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masspan
l'eclair


Registered: 07/26/08
Posts: 5,268
Loc:
Last seen: 3 minutes, 39 seconds
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Re: I'm Coming to terms with the fact that I am a total cunt. [Re: Asante]
#27048397 - 11/20/20 05:48 AM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
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phased cuntlery? could work

seriously though, OP, i doubt you are really a 'cunt', truly crappy people aren't usually aware of how crappy they really are
that being said, it sounds like there is room for improvement if you are questioning your own actions
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my mother said, to get things done, you'd better not mess with Major Tom...whose status is the baddest, everytime 'they' bless the apparatus
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,996
Last seen: 1 hour, 46 minutes
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Re: I'm Coming to terms with the fact that I am a total cunt. [Re: masspan]
#27048638 - 11/20/20 09:41 AM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
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Hahahaha taper off
-------------------- Those content with the least have the most.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011 Ban lotto
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Demonic_Chronic
The Plague Doctress



Registered: 08/10/08
Posts: 4,199
Loc: PNW
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Re: I'm Coming to terms with the fact that I am a total cunt. [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
#27049012 - 11/20/20 01:57 PM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
LogicaL Chaos said:
Quote:
SARAtonin said: Demi-Devil, Demon, Little Gargoyle Girl 
Come by sometime!
https://discord.gg/qWDX9hKj

Perhaps if Demonic_Chronic joined the Discord, her moods might improve 
Fine fine lol
-------------------- The Real violence, the violence that I realized was unforgiveable Is the violence that we do to ourselves When we are too afraid to be, who we really are.
 
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Uzimyco
Searcher of information

Registered: 11/14/20
Posts: 58
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
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Re: I'm Coming to terms with the fact that I am a total cunt. [Re: searching]
#27050113 - 11/21/20 09:15 AM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
searching said: You gave some great advice here and articulate your thoughts well. I totally relate to the type of thinking you and grungeman describe. At least we know we're not alone. What's surprising to me is not everyone thinks like this. Not everyone analyzes the error in their own thinking. It's very obvious to see in people like Kanye west and Donald trump. They seem like they have no self awareness, and they use it to their advantage. It's probably the reason why they became successful. I can't imagine doing something and having no self doubt.
Back on topic, I've noticed that even when I realize my situation isn't really that bad my mind still doesn't want to let things go. It's like my mind wants to be mad about something and find the unfairness in everything. It's really just like you explained that there is a part of the mind that craves the emotional struggle. I've never heard the theory you were talking about though. I'll have to read more about it.
I’m really happy that you feel what I wrote may be of help to you. I’ve had similar conversations countless times. Like anything unless one is willing or capable of understanding the complexity of human behavior and it’s clearly categorical flaws, they can not find the way out.
And you are far from alone. Not only are you not alone. Everyone you ever see or meet is in the same boat to differing degrees. The very clearly profound broken machine that is the autonomic nervous system is a plague on humanity and not one to perhaps ever be fixed. Surely not easily.
It is the nature of self medication or even rx medication. Such chemicals act directly on receptors that again you simply do not have any control over. The only way out is to “learn” your way out. The description you made of where such counterproductive feelings even in the absence of a reason is yet another of a laundry list of text book proof of the maladaption of what I’ve described. Unfortunately your ANS has “learned” how to very easily get what it wants. You’ve unknowingly accommodated it’s poisonous behavior and probably for a very very long time. Such things actually change the physiology of the brain. Neurological pathways are created which allow it to do even more damage. The most frustrating part is that there really are no “simple easy fixes”. It is a process.
I want to provide you a tool to add to your arsenal. Find something tangible. Small. It doesn’t matter what it is. Can be a coin. A stone or any such sized object. Teach yourself that it is purely a tool to help you remember what’s been discussed. When the darkness comes on, and it will, you grab the item and remember it’s purpose. Again that it’s not “you” creating the noise. It’s an iteration of you that doesn’t share any of your goals. You remind yourself that you will not give it what it wants. You will not feed it. You see through the lie and know it is nothing more than this “mind” trapped in darkness that wants to “feel” or “be felt”. Perhaps you’d help it if you could, but you’ve learned that you can’t. It’s a close neighbor that doesn’t really care about the sentient person you are. It can only focus on itself. It doesn’t think like you. It doesn’t have any conception of the damage it does and furthermore doesn’t care. It doesn’t have the capacity. “Caring” by definition is in your domain. That of the intellect. To care one must think abstractly. About the consequences of such actions. The ANS doesn’t wield sentient thought. If it did is surely would choose another path. It is the same reason that when an animal watches its family member die it walks away and continues. It is driven by the ANS and does not perceive a life without something. It doesn’t truly comprehend what’s happened and what it all means. It’s just like binary. 1’s and 0’s. Hunger. Temperature. Shelter etc. the basics of survival.
You’re on the path now. You will stumble. A lot. Don’t let it draw you back. That is just the enemy getting what it wants. I believe it to be a horrid shame as it can be shown as virtually the cause of all bad in the world. But the truth is the truth. You are not alone in your mind. There are 2 of you. And your end games are absolutely not the same. I am posting a picture of something I had made years ago. It is always close to me. In my briefcase. Or at home. I grab it when needed. And it does it’s job to simply remind me of what I know to be true.
-------------------- Thankfully the US Constitution ensures that my rights don't end where your feelings begin
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Uzimyco
Searcher of information

Registered: 11/14/20
Posts: 58
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
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Re: I'm Coming to terms with the fact that I am a total cunt. [Re: masspan]
#27051643 - 11/22/20 07:53 AM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
masspan said: phased cuntlery? could work

seriously though, OP, i doubt you are really a 'cunt', truly crappy people aren't usually aware of how crappy they really are
that being said, it sounds like there is room for improvement if you are questioning your own actions
I missed this post. Masspan is correct. The dark psychological triad (feel free to google it) are the main foundation origins of such maladaptive thought. Notably narcissism is the big kahuna. The fact that you “see or embrace” your negative traits run afoul of a true narcissist. Where the line draws is when someone truly self-identifies as such. I’m sure you’ve known people that say things like “hey I know I’m a bitch” or “I know I’m a prick”.
That kind of self identification is a toxic lie. The individual uses the identification as a license to continue acting in a maladaptive fashion. It’s a tool to justify bad behavior. Steer clear of those people or always know that they aren’t saying it in a self deprecating way. They say it to make it known that they are toxic.
The op’s post went further and described the traits she didn’t like in herself. That is not self identification. It is self reflection and in a manner that is being delivered as that she isn’t pleased with it.
So again. You aren’t that person......yet........ stop the process now as that is where it leads.
-------------------- Thankfully the US Constitution ensures that my rights don't end where your feelings begin
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,961
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Re: I'm Coming to terms with the fact that I am a total cunt. [Re: Uzimyco]
#27051651 - 11/22/20 07:59 AM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
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Its never too late to improve your life by any means necessary, with whatever motivation will do it for you.
Don't resign to stopping the continuous process of self improvement.
This will go on right onto your death bed.
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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