. Being an attractive person who is charismatic, nice, etc. is not manipulating people. People doing things for me and me getting what I want due to being blessed in life in ways that society has placed value on is not manipulating, but it is playing the game.
And that's all we have to do in this life is play the game. My thing is you can either play the game for yourself, or play the game for everyone. I feel reaching our highest potential can only come from playing the game for everyone. But this doesn't mean we have to lose out on personal gain and the solo campaign mission by doing so. In fact I think its the opposite. The more we come to our truth and find what our truth is, and at times requiring seemingly selfish actions or behaviors (shutting out people, valuing your own time or well-being over someone else's, etc.), the more we help others find their truth and play their game.
The solo mission always leads to better campaign mission success.
So, I am not a psychologist (well actually that was my major), I am not a clinical psychologist. But, I think there is a very good chance that some of your lying is not negative at all and simply you realizing the potential you have to affect your life experience. If it is that serious though, I would also say there is likely some aspects of it that may be stemming from inadequacies of self or unresolved psychological issues.
I do not think you have to either go back to how you were, or not at all, it isn't black and white. I think you should begin evaluating times you are tempted to lie or "manipulate" and see what the intent is stemming from.
Picking up girls is the biggest fucking lie we play and fakest game we play. To get women I certainly am somewhat of a douche (really just confident but with subtle douche haha), seem like I have it all put together, and that the girl means nothing to me.
In reality, I am the biggest fucking teddy bear and cry baby, furthest thing from a douche genuinely, I have a lot going on in my head others don't know about, and my self-perception is why the fuck would any girl be interested in me. If people and my friends knew the extent of this in my head they would be like dog what the fuck.... you're insnae.
An example of lies I think are fine and actually beneficial to accept as okay in your life: You are an athlete and know going to practice is not in your best interest on a given day. You may be physically torn apart from lack of sleep, or what have you, or you may be emotionally drained. You know the only way to get out of practice would be to make something up such as being sick. If you genuinely would not benefit from practice and actually do more harm, rather than you simply being lazy or not wanting to go, I think that is totally okay.
I think not believing it is causes a great deal of stress and harm on others because we are forcing things that are not natural or what is best for us.
A bad lie would be fucking up, making a mistake, or doing harm and not accepting responsibility. Lying to get out of any punishment, need to accept responsibility, or overall to avoid discomfort or pain that might be needed for self growth. This is bad lies.
Lying to manipulate people is another subject. I do not think playing into certain roles or images at times is manipulating people (such as picking up women, or being over the top sweet to get more tips as a waitress). We are constantly evolving and shifting energies, at no point in time being exactly the same. It is okay to play into the game and tap into energies you may have. True manipulation would be lying or behaving in a way to someone in order to get a response from them to satisfy an insecurity, alternative agenda, or materialistic pleasure fulfilment in a way that draws on that persons energy. An personal example for me is making someone feel the need to support me because I was struggling with something that happened, and making them feel obligated to because I was in bad spot, without realizing how toxic and manipulative it was.
The only thing I would say is be careful as it is a tricky and difficult to judge line between being aware of truth and reality, and doing what is most optimal for your self and thus everyone else, vs being egotistical or narcissistic, and causing harm.
Anything that in reality is what is BEST for you and reaching your potential, I believe, is what is best for everyone else as well. Even if at that moment it might not be for someone else. You cant live your life for others because at the end of your life you will have failed to tap into your gifts fully.
I don't think you should be totally ashamed of being able to control people, get what you want, etc. Some people are naturally gifted and it would be a denial of our divine purpose to restrict ourselves from tapping into this side of ourself. Just be sure to be honest with yourself, and try to find the source of your intentions behind things (such as due to insecurities traumas or pleasure seeking of materialsm, or due to natural tendencies and gifts/your purpose such as sex, business success through strong partnership and connections, pleasure such as happiness from experiences (not sourced from phony shit like pornography, excessive junk food, or monetary shit)).
Being honest with ourselves as we play the game is all we can do. And I think the lines society has drawn, although needed at some point to avoid anarchy, are now irrelevant and it is time to break down what we have always believed. Lying, murder, rape, etc. can all be bad things. But I can find scenarios where they arent, many for lying, not so many for murder, and only one I can think of for rape (in order for the continues survival of your species if the other person does not want to. However still unsure about this because would raping them even lead to a birth, and if it did, that doesn't guarantee species survival unless you want to repopulate with a bunch of retards from inbreeding).
Long post, I am cracked out. But I resonate and it was not until recently I changed my views to believing it is okay to lie or get what you what from not being fully honest, because to what extent can we ever say we are being fully honest? We are constantly shifting sacks of energy with profound abilities to manipulate our experience and alter it, why not take advantage of that gift?
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Anonymous #1
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Re: This is going to sound egotistical. Sigh. [Re: Anonymous #7]
#27074423 - 12/06/20 12:21 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quite an inciteful reply. Firstly, thanks for that 
Admittedly though while reading your post all I can think of is its a lot of justification. Not all of what you said. But a good amount atleast sounds like it is. Though I know youre trying your best to define a subject that the majority of the world (clearly as evidence from this post) thinks is super bad, no-no people.
I dont believe I am a sociopath. What I view in most people I believe is similar to how I feel and think. I can have the best argument in the world.... but if someone starts crying in front of me I melt down into nothing and desperately want to help them. I know I cant say for sure "I am not a sociopath" but the evidence seems to point away from that.
I suppose as far as solo campaign goes the only 3 things that are relevant is Family, Girls, and money. (I could be missing something, I havent thought too much into this)
On Family. I used to really want to impress my father. He has since passed. During the years leading to his death I stopped lying and he started making me out as the bad guy. I realized that he, too, was a liar and I wanted him to admit that he was. I believed he was a great man and I thought for sure if I was capable of turning my life around... surely he was too. I gave him so many chances to be the bigger person.... but if I ever gave him a chance to lie and get away with it... he would always take that route. After he passed I stopped caring about my entire family. The only one who mattered was him. Now I am very lost. I have been for years. I wish to god he would come back and just tell me hes sorry. I know he would be sorry if he could see into my brain. I know he isnt a bad person. Just overrun by the muck of life. Wish yall could have met him.
With money.... its ALMOST a requirement to lie. Atleast on surface level things like pretending to smile. I have completely refused to pretend to smile for my current and last few bosses. I take it on a personal ground that pretending to smile is manipulation and I will not take part. It leads to regular berating from my bosses and me having to constantly explain the value of having someone like me in their employ. How I will go out of my way to say anything I have done wrong even if I'm in a situation where it looks as if I did perfect and am getting compliments. I will STILL throw myself under the bus. I work hard and get things done to a very solid degree. Though eventually.... it ends up not being enough. Coworkers start talking shit about me and the boss starts believing the bullshit and I end up quitting because I cant keep taking shit while working harder than everyone else.
I believe my current job will be the last in which I work for someone. I have a decent amount of money saved and plan on opening a business. Buying and selling. Which requires that manipulative salesman mindset that I know I have. It scares the living shit out of me becoming the man I used to be. He overpowers everything and soon I am just taking advantage of some girl that loves me and taking everything for granted and being an asshole to friends and family. Being lazy. Not taking responsibility.
With women I can give an example of a huge problem. I can pick women up and fuck them. I can still do that with my current skillset. All I have to do is act confident (which is easy as fuck for me because all that means is saying the truth). So I literally just go up to women and say "You are very cute in that dress." and that pretty much seals the deal because most men cant even do that. But my issue is when it comes to making a real honest loving relationship.
I'll finally find a girl for example. She will just click in every way. One recently comes to mind. And I'll say things just off the top of my head that are HONEST. "Wow you talk so much like I do. I'm not used to talking to someone who thinks like me." "Wow this is so nice. Being around you is fantastic." and what dawns on me.... this is EXACTLY how other men bullshit women into sleeping with them. But I am saying it fucking honestly. So when it comes down to direct competition.... I think the woman is thinking I am just like every other guy and I plan on dumping them after I fuck them.
So I never fully seal the deal with these "loving" relationships. Not in a long time. I havent had a real beautiful relationship that lasted very long in years. And I care very deeply and need a girl to give the world to. I know thats probably not the correct way to view relationships but I am very cynical. I dont think there are soulmates. I think we just end up with someone that fits and we stay with them.
I dunno. I ranted a lot here.
In summary: I soon will require the old me. I will have my own business that requires a ruthless cutthroat. If I continue being honest perhaps I can make it work though. I definitely will try. But if I end up needing to lie.... what happens if it overpowers me? How utopian to believe that I could lie and cheat for profit and not let that evil seep into my romantic and family life?
(And a message to people who hate me simply for just typing whats in my organic 1's and 0's brain exactly as it is laid out...... I dont think I am going to become some incredibly rich person with this business. I just need it to stay afloat to afford a home and a little bit of luxuries like an occasional lobster dinner or a hobby like making a fast car.)
Also hope yall having a good day
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Anonymous #7
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Re: This is going to sound egotistical. Sigh. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#27074447 - 12/06/20 12:49 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #1 said:
I dont believe I am a sociopath. What I view in most people I believe is similar to how I feel and think. I can have the best argument in the world.... but if someone starts crying in front of me I melt down into nothing and desperately want to help them. I know I cant say for sure "I am not a sociopath" but the evidence seems to point away from that.
I haven't read full reply, I will and will respond soon. But this certainly is very obvious tell tale sign you are no sociopath so that is good haha
Sociopaths are unable to do what you described. Will get to rest and respond soon. I like this.
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Anonymous #8
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Re: This is going to sound egotistical. Sigh. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#27075146 - 12/06/20 11:49 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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might want some therapy. Without knowing the specifics of your life its hard to judge how accurate your self-assessment is, but I'm skeptical that the problem is a lack of lying.
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Anonymous #9
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Re: This is going to sound egotistical. Sigh. [Re: Anonymous #1]  1
#27078882 - 12/08/20 02:48 PM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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I'm still confused why you have concluded you need to lie more. You talk about it like it's an old drug addiction you can't help but get back into 
How and why are you defining modesty and humility as manipulation?? These are totally different concepts.
Manipulation is taking advantage of someone else for personal gain, while ignoring the harm it may do to them or your relationship.
Modesty - the quality or state of being unassuming or moderate in the estimation of one's abilities.
Basically; don't be arrogant. For example, I can play the piano well. Chopin, scott joplin, you name it I could play it. But there's a big difference between being an arrogant douche, going up to someone like "sup babe, I shred the piano cause' I'm a total badass" and being modest. Maybe you don't even have to bring it up. Wait for someone to ask, do you play an instrument? And just be like "ya  find me a piano and I'll play you something."
Neither are lying, one is arrogant, one is modest.
Humility - a modest or low view of one's own importance; humbleness
Now, I don't see how you could possibly object to humility. Once again, not at all connected to manipulation or lying. Humility is what you see when someone has accepted the fact that they are not important.
You already said you believe life is meaningless and your existence has no inherent meaning. If you truly understood what that meant, humility should be inescapable. You are literally an insignificant part of an ever changing ever expanding universe, we are the definition of unimportant. So when you act like God shit out a golden egg and you popped out as his gift to the rest of the universe, it makes you looked arrogant and confused.
Basically, I think your problem in life is that you have a fundamental misunderstanding of humility and modesty, not that you need to lie more.
Edited by Anonymous (12/08/20 02:49 PM)
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Anonymous #2
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Re: This is going to sound egotistical. Sigh. [Re: Anonymous #9]
#27079586 - 12/08/20 09:54 PM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #9 said:
Basically, I think your problem in life is that you have a fundamental misunderstanding of humility and modesty, not that you need to lie more.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: This is going to sound egotistical. Sigh. [Re: Anonymous #9]
#27079839 - 12/09/20 02:56 AM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #9 said:
I'm still confused why you have concluded you need to lie more. You talk about it like it's an old drug addiction you can't help but get back into
How and why are you defining modesty and humility as manipulation?? These are totally different concepts.
Manipulation is taking advantage of someone else for personal gain, while ignoring the harm it may do to them or your relationship.
Modesty - the quality or state of being unassuming or moderate in the estimation of one's abilities.
Basically; don't be arrogant. For example, I can play the piano well. Chopin, scott joplin, you name it I could play it. But there's a big difference between being an arrogant douche, going up to someone like "sup babe, I shred the piano cause' I'm a total badass" and being modest. Maybe you don't even have to bring it up. Wait for someone to ask, do you play an instrument? And just be like "ya find me a piano and I'll play you something."
Neither are lying, one is arrogant, one is modest.
Humility - a modest or low view of one's own importance; humbleness
Now, I don't see how you could possibly object to humility. Once again, not at all connected to manipulation or lying. Humility is what you see when someone has accepted the fact that they are not important.
You already said you believe life is meaningless and your existence has no inherent meaning. If you truly understood what that meant, humility should be inescapable. You are literally an insignificant part of an ever changing ever expanding universe, we are the definition of unimportant. So when you act like God shit out a golden egg and you popped out as his gift to the rest of the universe, it makes you looked arrogant and confused.
Basically, I think your problem in life is that you have a fundamental misunderstanding of humility and modesty, not that you need to lie more.
Couple things. I think we have delved into the semantics world but ill go here a bit.
Also I'm a bit stoned with this chick and havent smoked pot in a LONG time. So bare with me.
I do believe we are nothing and what not. So of course I AM humble before the weight of that. But what the world perceives as humble can vary based off miscommunication.
For example: " I can play the piano well. Chopin, scott joplin, you name it I could play it." could be egotistical or it could be factual. The only thing determining that in its external to you reality is perception.
God I'm getting lost in words here.
"dont be arrogant" How do I tell if I am being arrogant? If one chooses to be EXACTLY truthful.... when they list their achievements they are riding a FINE FINE edge. One way under is a modesty attempt (a lie) and one way is arrogance overdoing it.
fuck im stoned boys. Ill be back.
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Anonymous #3
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Re: This is going to sound egotistical. Sigh. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#27080686 - 12/09/20 03:27 PM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Man, the way you're defining lying is ...strange. and overkill.. Not telling the whole truth is not the same as telling a falsehood. Smiling at your coworkers isn't manipulation, its just called having social skills.
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Anonymous #6
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Re: This is going to sound egotistical. Sigh. [Re: Anonymous #3]
#27081003 - 12/09/20 06:49 PM (3 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous #3 said:Smiling at your coworkers isn't manipulation, its just called having social skills.
I guess it could be manipulation if someone were screwed up enough to get some kicks by "being manipulative" and smiling at someone.
Sounds to me like OP is trying real hard to feel more important than he is. Not to be rude, nobody is important...not more than anyone else anyways
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