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lost87
Stranger



Registered: 05/12/15
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Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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Vent&?? 1
#27028154 - 11/08/20 08:45 AM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
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I really need to get this off. So I’m sitting at my house and get a strange feeling I need to ride over and check up on my Brother 28(long time opiate abuser)I thought he was taking soboxon. staying at my moms. She’s out of town and he has his infant son on the weekends. When I arrived he was ok walking talking hit a couple dabs outside and Was his usual self.. I was playing with the kid when I hear a thump in the kitchen I go in and he was in the floor with chocolate milk all over him one leg under him. I legit freaked when I walked in I yelled his name,no response he was cool to the touch covered In sweat,chest barley moving eyes rolled back. I ran to grab a phone and ran back to him before I dialed 911. I started cpr with it being the only logical thing to do not knowing He had done herion and was overdosed. I was just trying to save him no matter what the cause was. it wasn’t working he was just fading. I suddenly heard the woman on the phone asking for the address I proceeded to give it to her and kept blowing and pushing I didn’t know if it was working just knew that I couldn’t watch him die.
A lady cop arrived and administered narcan he threw up popped up and said he was fine. What in the actual fuck.....I didn’t know he was gonna relapse today no one but him knew that. If I wouldn’t have been there to call for help and just went in the morning like I was planning I wouldn’t have a brother and would have had to break the news to my mother and his kids mother so I feel like I dodged a big bullet by getting off my ass and acting on a feeling. Besides all that I was wanting some opinions maybe some help on this topic I know opiates are world wide and I know people od and die daily. I can’t understand why he just keeps going back to herion and literally killing himself. If anything has worked for someone you know please let me in on the secret because I can’t seem To be of any assistance after 10 years of dealing with his addiction.
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bodhisatta 
Smurf real estate agent


Registered: 04/30/13
Posts: 61,889
Loc: Milky way
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Re: Vent&?? [Re: lost87] 1
#27028160 - 11/08/20 08:50 AM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
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People gotta figure it out for themselves in my experience. He will wake up one day and change or not. Unfortunately there's two paths not three. Its either eventually OD and die because no ones there or quit. You don't go on being a safe recreational user though. All you can do is talk to him and hopefully one day it clicks for him
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Tight Lunchbox
Drunk cat


Registered: 11/06/16
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Re: Vent&?? [Re: lost87] 2
#27028164 - 11/08/20 08:53 AM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
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There is nothing that you can do about another person's addiction. I'm glad you were around to save your brother.
-------------------- "it's all a joke between mom contractions and coffin fittings" The most useful tool for noobs
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bodhisatta 
Smurf real estate agent


Registered: 04/30/13
Posts: 61,889
Loc: Milky way
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Very sad but it might be time to distance yourself. Seems counterintuitive but sometimes addicts subconsciously rely on the fact that they do have support in making decisions to relapse
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
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Fucking 6th sense is real. Mad respect for listening to your gut
-------------------- ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011 Ban lotto
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bodhisatta 
Smurf real estate agent


Registered: 04/30/13
Posts: 61,889
Loc: Milky way
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Maybe this event is a catalyst for your brothers change. Maybe its a catalyst for your own change in perspective about your brother. Either way let it be an opportunity for betterment even if its selfish betterment.
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Solid_Citizen
Ne'er do well


Registered: 06/23/20
Posts: 15
Loc: SC
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
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It makes me sad to read this because for many many years I was just like your brother. I am reminded of all the harm I did to others and especially those that cared for me. I can tell you that there certainly is hope for addicts, though in my experience and my opinion, it hinges on the addicts desire to kick. There is no easy answer and no "wrong" or "right" way to support our friends and loved ones who are addicted. I have personal opinions on methods of living life without opiates and these opinions have come from experience, but I don't advocate. My heartfelt sympathies go to you and your family. Remember to take care of yourself, whatever that means to you.
-------------------- The biology of purpose keeps my nose above the surface.
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Ima Trooper
Chilldog Extraordinaire



Registered: 02/21/08
Posts: 13,533
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As others have said, there is nothing you can do. Healing from an addiction is an extremely difficult process, because not only are you working through a physical and psychological addiction, but in order for it to TAKE, you have to work through the reasons why you turned to that drug or substance in the first place.
The process takes years, and can only be done by someone who is ready to get clean and stay clean for their own reasons.
The most you can do is let them know you're there to help if they decide to get clean. Then get out of the way so they can crash and burn. Unfortunately, with many substances, that means dying or permanent damage. Literally nothing can be done about that. I'm sorry you're going through this, it's really painful, I know.
Seek therapy for yourself in dealing with this. Take care of yourself.
-------------------- "Its moving of its own accord...and I like that in a shirt!" - Me, tripping. deCypher said: Schizophrenia beats dining alone, you know.
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lost87
Stranger



Registered: 05/12/15
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Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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Thank you all for the responses. I understand it is a sickness and I have dealt with his addiction for over 10 Years willfully. I have done everything in my power To help him live another day. I will never give up on him but I do have to distance myself. I feel like me turning my back will be the end of his life but I’m trusting That it will do more good than harm. After having to bring him back again knowing how bad it could have ended A little tough love isn’t gonna hurt him or me. I would love to find a cure for his suffering. I feel I’m gonna lose him to this,it hurts but I’m exhausted and have to try something new. I’ve never had the temptation to dabble with the h Don’t know why but I am thankful.
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Ima Trooper
Chilldog Extraordinaire



Registered: 02/21/08
Posts: 13,533
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Last seen: 2 days, 14 hours
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Re: Vent&?? [Re: lost87]
#27031253 - 11/10/20 08:58 AM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
lost87 said: Thank you all for the responses. I understand it is a sickness and I have dealt with his addiction for over 10 Years willfully. I have done everything in my power To help him live another day. I will never give up on him but I do have to distance myself. I feel like me turning my back will be the end of his life but I’m trusting That it will do more good than harm. After having to bring him back again knowing how bad it could have ended A little tough love isn’t gonna hurt him or me. I would love to find a cure for his suffering. I feel I’m gonna lose him to this,it hurts but I’m exhausted and have to try something new. I’ve never had the temptation to dabble with the h Don’t know why but I am thankful.
Look into AlAnon, it's for family and loved ones of addicts. Mostly alcoholics, but there are lots of drug addictions, as really the idea is the same: take a substance to deal with life.
-------------------- "Its moving of its own accord...and I like that in a shirt!" - Me, tripping. deCypher said: Schizophrenia beats dining alone, you know.
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birdeatingspider
Stranger in Paradise



Registered: 12/18/14
Posts: 2,988
Loc: so many roads
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Re: Vent&?? [Re: lost87] 1
#27031299 - 11/10/20 09:41 AM (3 years, 2 months ago) |
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Have you spoken since?
Just like addiction, relapse and recovery is an individualized story- even if the narrative is the same.
Sometimes people relapse because they don't feel supported and drugs are what is left. It can be on whim, or a carefully planned decision.
And for the loved ones, coping is personal as well. Just be prepared for the outcome. Protect yourself and set boundaries.
Sometimes people relapse in order to establish distance not from, but for those they love dearly- but can't stay clean for.
Therapy for you, Alanon. Very sad, sorry you are going through this. Would encourage a conversation for both of your sake.. Talking it out brings clarity for both parties.
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From all I may be, or have been before, To mingle with the Universe, and feel What I can ne’er express, yet cannot all conceal.
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
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Dont leave your brother op. You said yourself he would have died if it wasnt for you.....that would make me keep even more of an eye if I was in that situation....
-------------------- ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011 Ban lotto
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stzacrack
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Registered: 05/07/05
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In my experience people usually get high because th ey want to get high
The other shit is excuses
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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Quote:
spirit_shadow said: Dont leave your brother op. You said yourself he would have died if it wasnt for you.....that would make me keep even more of an eye if I was in that situation....
I know if I picked a tough love thing and then my brother passed I'd be more devastated. Its a tough situation for sure.
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stzacrack
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Are you thinking of leaving your brother behind to die?
Shit man do I gotta really tell you what typa piece of shit would do that?
You're probably the only person who gets through his defense mechanisms
You might not even know how heavy the words of those you respect carry even when you're fucking around with that shit
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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I agree. OP mentioned he felt something was wrong and actually saved him!!! He needs to keep in touch with him for sure if they have that connection.
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stzacrack
Stranger


Registered: 05/07/05
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Quote:
tyrannicalrex said: I agree. OP mentioned he felt something was wrong and actually saved him!!! He needs to keep in touch with him for sure if they have that connection.
Shit man I've got a brother 4 years younger I dont even have his phone number
Nothing worse than brothers at odds, fuckin lame bro
If you should fight for anyone in this life, it's your fuckin brother
To me, it's like saying "Alex go ahead and forget about your daughter because her mother is a fuckin whore"
Not a chance
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Ima Trooper
Chilldog Extraordinaire



Registered: 02/21/08
Posts: 13,533
Loc: United States
Last seen: 2 days, 14 hours
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Quote:
stzacrack said: Are you thinking of leaving your brother behind to die?
Shit man do I gotta really tell you what typa piece of shit would do that?
You're probably the only person who gets through his defense mechanisms
You might not even know how heavy the words of those you respect carry even when you're fucking around with that shit
It's not his responsibility to feel like he constantly has to save his brother. HIS BROTHER is the one doing heroin. HIS BROTHER is making dangerous calls with his life, that is HIS BROTHER'S decision and responsibility.
His brother is a grown adult, who has to deal with the consequences of his own decisions. Don't put that shit on OP.
-------------------- "Its moving of its own accord...and I like that in a shirt!" - Me, tripping. deCypher said: Schizophrenia beats dining alone, you know.
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,665
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It is a very shitty situation for sure. All I know is I would not completely cut contact and I'd just keep my watch very closely from a diatance.
-------------------- ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011 Ban lotto
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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Quote:
spirit_shadow said: It is a very shitty situation for sure. All I know is I would not completely cut contact and I'd just keep my watch very closely from a diatance.
 
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