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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Reasonable response times * 3
    #27031465 - 11/10/20 11:23 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

This is in reference to how long you think it's fair to keep someone (friends & family, specifically) waiting on a response to an electronic message (since we communicate in that manner so much in this day and age).

I think we all have varying ideas about how long you'd keep a friend waiting for a response. Say you get a text or an email from a great friend but you're busy/don't have the emotional bandwidth available to respond in that moment. What's the outside time you take to respond without it being rude? Hours, days, weeks, months?

I know that since the inception of COVID into our lives, a lot has changed and a lot of people have been under a lot more stress and pressure. Depression too, seems to be running rife. But I can't understand how some people can go six months and half a dozen attempts a contact and not say a single word in return.

I know when I get depressed, I find it harder to respond and so take longer, but my feeling about acceptable response times is clearly just different from other peoples, which is why I put this out there.

How do you deal when a really great friend just disappears off the radar completely, even though you know they're still alive and active?
.
How long before you feel like a bastard?
You may choose only one


Votes accepted from (11/10/20 08:23 AM) to (No end specified)
View the results of this poll



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Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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Invisibletyrannicalrex
Strange R
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Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
Re: Reasonable response times [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #27031574 - 11/10/20 12:42 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

I have friends in Texas who sometimes never text back, but they are far away so I give them slack, lots of slack. I wait a day or more sometimes, but not often. I try to get back to texts within an hour or so, or by the end of the day of working.


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OfflineRookieS
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Registered: 10/01/20
Posts: 15
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
Re: Reasonable response times [Re: tyrannicalrex] * 1
    #27031845 - 11/10/20 03:31 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

I had a good friend years ago that would go radio silen on our whole group of friends, and his family. We all knew he would do this from time to time. I believe he had some type of mental/medical challenges that he was unwilling to talk to us about or seek professional help. When he would finally make contact, he acted like nothing had happened and we just spoke the day before. I had told him that I respect his privacy and will help him in anyway possible. We all just wanted to make sure he was okay. I asked him to at least let me know if he was going to check out for a while just as a courtesy to a longtime friend. He never came around and would be off the radar for weeks at tye least and was missing for 5 months on one occasion. I finally realized that I was unable to help him and it was too difficult to not know if he was safe. I ended up just completely cutting off ties. It hurts, but good relationships are based on trust, boundries, and mutual respect.

Sorry for the long rant. I do my best to get back with people as soon as possible. If I just don't have the mental or emotional energy for a specific person or topic, I just let them know I got there message and I will get back to them when I am in a better place.


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Offlinewrestler_az
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Registered: 08/11/02
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Re: Reasonable response times [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #27031884 - 11/10/20 03:59 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

it really depends. if it's just some stupid shit, sometimes i won't reply at all. i'd say about 24 hrs for most things though. but i'm horrible at getting back, especially if i'm down. i think my friends/family get that about me. they are at least used to it by now.


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how's your WOW?





  Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM) 


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Invisibletrees
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Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 9,194
Re: Reasonable response times [Re: wrestler_az]
    #27032079 - 11/10/20 06:11 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

I am the worst at this for many people in my life. I ignore calls and texts from people and friends every day, and i selectively respond either asap or years later. I am 100% forgiving and no reason needed understanding of anyone who doesn't respond or takes their sweet time. Still applies if they go from immediate responding to seldom to never


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OfflineOutsideOfMyMind
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Registered: 10/05/20
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Re: Reasonable response times [Re: trees]
    #27032445 - 11/10/20 10:46 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

24 hours is way too long dude. Unless you are like really old and you just don't know how to use your fucking phone there is no excuse at all. Everyone looks at their damn phone at least twice a day but like really 99% of people look at their phones way more than just twice a day. Texting is a form of communication along with talking on the phone, email, social networking, and even snail mail. If you don't respond to a text within 24 hours I just think you are being rude. It takes like 5 seconds to respond to a text message so don't tell me you don't have fucking time. The only reason I can remotely understand as to why somebody would forget to respond to a text is if they are ADHD. I really hate these smartphones. It has caused people to take communication for granted. But yeah 24 hours is way too long and if you respond to a text really late you better be fucking apologizing to me for the delayed response and giving me a reason as to why it took so long. like if you had to go to the hospital maybe I would understand but other than that there's no excuse. some people should just throw their smartphones away and just get a landline instead.


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Invisibletyrannicalrex
Strange R
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Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
Re: Reasonable response times [Re: OutsideOfMyMind]
    #27032461 - 11/10/20 10:50 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

OutsideOfMyMind said:
24 hours is way too long dude. Unless you are like really old and you just don't know how to use your fucking phone there is no excuse at all. Everyone looks at their damn phone at least twice a day but like really 99% of people look at their phones way more than just twice a day. Texting is a form of communication along with talking on the phone, email, social networking, and even snail mail. If you don't respond to a text within 24 hours I just think you are being rude. It takes like 5 seconds to respond to a text message so don't tell me you don't have fucking time. The only reason I can remotely understand as to why somebody would forget to respond to a text is if they are ADHD. I really hate these smartphones. It has caused people to take communication for granted. But yeah 24 hours is way too long and if you respond to a text really late you better be fucking apologizing to me for the delayed response and giving me a reason as to why it took so long. like if you had to go to the hospital maybe I would understand but other than that there's no excuse. some people should just throw their smartphones away and just get a landline instead.



And this is what cellphones are causing in human interaction folks!
OOMM(G) :smirk:


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Offlinespirit_shadow
Feature not a bug
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,665
Last seen: 1 hour, 3 minutes
Re: Reasonable response times [Re: OutsideOfMyMind]
    #27032462 - 11/10/20 10:51 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

None y'all(except trex) responding to me so STAL ;P


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ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011
Ban lotto


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Offlinewrestler_az
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Registered: 08/11/02
Posts: 13,676
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Re: Reasonable response times [Re: OutsideOfMyMind] * 3
    #27032811 - 11/11/20 05:54 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

It's not always about not having time. I get a lot of anxiety when it comes to communicating. Sometimes it takes a while to figure out what I want to say, how to respond. Sometimes I just don't want to talk. I don't think you and I could be friends. You're way too clingy.


--------------------
how's your WOW?





  Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM) 


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Offlinechristopera
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Registered: 10/13/17
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Last seen: 57 minutes, 13 seconds
Re: Reasonable response times [Re: wrestler_az] * 1
    #27032830 - 11/11/20 06:19 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

As I get older I take more time to respond. I use to reply immediately when I was younger. Some times I just ignore messages all together these days.

It just depends on the urgency and person I am talking with. Some times I just don't feel like responding, or some times I am just busy and forget.


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Enjoy the process of your search without succumbing to the pressure of the result.

A Dorito is pizza, change my mind.

Bank and Union with The Shroomery at the Zuul on The internet - now with %'s and things

I’m sorry it had to be me.


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Offlinemorrowasted
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Registered: 10/30/09
Posts: 31,377
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Re: Reasonable response times [Re: christopera]
    #27032842 - 11/11/20 06:26 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

For a real friend, a day. No questions.


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OfflineGypsy Boy
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Registered: 03/17/17
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Re: Reasonable response times [Re: morrowasted] * 1
    #27032905 - 11/11/20 07:26 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

I try to respond within reasonable time. Sometimes straight away as i get the message. Sometimes after couple of hours, when i feel settled. But ignoring messages for longer than 24 hours is rude in my books :shrug:


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Invisibletrees
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Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 9,194
Re: Reasonable response times [Re: OutsideOfMyMind]
    #27032941 - 11/11/20 07:56 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

OutsideOfMyMind said:
24 hours is way too long dude. Unless you are like really old and you just don't know how to use your fucking phone there is no excuse at all. Everyone looks at their damn phone at least twice a day but like really 99% of people look at their phones way more than just twice a day. Texting is a form of communication along with talking on the phone, email, social networking, and even snail mail. If you don't respond to a text within 24 hours I just think you are being rude. It takes like 5 seconds to respond to a text message so don't tell me you don't have fucking time. The only reason I can remotely understand as to why somebody would forget to respond to a text is if they are ADHD. I really hate these smartphones. It has caused people to take communication for granted. But yeah 24 hours is way too long and if you respond to a text really late you better be fucking apologizing to me for the delayed response and giving me a reason as to why it took so long. like if you had to go to the hospital maybe I would understand but other than that there's no excuse. some people should just throw their smartphones away and just get a landline instead.




If it's a professional /work related situation I can agree, but in terms of socially, if you got that mad over it i'd just block you, good riddance


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OfflineOutsideOfMyMind
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Registered: 10/05/20
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Re: Reasonable response times [Re: wrestler_az]
    #27033253 - 11/11/20 11:25 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

wrestler_az said:
It's not always about not having time. I get a lot of anxiety when it comes to communicating. Sometimes it takes a while to figure out what I want to say, how to respond. Sometimes I just don't want to talk. I don't think you and I could be friends. You're way too clingy.



But texting is not "talking." There's no non verbal cues with texting. How the hell do you get "anxiety" over sending someone a text? Take a damn xanax. 

Does anyone here know what NON VERBAL communication is? Non verbal communication is actually 70% of our language and you can't see it while texting. This is why text messages always get misconstrued.


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Edited by OutsideOfMyMind (11/11/20 11:27 AM)


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Reasonable response times [Re: OutsideOfMyMind] * 1
    #27033289 - 11/11/20 11:50 AM (3 years, 2 months ago)

85% is what is generally recognized for non-verbal.

However it's pretty unreasonable of you to project the fact that you don't struggle with it on to other people. And it's downright irresponsible of you to tell someone to take a benzo.

How about showing some compassion?


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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Offlinewrestler_az
PsiLLy BiLLy
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Registered: 08/11/02
Posts: 13,676
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Last seen: 11 hours, 49 minutes
Re: Reasonable response times [Re: OutsideOfMyMind]
    #27033315 - 11/11/20 12:06 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

wrestler_az said:
It's not always about not having time. I get a lot of anxiety when it comes to communicating. Sometimes it takes a while to figure out what I want to type, how to respond. Sometimes I just don't want to communicate. I don't think you and I could be friends. You're way too clingy.




sorry, better? i often use the words as synonyms.


--------------------
how's your WOW?





  Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM) 


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InvisibleTheFakeSunRa
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Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 16,449
Loc: Dirdy SOUF Flag
Re: Reasonable response times [Re: wrestler_az]
    #27033322 - 11/11/20 12:10 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

This probably won’t surprise anyone but nobody texts me first and I rarely ever get a response from anyone.

When I get a text I’m either on it in seconds or I block it.


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[quote]Asante said:
You constantly make posts thatr fling middle school insults at people you don't like mixed in with maladjusted psychopathic comments about wanting to beat up the other poster with a crowbar.

You know how shit you are, you just don't give a fuck for precisely that reason.

I disendorse you.[/quote]


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Offlinewrestler_az
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Re: Reasonable response times [Re: OutsideOfMyMind]
    #27033333 - 11/11/20 12:14 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

OutsideOfMyMind said:
There's no non verbal cues with texting. How the hell do you get "anxiety" over sending someone a text?




it's mostly about typing the wrong thing, or in a way where the recipient maybe misunderstands, or takes what i type out of context, turns the conversation into something i didn't intend. kind of like how you just did.


--------------------
how's your WOW?





  Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM) 


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OfflineOutsideOfMyMind
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Registered: 10/05/20
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Re: Reasonable response times [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #27033340 - 11/11/20 12:18 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Jokeshopbeard said:
85% is what is generally recognized for non-verbal.

However it's pretty unreasonable of you to project the fact that you don't struggle with it on to other people. And it's downright irresponsible of you to tell someone to take a benzo.

How about showing some compassion?



What I said about taking the benzo was sarcasm. You see on text-based communications you don't know what my tone of voice is so you don't know if I'm being sarcastic or not. if we were talking face-to-face you would be able to hear my tone of voice and you would know right away that I was just joking.


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Offlinewrestler_az
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Re: Reasonable response times [Re: OutsideOfMyMind] * 2
    #27033346 - 11/11/20 12:22 PM (3 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

OutsideOfMyMind said:
What I said about taking the benzo was sarcasm. You see on text-based communications you don't know what my tone of voice is so you don't know if I'm being sarcastic or not. if we were talking face-to-face you would be able to hear my tone of voice and you would know right away that I was just joking.




another perfect example of why i might get anxious about a text.


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how's your WOW?





  Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM) 


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