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Anonymous #1
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The Proverbial "One That Got Away"
#27044867 - 11/18/20 05:03 AM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
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How common is this phenomenon? Do you have a story?
I'm engaged to be married and these feelings are frustrating for me. Do we put them on a pedestal only because we know that the relationship can't exist or do they offer something that our partner does not? In any case, I'm a bit drunk and thinking way too much about a girl from the past.
Can anyone else relate to this?
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Barnaby
Interesting lifetime


Registered: 12/13/17
Posts: 9,136
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Re: The Proverbial "One That Got Away" [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#27046386 - 11/18/20 08:48 PM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
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Not in that regard. My story is my first love in everyway yet at that time was in the phase of drug and heavy alcohol use. So much more to it yet she was world wise and I wasn't
Just go one day without drinking and say you love me. Yeah, no. She was petite and beautiful and I always feel connected to her. Made me laugh thinking about it when she was so interested when I stopped drinking, I do again now after a month off, and dancing in a circle at a Krishna temple, church, I don't know what they call it. Was a lot of fun.
So she is sitting there amazed at me sober and not stoned and laughing and dancing in this circle and jealousy sets in. She is with her boyfriend who is the type that women go to when are never wanting to be alone and she went both ways.
No judgement. Just that she was offended that I wouldn't take her back sitting at the meal afterwards with her, god this guy way stupid, not just saying that, oblivious as hell, and I just talked for awhile and let it be. Let it be, just let it be. Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Nothing like the first sex and love of ones life. True love and it sounds like gloating but I had a lot of sex working with females at the SLC airport and shit, Starbucks barista man, they are some really beautiful women that work there.
It made me laugh, now I am gloating that this other hispanic fat barista said she is just a tease and we hung out and sex just saying the words, when she said that someone had stood her up or something and I just said I think you are attractive and she is, but hop into bed isn't my thing anymore. Plus I had to quit my job there and go to Santa Cruz to escape my probation officer for my felony of lsd possesion.
Point being, in my small time like everyone wisdom gleaned and shared by someone like there is no love like ones first. Not just cheap sex. Have been with prostitutes and is demeaning to me and her and the guy waiting outside.
The Knight. Hard won wisom. I hold this out on my horse and understand the symbol of it. With the Saint temple and Masonic symbols one can if in tune go to depths of understanding and wisdom I didn't know that were possible.
So time for girlfriend again but having a child with her. One is enough. World is overpopulated as it is. All humans and no animals is the way of the world. Except at zoo's and aquariums. Fish are amazing. Seattle and that place is amazing.
Plus people fucking on that indoor ferris wheel and topless and not getting arrested while they shut down the whole thing to wait for the police to come. Seriously one has to murder someone to get arrested in Seattle. Whatever. If it doesn't harm anyone best to them.
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Grateful Dead
A Growing Ambivalence



Registered: 11/19/12
Posts: 2,468
Loc: Parked Car, Playing NPR
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Re: The Proverbial "One That Got Away" [Re: Anonymous #1] 2
#27047071 - 11/19/20 10:23 AM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
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Yeah, that's very common. Without closure our imagination runs wild on what could have been, being reasonable and recognizing the reason that the relationship ended probably is the best exercise. Focus on why the current relationship is lasting longer and be honest about the past. Unfortunately if you plagued with regret about losing someone and still think about them, you likely have some undealt with emotions that should be sorted through before moving ahead in a relationship. I can relate, what helps me is reminding myself of all the negatives that were accompanied with the past relationship. I also remind myself that my partner listens and cares about my desires so if there is something that truly bothers me we can talk about it.
-------------------- Life begins on the other side of despair...
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enzofilo
Noob


Registered: 05/19/20
Posts: 141
Last seen: 2 months, 20 days
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Re: The Proverbial "One That Got Away" [Re: Grateful Dead] 1
#27056048 - 11/24/20 07:09 PM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Grateful Dead said: Yeah, that's very common. Without closure our imagination runs wild on what could have been, being reasonable and recognizing the reason that the relationship ended probably is the best exercise. Focus on why the current relationship is lasting longer and be honest about the past. Unfortunately if you plagued with regret about losing someone and still think about them, you likely have some undealt with emotions that should be sorted through before moving ahead in a relationship. I can relate, what helps me is reminding myself of all the negatives that were accompanied with the past relationship. I also remind myself that my partner listens and cares about my desires so if there is something that truly bothers me we can talk about it.
Well said!
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Anonymous #1
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Re: The Proverbial "One That Got Away" [Re: enzofilo]
#27058122 - 11/26/20 04:33 AM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
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Thank you all for your feedback. I am OP. I was really struggling with feelings of having lost a girl that I met in Colombia. I had started using Instagram and saw old messages from her. I suppose that that was the trigger. I'd like to give a special shout out to Grateful Dead. Your post didn't make me feel so alone.
I deleted the old messages and decided to try to stop obsessing. It's unfair to my current partner.
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