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Anonymous #1
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How to keep a conversation going over text? 1
#27034358 - 11/11/20 11:39 PM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
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I matched with a girl over bumble. We've been on two dates and are going on a third date in two days. In person conversation flows easily; We have plenty in common and things go as well as I could hope considering there's a pandemic going on. Our dates have been pretty spread out in time, and we haven't exchanged a whole lot of texts between them. She's apologized for being "bad at texting", something I'm guilty of as well. Mostly I just have trouble coming up with anything to say. Starting a text conversation is hard, and keeping it alive is even harder. Whenever I do manage to send a text she takes hours to respond.
Maybe I'm just overthinking things, but it seems like we should be communicating more and I don't know how to initiate that.
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stzacrack
Stranger


Registered: 05/07/05
Posts: 3,862
Loc: United States
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Re: How to keep a conversation going over text? [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#27034365 - 11/11/20 11:45 PM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
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Turn the conversation into a sexual thing get nasty send her a picture of your dick
Jerkoff imagining fucking her in the ass
Rinse repeat
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Re: How to keep a conversation going over text? [Re: stzacrack] 1
#27034380 - 11/12/20 12:16 AM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
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LOL, funny post but obviously do not do anything that stza suggests.
As for your conundrum with this girl; do you have any yardstick against which you're measuring this interaction? Has there been another relationship with a woman where you've texted like wild, unrestrained animals in the early days? Because to be fair; that's how it usually is when there's a spark/intense chemisry
Maybe you guys just don't have that from the get go?
That's no bad thing in and of itself; many of the best and deepest relationships first developed as friendships and then only after time become intimate relationships.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but perhaps the reason you have an expectation over how the out of person interaction should be flowing here is because of the medium by which you met. Would your feelings be different if this was a person who you had bumped into going about your usual day to day life and then after you had got talking had exchange numbers?
You are almost certainly overthinking things however it is understandable and it is also commendable that you've come here to discuss it with the community. I think, once you've had some additional responses you'll have a far better idea of how to deal with this situation.
However I will sign off with my own advice and that is to simply let go. Allow things to flow exactly as they are and enjoy it. And if you want to change, change it. Engage her. Google things like questions to ask on a date and questions to us to get to know someone and funny questions to ask someone and icebreakers. Etc.
And overall good luck and be confident (but no arrogant).
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Kryptos
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Registered: 11/01/14
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Re: How to keep a conversation going over text? [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
#27035087 - 11/12/20 11:36 AM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
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If you're going on dates, I wouldn't worry about the texting. Personally, I've been trying to limit my texting to scheduling dates anyway, because I've realized that near constant texting back and forth, while fun, seems to make girls less interested. I'd guess it's an effort thing. Why go on a date when you're texting back and forth anyway? Dates require pants (at least for some period of time) and pants suck.
If you've figured out how to schedule dates with consistency, and it seems you have, I wouldn't worry about the texting.
Personally, I've been sending out a picture of whatever I am doing. Lately, lots of cooking. Memes work too, I just suck at memes. Turn it into a joke, somehow. Cooking is easy because there's always steps that look extremely unappetizing out of context. Then turn it into a date. Cooking is easy because you can be like "want some of this delicious food that I am making?"
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Re: How to keep a conversation going over text? [Re: Kryptos]
#27035136 - 11/12/20 12:03 PM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Kryptos said: I've realized that near constant texting back and forth, while fun, seems to make girls less interested.
This is definitely a risk; doesn't always happen but I have experienced it too.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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MLPismyOPSEC
That One Ponyfucker


Registered: 11/13/18
Posts: 884
Loc: Equestria? Mordor? Wester...
Last seen: 10 days, 9 hours
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Re: How to keep a conversation going over text? [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
#27035719 - 11/12/20 05:52 PM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
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Definitely overthinking. She admitted right off the bat that she's bad about texting, so you know that's not a priority to her. Try calling and talking on the phone for a bit, maybe she's more into that. Either way, you say conversation in-person flows well, what are you doing differently in-person versus text? It sounds to me like it's just a mental block. Also it's only been two dates, give it time, things may change in the future.
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Rafiikii



Registered: 11/17/10
Posts: 2,891
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Re: How to keep a conversation going over text? [Re: MLPismyOPSEC] 1
#27037873 - 11/13/20 10:45 PM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
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bad at texting means shes texting a hundred other dudes.
sorry im jaded
-------------------- "You didn’t come into this world. You came out of it, like a wave from the ocean. You are no stranger here."  
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Re: How to keep a conversation going over text? [Re: Rafiikii]
#27037971 - 11/13/20 11:55 PM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rafiikii said: bad at texting means shes texting a hundred other dudes.
sorry im jaded
Yes, you are. It absolutely does not mean that.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Rafiikii



Registered: 11/17/10
Posts: 2,891
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Re: How to keep a conversation going over text? [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
#27038080 - 11/14/20 01:39 AM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
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it potentially means that, not absolutely
-------------------- "You didn’t come into this world. You came out of it, like a wave from the ocean. You are no stranger here."  
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yeah


Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 3,729
Last seen: 1 month, 21 days
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Re: How to keep a conversation going over text? [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
#27038226 - 11/14/20 05:57 AM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Jokeshopbeard said:
Quote:
Rafiikii said: bad at texting means shes texting a hundred other dudes.
sorry im jaded
Yes, you are. It absolutely does not mean that.
you don't get how many options any given woman has at any given moment these days not gonna say it always means that but it definitely can and does often enough
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Edited by yeah (11/14/20 06:14 AM)
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Rafiikii



Registered: 11/17/10
Posts: 2,891
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Re: How to keep a conversation going over text? [Re: yeah]
#27038990 - 11/14/20 03:14 PM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
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just text naturally, don't appear desperate, don't text multiple times if you haven't heard back from her.
patience. if she wants to get to know you more, she will.
if shes actually meeting up with you and not flaking last minute, thats a good sign none the less.
best of luck.
-------------------- "You didn’t come into this world. You came out of it, like a wave from the ocean. You are no stranger here."  
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Anonymous #2
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Re: How to keep a conversation going over text? [Re: Rafiikii]
#27041698 - 11/16/20 07:04 AM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
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I'm of the opinion that this can be a non-issue if you want it to be. I believe the best conversations are had in person, and I don't really participate in the tech culture, so my texting is brief, explicit and is either a) to set up plans or b) sexual. Anything else, lets just talk about that in person.
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